And so He just can’t let me go unpunished for my smug wondering about what on earth other women were complaining about during their third trimesters. You see, with most of my previous pregnancies, I actually had the audacity to tell people I felt fabulous right through till the end. It really was true, though. I would have gladly suffered through two of those kinds of third trimesters in place of the nauseous horrors of a first trimester any day.
To illustrate the point: When I was almost due with my fifth, I remember 5 year old Eamon attempting to do a cartwheel on the front lawn. I tried to talk him through the steps, but he wound up frustrated and confused. Only my husband’s wide-eyed disbelief and gasping “Don’t you dare!” prevented oh-so-pregnant me from personally demonstrating the art of the cartwheel for my gang of eager children.
But that was then. This is now. I only recently commenced my third trimester this time around and let’s just say that I am not exactly turning cartwheels around here. In fact, my pain has a name: Sciatica. And then there’s the equally crippling but less exotic-sounding pregnancy-related hip pain.
This unhappy turn of events has opened me up to a whole new set of sins: I envy people who can walk upright effortlessly. I covet little old ladies’ walkers. I greedily horde all the pillows in the house and demand ¾ of the bed space in order to ensure I get a proper night’s rest. I give way to pride in my remarkable accomplishment when I manage to throw together eggs and toast for my family’s breakfast while standing on one leg at the kitchen stove before collapsing on the couch for the next two hours. Which brings us to the sloth thing.
All I can say is thank goodness I can do the important stuff like reading, writing, smooching the baby, and delegating, delegating, delegating, without ever once having to get up off my rear end. Oh and complaining, of course. That requires very little upright physical effort.
Misery loves company, and so I am opening this up to comments. Tell me your pregnant horror stories. Tell me that acupuncture, yoga, or your sister-in-law’s homemade elixir cured you from all of the above-mentioned ailments, and I’ll give it a try. In the meantime, I’ll be on the couch.
Oh Danielle, I wish I had a magic elixir…childbirth???!!! I guess I’ve had both. I remember the pain in the lower back, down the leg and the hip pain and the needing 3/4 of the bed to rest and barely being able to feed the family and sitting in the recliner with my feet up and a fan blowing on me…sheesh. Just keep your eyes on the prize!! Because when you are holding that precious new baby you WILL forget all the ouchies. At least I do. God bless you and your family!! You and your writing are such a blessing to many of us!
Dear Danielle–I am a 92-year-old religious of the Religious Teachers Filippini, a teaching Sisterhood. I read your column in JOY NOTES and am always amazed and humbled by your acceptance of God’s Will for you and your husband. May our gracious and loving and compassionate Lord give you the strength and health you need at this time and may the baby within you grow to be someone really special for the entire world. Health, joy, peace–Sr. Filomena
Danielle,
I know it is hard right now. Hang in there. God doesn’t give us more then we can handle. At least I hope for that. Be thankful you are in your last trimester. I am only 10 weeks and am already on bed rest. Which is some what of a joke since this is my ninth. Trying to deal with kids , the house and praying all the while that this little one will make it. The good news is that my complication appears to be getting better, Thank God.
I’m with you on the couch! I’m 33 weeks pregnant with twins and Oh! the hip pain – it radiates down to my knee. I had this with one of my other babies and as soon as he was born it ended. What a relief! But it’s too early yet for the little babies to arrive. I just keep telling myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Try not to feel bad/guilty as you delegate from the couch – you are doing an important work: gestating! Hang in there! And God BLess!
I had terrible back pain with my 2nd and I used a rice pack – very easy to make too. Just use plain long grain rice – not Minute rice, although I haven’t tried that. Put in a cloth package of sorts and heat in microwave. You can also use dried corn, although then it smells like popcorn. They both hold heat quite a while, and I’d say it’s even better than a heating pad since you can make it lumpy to fit wherever you need it to.
Danielle,
I know you know this already, but all is forgotten once you are holding that beautfiul gift from God! I just had my 4th one month ago and my last trimester was awful, the worst yet! (Is it our age? I’m 36 1/2 now) Just walking from the sandbox to the deck left me breathless. Each step I took was painful, don’t ask me what, back pain? Having to go potty pain? Just being big pain? My legs rubbing together rash pain? My large breasts rubbing on my large belly rash pain? Not being able to touch my feet pain? Just going to the bathroom pain? Not having a lap for my 20 month old pain? It gets better, she has forgotten that for a few months, she could not sit on my lap, now she loves to claim it again! After the baby was born, looking at all her perfect body parts, even the smallest, her little toe, her wrinkles in her neck, it is just all so amazing. Live like AA people do, One day at a time! I would just pray for God to help me make it through each day, lots to offer up! The sleepless nights of constantly going to the bathroom, just prepare us for once that baby is there and not sleeping (at all)! Hang in there, lots of people are praying for you!
Try this: Get down on hands and knees (I know, sounds impossible) and arch your back as much as you can, hold it for a few seconds, then release, sagging your back. Do in sets of 10 or 20. It does seem to help, at least it did me. It rocks the baby off of the spine and nerves, and opens the spine up. Also, swimming/floating in a pool is good — do you have access to one? (Kiddie pools don’t count — you need to float!) God bless!
I have had hip pain during my pregnancies and after. If it is joint pain, try Grape Seed Extract. I’m usually more apt to try regular medicine, but a doctor recommended this and it worked great for me. He told me to take about 500 mg (10 of the tablets I have) for a few days and then how ever much I needed to keep in managable. It acts as an anti-inflamatory (sp?). I had hip pain for 5 months after my first was born and this fixed the problem in a matter of 1 week. It is natural and safe while pregnant or breastfeeding according to my doctor. I rely on this whenever that hip pain hits.
Hi Danielle,
I’m so sorry that you are in pain! I had some sciatica pain during my 3rd & 4th pregnancies and what helped the most was my chiropractor. Get thee to a Chiropractor!!! That huge body pillow from the Company Store was also clutch.
God bless you! I’m from a family of eight – 4 boys & 4 girls. It was lots of fun growing up with all those siblings!
Jennifer
Only one sure-fire way of curing these unfortaunate ailments. Delivery.
Hang in there!!!
42 weeks pregnant and still no end in sight, really – does that count?
Blessings to all of you!
I’m due to deliver on July 17. I am with you in spirit. For me this has been a remarkably blessed pregnancy. I complained all through my other pregnancies. I thought that I was supposed to with everyone asking me constantly "how are you feeling?" I aggravated my problems by giving in to psychotic nesting impulses, like moving a baby grand piano across the room (by myself)so that I could fix a buckle in a 10′ by 20′ rug. It HAD TO BE DONE
Danielle,
I am 37 weeks and I started seeing a chiropractor about 1 month ago due to groin pain. I had this same thing with my previous pregnancy and I knew when it started this time around that I had to do something! I feel sooo much better. I still have some pain at night when trying to roll over or get out of bed (think of a whale….), but I am able to function during the day almost pain free. I sought out a chiropractor that had experience with pregnant women on this site, http://www.icpa4kids.com I was a little skeptical about going, but I am glad I did. May God continue to bless you through the rest of your pregnancy!
I am at 39 weeks! Here are things I have been pondering during my last days: 1) When someone says “how do you feel?”…should you sadistically tell them? 2)After 5 kids…is this reality? It is a blessing–yes—yet is it reality? 3) Is it easier to keep track of kids in-utero or out? 4)Will I sleep more or less after the baby is born? 5)Can this nursing bra make it through another “series” or should I try to break another one in! 6)When someone says…”call any time”…. are you ever tempted to? 7) When someone sees you in the store and says “haven’t you had that baby yet?”….are you ever tempted to say “yes!”? 8)When you are getting out the storage container labeled “new baby misc”, is it normal to have a different standard of clean than you did for your first two babies? 9) Is is normal to wonder where the months/weeks went, yet you know you also wished them away when you were miserable? LASTLY I ponder… 10) How does my heart not burst with the love I feel for all my babies….no matter how many times a day I have to scold.
Just pondering what others ponder………..
There’s something wrong with taking up 3/4 of the bed space and using all the pillows in the house (with the exception of one pillow for each child of pillow using age…and sometimes letting your hubby have one pillow, too?)
I’m just at 20 weeks right now, but I got to relate to many of your morning sickness posts…and I know that I’ll probably have hip and nerve pains before too long (particularly since my 2 year old likes to stand behind me on the couch and dig her knees right where it will hurt the most…)
Enjoy the couch! Enjoy the fact that you have kiddos old enough to delegate to! (I’m really looking forward to that in the future!) And, I figure, you have the right to complain if you want to…as it is one of the few things you can currently do comfortably!
To help you, dear one, get you a stool and sit down for each activity by sink, stove or table. My mother taught me that and she had six children, I had five and a major hip injury as well. Learned to sit whenever possible and it has paid off here in my late years, just for fun I am 80 so do a lot of the jobs around my place "sitting". Best of everything for you in this last trimester.
Love, Sarah
Ask around for a reccommendation for a good chiropractor. I visit one often and it helped alot with my pre and post pregnancy backaches. My daughter who is 4 months pregnant came down for a visit recently. She also has been suffering from back pain. I took her to our family chiropractor for an adjustment and she felt better immediately.
My sciatica pain went away with vitamin B complex injections (reccomended by my doctor, of course). I had three (one each second day) and I felt great. No problems for my son (he´s 9 now). But if you don’t want to take anything (vitamin B isn´t really a medicine), a friend told me she would have massages and felt better. Hope you find something that can help you.
This is a learning experience for your children—-delegate!! You are there to direct, encourage, and teach. There is a reason it is summer and no school lessons—- God knows what he is doing!!!!
Been there. I feel your pain. Several pregnancies ago I wanted to cry w/ relief when I finally went to a chiropractor and he acknowledged my pain and told me how he was going to fix it – no it didn’t have to be a ‘normal’ part of pregnancy that I had to just live with. And then this past pregnancy I ended up with much less of that and think some of the stretches (sitting and stretching to my toes) every day must have helped. Get help from a chiropractor or a good physical therapist!
i think a chiropracter could really help, so that is probably great advice (a very good friend of mine who just had baby #5 usually sees one during her pregnancy for her back pain) (side note she also gave me great advice for future pregnancies between pregnancies exercise exercise exercise i personally hate to exercise but she has had hard pregnancies but she said 5 was actually her easiest because she did curves before hand and just generally felt in better shape…..) well, enough of the practical advice, if it were me i would just try to enjoy the couch time and having a good excuse for it!!! there will be plenty of time later for never having time to sit down, for now God is saying, RELAX get it in now while you can! ENJOY, (as much as possible if not too too painful) GOOD LUCK.
Swimming is heavenly! Do whatever you can to find a pool big enough to float in, you’ll feel "not pregnant" again, and be rejuvenated for the rest of the day.
Whew – I have had quite a few back issues throughout my 12 pregnancies. I have a lower back injury from sliding that I received after my fifth baby. By the time I was pregnant with my 8th – the last week I was hospitilized because I had to crawl on my hands and knees to get to the bathroom – the only place I left the bed for. Then I found a chiropractor.
My chiropractor uses an instrument called an activator (I think) and it is an adjustable instrument that gently taps the misaligned parts of y our body (ie spine) back into shape. He even realigned my jaw for which I had had pain in for over 15 years. I am still painfree today in my jam and can eat raw carrots and apples again.
With the last baby, the alignments I had received during the previous baby carried me through the pregnancy. I still had a lot of pain – that we all expect and it was difficult to get about but nothing like with my th baby. SO a chirpraactor can work miracles!!!
My one horror story with my last pregnancy was that she was transverse (lying across my tummy) so her fit were up agianst one hip and her head cradled in the other hip. At about 8 months gestations – she deicded to try and stretch – of course while I was out shopping… and BANG – she pushed my hip out of place and I had to walk back to the car by swinging my leg out in a circular motion. I must have looked really strange. Thought I would need to see the Chiro for sure but overnight things slid back into place and Elsa did not try stretching like that again.
So if you can find a chiro and in the meantime – keep delegating. As my older children would always say to me – we can clean but we can’t grow the baby so sit down and grow the baby while we tidy up.
I had the same thing with my last two pregnancies – UGH! Anyway, I went to a chiropractor and he did some adjustment thingie (not a technical term in case someone decides to go in and try to request it…) and recommended some stretches. As long as I did the stretches every day I was much better! If I skipped a day I started to feel thirty years older!
I’ll say some extra prayers for you!
Dear Danielle, I had sciatica and a friend whom I will bless forever taught me a simple exercise. Sit on the edge of the bed, rest the foot of the affected leg on your other knee and lean forward and down. (I know, not a fun position, but I was bigger than you’ll ever be.) You’ll feel the pull in your hip–in my case, it always solved it. I would even get up and do it in the middle of the night if it was bothering me. God bless you!
Bless your heart! My mom went through the same thing with my younger brother. Hang in there, you’ll make it! I am saying a prayer for you now!
I’ve always admired people who glow and enjoy their pregnancies. For me it starts out feeling like I have the flu and goes downhill from there.
I just pray for perseverance and grit my teeth and count the blessed days until delivery- with scheduled c-sections that is a big plus!
Ack, I had sciatica too…please let us know if you find something that works!
Sister Filomena…hmmm…my little brother had a Sister Filomena at his preschool he adored. This was about 20+ years ago, when we lived in Virginia. Coincidence? 🙂
Pax,
Melanie
I realized our mattress was too firm after waking up for days on end with my whole arm asleep from sleeping on my side. A king-sized plush top cured that. I get sciatica and back spasms too – usually post-partum. Chiropractic care never really helped me, but magnesium and B6 along with strectching and core strengthening exercises seem to keep it under control. Hang in there!
Dear Danielle,
I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and sciatica. I have been having Acupuncture for 1 1/2 years and now have one treatment each month. I am much better than I have ever been and in much less pain. It really does work and there are no side effects. Just make sure that the Acupuncturist is certified and has passed the National Boards. I enjoy reading about your family and discovered you through Sister Patricia.
May God continue to bless you and your wonderful family!
I will add another cheer for the chiropractor. Get there quick! That is the only thing that has given me relief, pregnant or not. When I was pregnant with my 5th, I received weekly adjustments, and was able to get around really well right up until the end. In fact the day I went into labor was a Sunday, and I was having a backache. I told my husband I needed to see the chiropractor first thing in the morning. Well, needless to say, I had a new baby son first thing in the morning LOL.
I’ll say a prayer you feel better soon Danielle.
I can sympathize with the Sciatica. I had that during my son’s pregnancy and it would wake me up from a sound sleep. I have a cure for it… Childbirth. It went away as soon as I gave birth to him. Sorry, I don’t have any more wisdom but you can lie around watching music videos from the 80’s to pass the time. Great link from your sister!!! (I graduated high school in 1985) Best wishes, Danielle and I will pray for an uneventful 3rd trimester.
I had horrible back and hip pain during the FIRST trimester of my third pregnancy. I simply could not imagine suffering like that for the entire pregnancy. My chiropractor helped a little but the pain was finally relieved when my uterus lifted up off the nerve it was apparently sitting on. I have always seen a chiropractor regularly during preganacies and it usually gives me some relief. No, you can’t lay on your tummy for an adjustment late in pregnancy, but a good chiro can work around that. Hope you get to feeling better soon! Oh, and I had excruciating gallbladder attacks during my third pregnancy and would take DAYS of labor over just one of those attacks anyday. So while you are whining (and feel free to whine!) maybe you could say a prayer of thanksgiving that you don’t have gallbladder attacks.
I am part way through my 2nd trimester and this child is no stranger to follow in the footsteps of her 8 siblings who loved the sciatic nerve/pregnancy hip pain position.
Just this morning, no kidding I was offering up my pain for someone, anyone, so my pain was not in vain. I even asked God to give me someone specific this time and have embarked on cleaning the fridge…..well I’ll take my cue from hearing of your suffering, offer up my pains and pray you get some relief! God be with you!
Maureen
Oh my, does this bring "back" memories. (Sorry, bad pun.)
3rd trimester, 2nd pregnancy: we’d moved into our first home the previous year and I excitedly sponge-painted a heart and star border around the walls of the nursery. Said border was about 4′ from the floor ~ perfect eye-level height when I dropped down on one knee. That meant 100+ "genuflections" all in one afternoon. I went to bed exhausted and thrilled with my accomplishment only to wake up in the middle of the night with my whole torso in spasm each time I moved a fraction of an inch!! Of course, being pregnant, shortly after discovering that if I remained perfectly still the pain was held at bay…I had to pee. Sweet husband brought the wastebasket to the side of the bed for me to use. He also had to cancel a business trip the next day.
After a couple of days in bed, managing to crawl to the bathroom like some kind of deformed spider, a warm bath worked a miracle in easing the strain. I had to be very careful throughout the rest of the pregnancy. Regular massages & spinal adjustments helped. To this day, 16 years later, my lower back occasionally reminds me of this incident; I even had to visit a physical therapist a few years ago.
God is good; He walked with me through the pain and gave me an amazing baby boy to love and cherish.
I have just recently discovered your site–thanks Meghan! And I love it! One thing that helped my back pain was sitting on one of those big excercise balls. When I was on the computer, doing laundry, pretty much all of the time. It put just enough pressure in the just the right places that it worked awesome! I had the sciatic pain so bad with my 3rd child sometimes as I started walking it just hit–all down my back and one leg and I literally fell down. My dear sweet hubby said it was comical, not because I was in pain, but because he said that it looked like I had just gotten shot. Men! LOL! My pain wasn’t as bad with my last 3 children, but we’ll see what number 7 brings…..ahh. the joys of pregnancy!!! Hang in there!
I’m a grandmother now but I was able to be near my daughter with both of her pregnancies. She had sciatica in the last trimester with her first and in the 2nd trimester with
her last. Confusing?. Anyhow she experienced great relief with a massage ( or pregnancy massage)done by a licensed therapist. It relieved the pressure on the sciatic nerve and had a good outcome. Both boys weighed over 8.5lbs when they were born so ,of course, that also was a great relief when it was over! :-). I wish you the very best.
I just had #6 four months ago, and although I had horrible back pain for the first 5, sciatica didn’t strike until this time. OUCH!!!
I recommend a chiropractor that uses that little device someone else mentioned (Activator Adjustment Instrument). My chiropractor also uses a special table that has a "trap door" for your pregnant belly. Very nice.
If you can get a one-hour massage, I recommend it at least once during your pregnancy, or at least right after. It is so relaxing!
One doctor I saw during my 2nd pregnancy (not a chiropractor, but he used some chiropractic techniques)taught me some stretches that relieved some of my pain. 1) Lie on your back (I did it on my bed), and bring your knees up to your chest (or as close as you can get them). Then pull your knees with your right hand over to your right side for a count of 3. Bring them up to your chest again for a count of three, and then to your left for a count of three. Repeat as necessary. 2)Squeeze a ball between your knees for 10 seconds at a time (about the size of a small volleyball – I didn’t have one so my husband held my knees slightly apart). 3)Finally, have your husband hold your knees together while you try to push them apart in rounds of 10 seconds.
I hope you can find some relief!
I used physical therapy which seemed to help…I was able to walk some of the time. I had to be careful of lifting or carrying as many times my hip would give out and I would be on the ground. I had it happen in church and had to drag by body back to the pew using the aisle pews. Afterwards I had two different elderly gentlemen come up and ask me what had happened. Just an old war injury!
I was absolutely amazed that it was miraculously healed after delivery. I wonder what my pregnant body will be like in my 30’s?!
Ooh. I sympathize too. I do have a tendency toward hip botherments too (sleeping on my side is majorly uncomfortable on the firm mattress my husband talked me into a number of years ago on the theory that it would wear well – I’ve long since repented that concept – wearing out would be blessing!). We do keep a smaller, more comfortable mattress on the floor of our room and I sleep there when I need to. Sciatica is nasty. I’ve had it twice, but the worst was when we moved, three weeks before our youngest (now 2 1/2 was born). If I tried to even unpack a box (like unload a box of books onto some bookshelves without even moving the box), I had to lie down flat for an hour to recuperate. It eased up a bit by my due date, and I had never been so grateful that our children are usually two weeks past due date so that I could settle in some before our adorable Munchie Man was born. 🙂
I don’t have any horror stories, but Congratulations on the baby and your anniversary!
I am 10 days away from my 5th c-section. About 2 months ago I bought one of those cushy mattress foam pads from Costco (2.5 inches thick) It made a huge difference, though I am sad to say that its not helping much now. I am trying to be grateful that I have such a small suffering to offer up to our Lord. At least I know the date of the Big Day too!
God Bless, SQ
Hi Danielle,
It can help to stretch out the muscles surrounding the nerve. When you’re on the couch or your bed, you can scoot close to the edge while on your side, and hang your upper leg (of the sore hip) over, and stretch your leg toward the floor. It can really help if you can have someone do firm effleurage (constant sweep of the hands alternating as they smooth your muscles)from your buttocks toward your upper thigh. That should help you out until you can get to a chiropractor. Make sure you can find one with specific training in pregnancy. These things have been most effective for my students and clients. Prayers and Best Wishes! Karen, childbirth educator, doula and midwifery student
I had awful sciatica with my 2nd baby. I didn’t have any relief until after delivery, which is when I discovered WHY I had sciatica — he was 10 lbs, 4 oz. Ouch. My 3rd was 8lbs 7 oz, needless to say I had no sciatica. But, good luck, and maybe it’s just a really BIG boy.
To get a little more comfort sleeping on a hard mattress, if you have any kind of feather quilt..fold it in three parts and lay on top of it on the mattress.
I have a daughter with Fibromyalgia and when she needs to lie down I do the quilt for her and she just loves the comfort it gives her. Good luck. I have six children and know what you feel like. Cathey
One thing that really, really helped my hip pain during pregnancy was counterpressure. Get one of your husband’s undershirts or T-shirts. Wad it up very tightly. Sit on it, right where the pain is worst. This sounds really silly, but it does work. I used to keep a T-shirt in my car and sit on it while I drove.
i’m only 20 weeks, and my hip pain has been intermittent, but i can completely agree with the women who recommended a chiropractor, especially one who uses the activator method.
if you are looking for one in your area, try http://www.activator.com, it’ll show you a list of doctors… there really isn’t anything else that offers as much relief. i do have to say, i’m a bit biased, since my dad is my activator doc, but i really wish i got to see him (read: get adjusted) more than every couple of months!!