Baseball season is officially over. Unending practices in the wind and rain–Over. Games that go on into darkness–Done. Even a post-season barbecue gathering at the coach’s house and awards ceremony–Finished.
To commemorate this momentous accomplishment, this morning I decided to venture into forbidding territory I cleaned out the diaper bag. So that the rest of you can feel oh-so-superior about the immaculate state of your family’s going-out gear, I will share with you what I found:
? Three pounds of rocks, dried-out pieces of vegetation, pinecones and other “treasures” collected from various wooded areas near baseball fields.
? Five used and thoroughly squished juice boxes, three empty–two not quite.
? One unused juice box, thoroughly squished and leaking.
? One pulverized package of peanut butter crackers.
? A dried?up wad of baby wipes used (I think) to clean post-lollipop faces.
? One prehistoric-looking diaper, tightly wrapped.
? One plastic container for holding baby wipes, empty.
? One bag of honey-lemon cough drops, open and filled with sand.
? One golf ball-sized, sticky wad of unidentifiable organic matter.
? Piles of Quickie-Mart receipts for emergency purchases of potato chips, granola bars, cans of soda, candy bars, and other “dinner” items.
? A variety of coins, total sum: $3.12.
? One grime-covered bottle of sanitizing hand lotion, empty.
? Four pacifiers: two blue, one pink, one chewed beyond recognition.
? Half a dozen pieces of baby and toddler clothing, some worn–all in desperate need of laundering.
? And finally, I found exactly NO DIAPERS and NO WIPES.
There. Now don’t you feel good about yourself?