Aimee – I had the same problem as your daughter as a child in school. My mom was also very much like you – letting us kids hash things out. But somewhere, the meanness and teasing went overboard. (My younger sister had the bully’s younger sibling in her class pestering her too!) Maybe it was the millionth time I came to the car sobbing….
She talked to the teacher and let her know this girl was bullying me. My mom said she didn’t want us sitting near each other, and the teacher to keep an eye on the situation and correct this girl when necessary. On a couple occasions, she actually confronted the girl herself (nicely of course). And eventually, spoke with the parents about it. (The mother was just as much a bully as her girls….)
Anyway, point being, there is a time and place for your kids to learn to stand for themselves, but it is also our duties as parents to be the voice for our children at times to protect them and their innocence.
We love David A. in our house to. Just seems like such a sweet, wholesome kid. Gives new hope for the youth. I appreciate how he tries to pick songs with a positive message. My kids are convinced he’s got to be a Catholic. They say he’s too nice not to be! 🙂
Tracysays
Dani,
I never went to preschool or playgroups and haven’t suffered a bit socially. I played with kids in the neighborhood and my sister. Preschool is nothing more than a glorified daycare. Don’t worry about it. 🙂
My kids are young and they won’t be going to preschool either – I homeschool my oldest, my 2nd will be starting with Kindergarten (at home) next school year. They get interaction with other kids – currently less because we’re military living overseas, but they have a couple friends they play with frequently because we’re good friends with the parents.
If we’re at a playground, they get interaction there, and my oldest also played soccer and was in a childrens’ choir. Being a smaller military/diplomatic community here, many times the girls wouldn’t give the time of day to my oldest daughter – I guess because they don’t see her often like at school and they didn’t know her too well – even though she was in some weekly activities with them. Some were really rather snobby and rude when my daughter approached them to join in playing and turned their backs and walked off.
It’s a little different for us because we move frequently, but we stay in touch with some of our old friends and their kids, and of course we make new friends wherever we go – including other homeschooling families. My kids are not socially handicapped, and I don’t necessarily want the influence of the general public on how they talk and act. Their friends in the States tend to mostly be other Catholic homeschooled children.
Mollysays
Jeannie-
No the third row was still there, but the rear of the van was pushed up against the seat. If we had people in the 3rd row, they probably would have been banged up and cut (from the three back windows blowing out), but I would hope they would be okay. The seats were in tact, but the back window was pushed up against the back of the seat. Honestly, I’m suprised it held up as good as it did.
Best of luck.
Molly
Midwest Momsays
Re Preschool – I have done a Montessori pre-school, home schooled pre-school and nothing. After all that, I agree that pre-school is not necessary, but it sure is nice when you have even younger kids and a new baby!
I think I’ve found the prefect solution – for us at least. I currently have my 4 & 5 year olds enrolled at a program run by the local high school. The girls take child development/teaching 101 in the fall and then in the spring run a pre-school M-Th for 1 hour 45 minutes each day. The girls rotate being the teacher, the aide, observing or planning. It is really great. My boys get a TON of attention (there’s 4 “teachers” for every one child!) and they get to do some really interesting crafts. Most importantly, I’ve picked up a couple of babysitters 🙂 Every high school in our area offers a similar program. Oh, did I mention that it’s only $70 per child for 15 weeks of “school”? A great deal!
Jennifersays
Claudia,
We transferred our children from Catholic to public school a few years ago and we’ve been very happy with our choice. In fact, I didn’t expect to like the school so much and we’ve seen far more Christian charity in the public realm than we did at our parochial school.
For the first year, I enrolled our children in our parish CCD program. I taught my son’s class and my other children attended on their own. Then I found out that the DRE was very hospitable to homeschooling CCD and using other programs. So now I teach my children on my own. I follow the DRE’s calendar more or less, and have them do her midterm and final. You may just want to talk to the DRE at your parish and find out what he or she permits or not.
anonymoussays
To Carmen:
Please spare a thought for the infertile out there on Mother’s Day, would you? For us, Mother’s Day even once a year is like being knifed in the heart. To have it come more than once a year would be brutal.
I know exactly how you feel. We’re military and it was very hard for me to put my daughter in daycare, but with dh at sea and bills to pay, I worked full time. Here’s what I did: 1)Found daycare close to work so I could nurse her at lunchtime; 2) Pumped, even though it wasn’t easy to persuade my fellow warehouse employees that I wasn’t asking for permission to do it – so my dd could drink breast milk as long as possible; 3) Started making long-term plans to figure out a way to stay home and make money. Those plans turned into 2 years of me doing home daycare. It was hard work but I was happy because I was home with my kids. The Navy has sent us to some non-daycare-friendly places since, and so now I’m freelance writing and blogging instead – and I am still home. It’s not easy (our cars are ancient and our house is small), and it took us a while to get to this place.
You may find that you’ll need to work for a good long while, depending on your family’s needs, and there is no crime in working to support your family. You need to provide a stable and healthy home for your kids. Don’t feel guilty for doing what needs to be done. What works for another family might not be what God calls your family to do; sometimes it’s hard to ignore criticism, especially when total strangers dish it out by the truckload, but try.
Allow yourself time to play with your daughter every day when you both get home. Stick dinner in the crockpot or plan a Rachael Ray meal so you don’t spend hours cooking – it’s way more fun to play with your baby! Enjoy her – take her on walks with your husband, read board books to her and snuggle a lot. It will help.
I’ll keep you in my prayers…I know this is a hard time.
Joansays
To Julie, regarding another baby. Find another doctor!!! I had my first at 38 and our fifth when I was 44. My doctor was great. I said I am a little worried about my age and he said I’m not and that was the end of the conversation. If you feel it is in you, then go for it. A woman in my homeschool said it best, we had Anthony when I was 48, we considered him a bonus from the Blessed Mother. AMEN
Aimee – I had the same problem as your daughter as a child in school. My mom was also very much like you – letting us kids hash things out. But somewhere, the meanness and teasing went overboard. (My younger sister had the bully’s younger sibling in her class pestering her too!) Maybe it was the millionth time I came to the car sobbing….
She talked to the teacher and let her know this girl was bullying me. My mom said she didn’t want us sitting near each other, and the teacher to keep an eye on the situation and correct this girl when necessary. On a couple occasions, she actually confronted the girl herself (nicely of course). And eventually, spoke with the parents about it. (The mother was just as much a bully as her girls….)
Anyway, point being, there is a time and place for your kids to learn to stand for themselves, but it is also our duties as parents to be the voice for our children at times to protect them and their innocence.
God bless!
We love David A. in our house to. Just seems like such a sweet, wholesome kid. Gives new hope for the youth. I appreciate how he tries to pick songs with a positive message. My kids are convinced he’s got to be a Catholic. They say he’s too nice not to be! 🙂
Dani,
I never went to preschool or playgroups and haven’t suffered a bit socially. I played with kids in the neighborhood and my sister. Preschool is nothing more than a glorified daycare. Don’t worry about it. 🙂
My kids are young and they won’t be going to preschool either – I homeschool my oldest, my 2nd will be starting with Kindergarten (at home) next school year. They get interaction with other kids – currently less because we’re military living overseas, but they have a couple friends they play with frequently because we’re good friends with the parents.
If we’re at a playground, they get interaction there, and my oldest also played soccer and was in a childrens’ choir. Being a smaller military/diplomatic community here, many times the girls wouldn’t give the time of day to my oldest daughter – I guess because they don’t see her often like at school and they didn’t know her too well – even though she was in some weekly activities with them. Some were really rather snobby and rude when my daughter approached them to join in playing and turned their backs and walked off.
It’s a little different for us because we move frequently, but we stay in touch with some of our old friends and their kids, and of course we make new friends wherever we go – including other homeschooling families. My kids are not socially handicapped, and I don’t necessarily want the influence of the general public on how they talk and act. Their friends in the States tend to mostly be other Catholic homeschooled children.
Jeannie-
No the third row was still there, but the rear of the van was pushed up against the seat. If we had people in the 3rd row, they probably would have been banged up and cut (from the three back windows blowing out), but I would hope they would be okay. The seats were in tact, but the back window was pushed up against the back of the seat. Honestly, I’m suprised it held up as good as it did.
Best of luck.
Molly
Re Preschool – I have done a Montessori pre-school, home schooled pre-school and nothing. After all that, I agree that pre-school is not necessary, but it sure is nice when you have even younger kids and a new baby!
I think I’ve found the prefect solution – for us at least. I currently have my 4 & 5 year olds enrolled at a program run by the local high school. The girls take child development/teaching 101 in the fall and then in the spring run a pre-school M-Th for 1 hour 45 minutes each day. The girls rotate being the teacher, the aide, observing or planning. It is really great. My boys get a TON of attention (there’s 4 “teachers” for every one child!) and they get to do some really interesting crafts. Most importantly, I’ve picked up a couple of babysitters 🙂 Every high school in our area offers a similar program. Oh, did I mention that it’s only $70 per child for 15 weeks of “school”? A great deal!
Claudia,
We transferred our children from Catholic to public school a few years ago and we’ve been very happy with our choice. In fact, I didn’t expect to like the school so much and we’ve seen far more Christian charity in the public realm than we did at our parochial school.
For the first year, I enrolled our children in our parish CCD program. I taught my son’s class and my other children attended on their own. Then I found out that the DRE was very hospitable to homeschooling CCD and using other programs. So now I teach my children on my own. I follow the DRE’s calendar more or less, and have them do her midterm and final. You may just want to talk to the DRE at your parish and find out what he or she permits or not.
To Carmen:
Please spare a thought for the infertile out there on Mother’s Day, would you? For us, Mother’s Day even once a year is like being knifed in the heart. To have it come more than once a year would be brutal.
To Erin (late, sorry!):
I know exactly how you feel. We’re military and it was very hard for me to put my daughter in daycare, but with dh at sea and bills to pay, I worked full time. Here’s what I did: 1)Found daycare close to work so I could nurse her at lunchtime; 2) Pumped, even though it wasn’t easy to persuade my fellow warehouse employees that I wasn’t asking for permission to do it – so my dd could drink breast milk as long as possible; 3) Started making long-term plans to figure out a way to stay home and make money. Those plans turned into 2 years of me doing home daycare. It was hard work but I was happy because I was home with my kids. The Navy has sent us to some non-daycare-friendly places since, and so now I’m freelance writing and blogging instead – and I am still home. It’s not easy (our cars are ancient and our house is small), and it took us a while to get to this place.
You may find that you’ll need to work for a good long while, depending on your family’s needs, and there is no crime in working to support your family. You need to provide a stable and healthy home for your kids. Don’t feel guilty for doing what needs to be done. What works for another family might not be what God calls your family to do; sometimes it’s hard to ignore criticism, especially when total strangers dish it out by the truckload, but try.
Allow yourself time to play with your daughter every day when you both get home. Stick dinner in the crockpot or plan a Rachael Ray meal so you don’t spend hours cooking – it’s way more fun to play with your baby! Enjoy her – take her on walks with your husband, read board books to her and snuggle a lot. It will help.
I’ll keep you in my prayers…I know this is a hard time.
To Julie, regarding another baby. Find another doctor!!! I had my first at 38 and our fifth when I was 44. My doctor was great. I said I am a little worried about my age and he said I’m not and that was the end of the conversation. If you feel it is in you, then go for it. A woman in my homeschool said it best, we had Anthony when I was 48, we considered him a bonus from the Blessed Mother. AMEN