Hair care tip:
My Princess has her daddy’s curly hair and it was only through tips from fellow bloggers that I didn’t shave it off. Most of that advise is in the comments here: don’t wash as often, use good conditioner and let it soak a while, use a wide tooth comb to get knots out before rinsing the conditioner, detangling spray before styling.
But I have 2 more golden nuggets to offer.
1) If most of the knots appear overnight get your daughter a satin or silk pillowcase. It takes twice as long to do Princess’s hair if she sleeps on a less slippery material. You wouldn’t believe the rat’s nest created by flannel.
2) Provide distraction while styling in the morning. Princess doesn’t notice small tugs if she’s busy with her letter tracing book, singing silly songs or watching TV. And some mornings this Grumpy Mommy needs all the extra help she can get in keeping her sanity.
PMsays
About being idstruped during Mass….
one Easter Sunday a young couple sat behind us and talked through the whole Mass like they were at a social event. I gave them glares which didn’t work but eventually just asked them to be quiet. I was snarky and a sleep deprived mom at the time who just wanted to celebrate Easter.
I wish I would have handled it differently and turned around when Mass was over and welcomed them and talked with them.
They obviously never go to Mass and this was a moment where they could have been welcomed and embraced.
As for the family with 7 kids under 7 that are not behaving. Maybe it would be helpful if we imagined what else they might be going through. Perhaps the parents are so stressed and exhausted they can’t cope with it all. I think of the hard times some families are going through and realize why they can’t keep their kids in control.
I know that sounds like an excuse but perhaps if we blend 2 perspectives we could solve the misbehaving children problem.
I know some families are adamantly against it but perhaps it would be helpful to provide a church nursery for ages 1 to 3. We have one and although we did not use it consistently it was very helpful when we were going through hard times with physical and mental illness. Just to have one hr per week to be with God was wonderful. For those that have strong opinions against a church nursery, they just don’t use it.
Kathysays
Kelly,
I appreciate your passion for the Holy Mass and I too have wished that certain families would (IMHO) do a better job of controlling their children. It is entirely reasonable to ask ourselves how another might feel before we (or the Pastor) correct them – to look at it from their point of view. If our goal is to correct in love I would hope we could all agree that it should be done kindly and with respect. If someone’s spiritual life is deeply disturbed by the out of control children, then I suggest their spiritual life may not be so deep. Your tone seems mean-spirited, judgmental and very unkind and I am trying to understand why you are so black/white about this.
I haven’t read any other responses yet so please forgive me if I’ve repeated what someone else said. I have 3 children and am expecting my 4th any day now. My 6 year old and 4 year old share a room and my 2 year old has her own room right now. When I need her crib for the baby (probably around Thanksgiving or Christmas) I will move her into her sisters’ room. They are all excited about sharing a room together. If this baby is another girl then eventually I will have 2 girls in each room. If this one is a boy then the 3 girls will end up together for the long run. We don’t look at it as a really big deal to share rooms. I always think that maybe if my sister and I had shared a room at some point while growing up then we would be closer than we are. Maybe, maybe not. But my girls are really close to each other and seem to like sharing rooms at this point.
Dianesays
For those who think we should feel for the parents who don’t make their children behave during church,
If these people truly have the problems that all of you suggest, maybe a talk with the Priest would be helpful for them. This is why I think those with a problem should go the rout of talking to the Priest (Notice I said talking not telling on) instead of taking things into their own hands. Priests are not just men who come in off of the streets and say Mass but they are men who have went through many years of teachings, not only on
“How” to say Mass but also in the areas of communication as well as being taught to pray on things and go about things in the way that God has intended. Most Priests ( at least all whom I have ever met) would not go after these people accusing them but would loving go at the subject in a way which would give these people a chance to say That they have so much going on that they have just been letting their kids go or whatever. This would then allow the Priest to offer help in any way that is fitting. This could be a Blessing to these people, after all how can your parish help if the need is not known?
Elizabethsays
I just wanted to add a quick comment about the children misbehaving in church. I think that there is always something behind an annoyance and we, especially as mothers, should be understanding. Maybe a mother ignores her child’s bad behavior because she figures he will stop if he gets no reaction (many children love attention – whether positive or negitive). Maybe she is tired and just trying to hear part of the sermon without fighting with her child. Who knows – but I think we should realize that this mother is at least going to church and should be encouraged to continue.
A few months ago a gentleman sat behind me in church and snapped his gum over and over again. I wanted to scream “STOP THAT” since gum snapping can be the most annoying of noises, especially in the quietness church. But then I reminded myself that my own father has to chew gum in church because after his cancer and treatments his mouth is so dry that if he were not chewing gum he would be coughing the whole time at church. I told myself that maybe this man had somewhat of a similar problem and just did not realize how loudly he was chewing. There can be a reason behind everything. With church attendance being so low we should be proud of those who do make an effort, especially those struggling mothers with challenging children.
kellysays
*shakes head* You call me “very unkind”, yet I’m the one who’s “judgmental”?
Yeah, you’re right. Never mind about the abominable desecration of the Holy Eucharist. If that works for them, who are we to judge? And one should never use plain-spoken language, so calling someone, oh, something like a “brood of vipers” is way over the top and un-Christ-like.
The temple is a holy place; the place of the Father, but, hey, those poor people really didn’t know how special it was and after all, they were just making money to feed their families. How weak is your spiritual life if it disturbs you because some people simply needed to do some honest business in the church? How much better would it have been if Christ softly pleaded with them to recognize the holy of holies, and with a tear in his eye, gently shown them how it would be better for them to stop this desecration and just join him in prayer? And never consider that there is a time to topple over tables – that’s money to feed their hungry babies! – and pulling out a whip – a weapon! Oh, the violence! – and driving them away from church, most likely forever. How judgemental.
Oh, do I love my manly, Christ-like Msgr. Pastor. God bless him.
Now, please don’t anyone come back and say that I’m insinuating that the paster should throw these people out. That is NOT the point. The point is that the pastor must maintain a holy reverence for the Mass; our Mass is much, MUCH holier than what was in the temple at the time of Christ. And wild, uncontrollable behavior has no place there, no matter the ages, no matter the mental status, no matter the intention. That’s part of what a good pastor does. So I still see no reason whatsoever to do what I first said: inform the pastor. This should not be allowed to continue.
Raesays
To Catherine re: miscarriages- I have had two miscarriages. The first was my second pregnancy. I miscarried at 16 weeks. Our difficulty in conceiving afterward lead us to Natural Family Planning classes to learn more about my cycle. I found I had a progesterone deficiency (luteal phase deficiency). Not necessarily the cause of my miscarriage. We did become pregnant 1 year and 2 months after this miscarriage. During that year, every time my period started, I was devastated. I realized my sadness was more related to missing my baby who died. As I approached the one year anniversary, I noticed when my period started I was sad more for not being pregnant than for missing my baby who died (not that I didn’t but I was in a different place if that makes sense). I was more ready for a new pregnancy. My second miscarriage (4th pregnancy) occured right after I found out I was pregnant. And I became pregnant the next month. Very different. I’ve had five pregnancies now- three live children. I believe the two babies who died are in heaven and with God’s grace I will see them some day. How I came to handle the fear and uncertainty of each pregnancy after my first miscarriage is this: After experiencing difficulty conceiving, I felt so happy to be pregnant that I celebrated each day of being pregnant. I felt, “I don’t know about tomorrow, but today I am pregnant and I am so happy to have this little life with me.” Also, be sure to check out resources at Elizabeth Ministry (do a search -may have new website).
I won’t delete anything, but I will shut off comments now.
Here’s something for all of us to keep in mind about internet communications: They are flawed. When you read a typed comment, you can’t hear the writer’s tone. And tone is important.
Someone might type something in an apologetic, seeking, or even defensive state of mind, but then someone else can read those very words and “hear” anger and/or hostility. The second person feels misunderstood, responds, and things escalate from there until your phlegmatic hostess must intervene.
The craziest part is that most people, even if they might disagree on some small point, would absolutely be capable of discussing their differences in person without any anger or hurt feelings. It just doesn’t always work so smoothly in cyberspace.
So let’s take a deep breath, agree that we all love mothers and babies and we all want to do everything possible to revere Christ in the Eucharist, and now go enjoy the spring weather!
Hair care tip:
My Princess has her daddy’s curly hair and it was only through tips from fellow bloggers that I didn’t shave it off. Most of that advise is in the comments here: don’t wash as often, use good conditioner and let it soak a while, use a wide tooth comb to get knots out before rinsing the conditioner, detangling spray before styling.
But I have 2 more golden nuggets to offer.
1) If most of the knots appear overnight get your daughter a satin or silk pillowcase. It takes twice as long to do Princess’s hair if she sleeps on a less slippery material. You wouldn’t believe the rat’s nest created by flannel.
2) Provide distraction while styling in the morning. Princess doesn’t notice small tugs if she’s busy with her letter tracing book, singing silly songs or watching TV. And some mornings this Grumpy Mommy needs all the extra help she can get in keeping her sanity.
About being idstruped during Mass….
one Easter Sunday a young couple sat behind us and talked through the whole Mass like they were at a social event. I gave them glares which didn’t work but eventually just asked them to be quiet. I was snarky and a sleep deprived mom at the time who just wanted to celebrate Easter.
I wish I would have handled it differently and turned around when Mass was over and welcomed them and talked with them.
They obviously never go to Mass and this was a moment where they could have been welcomed and embraced.
As for the family with 7 kids under 7 that are not behaving. Maybe it would be helpful if we imagined what else they might be going through. Perhaps the parents are so stressed and exhausted they can’t cope with it all. I think of the hard times some families are going through and realize why they can’t keep their kids in control.
I know that sounds like an excuse but perhaps if we blend 2 perspectives we could solve the misbehaving children problem.
I know some families are adamantly against it but perhaps it would be helpful to provide a church nursery for ages 1 to 3. We have one and although we did not use it consistently it was very helpful when we were going through hard times with physical and mental illness. Just to have one hr per week to be with God was wonderful. For those that have strong opinions against a church nursery, they just don’t use it.
Kelly,
I appreciate your passion for the Holy Mass and I too have wished that certain families would (IMHO) do a better job of controlling their children. It is entirely reasonable to ask ourselves how another might feel before we (or the Pastor) correct them – to look at it from their point of view. If our goal is to correct in love I would hope we could all agree that it should be done kindly and with respect. If someone’s spiritual life is deeply disturbed by the out of control children, then I suggest their spiritual life may not be so deep. Your tone seems mean-spirited, judgmental and very unkind and I am trying to understand why you are so black/white about this.
LCL —
I haven’t read any other responses yet so please forgive me if I’ve repeated what someone else said. I have 3 children and am expecting my 4th any day now. My 6 year old and 4 year old share a room and my 2 year old has her own room right now. When I need her crib for the baby (probably around Thanksgiving or Christmas) I will move her into her sisters’ room. They are all excited about sharing a room together. If this baby is another girl then eventually I will have 2 girls in each room. If this one is a boy then the 3 girls will end up together for the long run. We don’t look at it as a really big deal to share rooms. I always think that maybe if my sister and I had shared a room at some point while growing up then we would be closer than we are. Maybe, maybe not. But my girls are really close to each other and seem to like sharing rooms at this point.
For those who think we should feel for the parents who don’t make their children behave during church,
If these people truly have the problems that all of you suggest, maybe a talk with the Priest would be helpful for them. This is why I think those with a problem should go the rout of talking to the Priest (Notice I said talking not telling on) instead of taking things into their own hands. Priests are not just men who come in off of the streets and say Mass but they are men who have went through many years of teachings, not only on
“How” to say Mass but also in the areas of communication as well as being taught to pray on things and go about things in the way that God has intended. Most Priests ( at least all whom I have ever met) would not go after these people accusing them but would loving go at the subject in a way which would give these people a chance to say That they have so much going on that they have just been letting their kids go or whatever. This would then allow the Priest to offer help in any way that is fitting. This could be a Blessing to these people, after all how can your parish help if the need is not known?
I just wanted to add a quick comment about the children misbehaving in church. I think that there is always something behind an annoyance and we, especially as mothers, should be understanding. Maybe a mother ignores her child’s bad behavior because she figures he will stop if he gets no reaction (many children love attention – whether positive or negitive). Maybe she is tired and just trying to hear part of the sermon without fighting with her child. Who knows – but I think we should realize that this mother is at least going to church and should be encouraged to continue.
A few months ago a gentleman sat behind me in church and snapped his gum over and over again. I wanted to scream “STOP THAT” since gum snapping can be the most annoying of noises, especially in the quietness church. But then I reminded myself that my own father has to chew gum in church because after his cancer and treatments his mouth is so dry that if he were not chewing gum he would be coughing the whole time at church. I told myself that maybe this man had somewhat of a similar problem and just did not realize how loudly he was chewing. There can be a reason behind everything. With church attendance being so low we should be proud of those who do make an effort, especially those struggling mothers with challenging children.
*shakes head* You call me “very unkind”, yet I’m the one who’s “judgmental”?
Yeah, you’re right. Never mind about the abominable desecration of the Holy Eucharist. If that works for them, who are we to judge? And one should never use plain-spoken language, so calling someone, oh, something like a “brood of vipers” is way over the top and un-Christ-like.
The temple is a holy place; the place of the Father, but, hey, those poor people really didn’t know how special it was and after all, they were just making money to feed their families. How weak is your spiritual life if it disturbs you because some people simply needed to do some honest business in the church? How much better would it have been if Christ softly pleaded with them to recognize the holy of holies, and with a tear in his eye, gently shown them how it would be better for them to stop this desecration and just join him in prayer? And never consider that there is a time to topple over tables – that’s money to feed their hungry babies! – and pulling out a whip – a weapon! Oh, the violence! – and driving them away from church, most likely forever. How judgemental.
Oh, do I love my manly, Christ-like Msgr. Pastor. God bless him.
Now, please don’t anyone come back and say that I’m insinuating that the paster should throw these people out. That is NOT the point. The point is that the pastor must maintain a holy reverence for the Mass; our Mass is much, MUCH holier than what was in the temple at the time of Christ. And wild, uncontrollable behavior has no place there, no matter the ages, no matter the mental status, no matter the intention. That’s part of what a good pastor does. So I still see no reason whatsoever to do what I first said: inform the pastor. This should not be allowed to continue.
To Catherine re: miscarriages- I have had two miscarriages. The first was my second pregnancy. I miscarried at 16 weeks. Our difficulty in conceiving afterward lead us to Natural Family Planning classes to learn more about my cycle. I found I had a progesterone deficiency (luteal phase deficiency). Not necessarily the cause of my miscarriage. We did become pregnant 1 year and 2 months after this miscarriage. During that year, every time my period started, I was devastated. I realized my sadness was more related to missing my baby who died. As I approached the one year anniversary, I noticed when my period started I was sad more for not being pregnant than for missing my baby who died (not that I didn’t but I was in a different place if that makes sense). I was more ready for a new pregnancy. My second miscarriage (4th pregnancy) occured right after I found out I was pregnant. And I became pregnant the next month. Very different. I’ve had five pregnancies now- three live children. I believe the two babies who died are in heaven and with God’s grace I will see them some day. How I came to handle the fear and uncertainty of each pregnancy after my first miscarriage is this: After experiencing difficulty conceiving, I felt so happy to be pregnant that I celebrated each day of being pregnant. I felt, “I don’t know about tomorrow, but today I am pregnant and I am so happy to have this little life with me.” Also, be sure to check out resources at Elizabeth Ministry (do a search -may have new website).
I won’t delete anything, but I will shut off comments now.
Here’s something for all of us to keep in mind about internet communications: They are flawed. When you read a typed comment, you can’t hear the writer’s tone. And tone is important.
Someone might type something in an apologetic, seeking, or even defensive state of mind, but then someone else can read those very words and “hear” anger and/or hostility. The second person feels misunderstood, responds, and things escalate from there until your phlegmatic hostess must intervene.
The craziest part is that most people, even if they might disagree on some small point, would absolutely be capable of discussing their differences in person without any anger or hurt feelings. It just doesn’t always work so smoothly in cyberspace.
So let’s take a deep breath, agree that we all love mothers and babies and we all want to do everything possible to revere Christ in the Eucharist, and now go enjoy the spring weather!