A Reader Writes:
Do you or your readers have any thoughts or advice on how to “naturally” wean a nursing child? What I mean is, if you already have a conviction of baby-led nursing but you also don’t mind “encouraging” weaning during the 2nd year (and not cold turkey)? I just assumed my baby would wean himself some time after his first birthday, but it’s 2 months post birthday and he still wants nothing to do with it. Is there any useful tactic for encouraging the cup? My pediatrician said the longer I wait to wean, the less he will be willing to wean. So he prefers I do it now if I’m going to. Is this true?
I don’t know the stats on later weaning, but it’s been my experience that for some babies, baby-led weaning means nursing will end at 9 months or so when he discovers the joy of a sippy cup and finds more interesting things to do. For others, baby-led weaning means nursing will end … no sooner than the third grade. That is, if their moms didn’t encourage it a bit.
For mothers who are inclined to encourage an older baby’s weaning, I think Dr. Sears’ advice of “Don’t offer, Don’t refuse” is a gentle way to begin. Offer plenty of cup drinks and hydrating snacks throughout the day, but don’t offer nursing unless it’s the baby’s idea.
Personally speaking, my Daniel does more biting and slapping than nursing these days, so I have been practicing this kind of “encouragement” with him for over a week now. The spans of time between his nursing sessions have been gradually increasing. I am sure in the near future they will stop altogether, hopefully with no cold turkey, no crying fits, and no mastitis.
Now let’s hear from all you nursing moms out there … Share your weaning wisdom and experience!
I had a great deal of difficulty nursing my first two children and thay bottlefed early on.I worked very hard to nurse the next time and when my last child came along I wanted it to truly be her idea to wean and so she nursed when she wanted to. I went back to work when she was less than a year and she simply nursed when I was there and took a cup when I was not.She was just over 4 years old when she weaned. There were pumpkins on the balconey and she looked from the pumpkins to the breast and back, gently pulled down my top and that was the last time.There were no tears from either of us. It was a beautiful bond between Mother and Child while it lasted and although there was pressure and criticism from others to wean I am glad I did not succomb. My advice is let your baby lead but know that anything other than breastfeeding at whatever age is starting the process of weaning and just like walking and talking it will happen sooner or later as the baby wishes it.Oh and my daughter is a lovely 21 year old now who remembers nursing and loves babies and hopes to have her own one day.
To Sheila,
Your post brought tears to my eyes. That was so beautifully put!!!!
Thank You!!
The biggest thing I think that helped with my first son was after he turned 1 I stopped nursing him down for his naps. I simply changed his nap routine to reading some books and setting him in his crib for a nap. That simple step led to decreased nursing in general and finally, one night,(six months later) he just didn’t want to nurse.
I do have to say, though, that nursing is beautiful in theory and, for some, in practice. But if you are feeling like you need to wean your child, then you really should do it, using whatever method works for you and your child.
I know there are people that love the whole tandem nursing thing. If I were to do it, the stress of trying to nurse more than one would shoot my nerves clean through. I used to think that Dr. Sears was God’s gift to parents. Now I see that he’s just a nice guy with another parenting theory. I felt guilty when I realized that I was just not cut out for attachment parenting. Now I realize that God gave me these children to be raised by this mom and this dad the best way we can. I would be a horrible AP mom. But I’m a pretty good Me Mom.
I did baby led weaning with my first (girl) – she still hadn’t at 3+ years. She was weaned along with my 2nd (boy) (who was about 1 1/2 at the time) because I had to be on an antibiotic for 2 months that I couldn’t nurse with. She didn’t take it too bad because I could explain some by then why she couldn’t nurse. My son had some rough days, but got used to it – try not putting the baby in a cradled position in your arms. He had also been on a bottle early on for a couple months because I had serious medical problems and was on meds I couldn’t nurse with. He also had to take a bottle here and there for a few days at a time when I had MRI’s (contrast dye).
My 3rd (boy) was different than both. After 6-8 months or so when he was eating solids, he still nursed and wanted to, but he wasn’t dependent on it to fall asleep, and wouldn’t be in hysterics if I went out. He was eventually "encouraged" slightly to wean after a year, but before a 1 1/2 (not because we had a time frame set, just because he was ready). Mostly we just didn’t offer it. He easily transitioned because he already wasn’t dependent on it anymore. I don’t have any specific advice, but those have been my experiences so far.