First, the voice report. Not much of one today, but hugging my babies doesn’t require any talking, so I won’t complain. Enforced Silence feels very Lenten anyway.
Next, the illness report. We are on the mend.
Thank you, Alexander Fleming, discoverer of penicillin. Why does it not surprise me to learn that he was the seventh of eight children?
And finally, the hero report. I simply must brag to you all about what I did. You see, yesterday at Denver International Airport, I did my part to defeat terrorism. You are going to be so impressed. Doing “my part” consisted of the following:
1. Smiling when a nice young man stamped my boarding pass with a fat red stamp and told me I had been selected for the “special” security line. Wheee!
2. Smiling when I got my turn to walk through the “special” line’s special machines, some of which beeped, others of which blew air up my shirt.
3. Smiling and nodding in amused agreement when two security officers told me to have a seat and sternly admonished me not to shout or reach toward any of my possessions as they rifled through my carry on bag.
4. Smiling still as the same officers completely dismantled my carry on bag and rubbed its inner lining with some kind of magic wand.
5. Continuing to smile as they spilled my note cards onto the table, shuffled through them, and then shoved them randomly back into the bag.
6. Smiling still harder as they emptied the contents of my makeup case, held my mascara up to the light, and rubbed their fingers over my compact face powder.
7. Holding myself back from saying, “Are you people serious?” as they rubbed their magic wand along the inner lining of my makeup case and then inserted their “findings” into some kind of a James Bond machine for analysis.
8. Smiling my hardest and saying “thank you” when after twenty minutes, I “passed.” They handed me back my sorry bag and wished me a safe flight.
Just doing my part to defend freedom and democracy. You’re welcome, America.