My husband Dan is a Yankee. Not the New York kind, mind you- he’s a die-hard Red Sox fan. No, Dan is a born and bred in New Hampshire kind of Yankee. This means he actually believes things like “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” is suspicious of modern technology, and absolutely disdains spending money on anything he didn’t make, design, grow, or build himself.
Which leads us to my dilemma: How to convince this old Yankee that my current dial-up internet connection is inadequate, unreliable, and too slow, and that we simply MUST get a DSL connection?
“What?” he laughs. “Why should we spend money every month to get you something that you already have?”
I need help here. Maybe we could start a campaign to convince him of the importance and legitimacy of my request. Send him an email!… Oh, except he doesn’t have an account. Call his cell phone!… But of course, he doesn’t have one. Call him at home!… Except the number is unlisted, we have no machine, and he never answers the thing anyway.
I’m beginning to think that he only way to get through to this guy is to follow him out to where he’s working on the addition to our house, grab hold of his hammer midswing, make eye-contact, and say, “I need DSL.”
But then, he would only say that he’s thinking the money would be better spent on installing a hand pump connected to our well and a solid granite sink in the addition so that we can access water in cases of emergency. Geeesh… A Yankee sure knows how to make an old-fashioned, simple, country kind of girl feel like a spoiled and worldly woman!