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This episode was inspired by this great article: In Praise of ‘Scruffy Hospitality’
This week, we are talking about getting better at hospitality. This is a tough issue for so many women. We worry about our homes or our cooking skills or our children not being “good enough” for company. We stress about how to be the perfect hostess. But hospitality is such a gift to ourselves, to others, and to our communities, that we all should make a little effort to get better at doing it. I share some ideas for beginners and “pros” alike:
1) Just make yourself do it. A lot.
The only way to get more comfortable doing something is to do it a lot. Stop waiting for the “perfect” moment that will never come. Invite someone over this week! Make it a regular thing.
2) Start small.
If you are a newbie and stressing about how to host people, you don’t need to put on a fancy dinner party. You can have another couple over for a game night with snacks, or friends over for dessert and coffee.
3) Let others help.
Sometimes our prime gets in the way and we feel the need to show everyone how we can do everything when hosting an event. Part of community-building, however, is doing things cooperatively. Let others help with the food or with planning or with clean up. You can visit and enjoy each other’s company while working together.
4) Stay within your budget.
Hosting others will be a major stress if you break the budget every time you have someone over. No need to show off. Simple food and drinks, simple decorations for parties are all fine. Be reasonable about what you can afford to do, so you won’t wind up resenting your guests or regretting your event.
5) Don’t apologize.
When people come over and you spend the whole time apologizing for the state of your home, the behavior of your children, the quality of your food. or whatever is making you feel self-conscious. your guests are going to be uncomfortable. Focus on visiting with your guests and let go of the idea that everything needs to be “perfect.”
6) Pray for receptivity.
Receptivity and openness to others is a beautiful feminine gift. Ask for more of it, ask for the grace to be a gift to others with your focus on them and their needs, with your attention to the desires of others, with your interest in their thoughts and ideas. This is how people feel loved. Spend some real time getting to know your guests better and really connecting with them. They will remember your kindness and attention — not the food or the dust on your bookshelf!
I also share feedback from Barb Gilman (Barb in Nebraska on social media!) and Kim in Australia who asks about talking to your kids about unanswered prayers. Also, we hear from Melissa who shares a fun way to keep moving during kids’ baseball games.
SOME PLACES I WILL BE:
I will be in Troy, VT for the 3rd annual Family Day Retreat on Saturday, June 24, 2017. There are talks and music, Eucharistic adoration and procession, and food and fun for people of all ages and all kinds of families. Check out all the details and register here!
Or find out more about having me come speak at your parish or conference.
My newest book is available!
You’re Worth It! Change How You Feel About Yourself By Discovering How Jesus Feels About You