Newbies, here’s what it’s all about.
Good morning, all! What shall we talk about this week?
[tags]catholic families, coffee talk[/tags]
Catholic Writer and Speaker
Newbies, here’s what it’s all about.
Good morning, all! What shall we talk about this week?
[tags]catholic families, coffee talk[/tags]
Here is one of my favorite chicken recipes:
Chicken Rollups
Slightly flatten out a boneless breast, sprinkle any type of seasoning on it (I use Adobo Seasoning), sprinkle a few bread crumbs on it, put a stick of cheese across it (I use whatever I have, usually it is cheddar that I’ve cut into pieces about an inch all around). Then roll up the chicken breat around the cheese. Wrap a piece of bacon around the outside (this helps it hold together) and secure it with toothpicks.
Bake at 350 for 25 to 30 minutes. Delish!
Dani –
I highly recommend the Pre-K4J program that you can get on http://www.catholickidsnet.com It’s a monthly packet that’s sent to your child with a lesson. My children really absorb the lesson!
-Beachlover
Thanks to Michelle for sharing all she did with me. This was my first time here today, and it’s been good for me. Behind my questions lay a lot of fear and questions. It helped me today to read through the various words of so many who have had similar experiences.
I think that is why this coffee talk is so good, because we need to be able to connect, to share, and have the support of others.
Thanks to Danielle for starting it up, and to everyone who comes here on Tuesdays! I’ll be back again. (We home school too, so summer gives me more time to spend here! 🙂
Re: crabbiness
Any chance hubby has sleep apnea? If so, talk with your doctor about a sleep study.
Anne~
As Ashlyn said, the term Creationist almost always refers to someone who takes Genesis literally and believes that God created the world in 6 days. Catholics are required to believe that God is the Creator of the world, but we are not required to take one of the two Genesis accounts of Creation literally.
Re: Crabby hubby:
Perhaps he should have his thyroid checked (it’s a simple blood test). It’s not as common in men as in women, but some men do have hypothyroidism (body doesn’t produce enough thyroid stimulating hormone). My brother-in-law became very depressed, which could lead to crabbiness; turned out it was his thyroid. He takes some medication every day (synthetic hormone with no side effects… well, except positive ones) and he’s fine now. Just a thought.
Thanks for all the helpful suggestions and prayer! We’ll certainly look into your helpful ideas. The therapy had been somewhat helpful; it’s just expensive! I think encouraging exercise and a spiritual director may be helpful as well as some of the medical things we can look into and how I approach him/deal with his negativity as well. I’d hate for it to rub on our happy, beautiful little children.
A couple people mentioned antidepressants had been helpful. He had actually been on Paxil for a while for anxiety/depression. It did help with the anger, but then there were night sweats, weight gain, low libido, and getting off of the Paxil, which he describes as the scariest experience of his life. The doctor’s recommendation for weaning from it left him so agitated he put his fist through our window. That’s when the second Catholic therapist came in and urged a much more gradual reduction in the Paxil. In a nutshell, I think he’d like to avoid antidepressants completely short of a dire need for them.
Thanks again!
I simply must chime in about mops. My house is all wood floors and tiles. Really. No carpet. And I am absolutely in love with my Bona mop. You can wet mop with water only and get beautiful results. You can dry mop with just the microfiber mop head and get beautiful results. And the cover goes through the wash and comes clean like magic.
It’s a little bit embarrassing, but am in love with this thing.
We have been using Mother of Divine Grace with our two preschoolers. I have been very happy with it, and we just go at our own pace. My daughter (5.5) loves to read bible stories and then illustrate what we’ve read. My 3 (almost 4) yr old son has been listening along to our reading program and he sounds out letters and words with us! The key to ‘doing school’ at this age is having fun. The formal part (reading and math) takes less than 30 minutes and the rest of the day we spend playing, doing chores, they help me bake, coloring and reading great classical books. They are only young once, and I love this gentle introduction to school and that they both love “school” and love to learn. I highly recommend the MODG program and book lists. It was founded by Laura Berquist.
The issue about the autistic boy and Mass brings to mind an issue going on in our school community. On the grounds of our parish school is a building, a former convent, that is vacant. For income and safety reasons, it is necessary for the parish to rent this building.
After over a year of looking for a suitable renter, the parish has agreed to rent the building to a well-known organization who will use the building and grounds as a 24/7 school/institution for young adults (high-school age to 21) with Asperger’s syndrome. There is some discord brewing because many parents are concerned about the proximity of the school to this building (they will share a border and the buildings can’t be more than 20 to 30 feet apart in my estimation). I am unknowledgeable about Asperger’s, and I am trying to balance Christian charity with my children’s safety during the hours they are in school, apart from me.
I hope I do not offend anybody…I want to be informed before I take a position. I was hoping that one of you intelligent, Catholic ladies would be able to give me some insight, and possibly your opinion.
So, with the Bona Mop do you never use any cleaner? CAN you use cleaner with it? It almost sounds like one of those “too good to be true” things.
Are the Asperger children going to be living there? if they are under 21 they will be in school all day, maybe the older ones will be going out to job training or something.
Asperger people are generally not violent. They are not psychotic. Their brains are wired differently and they have trouble with the nonverbal social and emotional cues most of us take for granted. Many of them have never received “appropriate” education and consequently they end up depressed, un- or under-employed and a burden on the community. In recent years more communities have recognized the need for appropriate programs for people on the Autism spectrum, which includes Asperger Syndrome.
MOst people with Aspergers are considered “high functioning”: they are of average or above-average intellilgence, they are verbal and in most cases can live independently, to some extent.
Yes there can be occasional inappropriate comments or behaviors. So are there with “normal” teens. I am curious to know what organization is running this. I wish we had something like that here.
I think it would behoove the school/parish community to have some kind of meeting with the renters and an open house so all parties can meet and see what the program involves. I think this could be a wonderful opportunity for everyone.
For more information about adults and adolescents with AS please visit grasp.org
hope this helps.
Library Books – I know I’m posting late, but hope some of you are still checking in. After being fed up with my children bringing home inappropriate books from their Catholic grade school library, I have gotten permission from the school council, and have set up a Library Committee to audit the library book by book. I have a group of wonderful volunteers, with solid Catholic values to help me. This is going to be a long process as there are 100s of books. Can anyone give me a name of any series you know to be just wonderful or just awful to help us begin narrowing down the selections?
A couple of parents and teachers have brought up the Junie B. Jones books – both for and against. Any thoughts there? How about Judy Blume? For these it’s not so much bad language as it is an overall attitude.
Thanks a bunch!
Thank you all for responding to me! My mom is in town and my husband has been working on the computer all day and so I was not able to check responses and respond myself sooner.
Just for the record I have consulted with 5 different doctors but just wanted some personal stories so I did not feel so alone. I am in a huge and wonderful Catholic playgroup but only one other mother has had c-sections.
Jess- when my daughter was born my son was 15 months old and I remember he used to just walk up and bite me for no reason. He did it often and it drove me crazy! The problem just went away after a few months. I can’t say I did anything magical. That is such a wonderful age but because you can’t really discipline just redirect it is hard to really know what to do!
lp- My first recovery was amazing, my second was tough and this last one has been great. I think with my 2nd my 1st child being so young I carried him too early and it hindered my recovery. My children were 3.5 and 2.5 with this last one and I was super careful and I think it made a big difference. I also wanted to V-bac with #2 but she was breach and I had an infection of the amniotic fluid so I was especially dissapointed and had other issues. #3 was planned so I think that helped.
GB- I know what you mean. I read a very beautiful book but part of it went on and on about having a baby at all costs no matter what even if your crippled your children will thank you etc and it was too much for me!! I would love to have a HUGE family but have to accept that it may not be in God’s plan for me. My husband and I both have always wanted to adopt and so I think that might be part of the plan. BTW I love smiley faces in posts…I tend to overuse exclamation points.
LisaMarie and Michelle- Thank you! I will be in touch!
Kari-My husband’s mother adopted a three year old girl and two year old boy when she was 50 and her husband was 60. He has 5 children from a first marriage and was happily retired but she really wanted more children and the Lord really answered her prayers! They are a very happy family and both children especially the now 9 yr old girl speak often of a Religious vocation!!
I can’t wait to try the new mops you all raved about. I have 2000 square feet of white tile. My yard does not have sod so it’s an acre of weeds and dirt and you can only imagine what two toddlers and two dogs can do in that scenario!! I feel like I am always cleaning the floor!!
I love my shark steamer type of mop—I need to buy a few more pads for it, but I have a few children that are highly allergic to fragrance and soaps so this “water into steam” machine works well for us!
I have a great friend who has had 6 C-sections and 6 children…..her last one included a tummy tuck….
To married to a crab: It’s true, therapy is expensive, but worth the sacrifice in order to have peace of mind. Be thankful that your husband doesn’t drink. That is what mine does to ease his anxiety.
God Bless you!
Regarding Aspergers, etc.,
I think that educating the parish about the program that is coming is a wonderful idea. With anything on the autism spectrum, the behaviors look weird, but generally aren’t dangerous. As Mary Ellen Barrett said, “My son has autism. Weird is what we do.”
Also, as someone posted above, a lot of pro-life folks look at Down Syndrome as the Cadillac of disabilities, as in, “oh, I don’t need the prenatal testing; I wouldn’t mind having a Down Syndrome child!” Well, that ain’t necessarily what you get :-). I’m not advocating prenatal testing here, I’m just saying there are many other disabilites out there, from mild to wow. And it’s easy to forget that, especially when their behavior is weird.
I simply know that my daughter, while being a blessing in and of herself, has blessed so many others among our family and friends. So having a autism-type group next to your school could be quite a blessing.
Please don’t read any of what I am saying as defensiveness. Families of children with disabilities have a different perspective than those who don’t. You don’t know it until you live it. I know; I’ve been on both sides. 😉
about the Creation/evolution topic…
I always thought that as Catholics, we believe the Bible with the Church as Interpreter. I have never seen any Church teaching that God did not create the world as described in Genesis, and certainly not that man “evolved” instead of being descended from Adam and Eve – as described in Genesis. Can you tell me where I can look this up? Thanks! 🙂
To all of you who replied regarding the Asperger’s school (and yes, the children/young adults will be living there): THANK YOU! I appreciate it so much. You are angels to take the time to write.
Hi Lindy,
Yes, I’m still reading the posts! God bless you for your hard work in cleaning out the library! A very noble service indeed. Just a quick note on Judy Blume books. I read several of them back in the 70s when I was in grade school. And now in my adult life, I truly regret reading them. There is much more than just bad attitudes in them . . . several of the books have sexually explicit material in them. I’m thinking of the books “Are you there God its me Margaret,” and “Forever”. (Maybe I’m not remembering right on the first one, but the Forever book is definitely not a good one.)
Good literature is SO important in forming the minds of our children. I commend you for protecting their innocent souls! Blessings!
Anne,
My 9th grade daughter took a biology course from a Protestant Evangelical teacher, so this topic of Creationism hits home. Many Protestants believe that there is only one way to understand the creation of the world: that is, that God created the world in six 24 hour days. The Catholic Church teaches that one CAN believe in the 24 hour day theory, or one can choose to believe in a broader perspective. Look it up at http://www.catholic.com. That’s what I did when I was trying to help my daughter understand what the Church teaches as opposed to those who take the literal “Creationist” approach. I have several articles that I printed out from there, and I learned so much about what the Church teaches on evolution! If you want me to look them up for you, you can email me at familymon@earthlink.net, and I’ll send you a link to each of the articles.
I don’t agree with some of the comments about the 13 year old autistic boy. I think the parish should really make a big effort for that family and if he is disruptive so what. I have an autistic daughter of my own who indulges in self injury and understand how families with disabled teenagers can become very isolated and rejected by their so called faith community. What really amuses me is that Catholics tend to be some fo th worst offenders in these cases yet are anti abortion hence many Catholic families are the ones with the rejected disabled kids.
Having a large teenager with soc called “challenging ” behavior is hard enough on the family with out the parish being so useless about the whole thing. If I were in their shoes, I would have bought in the antidiscrimanation board myself,
Dannielle – Thanks for the mop recommendation! We’re gradually going no-carpet here and the swiffer just isn’t cutting it as far as we’re concerned.
Lindy
surely you have a school librarian to choose the books for your school library usually with a small often non existent budget do this. As a librarian myself I think parents should only censor what their own children are reading not what other kids read. What is inappropriate for one family does not cause concern in another and each family has to make up their own minds on this issue like all the others that confront parents. My son in year 2 has bought home some books I did not think were suitable and I just told the school librarian I woudl quietly return what I did not want him reading. I don not think I would want other parents deciding for us as a family was was suitable or not.
Library Books – I know I’m posting late, but hope some of you are still checking in. After being fed up with my children bringing home inappropriate books from their Catholic grade school library, I have gotten permission from the school council, and have set up a Library Committee to audit the library book by book. I have a group of wonderful volunteers, with solid Catholic values to help me. This is going to be a long process as there are 100s of books. Can anyone give me a name of any series you know to be just wonderful or just awful to help us begin narrowing down the selections?
As a member of a family whose family was turned upside down by the “inappropriate behavior” of the head of the household, I deeply appreciated the kindness and compassion of others. I think a card expressing your love and support is very appropriate. Also, depending on the severity of the situation and the family, food, babysitting, or financial support can be very helpful as well. We recieved every kind of help imaginable – legal services, babysitting, tuition for school, people helping take care of Christmas shopping, etc. I know our family would not have survived – financially or emotionally – the last several years without the generousity of our parish and friends.
It can be difficult to know how to approach someone, but I urge you to do so in a tactful, gentle way. Often times when these type of circumstances hit a family, it is very isolating. No one wants to hurt you or say the wrong thing, so no one says anything. Prayers from a distance are important, but so are prayers together.
Re library books. I agree with Lindy, it’s really up to the parents to screen what their children read. My 3rd grade daughter attends a public school and goes to the library once a week. I have her bring the books she’s chosen to me right after school. Only once did I disapprove of a teeny-bobber magazine. We spoke at length about why I thought it was a bad use of time. (Specifically, for anyone who’s interested, there was a study done that indicated that women’s self-confidence decreases after reading a women’s magazine (girl’s too).
I think the issue for the original poster is that the library to which she refers is in a Catholic school, and one would hope that the books would be of a higher caliber and certainly not be ones that would provide a problem to one’s developing faith. My friend, a devout Catholic mom reviews juvenile literature from a Catholic perspective and posts at the following site. Some of you mind find it helpful.
http://www.catholicbookreview.blogspot.com
I just wanted to quickly second the steam mop.
I’ve been struggling with our floors for the two + years we have lived in this house (we have about 1000 of our 1500 sq ft that are tile or pergo). To complicate things more, our pergo floor was put in by the previous owner, and there are several gaps, so my hubby has never wanted me to use very wet cleaning methods on it for fear of rotting the floor.
I recently got a steam mop (bought it off QVC, not sure of the brand name off hand, but it was under $80 shipped with 7 mop heads included) and it works so well on our floors! I just vaccum the whole house to pick up chunks, then steam mop all the hard floors…no cleaners necessary, and it gets up stuff that I had a hard time getting up with a regular mop (as far as regular mops go, I do like the Libman as well)
At our old house, we had carpet everywhere except our galley kitchen, upstairs bathroom, and about 4 sq. ft by the back door. Swiffer products worked great for that small amount of area, but when you have a lot of hard floors, the swiffer thing gets expensive (I had to use about 4 swiffer wets to clean our floors when we first moved in here!)
Regarding the library books available at schools:
When my two oldest children were attending our parish school, they went to the school library once a week and were not allowed to bring the books home! I found out after a few months that my first grade son was reading all the “Captain Underpants” books he could find. I read one of these books and was appalled! There was no way for me to keep him from checking these out and reading them, other than telling him not to and hoping he obeyed (which I believe he did). Of course, he then began reading the “Dumb Bunny” books, which I found to be appropriately titled. Those, too, made my no-read list simply because I believe there are so many better books out there that I’d rather my children read.
The teachers and librarian thought my husband and I were the strangest people they’d ever met since “no one else has ever complained about this” — even though every other school mom I talked to about this agreed with me. And then there was the Scholastic Book Fair that came into the school (with selections such as the “Goosebumps” series and “Bratz” doll books), and the teachers and librarian encouraged the children to purchase books from it during school hours. My children were seen as sad cases because their parents didn’t give them any money to buy books!
These were just two of the many reasons we decided to homeschool after my son’s first grade year! (And, I am proud to say, I was able to bite my tongue and simply shake my head sympathetically the following year when several of my son’s friend’s moms were complaining about the book selections available at the school library and their lack of control.)
Re: the Judy Blume books – and school library books in general (are some saying that there should be no censorship at all for school libraries? Anything can be stocked on a school library shelf? Or are there limits? Who decides the limits and how do you decide them? If the limits include books that you think are dangerous for your child, what about the danger to the other children? What about what they’ll talk about at recess from their latest Judy Blume find? There’s a lot more to the question than “don’t limit any books”, but that’s jmo)
Here’s an article written by Kathy Jean Lopez (the NRO editor and sometimes contributor to the National Catholic Register):
http://www.nationalreview.com/weekend/books/books-lopez093000.shtml
A couple quotes from her article:
“Blume, the most censored author in the United States, came out as she is wont to do once a year, to rally against the uptight forces of the Religious Right and all others who try to ban books in schools.”
“Take Blume’s Forever, the unofficial playbook for teen sex. It’s the story of two high-school seniors, Katherine and Michael, and their adventures in “losing it.” Although blessed with a progressive grandmother, granny is, alas, often too busy with NOW and Planned Parenthood rallies to offer Katherine adequate sex advice. Forget mom — she was a virgin until marriage. Fortunately, though, the local Planned Parenthood clinic comes to the rescue, offering Katherine the Pill she needs to make it all safe.”
Karnak,
The autistic boy that many are talking about is 6 feet tall, 225 lbs. and some of the reported behavior is beyond disruptive, into dangerous. I consider pushing a person, who was standing beside their car (while it was running) so that he could get in and rev the motor as dangerous.
I read that the priest did offer to do private Masses for the family, or to allow them to see a closed circuit in the church library.
I have to sympathize with those who want to keep the autistic boy from attending mass. If he truly is violent as many of the reports indicate it is not right to allow him to harm others. I also understand the concerns of those with disabled family members; my brother is autistic.
There is a mentally retarded, deaf-mute in my parish whom the priest has told me has psychological problems as well. He doesn’t understand appropriate behavior. He will pick a young female (20s) and stalk her, becoming increasingly violent. He faked a heart attack to get the attention of my friend once and then sexually assaulted her. The priest, the police and an interpreter had to sit down with the man to try to explain to him that if he continued to act this way he would be banned from the church property and there would be a restraining order issued. There have been subsequent incidents, but none as bad as that. Most of the young women have been targets of his attention at one time or another. It was difficult for me to adjust to being wary of a fellow parishioner. This is my first experience not being entirely at ease with my fellow parishioners but my confessor has helped me to accept that in some instances self-protection must take precedence.
I pray that we all might have the wisdom to know how to live out our faith in the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.
Regarding the library books and the librarian. As I was going through the first shelf of books with the librarian she openly admitted to me that she had no idea of the content on about 80% of the books on the shelf.
I’m talking about a Catholic School library here. In my opinion the books within that library need to be consistent with our faith. The ideals and values in those books cannot undermine our faith or the work of Catholic parents. If parents want their children to read some of the popular series that may not be accepted they can get them at the public library.
Thank you for the information on Judy Blume. I didn’t know anything about her.
When my kids first started school I trusted their school library not to have anything that would be objectionable. Oh how naive I was.
Just to give you a taste of where I’m coming from, my daughter brought home a book titled “Gross Jokes.” The first page I turned to had this joke, “How do you tell the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer? The taste.” Now tell me, what literary, educational value is there in a book like this?
I know it’s a sensitive topic for some but when we’re talking about a Catholic grade school library, there do need to be some guidelines.
I appreciate everyone’s input.
Karnak (7:22)~
My parish seems to have more “special” people than most parishes twice its size and people tell me that we are much better than a lot of other parishes at accommodating. Still, the parents of a large teen who is severely autistic realize that she cannot deal with Mass at this time and take her Communion at home. Can we deal with drooling, diapers on older kids, odd choices of clothing, picture boards, occasional disruptions, etc. during Mass? If our pro-life stance means anything, yes. Can we allow someone who is out of control hurt others? If we believe that every innocent life is to be protected, no we cannot.
According to the news articles I read, this parish DID try to make accommodations but the mother refused them. According to what I have seen, the papers for the restraining order mention that the boy has engaged in behavior at church that endangers others. IF (and this is a big IF) this is all true, then I tend to agree that the pastor had to do something before someone got badly injured (or worse). As my social justice professor used to quote, “Your freedom to swing your fist ends where my nose begins”.
To Lindy,
Danielle, please pass this on to her.
As a librarian, I am against censorship. And that is what it seems you want to do. As a Catholic, we must balance our private wishes with those around us. We MUST NOT make decisions for others–even if we think we are guiding them.
The first thing you must do before you go through the books is make a Collection Development Policy. This should include a form for Reconsideration. You may find samples on the web and at ALA. Also, please involve a school librarian with a Masters in Library Science. She/He is trained to do selection that is appropriate for all ages and for the curriculum support.
Also, books are selected from a variety of review sources. For example, check out the Catholic library association’s web site. They are school librarians who will help you.
Thank you for reading and listening. Good luck in improving your library for everyone.
Claudia
Dear Claudia, you say “As a Catholic, we must balance our private wishes with those around us. We MUST NOT make decisions for others–even if we think we are guiding them.”
Does that mean that as a Catholic, I should not be angered that the book, “Heather Has Two Mommies” is in my Catholic school library? Should I not desire to “censor” this book for each and every student that goes to that library, not just my own? If I see your kids are looking at pornography in the library, should I just look the other way, and figure that it is just my private wishes that no child should be exposed to pornography????
Should we not use our Catholic faith to guide the principles of what library books are in our Catholic library? You say, we must not make decisions for others . . . well, the librarian is making a decision for us (what books to be included in the library). The publishing companies are making decisions for us (what books are worthy of publishing). The mass media are making decisions for us (what content to put into magazines and newspapers). Why shouldn’t we want good Catholic parents to make decisions about what should be included in our Catholic libraries? Especially if the librarian admits that she cannot possibly do that job by herself?
Amplifying on what Alice said…my husband and I are very conscious of our son’s behavior, and it is a nonstop job to teach him what is appropriate and what isn’t. He is very good at mass now (he is 13) and has received FHC, penance and confirmation with a lot of loving support from our wonderful Augustinian priests and our dedicated catechists, and our kind and accepting fellow parishioners. He actually enjoys going to mass and “visiting” with the people he knows there. What helped was setting up a routine. We almost always go to the 8 am mass, sit in the same pew (up front) and go in and out through the same door (not the main entrance in the narthex, since when he was little he would bolt away and I feared for the hips of the old ladies, should he knock them over).
My heart goes out to the family whose son has been barred from mass. I did read the news reports, and bloggers on both sides. I know I cannot speak for the mother of that young man. But I have found in my own experience that sometimes I have to let things go. There have been times with the school system that I could have insisted on “MY” (or rather, my son’s) rights to certain things. I could have made a court case out of it. I could have gone in there with restraining orders and the local news media. However, I always, always had to ask myself, is this going to help or harm my child? Is the insistence on “MY” way of doing something going to help achieve the goals we all, parents and school staff alike, have for him, or is the disruption and confrontation going to harden already-negative attitudes?
No one’s heart was ever changed by a court injunction. I have always found that it is easier to catch flies with honey rather than vinegar, that by acknowledging the special efforts people have to make with my son and by humbly accepting help and assistance, we have always, in the end, been able to get the help he needs. One of the blessings of autism for me has been that I have needed to accept my need for help and charity from others. I feel I have grown immensely in humility (unless it is not humble to say that, LOL) and in getting over false pride in my self-sufficiency.
Anyway those are my thoughts.
Lady Hatton,
We have been there. Amen and amen.
Claudia,
I don’t understand why a Catholic school library doesn’t have to follow the principles outlined in “The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality”, which gives guidelines as to when it is appropriate for certain ages to learn certain things about their bodies. This document also underlines that it is the parent’s right and responsibility to impart this information.
I agree that I can’t let my personal choices govern what might be in a library. If I have a problem with clowns, it wouldn’t be right for me to ask that all clown books are removed. I think we are discussing a different dimension here, however.
Liza-
I have had 4 c-sections in 4 years- My children are 4, 3, 19 months, and 4 months. I have recovered great after each one and it seems to get a little easier. I want to have more children and my OB has said I can- I think he re-evaluates after each c- section. I am so glad this is part of the discussion- this has been one of my biggest concerns- Thank you and God bless..
Lindy~
Please be somewhat diverse on your audit committee and, if possible, include men. (I’m not saying you’re not, but I have noticed over the years that most initiatives like this are primarily female.) Sometimes we women forget that certain things that offend our feminine sensibilities are not evil and having men involved in these kinds of things can really be helpful in sorting out what’s simply “not feminine” and what’s really bad.
I was a homeschooled kid, so I read all the time. My parents couldn’t always keep abreast of what I was reading and we did use the public library, but they did a good job of making sure that I felt that what I was reading was appropriate for a Catholic child/teen. One of the things that they insisted was that we show them ALL the books we brought home. To me (and I don’t have any experience on the parental side), this is extremely important since not even a Catholic library is going to be perfect.
Some of the series/books I enjoyed were the following:
The Boxcar Children
The Hardy Boys (esp. the first 70 or so)
Nancy Drew (again, the first 70 or so)
The Chronicles of Narnia
The Little House Books
Betsy-Tacy Series
The American Girl Doll books
(you may want to read the later ones since the company seems to have branched out a lot and does support Planned Parenthood, but the earlier ones about Felicity, Kirsten, Josefina, Kat, Molly, and Addy are good)
Dear America
My Name Is America
My America
Harry Potter (Some parents disagree)
Lord of the Rings (Probably best for 7-8 Graders)
JRR Tolkien’s children’s books
Sherlock Holmes
The Mary Fabyan Windeatt books about the saints
(available from TAN)
Kidnapped, Treasure Island, and A Child’s Garden of Verses by Robert Louis Stevenson
The Black Stallion series
Father Lovasik books
(Actually, I hated these, but they really aren’t bad for younger kids)
Across Five Aprils
James Herriot’s books about his life as a veterinarian
Hopefully this will help you.
I’m going to get off the internet and try to earn my keep for a few hours 🙂
Thank you all who have given opinions on my question as to whether or not I should attend a graduation party when it was obvious that I was not on the original guest list and was only given a cheap generic invitation after the grandmother of the graduate mentioned it to me.
I am still not sure whether or not I will attend but have decided that the right thing to do would be to send a gift either way.
After reading the comments of others who validated my feelings, I didn’t feel so bad about feeling hurt which enabled me to let it go.
Thank you all !
Diane
HI Alice and Lady Hattan
As I have siad I have a mentally diabled autistici duahgter who hutrs herself when he is upstet or whatever and is now a full grouwn 18. I tak eher to mass soemtheims and I no longer put up wiht silly or to be ocnest comments for soci called normal people who should not better. My attitue is that I take no prinsoner and if my duaghter hit sher head in mass they can like it or lump it. My duahger is in a group home and her housemate also makes odd noises and her mother like me puts up iwht no nonsnes fomr soc called nomrla parishioners in my book th eidieot s) who make sill and unnecessayr cmments aoubt her duaghter at the Urkaona ccahtolci mass they attend.
That Cathoic church fomr what I have sene in many plcaces is hopelsss at intergrating th emetntally disable d childnrne and audtl sin to ther parishes at the bes tof times an dyet it is Cahtocis who have the larger faimlues who have the dialbed chilerne iqwht Downs, and othe r csyndormes that can be now tested for in utero and usyually aoborted. Yet fomr what I have witnessed the Cahtolic Chur4ch is the worst domoninaoit at delaign with hainvg disable dpeople attenidng Cahtoic services whereas th echuruchs that are pro abortin do a mcuh better job at includign such people.
T%hsi attiutude is worst for fmailyies who have lower func itonsing kids who are still in nappies and have bahavior problmes. I suggest that thos wwho are forutnate enoguth to have a fialy of nomral kids wiht otu such problems be lesss judegmental and get twith the program. If you go on to have a large fiamly your chances of joinging those os us who have a disabled child is higher and even if you only have a few kdis, you never knwo your luck in th ebirht slection.
Here in Austrlaia the eclsiinist attiutdue is changin thak s to one woman who adapoted 3 Downs boys and has been employed by the bishops to wirte a book of best practice fo rinclusion an dslowioyl this seems to be happing. Her book “we have a sotyr” really made osme of the parishs sit up an dtkde notice to improve the situatuion of fmaillies iwht disabled childrne and adutls. So lady hutotn if you are frustrated by the rubbihs you get handed out by people who make silly comments aobut your son, tell them pollitey what they can do about it. Jessu was condmened fo rhanging aroudn wiht the worng sort of people s and siad suffer the lilttle chidlrne to come to me woudl be appaleed by the attitued of soo many Cathocic parishes who livie in NIMBI land. If the Church keeps prattlign aobut social jusitcieit shou8dl inisit all parishes parciste iti instead of tryigng ot dogdethe issue. Our Latin mass priest has fianllly go twith the program aoubt dialbed childrne an dadutl sas severla odler fed up parent sgo tvery tired of his negativty toward stheir kids whilst goign on aobut social jistici etc. and not makeing any effor tfor their mentally disabled childrne to recieve the sacraments.
My parish seems to have more “special” people than most parishes twice its size and people tell me that we are much better than a lot of other parishes at accommodating. Still, the parents of a large teen who is severely autistic realize that she cannot deal with Mass at this time and take her Communion at home. Can we deal with drooling, diapers on older kids, odd choices of clothing, picture boards, occasional disruptions, etc. during Mass? If our pro-life stance means anything, yes.
Sorry about the repeat but it is better without the typos
HI Alice and Lady Hatton
As I have said I have a mentally disabled autistic daughter who hurts herself when he is upset or whatever and is now a full grown 18. I take her to mass sometimes and I no longer put up with silly or to be honest comments for so called normal people who should know better. My attitude is that I take no prisoners and if my daughter hits her head in mass they can like it or lump it. My daughter is in a group home and her housemate also makes odd noises and her mother like me puts up with no nonsense from so called normal parishioners (in my book idiots) who make silyl and unnecessary comments about her daughter at the Ukraine catholic mass they attend.
That Catholic church from what I have seen in many places is hopeless at integrating mentally disabled children and adults sin to their parishes at the best of times and yet it is Catholics who have the larger families who have the disabled children with Downs, and other syndromes that can be now tested for in utero and usually aborted. Yet form what I have witnessed the Catholic Church is the worst domination at dealing with having disabled people attending Catholic services whereas the churches that are pro abortion do a much better job at including such people. So the Caholic Church should make a better job of practisng what it preaches.
This attitude is worst for families who have lower functioning kids who are still in nappies and have behaviour problems. I suggest that those who are fortunate enough to have a family of normal kids without such problems be less judgemental and get with the program. If you go on to have a large family your chances of joining those of us who have a disabled child is higher and even if you only have a few kids, you never know your luck in the birth selection.
Here in Australia the exclusionist attitude is changing thanks to one woman who adopted 3 Downs boys and has been employed by the bishops to write a book of best practice of inclusion and slowly this seems to be happening. Her book “We have a story” really made some of the parishes sit up and take notice to improve the situation of families with disabled children and adults. So Lady Hutton if you are frustrated by the rubbish you get handed out by people who make silly comments about your son, tell them polity what they can do about it. Jesus who was condemned for hanging around with the wrong sort of people and said suffer the little children to come to me would be appalled by the attitude of so many Cathodic parishes who live in NIMBI land. If the Church keeps prattling about social justice should insist all parishes practise it instead of trying to dodge the issue. Our Latin mass priest has finally got with the program about disabled children and adults after several older fed up parents became very tired of his negativity toward their kids whilst going on about social justice etc. and not making any effort to enable their mentally disabled children to receive the sacraments.
Karnak
Karnak,
I just read your comments and though I feel your heart is in the right place I think you are going just a bit overboard.You are defiantly an advocate for your adult child’s rights , which is commendable, but what about everyone else’s rights? I personally have a child with ADD and Aspergars . He has attended mass with my family since he was an infant. There have been times that he had to be removed from mass, or kept in another room but he soon learnt ( never underestimate the capability of some of these kids to learn ) what was and wasn’t acceptable. He is now fifteen with never a problem at mass. Another son of mine went to preschool with a couple autistic kids who had to be restrained constantly at the beginning of the year but seemed to have very little trouble acting pretty much appropriately ( not putting themselves or others in danger) by the end.Too many people make excuses and never try to teach right from wrong. There is also a young man (probabably in his thirties) with Down Syndrome who sets through Mass every week without problems. When I complimented him to his Mom she told of when he was little and things didn’t go quite so well. This being said, why should the rest of the church suffer , be interrupted, fear that their toddler might get in the way of one of your child tantrums, etc. It simply isn’t fair. Yes your child has the right to go to church but so do these people. These people also have the right to an uninterrupted mass where they feel safe.The bottom line is that your child does not have the right to infringe upon the rights of others. I have tried to stay away from this subject but after reading your post felt the need to respond. Please understand that we are not trying to take away the rights of others but only trying to preserve our own. I think that the Catholic church has offered many options such as close circuit showing of mass and delivering Communion to another room in the church, taping mass and delivering the tape along with Communion to homes, etc. I understand that it is sometimes hard to see the other side when we are in the middle of these situations but we must always try to see it from other’s shoes too
Dear Married to a Crab-
No cynacism implied, but has your husband ever talked with a psychiatrist? I for years had struggled with depression, anxiety,and rage issues and was never properly diagnosed until I sought the help of an MD (as opposed to a psychologist). It has been my experience that psychologists imply that your issues stem from environment and that you can rewire your thinking based on cognitive/behavioral therapies. True that does help, but if your husband has an underlying chemical imbalance, then he needs some meds to augment his traditional therapy. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder by a Catholic psychologist whom I respect and trust. He suggested I was leaning more toward the manic end of the spectrum (hence the rage and anxiety-too much dopamine, not enough seratonin). I have five children and an incredible husband- I needed to get better for them! No more denial! I’ve been on meds for three years now and I feel so much better. I am a different person. Friends and family noticed the change right away-it truly was a blessing to have an answer. Don’t forget the power of prayer too. Let the spirit lead you and your husband to a solution. The Lord heals through prayer and meds. Remember that when the Lord healed the blind man he spat upon the ground and made a salve out of mud and smeared the paste over the man’s eyes. He did not just lay hands over him and heal. This tangilble salve to me is a fabulous example of how Christ endorses the “better living thriugh chemistry” philosophy. Meds can truly help. I’ll pray for you too. God bless.
Sorry. I meant I was diagnosed by a Catholic psychiatrist. It’s hard typing while breastfeeding-oy.