The whole gang of us are headed to the barn this morning. Feel free to start chatting without me. How’s your week been? What’s on your mind?
Catholic Writer and Speaker
by Danielle Filed Under: Coffee Talk
The whole gang of us are headed to the barn this morning. Feel free to start chatting without me. How’s your week been? What’s on your mind?
Since I was born when my mom was 45 and my husband when his mom was about the same age, I would say there’s not a set age limit. That seems rather arbitrary. If you’re healthy and there’s not a serious reason to avoid pregnancy, 40’s are not too old.
To the guy out there looking for Mother’s Day ideas. I would love a gift of doing something together. Something we don’t ordinarily do – go to the ballet, the symphony. Or a well-planned picnic in the park in which I didn’t have to do any preparation.
Personally, I’d also be open to a lovely spa package or a statue of the Blessed Mother for our yard.
On preschool – my nearly-5 year old is completing preschool at our parish school. All in all it’s been a positive experience. Without another sibling at home until recent months, it did give him some more play opportunites. I was, however, surprised by how much work it was for me – and expense – with various assignments, fundraisers, etc.
Apparently kindergarten has become much more rigorous and now there is some question as to whether he is ready or not. This has been a big dilemma for us. He’s a bright, well-behaved, sensitive boy. But he’s still immature in some ways. There’s all this prescreening that goes on that just seems a bit much to me at this age level. Anyway, we’re leaning toward homeschooling, at least for kindergarten to see how that goes. But I remember all the preschool questions coming since he was going on 3. I just wasn’t going to send him at the age and plainly told people he wasn’t going yet. He was staying home with me. That is after all why I quit work in the first place.
And, how was my week? Well, apparently there’s an intestinal bug going around. My week has not been so great. Travelling with this bug was not the greatest. Kept me away from a family wedding. And it’s slow to leave. Especially when you’re trying to stay hydrated enough to nurse an infant! Hope no one else has encounter this bug!
About Graduation gifts, My daughter will graduate this year so I may find that we are off but we always give money. These young adults, even if they have been working, can always use the money. Some use it to help buy a car, some for college expenses, whatever. We usually give twenty dollars for friends and distant relatives and fifty for first nieces, nephews, God children etc..I have also been known to add a rosary or religious gift of some sort to those Catholic kids who we are close to.
I have found that , in my family and social circle anyway,the Graduate’s friends seem to be the only ones who bring gifts ( graduation frames, and such) anymore
A guy,
Some hits that My husband has come up with that have brought tears to my eyes are first Precious Moments figurines. Some are very pricey but every Mother’s day five or six new ones are made including “little moments” These little ones are smaller than the original collection and between fifteen and twenty five dollars a piece. The bigger ones start at about twenty five dollars.My husband picks ones that correspond with our kids like ones with a little girl / boy holding hand picked flowers or a hand drawn picture. Many stores such as American Greetings and Halmark offer buy one get one half off sales around Mother’s days and these sell like Hot Cakes during that time.
A second can’t miss gift ( usually cheaper) is a photo item. You can order mugs,clothing, clocks,accessories, or almost anything With your children’s pictures on them. I usually use Walmart.com/photos or Walgreens.com/ photos but any store with a photo processing / printing place usually has them. You can take a picture in store if you don’t want to do it on line. What mother can resist anything with her babies faces on them ? I just ordered a bag and coaster set for my Mom and MIL with a picture of the Grand kids on)
Hi Michelle,
We started our own Little Flowers Girls’ Club 5 1/2 years ago. We meet very irregularly but it has been a blessing in our lives. Now our oldest daughters are just about the age that they can help to lead their younger sisters!
A guy:
Love it that you come here; already you’re on the right track 🙂
I like what mrs. samm said: you might not be a flowers guy, but is she a flowers girl? (And if she is, let me spell this out: handing her flowers for Mother’s day and thinking that’s it doesn’t cut it! Gotta keep on making the whole day special; it’s in the contract.)
What does SHE like? Breakfast in bed? Or a nice, chi-chi elegant brunch at a special restaurant? I agree with the spa/salon stuff, but I like that kind of stuff (and I have a hard time believing any female doesn’t!)
It’s never wrong to go the jewelry route and some mothers are very sentimental and love those “child” necklaces, with a figure for each one, or rings with your kids’ birthstones. One year my sister got those enamel baby shoes. But your wife has to like them; I’m just not that sentimental and I do not. Nor am I the “collectible type” but if she is, you’re golden.
What I keep going back to is: show her that you know what she likes. Does she work out? If not, would she like to start? Does she garden? Or would she prefer a landscaper to “magically” plant a gorgeous rosebush for her? (And if you’re really clever, you’ll pick one out with a name that is either hers or means something to her…for Catholics, you do know there is a John Paul II rose ? And a Lady of Guadalupe rose?) You’ll get extra points for that, guaranteed.
But my husband knows me and that’s what makes his gifts so awesome. Stuff like a gift certificate for zappos! Or a great handbag. Or like Julia said: tickets to a symphony, opera or ballet, or a play, where I get to look at my husband all spiffed up, works for me. Maybe find out who’s playing in your area and get tickets for someone you’re sure she’ll like?
Tell us what she likes – and what she doesn’t like – and you’ll get some more good suggestions.
Hello everyone:
Graduation Gifts: Oh the places you´ll go By Dr Seuss or any other initiation book. (I mean a story that helps you during different phases at life.
About the girl who´s teased at school: My hearta ches for you, it´s hard, I would definetly talk to her teacher plus i would build her confidence , have little fun play dates where school frinds can come, or interest her in a sport. Try ( iT´s hard) to help her not to be bother, bullies or teasing target kids , so once the kid is not bothered they ove on. I would even talk to the other girls mom.
Molly: Thank God you two are alright.
Preschool: If you really think is God´s will not to send your child to preschool, try to be firm with the people that give you advice, and anyway there tons of ways to socialize. I moved a lot so when i get t a new place i usually check the neighborhood for kids, and have play dates, with play dough and fun stuff, it helps the kids to be more at ease, and then you´ll see each other in the street , park, etc and your son will have a little friend to play with (if he wants) maybe he´s just happy being with his younger brother)
What do you do for this Mary´s month? Any suggestions?
P.s Sorry about my english I´m actually chilean, but currently live in the US
Wow, so much stuff today!
Preschool: Kindergarten used to be to get kids ready for elementary school. Then preschool started being used to get kids ready for kindergarten. I actually know a woman who put her child in daycare at age 2, so she would be used to it when she went to kindergarten. Overall, I think most kids who are in preschool are there as for daycare, really. If you are planning on homeschooling anyway, why would you put your baby in a preschool? Also, you asked about socializing a 4yo. I think it’s always better for kids to be friends with YOUR (the mom’s) friends’ children. Does that make sense? I always cringe when my children get invited to a birthday party of someone I don’t know, like on their soccer team. I have nothing in common with these other women and they look at me (SAHM of 8 who homeschools and breastfeeds) like I’m from Mars. I would rather my kids were friends with people I also know and like. After all, preschool friends disappear after the school year, sometimes forever. I would rather encourage more meaningful long-lasting friendships.
Julie — I am 43 and worry about the same thing. I was told at age 37 by the ob who worked with my midwife not to have any more children. “The human body simply was not designed to have children past age 35”. Oh, really? Then why is it possible? Obviously it WAS designed to do so. Pray and trust in God. The risks for a birth defect are higher for older moms, but still relatively low. And it is all up to God, anyway. (Oh, I ignored that OB)
Noisy kids at mass: A tough one. Mine learned that if they were loud, they got to go to the back of church which was waayyy more fun. I had to make it unfun. I second almost everything everyone has suggested, except no food or drinks — too messy and not polite to other parishioners. Besides noisy toddlers, I also have a 7yo with Asperger’s. She cannot sit for that long, and needs something to keep her busy. Saint and Bible stories are good. I also keep a pad of paper and a pen for her to draw/write in. But it must be about Jesus, saints or Bible characters.
Thanks for the gift suggestions. My daughter will be going to college in the fall, and (aside from tuition money!) I was looking for something meaningful for her. And I may forward the Mother’s Day ideas to my husband!
Lenetta – My son had horrible sleep problems. We could never figure out why he always seemed tired and irritable. I mentioned it at his yearly checkup and his Pediatrician thought he might be suffering from nasal allergies, causing a stuffy nose and thus a form of sleep apnea; causing him to wake up several times a night when he couldn’t get air in through his nose. She was right. He now uses a nasal decongestant spray before bed, and his sleep is much improved.
Best Mother’s Day gift – Spending the entire day with all my children and husband at a local mountain town hiking and wading in the water. Then eating at the local “greasy spoon” where we had the best hamburgers ever. I hope to relive that day this weekend.
Hey Dad’s , kids, or anyone else looking for a Mother’s Day Gift,
Got a Wal Greens near by ? Tomorrow Wednesday May 7th You can go to .http://photo.walgreens.com/
Create an account and upload one of Mom’s favorite snap shots ( no copy written will be printed unless you sign a waiver form) Click order prints and order an 8×10.Pick the Wal Greens where you wish to pick up your print and go to check out. At check out enter code “4Mom” and the 8×10 is free. You will get an E mail telling you when your 8×10 will be ready. after this time simply go in and pick it up.
To the lady with 8 children,
I would just say that just because you are still fertile does not mean that you are obligated to have more children. If you want to, if you are in a good position to and feel capable of adding another one to your clan, your age alone should not be a grave reason to avoid having a baby.
I will add, however, a bit of our own (and physically my own) personal experience since you and I are around the same age. We had 7 children in 11 years, our youngest is 10 months, and I am going to turn 38 this year. The rapidity with which our children came has left my body a bit worse for the wear, and though I do want more children and I don’t feel that my age is a problem, the exhaustion level my body exists in at this time is, in our minds, a grave enough reason to postpone a pregnancy for the time being. That still leaves us open to God’s action in our marriage should He believe another baby is in the picture right now, and it certainly does not preclude another baby further off in the future. Ultimately I think that doctors are a little too worried about the somewhat higher risks associated with “advanced maternal age” ( which begins at 35! I didn’t feel “advanced” at that age 🙂 ) I would rather wait until I don’t feel quite so tired and have a baby at 40 than deal with pregnancy and a newborn right now!
Just my 2cents!
Love this blog!
Hello. I have a question I’ve been pondering for a few days now that I would like to pose to all you faithful ladies.
I’ve been collecting the picture books recommended in Cay Gibson’s “Catholic Mosaic” literature guide for the past two years. My oldest (a girl) is just 5 years old so I’m trying to be more consistent in reading them to her as she’s now getting old enough to follow them. This past Friday I was planning on reading to her “Lovely Lady Dressed in Blue and the Knights of Our Lady” by Joan Andrews Bell, Susan Andrews Brindle, and Miraim Andrews Lademan (Precious Life Books). This book is recommended as Marian reading for the month of May in CM. In previewing the book before reading it to my dd, I discovered that this book talks somewhat frankly about abortion and the “Shield of Roses” campaign to protect the unborn. I have not spoken to my dd about abortion yet as she is still so young and innocent. She is a very intelligent and inquisitive child so I don’t think the concept would just go over her head, and she’s also very senstive so I think the idea that there are people who whould kill babies would be very upsetting to her.
I decided to hold off on reading the book to her for the time being. I do find that the Precious Life Books are a bit over her head – they tend to be long and pretty theologically dense (the book in question also discusses the Albigensian Heresy – also a heavy topic for a 5yo) but she has sat through a couple of them on the Eucharist. They are probably most appropriate for children between the ages of 8 and 12 or 14.
The question that this got me thinking about is what age is too young to introduce the subject of abortion and praying for the unborn? Should I introduce it now? The fact that she’s sensitive might be a good thing – the whole idea of abortion should shock and horrify us. It might inspire her to pray fervently that God will protect all unborn babies. Also, she will be attending Kindergarten at a good, solid Catholic elementary school in the Fall that I know is pretty heavily involved in pro-life work. They might not start doing this in Kindergarten, but at some point she’s going to hear about pro-life activities as it relates to the sin of abortion, and I’m thinking that it might be better for her to hear about it from me first.
What do you all think? Should I use this book as a teaching tool now, or wait until she’s a little older?
Thank you all in advance!
My ideal Mother’s day:
My husband would spend the day doing any projects I ask him to. Finish up the laundry, complete that project I’ve been asking him to do for months, make lunch (and clean up afterwards), etc. Then, a dinner out w/o the kids. Ahhh…bliss! Its just enough to get me through to another Mother’s day.
Kathy: Re discussing abortion with your kids
At this age, I would certainly not tell her what abortion is. What I would do is encourage her to pray for babies. Explain to her that we want all babies to be born happy, into a loving family. Truly, this is what would end abortion, so the intention is perfect. When events come up at school (after you’re done thanking God for such a great school!), simply answer questions honestly as SHE brings them up. Go only into detail when she requests it. And by all means, talk to the teachers and administrators about your concerns. Make sure they are all on the same page concerning what is to be revealed and what is not.
This is by no means an easy topic. Pray for guidance, and ask her guardian angel to protect her little ears until she is ready.
I have a question for all the working moms out there. I just had my first child in January. Unfortunately, due to our financial circumstances, I have to go back to work in a week. I am dreading leaving my daughter, especially since I have to send her to daycare (no family around). How do you other working moms deal with leaving your kids each day? Also, how do you keep connected with them and your husband while still working?
Congratulations on the birth of baby #1! Don’t be too hard on yourself for going back to work to provide for your child. Thank God you have a job and the ability to help provide. It is understandable that you are dreading it — but it’ll be okay. It may be just the motivation you need to pay off debt etc. so that you can go pt or stay home in the future. With our first three I officially worked pt, but it wasn’t a set schedule, so many weeks I was gone most of the time. What helped me was 1) knowing I was doing what I needed to do to keep a roof over our heads 2) I frequented Eucharistic adoration for confidence & guidance 3) I had an awesome sitter, who I believe Jesus led be to (a provider who worked out of her home – we became good friends and she taught me a lot 4) if at all possible, try to out source some of your household chores (cleaning and having groceries delivered) that way your not spending the entire weekend playing catch-up. You can then use that time to hang with hubby & baby.
From my experience, I am sorry to say that you will most likely be judged unfavorably by many SAHM. It is a cross to be misunderstood — but as long as you’re okay with Jesus, you & baby are okay.
Lenetta:
my son is 15 months and with all our children, i would say that what you have with your 13 mo old is fine. Sleeping that long through the night and not much to cry about so you need to go in? I know women/parents that would envy that! that being said, we are all different and seem to need/want different things with sleeping with our children. Don’t expect a lot, the baby is still a..baby..and only 13 months old. My children have begun eating a lot by that age, so I would : 1- start feeding more, esp. around dinner or shortly after- maybe some hearty good oatmeal to keep his tummy filled up. 2- Forgo the morning nap to only 45mins and aim for a longer afternoon nap….and before you put him down for the afternoon nap, make sure he gets ALOT of exercise to wipe him out.
Hope this helps you.
TO ERIN:
My best Mothers day gift is what happens almost every year! we began this about 4 years ago.
It is the saturday/day before the actual mothers day. There is a town wide tag (garage/yard) sale that is about an hour away- i wake up early and leave, get some coffee, relax at the coffee shop… and then head over to the tag sales! I love it!
My husband gives me some money to spend on whatever as my gift and I take my time, enjoying EVERY minute of it!!! I had to bring along my baby to one of these adventures one year b/c I was nursing and he was so little, but even that was not too bad. But i have not had to bring along any of my kids the last few years – this, i enjoy the most, the peace and quiet, relaxed atomosphere, doing what i enjoy doing :)) I can’t wait to go this year 🙂
To Kathy: Your concern is a good one! At age 5, personally I would concentrate on praying for the babies in their mother’s tummies in general. That way, you include the ones that are in danger of being aborted but you are not bringing the details of abortion into the limelight. I taught second grade at a Catholic school and when we did pro-life posters, for example, I introduced it from a pro-life perspective: showing that God loves all people and we have to help take care of life. I did not talk about abortion as I thought it was something their parents should share with them, so that they could share as much or as little detail as they desired. It was interesting: When I shared what it meant to be ‘pro-life,’ some of the kids immediately mentioned abortion and knew what it was (many of these had older siblings) and some didn’t…..but it didn’t really matter as long as they understood the message of what it means to be pro-life (which is really more than abortion, but is also about caring for and being kind to the elderly, the handicapped, the outcast, etc…..ALL life.) If Susie mentioned abortion in class, and Thomas asks about it, I would say something like, ‘You’re right, Susie, there are some people who don’t take care of babies and protect them like they should. Thomas, you can go home and ask your mom & dad more about it.” I wasn’t trying to shy away from the subject; I just didn’t want more information introduced than what the parents wanted their son or daughter to hear at that age! because it is a horrifying and shocking realization that this takes place every day in our country.
To “A Guy”:
Good for you for trying to be creative! My husband encourages me to go on the Mother’s Retreat that our diocese offers (and it’s from Friday night to Saturday evening so I still have Mother’s Day with the family) and I love him for it! A great gift!!!
To Julie re: age to conceive,
I don’t think age is necessarily a grave reason not to conceive. Health reasons can be, but I’ve never heard of age. And I’ve never heard of having another one in addition to eight others as being selfish! It’s too bad your doctors felt they had to lecture you. I’m blessed to have a devoutly Catholic, NFP-only OB. I asked him once about age and getting pregnant, and his response was, “Give me a healthy, non-smoking 38-year-old mom any day” — in other words, he’d seen younger moms have more problems. I agree with an earlier poster, too — God knew what he was doing when he decided to let our fertility years go on into our 40s! So don’t listen to your doctors, listen to God and His Church.
Re: Mother’s Day gifts,
I love the “Momnipotent” apron Danielle has in her store.
Hello to the lady who has asked about having children after age 38. I got married late (at 38), and my husband and I were blessed with two beautiful boys. I’m now nearly 42. I posed the same question you did to my husband: should we try for more children, given the potential for abnormalities due to my age?
He sort of set me straight by reminding me that when were were engaged we told each other we’d have as many children as possible – and we didn’t say “only if they are healthy.”
There’s this prevalent line of thinking in our culture that says that the most important thing is that the baby is born healthy. I even caught myself telling this to a friend when I was pregnant: Yes, so long as our baby is born healthy. Then I stopped myself and said, wait a minute – maybe it is God’s will that we are given a certain cross (or rather, blessing) of a child with special needs.
So to be open to children doesn’t mean open to healthy children only.
Pray about this with your husband, and tell God that you and your husband consent to having a special needs child if that should be His will.
Hello, ladies!
I am looking for a modest swimsuit for my little girl, size 6. Target has swimsuits with little skirts, but only up to size 5. Any suggestions? Thanks!
To the mom whose daughter is being teased at school: does she still have other friends in her class? Do they stick up for her at all, or are they only her friends when she isn’t being teased? Definitely talk to the teacher, principal, and maybe the other girl’s mom–with charity at first, but be prepared to get very firm as sometimes this is what it takes.
I had a very tough time in gradeschool with being bullied–by eighth grade, I actually had no friends left, and mostly kept to myself. Girls can have a real pack mentality–and by that I mean that sometimes all the girls in a class will follow one leader if she is “cool.” As a child, I was never teased in class, in front of the teacher–it was always homeroom, recess, gym class, library visits, or any time when supervision was less strict. I can’t tell you how many games of dodgeball or hockey I endured that were thinly veiled attempts to beat me up–all when the teacher wasn’t looking. Bullies are very good at appearing to be doing nothing wrong–none of my teachers would believe me or my mother about the problem. In fact, eventually they accused me of being extremely anti-social. If the teasing is bad enough and no one will listen to you or your daughter, then a hidden video or audio recorder might be your best bet.
I don’t mean to sound extreme, and I hope that talking to the teacher or the other kid’s mom will help, but if it is bad enough, just get your daughter out of there. Another school or homeschooling is preferable to being bullied each day. God bless you and your daughter, and best of luck with this issue!
Hi Carrie! We love Lands’ End swimsuits! They carry many modest styles at reasonable prices. This spring break my youngest daughter wore their Little Girls’ Ruffled Rash Guard Shirt (currently for sale $10 in the overstock section of their website) with their swim shorts (which have a built in swim panty) and was comfortable and adorable. Check out their overstock section, too, for last season’s styles at more reasonable prices! You can exchange at a Sears store, too.
http://www.landsend.com/overstock
Then search by size or item…
To Dani RE: preschool pressure-
Barbara Curtis wrote two books in particular (though I like all her books) that address this issue. They end up being a kind of Montessori-informed home-school type curriculum. They are _Mommy, Teach Me_ and _Mommy, Teach Me to Read_
I know your question was about being pressured to send your child to preschool. Barbara addresses this in the beginning of her books.
I like the ideas for activities and her explanation of why one shouldn’t feel forced to send a child to pre-school.
http://mommyteachme.net/
For Aimee,
I have only one piece of advise that may help you in a small way regarding teasing. My nephew was picked on at school by the boy sitting next to him. My sister finally approached the teacher to see if he could move seats. The teacher was very kind and moved the two boys apart (actually she moved the other boys desk up next to hers.) This boy had been a problem in the classroom and my sister asked why her son always got “stuck” sitting next to him even when they moved seats around. The teachers response was that she had no idea that the boy was picking on her son, he was the only one who didn’t complain. While switching seats probably won’t completely solve the problem, at least she won’t have to deal with it ALL day long. And….this boy stopped picking on my nephew. I think sitting next to him provided an easy target even at recess.
MODEST CUTE SWIMSUITS
http://www.swimmodest.com has fabulous modest suits for girls/women of all ages. It’s a company started by a homeschooling mom. They are a bit spendy but last very well! They currently have suits for size 4/6 on clearance for $15 with $2 shipping (don’t know how long that offer will last)
I was a bit worried my daughter would “stand out” too much. But she received so many wonderful comments and people all over were asking her where she got it. They are one piece with a built in skirt/shorts. They are simply pretty.
oops,
http://www.swimmodest.com has boys swim shirts as well
So many moms seem to have negative thoughts about preschool that I wanted to let others who are thinking about it know it was an excellent experience for my kids. Although all of them didn’t go and they went to varying degrees, some for 2 years, some for 1 yr.
With my oldest I had not sent him to preschool because I hung around with moms who expressed the same sentiments that I see here. I changed and it was a wonderful experience.
The kids had alot of fun, did alot of crafts that I didn’t do, sang alot of songs and played. It was especially helpful for my youngest who had great difficult with social interactions. It really brought her right out of her shell. It is not a full time program, it is a couple hours a 2 or 3 days a week.
That said, I do not think it is essential for a child nor do I think it gives them some advantage. But I do think comments like the kids turn terrible when they go to preschool are a bad generalization. I did love that we went to a small christian preschool with very nuturing teachers.
Honestly, it was helpful for me to have the preschool outlet also. I see so many of you homeschooling moms who do it all and I humbly admit that I am not able to. It really was a turning point for me when I could admit that and recognize that we are all made differently.
So, if you want to try out preschool go ahead. Don’t be left thinking it is something bad. If you are happy keeping your little one at home full time then don’t feel like you owe anyone an explanation. There is always going to be someone who questions your decisions.
Hi, everyone,
I am late posting this so I hope I can still get feedback. We moved last September to a small town (30 minutes west of the big city we lived in). There my two girls attended the Catholic school. When we moved, we decided it would be good to keep them in the same environment, so we attend the Catholic school here. Before, public school was not an option, but here it is. Our old school also had two teachers per grade, and now it is only one (my oldest has 27 kids in her class), and my youngest has only 4 other girls. We are thinking of moving them to the public school, which has more teachers and more technology. The move is mainly academic. I feel my third grader is getting bored and my kindergartener is not learning to read or write very much at all. Our old kindergarten was awesome. The girls are a bit worried about not being able to talk about Jesus in public school, but like the idea of no uniform. Also, they would need to attend religious education classes which are on Sundays (CCD, I wish they still called it that). Do any of you use an online Cathecism versus the parish classes? If online, how do you do First Communion, etc.?
Thanks.
Claudia – for very similar reasons we (with some apprehension) switched our kids to the excellent public school. I have been very impressed with the academics and the wholesomeness and I am so glad I switched. I decided not to enroll them in the RE program at the parish. We did one year and it was a waste of time – little learning and lots of driving! I now use Seton’s RE materials. After school M-TH the kids complete their RE lesson at the kitchen table. Our parish has a home schooling group and both the pastor and RE director are okay with families preparing children for 1st communion. My daughter was concerned about not being able to talk about Jesus, but as it turns out, there are many lovely Catholic kids in her class. There are also Protestants, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Moslems, and “nothings” (as the kids say). She has learned a great deal.
As an aside, my friend has her daughter in a very small Catholic school where there are only 8 girls in the 5th grade class. It’s a nightmare. 5 girls are “in” and 3 are “out”. My friends daughter is popular, but uncomfortable with the social dynamics. Personally, I would (and did) steer clear of a situation where my daughter would be in a very small class of girls. It’s probably okay for the early years, but 5th grade plus can be unnecessarily difficult.
Tina D,
Where do you live? I would love to find an NPF only OB!!
Swimsuits.
We got some very nice Speedo swimsuits, really cheap at Kohl’s last year. They fit my daughter perfectly, which is hard to come by, and they were only around $6 on clearance. They aren’t exactly the cutest swimsuit out there, but the one is pink, tangerine, and white, and she doesn’t care. At 6 it is more about the pool than the suit.
Amy-
I live on Long Island, NY. My NFP-only OB is the only one around and I travel about 15 miles one way to see him, but it’s totally worth it! I learned of him through some family friends but also through One More Soul (www.omsoul.com). They have an NFP directory. Hope you find someone!
Tina-
Where in Long Island is your OB. Ilive in queens and I would love to switch if possible!!
Claudia,
I understand alittle of what you are going through. My oldest went to Catholic school for kindergarten. He did well but with 27 kids in a class (even with a teacher and an aide) I think my other kids would have really struggled. The public school kindergarten has 2 teachers and 14 kids. I look back and think we were crazy for putting him in such a large class and paying $3000 to do it.
As for not being able to talk about Jesus, I do miss the deliberate incorporation of prayer and Mass into the kids school life. But my kids are aware that God is very present with them
in their hearts and minds and all around the public school. Sometimes it is a challenge for them to witness to their faith with their actions not just words as St. Francis said something like “Go and preach the gospel and if you need to, use words” (paraphrase)
They are also fortunate to be surrounded by many kids in school from Catholic/Christian families who want to raise their kids knowing and loving God.
What Catholic and public schools offer varies greatly depending on your location. I think it is always wise to look at all your options and try them out if you prayerfully decide it could be beneficial for your kids.
PS We do a homebased religious education program. CCD would not work well for us.
I too sent my four children to our parochial school pre-k program and we all loved it! We made some new friends and my kids did some cute little projects (that this neat freak mom won’t allow!) and they put on some great little shows at Christmas and the end of the year. I don’t think it’s right or accurate to generalize by observation about childrens’ behavior whether or not they attend school. That goes both ways! For us, I liked the structure of school and the social part – I made some wonderful friends and we enjoyed hanging out together on the playground and chatting after school while our children played. Preschool is also pretty short where I live – a few hours a day for 2 or 3 days per week.
OK… hope I get in here with enough of the day left for some responses. I am considering purchasing a Bosch mixer (actually a Mother’s day gift from dh). I was wondering… any advice on models. I am looking at a 400 watt with a top mount for the mixing attachments. Or should I spend a couple hundred more for the base mount and 700 watt? Any advice would be appreciated. We son’t have a lot of extra money so I want to be reasonable, but I need one that will last and allow for me to make home made bread for a family of 7. Thanks!
Kristina
Lots of “school” talk here. I teach in a Catholic school. 28 kids and one aide in my Kindergarten class. I’m not happy with the structure of my classroom. We have desks. I don’t think it can be as personalized that way. I wish I had more time to spend with each student. A smaller class would be much nicer, and one more aide would be perfect!
Kristina, what about a Kitchen Aide? I have had mine for 20 years. It does EVERYTHING! I think it costs about $350.
Claudia:
We live in WI, too. We send our children to public school because we could not ask for better schools! They are absolutely wonderful and I think they are the very best choice for our family. CCD can be really hard to work out sometimes, but home-based religious education is a really big help. And, don’t let your children worry, my kids talk about Jesus and praying often and it’s never been a big deal in our schools. Once I got the sweetest note from my daughter’s Kindergarten teacher telling me about my little 5 year old and her friend praying afterschool in the hallway for the friend’s cousin who was sick in the hospital. The teacher thought it was such a kind and wonderful thing that she had to share it with me! That was a real reassurance in our situation! Best wishes to you.
Dina-
He is Dr. Robert Scanlon in Huntington. A little ways from Queens, but I’ve heard of people coming from Manhattan to go to him, so go for it!
Molly – I am sorry about your accident. I have a question, if you don’t mind, were the seats in the third row completely gone because of the accident? Meaning if you had people there would they have been injured? We are currently looking at minivans and my concern about them is the third row. I feel uneasy about people being in the third row in the back. I wonder if we should just wait and get a bigger van.
Kristen -Your family and cousin will be added to our prayers.
Regarding grave reason to avoid conception. I would pray with your husband and often about it. If you feel ready and healthy enough to welcome a new life and can do it then do so! My husband’s grandmother had her last child at 42.
If you’re looking for an NFP only doctor you can also check with the Pope Paul VI Institute – http://www.popepaulvi.com or http://www.creightonmodel.com
Re: age and having children —
The National Catholic Register had an interesting article on the subject about four years ago:
http://ncregister.com/site/article/5447
(You have to be a subscriber to read it, though.)
Kristina,
I have owned a Bosch Universal 700W for about 4 years and absolutely love it! It was recommended to me by a friend and it does an outstanding job with bread dough. It is pretty indestructible.
Catherine
For women in the Washington DC Metro area, I go to a great wonderful NFP-only practice in Fairfax, VA with SIX pro-life doctors- the Tepeyac Family Center. http://www.tepeyacfamilycenter.com/
On maternal age: my mother was 47 when she had the youngest of her nine children. My “little” brother’s a healthy teen-ager now. If you’re in good health and feel called to add to your family, why not?
But as Lisa in TX wrote above, it’s okay not to be actively trying–care of the children we already have and the restoration of maternal health are legitimate reasons to postpone, too.
God bless!
My kids are not in public school but are in a non-Catholic, Christian school. We do religious ed thru our parish. In fact, I teach 2nd grade every year. I have had both my sons in my class. The parish uses the Faith and Life series from Ignatius, which is very solid. They allow homeschoolers and other interested families to do religious ed on their own if they wish. But I wanted my children (particularly my oldest!) to see that lots of people believe these things and learn about their faith, not just our family. Also, the church has a great need for religious ed. teachers. It has really become our family’s apostolate. My husband and I teach, and the kids go to class (one of them with us, one in another class, and the baby comes along and plays while I teach.) That has been our experience and it has been a very good one. Pray about what direction to take and I’ll pray to that the Father’s will is clear to you!
I just wanted to pop back on here and say a quick American Idol Comment. I don’t know if any of you are watchers, usually I don’t have time, but I just LOVE David Archuletta. He’s 17 and completely adorable. He’s got an amazing voice to match. Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest. ;o) Good luck, David!