Newbies, here’s what it’s all about.
Good morning, all! What shall we talk about this week?
[tags]catholic families, coffee talk[/tags]
Catholic Writer and Speaker
Newbies, here’s what it’s all about.
Good morning, all! What shall we talk about this week?
[tags]catholic families, coffee talk[/tags]
Liza,
I’ve had three C-sections, too, but my mom had four, and I have an aunt who’s had six! My doctors have always said that there’s no magic number limit–they would let me know if a problem arose, but as long as I had healed well, there was no reason at all to avoid pregnancy. Did you find that yours got easier each time? My recovery was great after the third!
Dani,
Teaching and Preschoolers:
Keep it simple. I used to push more structured learning because they “seemed ready.” Now I see the burn out they have in adolescence.
Try something like the Good Sheppard program listed above. OR We are going to try Catholic Mosaic this year. It uses a gentle approach to teach the liturgical year and Catholic Faith with Catholic children’s books. These could be read aloud with up to 4th grade. (Or older if you do family reading time)
Christ’s Servant,
amber
Wow, so many great topics this morning. I actually have time to participate; no wonder:)
Mops; our favorite has been the Libman Wonder Mop also. I can wash the microfiber refill or buy a new if necessary.
Catechism for preschoolers: Catechisis of The Good Shephard is extremely gentle and wonderful for this age group. I’ve used Image of God also with success/my girls enjoyed the crafts esp. Little Saints Preschool would be great too, but I couldn’t get past all of the prep included; too time consuming for me. One of our favorite resources for just reading material has been the Once Upon A Time Saints books and the books by Rosemarie Gortler and Donna Piscitelli called Little Acts of Grace, Just Like Mary, and there are two more now out. One is about the Mass, and I believe the other focuses on the Eucharist. These are such sweet books, and my girls love them.
Crabby hubby: Mine struggles with this at times. It usually culminates when I haven’t been making him feel important or valued and he is overwhelmed with work. I try to pray for him and not nag(not insinuating that you’re doing this, just our situation). Also, a friend of mine had the same issues with herself and her hubby. She was diagnosed with depression and so was he. They both went on Zoloft or another I can’t remember and it made all of the difference. Something to think about.
Considering C-Sections: Here is an inspiring story for you. I have a friend who had gone through 3 c-sections with three boys. Her scar tissue was thin, and they advised her not to have anymore or it could endanger herself or the baby. This fear stuck with her, she sold all their baby gear and excepted the fact that they wouldn’t ever try again. Well…….fast forward 6 yrs, and they became very devout, were praying a lot; talking to some friends who encouraged them to reconsider etc…. They decided to trust God and go forward. Last Wednesday, another baby boy was born via C-section without any problems. Both are healthy. The Dad, with tears in his eyes told me that the Doctor said, there were no problems and that there was no reason they couldn’t have as many children as they wanted. I nearly cried. :))))
Have a wonderful Tuesday Danielle and all!
Liza – I’ve had two very close c-sections (my children are 2 1/2 and 1 1/2), and when I talked with my OB (not NFP only OB, but at a Catholic hospital) about what I should do next, she said it’s important to give the uterus proper time to heal completely, trying to wait at least two years from the birth of my last child before trying to have Number Three 🙂 She also said in my case she would feel uncomfortable doing more than 4 c-sections. I know the reasons why she said so, and I trust her. That doesn’t mean, though, that she gets to decide the number of my children 🙂
I really think the situation is different for every woman. I don’t want to open a whole discussion with people saying I can and should have as many c-sections as possible 😉 Just kidding 🙂
I have a question that goes along the same line as the mop question.
We have laminate floors & no matter what we use, it seems like they dry cloudy. We’ve used diluted Windex, diluted dish soap, hard wood floor cleaner, Swiffers, diluted vinager, diluted Murphy’s wood soap….does anyone know the magic ingredient?
Do I put too many 🙂 in my posts? 😉
Thank you to everybody who suggested I just use the washing machine to clean stuffed animals. I’ll give it a try, and I hope my very basic, unsophisticated washing machine doesn’t disappoint me!
Liza,
I have had 5 c-sections and I know a woman who has had 7, and I know plenty others who have had 3. The recovery is a little longer each time, but it is doable. At this point my doctor has said that my uterus looks too thin for more babies, but I am happy to share any info that you would like.
Amy
GB,
I am in solidarity with you. Our washing machine was our first major purchase 13 years ago and only 1 cycle still works. Even then, you have to make sure the lid is pushed down hard or it will stop midway. It is the heavy duty cycle that works, so our church dresses are taking a beating, but stuffed animals do fine!
Wow! Lots of good questions/issues. . .I love wasting time here. . .but we only have 3 more days of lessons so I can enjoy, right?
I have an O Mopp from Target. I use it–but find that using their cleaner with a rag, on my hands and knees, does the best job–and it’s better exercise too!
I too have friends who have had 5-6 c-sections–don’t worry!
I LOVE “The Temperment God Gave You”. My husband is a melancholic also– and I am sanguine/choleric. It really helped me to meditate on the parts of his personallity that balance mine–the reasons God brought us together. I read parts of the book to DH–he’s not a big “self-help” reader–but is willing to listen. We both have a sense of humour about our strengths and weaknesses now.
Also–a good spiritual director is worth a LOT–as is a good men’s bible study/catholic study group. My best advice–don’t take it personally! Don’t try to solve his problems. Just say things like “Yeah–that’s hard.” Give him a hug and move on. I too can get VERY FRUSTRATED with negative–man. Hang in there–you are not alone!
About age/adoption–I heard a priest on the radio saying that if you havn’t gone through menopause you can still adopt. Even if you have, you can adopt if the children will be in a much better situation with you. That said–adoption is a calling, and you both need to be on board. Pray with and for your husband about this issue and door will open as they should. Also–don;t make more chidren an idol that distracts you fro the blessings of the children you have (not that it seemed like you were. . .just saying 🙂 ).
About College bound immodest girl–offer her your laundry facilities and you WILL see her–maybe ask her to babysit in exchange if you could use it. . .as for the rest–I don’t have good advice except to pray for the opportunity to shar the information you have with her. I tend to put my foot in my mouth by forcing issues like modesty or chastity. But the times I have waited and just prayed for the right time the person eventually (after 6-9 months) asks me THE LEADING QUESTION into the issue. . so much easier to answer a question than to force as issue.
Danielle — this is such a great idea. I always find something interesting every week at Coffee Talk, even when it doesn’t apply to my life.
For Momof some, our parish DOES offer sacraments to children with special needs or handicaps. We’ve even had a little girl who is nonverbal and autistic receive First Communion. Our pastor worked with the family and she had a one-on-one catechist. They did a special penance service for her (since she can’t speak) she receives Communion each week.
We have a program of specific catechist volunteers to work with children who cannot benefit from (or would be distracting in) group religious formation classes. We do not have a parish Catholic school. This program includes kids who have ADD/ADHD through autism and Aspergers. It’s all determined by which children do better with a modified program — just as they are offered at school.
It may be that some children and adults are not able to fully understand the sacraments and some may not need (or benefit from) confession. But I just wanted you to know that some priests do understand that there are ways to offer them in various circumstances. Jesus wouldn’t have blocked anyone because of their limitations or differences!
God bless you all!
didn’t mean to be annonymous up there!
amy v, I laugh every time I see a label with “gentle cycle” on it! I don’t have a gentle cycle! What my machine means by “gentle cycle” is just a short heavy duty one! Go figure… And don’t have me started about my dryer, LOL!
I sent an Email to Danielle, but I know she’s been too busy to answer it.
I’m a lurker of sorts, I enjoy reading the page and sometimes get ideas and laughs, but I don’t post on here. I’m not a Mom or a Dad, I’m only 20, and I’m not married yet.
I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia. I do well on a day to day basis and I try to use my sufferings to feel closer to Christ. That He chose this path for me. I have had the sacrement of Anointint of the sick given to me when I was hospitalized and I experienced it’s miraculous gift.
But I need to reach out for help. I have been having a lot of difficulties lately dealing with the pain and frustration. I’ve began praying on the rosary daily in addition to my usual time of prayer. Are there any prayers you can specifically suggest? I’m not trying to physically feel better but to feel better about carrying this weight with me.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
God Bless.
short napper – have you tried putting her down earlier? naptime AND night time? Sounds like she is already overtired and can’t get into a good restfull sleep.
Chicken breasts – I am in the final weeks of my fourth pregnancy. I have been really unmotivated with cooking. I went to the chicken store and picked up several breasts for the next few weeks. I put 5 pieces in a ziploc bag and just added various seasonings, spices, etc. I didn’t even label what was what. I realize some (recipe followers!) couldn’t do this. But, I just mixed up the bags and put them in the freezer. Now I take one out to thaw and either grill it or bake it early in the day and cut it up to put over salad. Instant, easy summer meal with a variety of flavor… garlic, lemon, soy sauce, honey, etc.
Anyone hear use or has ever used Our Lady of Victory homeschool program? If so, do you like it.
Amanda, you’re in my prayers. Therese too.
Danielle,
I just want to say how much I enjoy the comments you post that Gabby makes. She always makes me laugh–and I suspect keeps all of you laughing, too 🙂
Blessings to you, to her, and to all of the Beans!
Amanda,
I’m sorry to hear of your pain. That is very challenging. I think going to Mass whenever you can would be an excellent prayer.
Does your diocese have an active young adult group? Perhaps making connections with other young adults would help if you are feeling isolated. Sometimes they offer bible studies, social events and other ways to connect and grow spiritually.
Re: the crabby husband:
I think getting out for a date or having a special night together at home on a regular basis would help. Give him time to do hobbies he enjoys. Help him get regular exercise, that helps tremendously with our moods. It could also be that he is battling depression.
Try to be patient and pray for him. Set aside a time once a week where the 2 of you can share honestly about how you are feeling and what is going on in your heart. Bring up your concerns then rather than when he is about to try drive you nuts with a complaint.
Good afternoon! I apologize in advance for going back in time…but have I missed any discussion of David Cook winning American Idol? I know that Danielle was convinced that David A would win so I’m not sure if she’s in mourning over the results and has avoided the topic. I went to post last week but discovered the comments closed and thought about adding to the Lost discussion, but didn’t want to derail the track into another tv show. I for one am thrilled that David Cook won and never quite saw David A’s appeal. Much to my mother’s dismay…she thinks David A is adorable and so talented.
Lindsay,
Perhaps a chicken satay would be good/interesting? Just cut the chicken into strips, thread onto skewers (or just shred the grilled chicken later) and grill with some salt and pepper. The dipping sauce is made with light coconut milk, peanut butter, ginger, garlic, sesame oil, and usually something spicy. Play around with the sauce until you find a combo you like. It’s also good to mix into stir fried veggies and chicken over rice or pasta.
+! My son is 3 1/2 and we plan on homeschooling. Because of his birthday, he wouldn’t start kindergarten until 2010 (that is if he were going to be enrolled in public school or the local Catholic school). My husband wants to start him on a preschool curriculum this year following with kindergarten in 2009 instead of waiting for a year. Any thoughts or suggestions on this would be welcome. Does it matter when we begin kindergarten? Also we are looking into using either Seton, Kolbe, or Catholic Heritage curriculum. If anyone has any insights to these I would appreciate the help.
Anne –
Love the Swiffer Wet Jet.
Jen –
Four years old isn’t too young for formal swimming lessons. That is when my son started and he had a good enough attention span for it at that age. Informally, I started him at two.
Amanda –
I have had chronic pain issues since your age and know that it is difficult to get a handle on/ focus as far as praying. I can’t offer you any specific prayers. For me it has been a matter of asking the Holy Spirit to allow me to pray in a manner most pleasing. Let’s face it pain and even discomfort rob you of focus. The Blessed Mother has been great help too. Having specific “big” issues to offer your suffering and prayers for can give lend a deeper dimension to your prayer. By your post, it is obvious you understand that your offerings to God might have salvific value. Why not pray for a young women that God knows to be most in need of prayer who is your age contemplating what to do about an unplanned pregnancy? Thinking about the emotions and influences, feel the pain not only you experience but link it to that situation (deeply put yourself prayerfully in such a person’s place), then from the depth of your soul begging God to not let a person to be swayed by fear and our pervasive culture of death could be efficacious. If this is too out there for everyone in Beanville – sry, prayer and pain are out there subjects, difficult to concretely talk about. Just the same, you will do well with this Amanda – sorry for your difficulties and pain, but very glad you realize that they can be way for you to help others. Checking out the lives of the saints might help you, too. Many suffered greatly.
As for the chicken issue…
Toss it in the freezer & called out for pizza. 😉
Peace. ~~~mary
Danielle –
By the way, really like the Coffee Talk cup graphic you’re using today. Very nice. Peace. ~~~mary
Haven’t read all the posts but caught something about preschool and schooling…this is one of my favorite “soap boxes.” Read the book “Einstein never used flash cards” and “the Hurried Child” and then make your decision. It saddens me to no end to see my neighbors who do letters and writing practice with their three year old!!! My daughter is 4 and I have NEVER sat down with her and “taught” her letters. Suddenly, she is asking all about them and recognizing them everywhere. It emerged on her own at her own pace and she loves it. (Admittedly, she does hear her hschooled older bros. learning.) As a teacher, aunt and now mother, I have seen too often the result of overschooling too young. That being said, if your child is READY and interested, take it slowly and keep it fun and light. My just 5 y.o. has been begging all year for more “school work” during our homeschool day. I finally pulled out a Kgarden religion book and started him on math games with dice, cards, etc. and call it Kindergarten even though it is not officially the curriculum we use. He is thrilled, busy, challenged but not (in my opinion) overly structured or scheduled with these lessons. Amen – I know, this is my “issue.”
Preschool should be fun… bubbles, coloring saints and parables, painting a large box with different colors, baking with Mom, etc.
Amy~
I was homeschooled using mostly Our Lady of Victory for K-12. Like most other programs, there are pros and cons. One of the big pros was that my transcripts were acceptable to the State Universities to which I applied. Another thing that I really appreciate is their use of Saxon Math. Unlike most other young college graduates, I still remember most of my high school math. I found their high school religion series extremely good in preparing me to read the documents of Vatican II and the writings of the current pope. My mother appreciated the fact that she could purchase texts and keys and write her own lesson plans, buy lesson plans, or enroll with lesson plans since she saw no point in enrolling or following someone else’s lesson plans for the lower grades.
There are quite a few things that make me think twice about using OLVS for my children. Although they claim to recognize the Pope, most of the people we talked to at the school attended the SSPX church and they tended to ignore the fact that Vatican II happened. They seem to take the position that Catholics should be Creationists. Many of the text books are reprints of 1920-50’s Catholic school texts. In some cases (English, for instance), this is GOOD, but for science and social studies it is not ideal. My high school literature classes were a joke, with something like two books that could count as “classics” in four years. (My sister’s was much better, so I think they have remedied this.) Finally, they seem to need a reminder that the Cold War is over.
Despite its problems, OLVS offered us a lot of flexibility over the years. There is no perfect homeschool program, so I suggest that you study their website and call them/email them with specific questions.
Estate Planning
my husband & I are finally going to try to find a lawyer to set up a wiil/or trust. I feel a little overwhelmed at all this new info. that is foreign to me like all the legal terms and implications. Can anyone offer any advice on being prepared before speaking to a lawyer?
Hello, all! This is my first time posting. Anyone have advice on helping my 6yo little girl adjust to the idea of having a third little brother?
In regards to the scantily clad niece- have no qualms- even at someone else’s house I would consider kindly taking her aside- compare it to someone’s fly being open? 😉
And didn’t Rose Kennedy have eight c-sections?
Amanda- I haven’t had experience with a chronic illness- but have had experience with anxiety and the loss of my first born from SIDS. Fr. Joseph Kentenich (sp) has a prayer I know and love-
“You know the way for me, you know the time, into your hands I trustingly place mine. Your way is perfect, borne of perfect love, you know the way for me, that is enough.” This brings me peace.
Thanks for anyone taking my question on.
Jennifer D,
you might want to check out the book Miseducation: PRESCHOOLERS AT RISK by David Elkind. Might change your mind about doing a formal preschool program, esp. with a child so young. Also, the Better Late Than Never book by Dr. Moore, while a bit older, is by one of the pioneers of homeschooling and offers a good insight on why it is often better to wait to start formal schooling than to start too early.
To Liza,
I’ve had 4 c sections. Our first son, now 7, was 10 lbs 12 oz… yes, read it again, 10.12… and I’m not a big person! Our second son, now almost 5, was 10.10, third son 9.6 and we just had a little girl in February that was 10.2. After the first child we had all planned c sections. The first three went very well, no problems at all, the fourth was a different story. I had a lot of bleeding and was very, very close to needing a transfusion. This caused me to be pretty severely anemic after having her. Also, my uterus wouldn’t contract, I guess it has to start right away while you’re still “opened up” so they had to give me a ton of Pitocin both in the IV and directly into the uterus. My guess is if it wouldn’t contract I may have needed a hysterectomy.
Supposedly the more c sections you have the higher the risk of additional surgery or more bleeding.
Thank God none of my complications became a huge problem. I’m sure you’ll be fine having more c sections, just find a very good doctor.
Good luck.
Monica – Bathtime follow-up
I had asked about help with my 18 month old in the tub a couple of weeks ago.
Thanks to those who shared their ideas! We decided to combine strategies. We switched to the upstairs bathroom which has a heat fan, lots of bubbles and I got in with her. She cried as usual. But someone had suggested waiting it out. After about 8 minutes, she sat down in the water and splashed, with just one finger, but splashed. We didn’t dare wash the hair that night. She will still run for cover when she hears the water running but it’s getting better each time. We’ve tried a little more frequently too and it seems to help. I’m just hoping her sensitive skin can handle it.
I forgot to add that we have used prima latina, latina christianna, and lingua angelica with our children. all from memoria press–seems to be high church episcopal–no conflicts with the faith in the texts at all.–sorry no capitals–one handed typing right now. . .nursing ya know!
my husband is a latin teacher–his only complaint with memoria is that they teach “miki” for “mihi”.
Kari,
My situation is similar to yours. I was married previously and suffered three very painful miscarriages. When my current husband and I were discussing how we would build our family prior to getting married, he said that he would like to try to get pregnant if it wasn’t too hard on me. We tried to get pregnant for a year or so and nothing happened. Our doctor sent him in for fertility testing and it was found that there was something minor affecting his fertility. When we left the doctor’s office I saw this as a sign that God was leading us to adopt. My husband saw it as a sign that we should keep trying. I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to help us with this issue. Shortly thereafter I was laid off and received a very generous severance package. We had to decide if we were going to use this money for fertility treatments or for an adoption.
Well…after much prayer and consideration, we decided to adopt. We are the parents of a beautiful son that was waiting for us in Guatemala. I have NO DOUBT that this was the child God intended for us. I guess the point of this very long story is PRAY!
FYI….I’m a 42 yo mother of a 2 yo and I have NO problems keeping up with him…yet 😉
Good Luck
C-sections: I have had 4 sections in 5 years, and my OB said that I heal well, so I can easily have more. I was also told that problems arise more with the scar tissue and adhesions rather than thinning of the uterus. Talk to a doctor that you trust, because healing is the key here and it varies from person to person.
Starting PreK with an about to turn 4 year old: I am in the same boat! I have a son who will be 4 in October. I am thinking of going ahead with him because he so wants to! He has already worked through any spare Usborne Early Learning Books I had around. Today I caught him with 100 Easy Lessons sounding out the words! I have read Better Late Than Never, et. al. so I have been trying to hold him back, but I think I am ready to give in!
I am going to try Get Ready for the Code, the Golden Step Ahead Math Books, and HWT PreK book. We will also read lots of picture books and use paint, playdoh, etc. If the workbooks end up being too much, we will shelf them until next year. If they do work out, I guess that I will be starting him in Kindergarten in 2009.
Mosquitos – I just read that basic Listerine is supposed to work really well.
Swimming lessons – we started at 4. My son has to repeat the first level again this summer but it was a great intro for him. No sense rushing it but he’s definitely comfortable with the water too.
Lawyer talk – My husband’s a lawyer and one thing to note – try to write down all your questions and don’t be afraid to call again later if you have another one. Just remember that they usually bill in 6 minute increments (or so) so if you call and the answer only takes 1 minute, you are billed for 6. Try to ask a lot to get your money’s worth I guess. But, that’s what you’re paying for too.
My favorite insect repelent is a goop that comes in a jar from the feed store called Crocodile! (http://www.mosquitosolutions.com/crocodile.html) Just a small dap behind each knee and in the crook of each elbow keeps the mosquitoes away.
Amanda: God bless you! Do you have a Book of Christian Prayer or Liturgy of the Hours? The first one is a scaled-down version of the second (1 book vs. 4), and the prayers take you through the day, and day by day through the year. It’s a wonderful way to pray with the Church, so to speak. It can be time-consuming, or you can choose which “set” of prayers to say — I like to get up early and say the morning prayers, for example. There are readings also which often focus on the lives of the saints — many of whom suffered greatly & can lift you on their spiritual sholders! I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Amy: I used OLVS satellite program for grade school a few years ago when I was feeling overwhelmed & unorganized. Overall I think it’s a good program, though I ended up changing too many things. (Beefing up literature, adding to the history, used a different theology program) What I liked best was the variety of material, and the freedom to pick and choose and set my own schedule — I’m very independent! I’d have to say that Alice’s analysis is very accurate, but I love their bookstore and continue to order many of their materials. However, I did end up enrolling my children in Kolbe for HS.
To anonymous at 1:36: Congratulations! I would suggest simply remaining positive: tell her what a great blessing a baby is, tell her how much God loves each and every one of you, tell her how He chose this baby for your family & especially to be her little brother, and ask her to help choose something for the baby — name, special outfit, anything. If you can, plan outings once in a while just for “you girls.” God bless! That’s a beautiful prayer!
Easy Chicken Chili—-I take boneless, skinless breasts and throw them in the crockpot (I think the recipe called for 4; I use 8!); add 1 c. chicken broth, 1 T chili powder, and 1 15 oz. jar salsa (mild, medium, or hot). Let it cook! Before serving, use a fork to shred the chicken. If yours is soupy enough because you used the right amount of breasts, you can have chili in a bowl. Mine is pretty thick, so we usually have it on tortillas as burritos. Everyone loves it, even the ones that don’t like salsa.
Swimming—For my youngest 3 who all learned to swim at 4.5 I used the floaty devices that have a pad in the front and the back. It’s no substitute for vigilance or a real life jacket, but it gives them some confidence to play in the water and not sink. As they learn to tread water and keep their heads up, you can unzip the pads and take out one of the thinner pads (there are about 4 1/4″ pads inside the front and the back). This makes them work a little harder to stay up and you just continue the process until you take it off all together. They all have Jan. birthdays and it worked great. They weren’t learning strokes, but they were learning to play and put their faces in, and they could propel themselves underwater with no problems by the end of the summer. Then, I just put them all on the neighborhood swim team the next summer where they learned the strokes! 🙂
Re: recording of the Rosary in Latin. For years I’ve used the recording John Paul II did, which you can still find used (try Amazon), though sans the Luminous mysteries because it was recorded before JP’s encyclical on the rosary was released. However, if you can wait a little while, Benedict XVI recently recorded all 20 mysteries in Latin for Vatican Radio, and they, too, will be released in CD form soon.
Hi Lady Hatton!
Counting down the days till the end of school like me??? I think it would be wonderful of you to send MPF a card. I think she would really appreciate it.
Did you make it to Metuchen on Saturday?? I was doing work for school. I heard AM was at her best LOL.
To the person who wondered what she could do about her niece dressing inappropriately:
I don’t think there is much you can do except explain to your own children that that kind of dress is not appropriate on a young woman. Just because she dresses like that does not mean she will act inappropriately. I know plenty of girls around here who dress like that, who are very sweet, charming and responsible. Their parents let them dress that way. It’s as simple as that. Maybe you could say something very subtle. You don’t want to make enemies here, remember that. Pray that the right person influences her to dress more conservatively.
Lady Hatton! I forgot to say this:
I will let you get away with that run on sentence this time, but dont’ let it happen again, or I will have to use the grammatical law enforcement on you that is stationed here in Tottenville, which is at the very Southernest tip of Staten Island.
Ha! Ha!
Have a good day! (Should say night, it’s after 5)
Hey, LIZA! I’m just the gal you need to “chat” with! I’ve had 5 (FIVE) c-sections so far and my OB is AN AWESOME PRO-LIFE CATHOLIC DOCTOR! He said he isn’t too concerned about me at this time until I get into double-digit c-sections (10+). I know everyone is different, I have a friend that has 6 c-sections and this last one she had she was so close to a uterine rupture, the doctor didn’t even need a scapel to open her uterus, he used is gloved finger! It is true, the more space you have between your children, the better your uterus can heal back to “normal”.
I would just ask your OB to let you know the condition of your uterus. Also, my doctor closes me up “double” which means he folds it in and stitches it closed and then folds it AGAIN and stitches it again. . .extra reinforecment! 😉 I’m not sure what area you live in, but you might try http://www.onemoresoul.com for a good pro-life doctor near you. My children are 11, 9, almost 8, almost 6 and 2 (we had a miscarriage between the 6 & 2 yo).
I would be more than willing to chat with you via email if you’d like. Maybe Danielle can give us a suggestion on how to connect. 🙂
May God bless you in your openness to life!
My first attempt at posting here on coffee talk…we’ll see how this goes.
Liza–I have had four c-sections, the first unplanned, the next three planned. Numbers 1 and 3 were the hardest on me. Numbers 2 and 4 were very smooth. From my experience, I believe circumstance behind the section, and care received in the hospital make a big difference in recovery after surgery. It sounds like from the responses here today that each person’s case is different, yours included.
Jess–Both of my boys bit at age 1. The oldest is now 12, and the youngest is 2. They both seemed to bite at that age out of frustration, because they couldn’t talk yet, and seemed to bite mostly when they were upset or frustrated about something they couldn’t articulate. Thankfully, they both stopped doing it as they became older and were able to express themselves in a better way. I know it’s maddening, and scary too because you’re afraid of getting bit. I don’t have a magic answer to stopping the biting, just firmness in stressing “No”. Hang in there!
Amanda–I think by coming here today you did a wonderful thing! Reaching out to others in your time of need helps so much because you don’t have to carry on alone. I will add you to my prayers!
Liza, I have a friend who had 6 c-sections. If you will e-mail me privately I’ll put you in touch with her.
monalisa3773 at yahoo dot com
“They seem to take the position that Catholics should be Creationists.” [Alice @ 1:25pm]
Ummm…how can you be Catholic and not believe God created the world?
Michelle in MO, I have my own c-section question for you. How does a doctor check to see the condition of your uterus? I don’t have on OB, so maybe that sounds like a silly question to ask. I still have pain in my uterus and my last section was 2 years ago. I wonder if anyone else experiences this?
To Married to a Crab:
I put up with that for a few years. What helped was:
1. Me going on a retreat for a whole week, while he watched the kids.
2. Going to a marriage counselor WITH him for a few sessions. He did not know how unhappy I was. Ultimately what happened was, he wound up in therapy for 2 years. He went weekly.
3. Seeing a therapist myself. This is what has kept me sane all these years. And an added benefit is that I feel much better about myself.
4. Communicate!!!!
My husband is still far from perfect but had an eye opening experience in therapy, under protest of course. God Bless you, and I will pray for you.
I am a traditional Catholic and a scientist. I do not believe in Creationism, but I do believe that God created the world and everything in it. I do not, however, believe that it was done in six days (as we conceive of days). Creationists are generally defined as taking the creation story literally and not believing in evolution at all.
MaryB,
Thanks for the link to the website. I have a question about the Latin version of the Hail Mary. I know it as it is written on the page “Ave Maria, gratia plena.” However, the recorded recitation changes it to “Ave Maria, plena gratia.” Do you (or anyone else) know why?
Thanks all for a great coffee break today.
Pm- Thank you for your kind words. I keep trying to go to Mass, but I actually have trouble even getting myself to college during the year, and work. But I do think I will look into a youth group.
Mary- What you said brought tears to my eyes. I appreciate the understanding more than you know. It’s very distracting to be praying on the rosary and trying to take in the mysteries and have to move. Praying for others does sound like it could help. My best friend had a baby at 14 but I stayed beside her and it has lead her to a better life and relationship with God. I know that’s straying off topic a little bit. I’ve been dealing with these health problems for 4 years now. It was actually caused by birth control pills! I hope young women my age think deeply before making that decision. I have never had sex, I had no intentions of it until marriage, but it was needed because of the problems I was having with my periods. I underwent surgery later on because of it, and I’m still on the pills. I live in fear that I won’t be able to naturally have children. But that is something a lot of people don’t know, that lupus and other diseases can lay dormant until beginning the pill. I understand more now than I did then, but I have no choice to stay on it, or they will have to more surgeries that will prevent child bearing. I don’t mean to bring anyone that reads this to feeling sad, but it’s something that not enough know about.
crazymama- I do have the book of Christian prayers! And a couple of daily bibles, as well as a women’s bible. My mom frequently sits me and my little sister down all together (it’s just the 3 of us, and thankfully it has allowed her to show my sister the hope of Jesus) and we pray as a family.
Re: the developmentally handicapped at Mass….a couple of churches in my area have “Holy Innocents” programs–one for school-age and one for adults. This takes place weekly. It’s a wonderful resource and everyone is welcome to attend the Mass.
Re: preschool. My 2 older children attended preschool. My second child, in fact, attended preschool for 2 years (a couple of half-days per week). She was just ready to go to school. My youngest, though, did not attend a formal program. We took him to the local high school’s “Child Care” class a few times a week for just over an hour. They had enough time for story, a song, a craft and playtime with the toys. He’s finishing kindergarten tomorrow and is reading on a 3rd-grade level, and is also ahead of the game in math. I was told by a kindergarten teacher that not sending him to a “real” preschool would hold him back. Obviously not so! Don’t sweat it. The preschool years are for enjoying books with Mom, Dad & older siblings, if any; learning to ride a tricycle, jump, catch a ball, blow bubbles, dig; making crafts and learning to be a good little helper at home.
Re: Latin…The word order in Latin is not as important as it is in English, as the endings of most words change as their role in the sentence changes. “gratia plena” and “plena gratia” both translate “full of grace.”
Condition of the uterus. . . .I’m not a doctor so I can’t answer medically, but I do know my doctor has notes typed up in my file from after every c-section. He has never written anything in my file on the poor condition of my uterus (ie., thinning). In fact, it’s the complete opposite. He said I have a very strong, healthy, thick uterus. (I know, maybe TMI!;) ) One of my girlfriends, on the other hand, has a VERY thin uterus and while it is healthy not pregnant, it is not healthy pregnant. I have MANY friends that have c-sections (I know, that doesn’t sound very good, but they all have good reasons for them) and I actually do have a friend that had pain after her first c-section and I know the pain continued through the next pregnancy, but I never did ask her if she still has the pain (she has 4 children now and has gone VBAC). Yet, another friend, has had 13 c-sections and did have a uterine rupture on the last two and ended up with a hysterectomy after the last one.
Hope this information helps some of you, but like what has been said many times before “everyone is different and you should really consult your doctor”.
God Bless!