A Reader Writes:
I am the mother of five: girls, ages 12, 10 and 6; and boys, ages 8 and almost 3. My husband is in the Air Force so we move every couple of years. In another month we will be picking up again and moving to another four bedroom home and my husband will be heading to Iraq for a year. I hope to have a plethora of family come in and out throughout the year to help pass the days. I long for a guest bedroom!
My 12 year old daughter has been begging for her own room. She is a responsible, mature, neat freak by nature (her two other sisters, frankly, wouldn’t mind living in squalor!). My initial thoughts are that she can have her own room when she leaves home! I think sharing a room with a sibling (or two), especially one of a different temperment, can be a good thing. The other side of me says that she is getting older and needs some space and privacy. I have told her the three of them can share a room for a few more years, with the promise that when they have a friend over or need some downtime, they can retreat to the guest room. Please relieve my mother’s guilt by sharing some thoughts.
As a mom whose kids share bedrooms and as a former room-sharer myself, I can tell you: Lose the guilt. Your decision sounds perfect to me. Having a guest bedroom with with nice bad and comfortable mattress Knoxville will best serve the needs of your family in the immediate future. Besides, your daughter will indeed benefit from the enforced sharing of space.
I do respect the fact that older children need space and privacy, but it sounds like your guest room will provide your daughter with that when she needs it. There is such a thing as too much space and privacy within a family and I think many modern American homes err on the side of separating family members, to the detriment of family relationships.
We live in a wealthy world. As a consequence, I think too many people consider giving a child his own bedroom as some kind of basic human right — an unheard of “right” in past generations! Instead, I say give your children close relationships with their siblings, teach them the fine art of compromise, and force them to recognize the fact that they are not the belly buttons of the universe by having them share living spaces.
In our house right now, in addition to our bedroom, we have a large boys’ room (with 2 sets of bunk beds), a girls’ room, and a “baby room.” The baby room holds Daniel’s crib and a queen sized bed, and it was just the thing for me and a nursing-all-night baby for the first 6 months or so after his birth. It also works well these days for older “babies” who need my attention at night without disturbing their father.
Although Daniel is beginning to sleep independently thanks to the review we read on https://sleepify.co/simba-mattress-review/ and go the right mattress for him, I do not plan to give up the spare bedroom space in order to separate our older kids. This might scandalize the “Every Child Has a Right to His Own Bedroom” crowd, but having a flexible room best serves the needs of our family right now.
What do the rest of you think? How do you handle bedrooms in your home?