TO LISTEN
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NOTES
This week’s topic is prayer. How has the way you approach prayer changed over your lifetime? How should we respond when it seems that God does not answer our prayers? What is the point of prayer? And what can we do when it feels like God is far away?

INTERVIEW
The inspiration for this topic comes from my interview with author Hallie Lord. Hallie’s new book, On The Other Side of Fear, will be out this summer so she shares about that topic, but also about prayer and ways in which she experiences God’s presence in her life.

SHOUT OUT
This week’s Girlfriends Shout-out goes to listener Jen who wrote to ask for resources for marriage support for couples who are often far away from one another. She has been working on her relationship with her husband who is a truck driver and often is gone for long periods of time. We are proud of you, Jen, for taking those small but important steps toward softening your heart and opening yourself up to growing in love and sacrifice in your marriage. Great job! (And we will do more podcasts on this topic in the future.)

CHALLENGE
This week’s challenge is to think about your prayer life. What needs improving? Are you in a rut? Do you need to seek some spiritual advice from a priest or get yourself to confession? Do you need to make greater use of the sacraments? Do you need to make greater efforts toward finding time for daily prayer? Decide what needs improvement, and then commit to making a small step toward that improvement this week.

FEEDBACK
I share feedback from Mary Lenaberg (from Passionate Perseverance) who is suffering from the flu. 🙁 Also, listener Ginny checks in and Sarah Reinhard as well. Thanks so much for your voice feedback. It makes my day!

Thank you, as always, for being here. Your encouragement and support of Girlfriends means so much and I am so grateful for your presence here. God bless your week!

Links for this episode:
Subscribe to Girlfriends in iTunes
Subscribe to Girlfriends in Stitcher
About Danielle Bean
Danielle’s Books on Amazon
Catholic Digest
Subscribe to the Danielle Bean newsletter

Hallie Lord
Hallie’s website
Hallie’s book: On the Other Side of Fear
Hallie on Instagram
Hallie on Facebook
Hallie on Twitter

Where I Will Be Next Weekend!
April 16: Our Lady’s Luncheon, Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, Waterbury, CT
See you there!

Other Things Mentioned in This Episode
Kelly Wahlquist’s ministry, WINE, Women in the New Evangelization
Karen Edmisten’s book on miscarriage, After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman’s Companion to Healing and Hope
Book of Confidence (prayer book)

Contact:
Email Danielle Bean
Rate and Review Girlfriends in iTunes
Leave voice feedback
Girlfriends on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Twitter
Danielle Bean on Instagram

TO LISTEN
Simply hit “play” above!
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or subscribe in Stitcher

NOTES

This week we are talking about ways we can survive — and even thrive! — when times are busy. Whether it’s during baseball season (like us!) or other busy times, there are some simple ways to make sure you and your family make it through packed calendar days.

Lower your standards.
What can you let go of during a busy time? Homemade meals, housework, or kids’ nightly bath times? Now is the time to accept the less-than-perfect in exchange for keeping sane.

Ask for help.
It can be humbling to have to ask for help, but there are people in our lives who can support us and pitch in sometimes, if only we will ask. It can even be mutually beneficial to ask for help from friends and extended family members sometimes. It may not take a village, but it does take many hands and helpers to raise a family!

Take care of yourself (and your relationships).
Sometimes the first thing we let go of when it comes to busy days is the acre we need to give ourselves. Whether it’s proper nutrition, rest, or exercise we often put ourselves last when we get crunched for time. But when life gets busy you need to take care of yourself more than ever, so that you will have the strength and stamina to care for others. Also important is to remember to care for our relationships, especially our marriages, because these can get neglected and suffer if we are too busy.

INTERVIEW
In this week’s interview I get to chat with Kathryn Whitaker who blogs at Team Whitaker. Kathryn shares beautifully about her triumphs as a mom of a preemie baby. She also discusses the craziness of busy family schedules and shares how her family once “pulled the plug” on EVERYTHING with wonderful results. Kathryn also shares her success with Fr. Michael Gaitley’s book, 33 Days to Morning Glory.

SHOUT OUT
This week’s Girlfriends Shout-out goes to listener Renee who wrote to ask about handling an unruly 2-year-old at Mass. Hang in there, Renee. You are doing great, and you will get through this! 🙂

CHALLENGE
This week’s challenge is to think about your family’s schedule and discuss your outside commitments as a family. Decide together if the activities you are committed to are really serving your family’s needs and priorities. Let me know how it goes for you!

FEEDBACK

I am still looking for questions for a fun new project I am working on related to the podcast. What do you want to know? About my life, my work, my opinions,? Ask me anything! You can leave questions here or email me any time. Thank you! If you have a moment, please fill out this brief form to share your opinion about Girlfriends. Don’t be shy! It’s anonymous, and your feedback is so helpful to me!

Thank you, as always, for being here. Your encouragement and support of Girlfriends means so much and I am so grateful for your presence here. God bless your week!

Links for this episode:
Subscribe to Girlfriends in iTunes
Subscribe to Girlfriends in Stitcher
About Danielle Bean
Danielle’s Books on Amazon
Catholic Digest
Subscribe to the Danielle Bean newsletter

Kathryn Whitaker
Kathryn’s website:
Team Whitaker
Kathryn on Facebook
Kathryn on Twitter
Kathryn on Pinterest
Kathryn on Instagram

Some Places I Will Be!
April 9: Living in Truth, Kansas City Catholic Women’s Conference
April 16: Our Lady’s Luncheon, Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, Waterbury, CT

Contact:
Email Danielle Bean
Rate and Review Girlfriends in iTunes
Leave voice feedback
Girlfriends on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Twitter
Danielle Bean on Instagram

TO LISTEN
Simply hit “play” above!
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NOTES

This week, we are talking about ways to improve our marriages. My title is a little wrong because the ways I share for improving your marriage may not necessarily be “easy,” but they are simple.

Give up negativity.
Do you tend to have negative interactions and conversations with your husband? It’s an easy habit to fall into, but don’t be a downer! Look for ways to have positive conversations with your husband and to avoid whining, complaining, and focusing on the bad stuff.

Be active together.
Think of ways that the two of you can share a project together when you have time alone. When we share tasks, common goals bring us together and make feel part of the same “team.” Find a simple thing the two of you can work on together in a positive way.

Do more than your share.
Stop keeping score of who does what and what is “fair” with regard to household chores. Give up the idea that everything in marriage is supposed to be 50/50. It never will be and life is not fair! Give yourself the peace of mind and heart that come from letting go of fairness and looking to give generously inside of your relationship.

Use the power of prayer.
Praying with your spouse is a powerful way to grow spiritually and personally inside of your relationship, but even if you and your husband aren’t there yet, you can use prayer to improve your marriage by praying FOR your husband daily. Also powerful are the small ways that we can offer up marital sacrifices and inconveniences for the benefit of our relationships. Grow closer to Jesus while praying for your husband and asking for healing in your marriage.

INTERVIEW
In this week’s interview I talk with author/blogger Jeannie Ewing who writes and shares from the unique perspective of a mom with two beautiful daughters who have special needs. Jeannie shares from the heart about her experiences as a mom, her writing goals, and ways in which she had grown both personally and professionally over the years.

SHOUT OUT
This week’s Girlfriends Shout-out goes to listener Claire who wrote to share about working on being faithful to a daily routine with regard to housework, meals, and caring for kids.

CHALLENGE
This week’s challenge is to think about the ways of improving your marriage that we talked bout. pick one that speaks to you especially and focus on it in the coming week. Look for ways to improve your marriage, making one small change, each day this week. Then let me know how you do!

FEEDBACK

I am still looking for questions for a fun new project I am working on related to the podcast. What do you want to know? About my life, my work, my opinions,? Ask me anything! You can leave questions here or email me any time. Thank you! If you have a moment, please fill out this brief form to share your opinion about Girlfriends. Don’t be shy! It’s anonymous, and your feedback is so helpful to me!

Thank you, as always, for being here. Your encouragement and support of Girlfriends means so much and I am so grateful for your presence here. God bless your week!

Links for this episode:
Subscribe to Girlfriends in iTunes
Subscribe to Girlfriends in Stitcher
About Danielle Bean
Danielle’s Books on Amazon
Catholic Digest
Subscribe to the Danielle Bean newsletter

Jeannie Ewing
Jeannie’s websites:
From Grief to Grace
Love Alone Creates
Jeannie’s blog

Some Places I Will Be!
March 29-31 NCEA convention in San Diego
April 9: Living in Truth, Kansas City Catholic Women’s Conference
April 16: Our Lady’s Luncheon, Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, Waterbury, CT

Contact:
Email Danielle Bean
Rate and Review Girlfriends in iTunes
Leave voice feedback
Girlfriends on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Twitter
Danielle Bean on Instagram

TO LISTEN
Simply hit “play” above!
or subscribe in iTunes
or subscribe in Stitcher

NOTES

This week, we are talking about the Communion of Saints, the power of friendships, and how to help those we love when they suffer.

Sarah Reinhard shares some touching feedback about how she supports a family member through a time of terrible loss and we talk about small ways to show love, friendship, and support to those who are suffering, even if we can’t “fix” every problem they face.

In this week’s interview, I talk with Michele Faehnle, co-author of Divine Mercy for Moms: Sharing the Lessons of St. Faustina. Michele shares her struggles and triumphs as a mom and as new author, as well as ways she seeks balance between family and work opportunities. She also describes some special ways that you can participate in works of mercy, even if you are a busy woman with many responsibilities.

This week’s Girlfriends Shout-out goes to Christine Vecko who wrote to share about fighting the good fight of potty training. Keep it up, Christine! You (and Bryce) will triumph in the end! I guarantee it.

This week’s challenge is to think about your relationships and friendships with other women in your life and resolve to approach one of these relationships with a new commitment to giving. So often we are self-seeking in our relationships with others and it’s friendship-feeding when we can focus on the other and meeting the needs of the other first and foremost. Let me know how you do!

FEEDBACK
I want to thank listeners Tracye1, Beckysuem, and MariaMurph for leaving reviews on iTunes this week. It is so helpful to have those reviews and so encouraging to me as I produce the podcast each week. If you can spare a moment to leave an iTunes review, I would be so grateful. Also, please be sure to rate and subscribe while you are there. It really helps me get the word out about Girlfriends.

Listener Deanna left some voicemail with information and pronunciation help about the San Damiano crucifix I mentioned on the show 2 weeks ago. See her comments and links here. Also, Melissa left a message asking for resources and links and ideas about blended families. She would love to improve her relationship with her stepsons and I know she is not alone in facing this challenge. Send me your ideas and I can put them together in a future show.

And finally, I asked you to please send me your questions for afun new project I am working on related to the podcast. What do you want to know? About my ife, my work, my opinions,? Ask me anything! You can leave questions here or email me any time. Thank you! If you have a moment, please fill out this brief form to share your opinion about Girlfriends. Don’t be shy! It’s anonymous, and your feedback is so helpful to me!

Thank you, as always, for being here. Your encouragement and support of Girlfriends means so much and I am so grateful for your presence here. God bless your week!

Links for this episode:
Subscribe to Girlfriends in iTunes
Subscribe to Girlfriends in Stitcher
About Danielle Bean
Danielle’s Books on Amazon
Catholic Digest
Subscribe to the Danielle Bean newsletter

Michele Faehnle
Michele’s book, Divine Mercy for Moms: Sharing the Lessons of St. Faustina
About Michele and her co-author Emily Jaminet
Mercy Jar project with labels
Divine Mercy for Moms book trailer

Some Places I Will Be!
March 29-31 NCEA convention in San Diego
April 9: Living in Truth, Kansas City Catholic Women’s Conference
April 16: Our Lady’s Luncheon, Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, Waterbury, CT

Contact:
Email Danielle Bean
Rate and Review Girlfriends in iTunes
Leave voice feedback
Girlfriends on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Twitter
Danielle Bean on Instagram

My husband is a teacher. I am a writer. We homeschool. You might think it would be reasonable to expect to find a pencil in our household.

But don’t be silly.

Most weekdays in the Bean home begin with a mad search for writing implements of any kind.

My response to our chronic pencil deprivation is cyclic. I endure it until one day (usually after scribbling a phone message onto the gas bill with a fluorescent highlighter) I can stand it no longer. I make an emergency trip to Staples where I buy a case of yellow No. 2 pencils and throw in a few jumbo-packs of ballpoint pens for good measure.

I bring these home and put them into circulation. For a short while, it works.

Dozens of pencils sit, sharpened and ready, in a glass jar on the kitchen counter. I find pencils whenever I need them and even sometimes when I don’t – in the toddler’s pillowcase and in the refrigerator, nestled next to the mayonnaise.

Within a day or two, though, the house begins its pencil absorption. Supplies dwindle until eventually, I find myself right back in the miserable place where I started – where finding even a miniature nub with which to scratch out a grocery list requires a belly-slither through the dust bunny farm beneath the boys’ bunk beds.

And don’t get me started about scissors. Or tape. Or rulers for that matter.

The other day, my nine-year-old daughter Juliette’s schoolwork required the use of a ruler.

“Can’t find one!” she announced gleefully as she slammed closed the school cabinet and readied herself to move on to other things.

Unfortunately for her, I happened to know that there were at least three rulers in that cabinet less than a week ago. I knew this because I was the one who put them there – neatly on the top shelf, next to a new package of pencils.

I checked. Of course the rulers were no longer there. And neither were the pencils. There were sports cards and old gum wrappers. There were plastic pink rosaries and dried out markers. But no rulers. And no pencils.

These are the little things – like ancient water torture – that wear away at a mother’s psyche. Tiny drops of annoyance add up and threaten to send us straight through to insanity. When the nice young men with white coats finally come screeching up my driveway to straitjacket me and carry me away, I am pretty sure I will be mumbling something about invisible rulers, walking pencils, and disappearing scissors.

After years of suffering these kinds of annoyances, I have come to feel a great sense of solidarity with my father. When my eight siblings and I were growing up, he kept secret stashes of pens, pencils, lined paper, index cards, scotch tape, and super glue squirreled away in locked cabinets and dresser drawers. I am not sure even my mother was privy to his treasure’s exact location.

My father has accomplished many admirable things in his lifetime. He is a father of nine, a philosopher, an author, and a college professor. But one of his achievements that I have come to admire most is this: He chained a pair of scissors to a wall in the kitchen.

I distinctly remember being frustrated by the lack of mobility I got with those scissors as a child. It was hard to maneuver my way through elaborate poster board projects without being hampered by the chain.

Our childish complaints, however, fell on deaf ears. We could always find the scissors when we needed them, right? What were we whining about?

In an effort to preserve my own sanity the other day, I told Juliette that failure was not an option. We were going to look for a ruler until we found one.

And find one we did. We retrieved a blue plastic baby toy ruler from the musty bottom of the toy box. It rattles when you shake it. But it is a 6-inch ruler.

Juliette used it for her math work and left it on the table. After the kids finished their schoolwork and left the room, I examined the toy ruler more closely. I noticed that it happened to have a rather convenient-looking hole in one side.

So now, I am looking for a chain.

This is an old column of mine that originally appeared at Inside Catholic.

TO LISTEN
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NOTES

In this week’s abbreviated version of Girlfriends, I share with you notes from my sick bed, as I have been suffering from the FLU this past week, and am still not fully recovered. Along with some silly observations, I do want to remind us all of the importance of praying for those who are chronically ill. Also, it is important to remember the power of “offering up” even our small sufferings and sacrifices, uniting them with the suffering of Jesus, so that they become infinitely worthy in God’s eyes, and powerful in our own life.

In this week’s interview, we talk with Maria Johnson. Maria shares humbly and beautifully from her experience as a teacher and mom for many years. She is such a voice of peace, empowerment, and wisdom, I just know anxious, young moms are going to cling to her every word. And speaking of words, you don’t want to miss the bad one she makes me say, or the “insider” information she shares about her buddy, Pope Francis.

Links for this episode:
Subscribe to Girlfriends in iTunes
Subscribe to Girlfriends in Stitcher
About Danielle Bean
Danielle’s Books on Amazon
Catholic Digest
Subscribe to the Danielle Bean newsletter

Maria Johnson
Maria’s website
Maria’s book, My Badass Book of Saints: Courageous Women Who Showed Me How to Live
Maria on Twitter
All about Maria’s selfie with Pope Francis!

Some Places I Will Be!
March 29-31 NCEA convention in San Diego
April 9: Living in Truth, Kansas City Catholic Women’s Conference
April 16: Our Lady’s Luncheon, Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, Waterbury, CT

Contact:
Email Danielle Bean
Rate and Review Girlfriends in iTunes
Leave voice feedback
Girlfriends on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Twitter
Danielle Bean on Instagram

I really should stop reading magazines. That might be an odd thing for a magazine editor to say, but it’s true that certain kinds of periodicals are bad for my self esteem.

Take that popular homemaking magazine, for example. What’s it called? Better Homes Than Yours, I think.

I browse through its slick pages, squint at the glossy photos, and search in vain for a sign of peanut butter fingerprints on the glass doors, sippy cups tucked beneath couch cushions, or last week’s fraction worksheets piled on top of living room end tables.

No such luck.

I saw a young family’s home featured in one recent issue. The husband and wife were pictured with their two small children. All of them were seated on a spotless, glowing white couch. A white couch! I squinted long and hard at that photo and came up with the only logical explanation – that the children were plastic props.

It was in one of these fantasy magazines that I happened upon an article about making grown-up bedroom spaces special. A “relaxing oasis,” I think were the words used to describe the ideal grown-up bedroom.

“Keep it clean, keep it quiet, and keep it yours,” the article urged me.

Pillows, candles, and quiet music… it sounded perfectly fabulous. How nice it would be to retreat to an adults-only oasis at the end of each day!

One thing the fancy magazine didn’t mention, though, was what to do if you happen to share your oasis with a two-year-old boy, his clothes dresser, and a basketful of his favorite Tonka trucks. It neglected to mention the problem of a grown-up bedroom being the only room with a lock where older kids can hide to play an undisturbed game from casinodames.com, or sort stacks of precious sports cards during the day. And what about the fact that a soft, high bed with fluffy pillows happens to be the ideal spot for little girls to organize dolly naptimes?

I try to fight it, but it’s no use. By bedtime each day, our grown-up bedroom has been infiltrated. Since we’ve been watching 24, Dan and I jokingly refer to the pint-sized invaders of our bedroom space as the “hostiles.” Really, though, it’s just the kids. And their stuff.

When I finally stumble my way toward the relaxing oasis these days, I usually need to clear a path through a pile of plastic princess shoes, dolly blankies, stacks of story books, and Tupperware containers filled with sports cards before I find the bed. Surprisingly, however, I don’t really resent the invasion.

Before I had children, I used to worry sometimes that I wouldn’t make a good mother. The kind of constant self-giving love that I saw in other mothers felt foreign to me, and I thought I might be too selfish to do the same.

What I didn’t know then, though, was that children take the love they need. By their very existence, they claim it. Parental generosity is something that develops naturally from having children who, with or without our permission, work their way into our hearts, into our lives, and into our personal spaces.

When I entered my oasis last night, after kicking my way past a pile of Playmobil pirates and a partially completed wooden puzzle, I noticed a folded piece of paper perched upon my pillow.

Inside I found a pencil drawing of a small girl with an extra large bow in her hair. Beside the small girl was a mother figure in a full-length glamour gown. Their stick figure arms stretched toward each other, eager to embrace, as a smiling sun shone down on them approvingly.

“WEE LOVE EACH UDDER,” was scrawled in the sky above, and five-year-old Gabby’s unmistakable signature was in the bottom corner of the page.

I don’t need an oasis; I’ve got oceans.

We parents might not always love our children perfectly, but most of us do a pretty decent job of it most days. I don’t think, though, that we can take much credit for the ways in which we become more generous and loving as a result of having children. It just happens. It’s part of the gift of grace that is family life, and its source is the source of all grace. It’s God.

It’s all part of a Divine plan. Our children force us to abandon selfishness simply by laying claim to what is rightfully theirs – which is everything we’ve got.

(This is an old column of mine that originally appeared at Inside Catholic.)

TO LISTEN
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NOTES

This week, we are talking about ways to use the power of your words positively. I share three different ideas:

1) Use your words to encourage and affirm.
Words have the power to build others up in encouraging ways. Do we do that often enough? Look for ways to compliment and affirm and encourage others in your home, your family, and even strangers you might meet. The power of positive words can last a lifetime!

2) Use your words to ask for what you want.
Sometimes we don’t realize the importance of speaking clearly about what we want and need. We do not have to be whiny or demanding, but directly speaking to loved ones and co-workers about your feelings, wants, and needs is so much more productive than hinting or (worse!) being passive aggressive or gossiping with others about your problems.

3) Use your words to teach and share.
We do this every day with our children, but are there ways you could do a better job sharing your perspective with your family and teaching your kids what it’s like to be a wife and/or mom? Additionally, are there ways that you could share the truth with others or stand up for what’s right in your family, workplace, or among friends?

In this week’s interview, we talk with Simcha Fisher. Simcha shares beautifully, and with her usual sense of humor, about some of the ways she has triumphed in her motherhood and lessons she has learned from writing online.

This week’s Girlfriends Shout-out goes to Sarah Reinhard, a past guest here on Girlfriends, who recently accepted a new position as senior marketing specialist at Kennedy Brownrigg Group, a communications company that focuses on the Catholic market. We are so happy for you and wish you the best of luck in your new adventure, Sarah!

This week’s challenge is to think about the three ways of using words positively we talked about: to encourage and affirm, to ask for what you want, and to teach and share. Choose one where you think you have room for improvement in your life and and make an effort to step outside of your comfort zone and USE YOUR WORDS!

FEEDBACK
I want to thank listeners MrsShawn and MistyMornings for leaving reviews on iTunes this week. It is so helpful to have those reviews and so encouraging to me as I produce the podcast each week. If you can spare a moment to leave an iTunes review, I would be so grateful. Also, please be sure to rate and subscribe while you are there. It really helps me get the word out about Girlfriends.

I received some negative feedback this past week about the guests on Girlfriends as well as the segment transitions I use to introduce the segments on Girlfriends, and I would love to know what YOU think. If you have a moment, please fill out this brief form to share your opinion about Girlfriends. Don’t be shy! It’s anonymous, and your feedback is so helpful to me!

Thank you, as always, for being here. Your encouragement and support of Girlfriends means so much and I am so grateful for your presence here. God bless your week!

Links for this episode:
Subscribe to Girlfriends in iTunes
Subscribe to Girlfriends in Stitcher
About Danielle Bean
Danielle’s Books on Amazon
Catholic Digest
Subscribe to the Danielle Bean newsletter

Simcha Fisher
Simcha’s blog on Aleteia
Simcha’s blog on National Catholic Register
Simcha’s book, The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning
Simcha on Facebook
Simcha on Twitter

Some Places I Will Be!
March 29-31 NCEA convention in San Diego
April 9: Living in Truth, Kansas City Catholic Women’s Conference
April 16: Our Lady’s Luncheon, Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, Waterbury, CT

Contact:
Email Danielle Bean
Rate and Review Girlfriends in iTunes
Leave voice feedback
Girlfriends on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Facebook
Danielle Bean on Twitter
Danielle Bean on Instagram