Coffee Talk Tuesday April 1, 2008 by Danielle Filed Under: Coffee Talk It’s time for Coffee Talk. What’s on your minds today?
Concerned Friend says
Hi Friends! I was hoping you could pray for my dear friend who lost her mother on Easter Sunday to a 5 long yr battle with cancer. She was very close to her mother and this is a devastating loss. Please pray for her marriage too. It is a new marriage with many obstacles and a new baby. Please pray for both husband and wife to be open to God’s grace.
Midwest Mom: I’m not sure this the exact quote you’re looking for, but I’ve found this browsing Brave New Family, a collection of essays Chesterton wrote about men, women, marriage and the family, etc. (terrific reading, btw):
“I have never understood myself how this superstition arose: the notion that a woman plays a lowly part in the home and a loftier part outside the home.”
(It’s taken from the essay The Glory of Home and Family)
Michelle Reitemeyer says
do you mean this one?:
How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.
From “The Emancipation of Domesticity”
I think the GK Chesterton quote you are looking for is as follows??
“How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone?”
It’s from “What’s Wrong With the World”
Midwest Mommy, here is the quote I think you are referring to:
“How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”
I actually did a post on it on my blog sometime ago; I love it!
I’m going through the same thing with my 3 little “scholars”, even the 5 year old doesn’t want to do school but watch movies all day! I certainly don’t let them, but the whining is driving me mad.
We are finishing up the last few subjects for the 3rd quarter so Will only has 4 and Mary is down to just a few pages of math- it still took 3 hours today! I’m worn out too, just want to lie on my bed and read novels (The Pink Carnation) while eating leftover Easter candy, not sit down with a crabby child to get that dreadful book report done.
So… you aren’t the only one and perhaps next week something will inspire us all the jump back into the saddle with unbridled enthusiasm. Until then, I guess we just have to put their fannies in the seat and just get it done.
Thanks Lady Hatton! I appreciate that. My prayers are with your fil and the whole family.
Carol- I agree that the milk is probably causing the waking. See what happens when you eliminate it. Does she tend to have tantrums during the day? That was also another sign that allergies were at work. Also, notice her bowel habits. Talk to your pediatrician if you have any other physical concerns.
Also, it could be just a habit now. (Coming into your bed.) I personally would take her back to her bed after a minute or two and tell her it is time to go to sleep. When my kids were little they always came in my bed, but I had to put my foot down once in a while. Also, is she potty trained yet? That could be causing her to wake up. Toilet her and send her back to bed.
Midwest Mom says
GB, Kristina, & Maria! Thanks so much your help. I was looking for the “How can it be a large career . . . ” quote. Wow. You guys are great.
To Carol says
regarding 2 yr. old sleeping badly-
my advice would be to totally get rid of the naps! I know this will be tough b/c you probably look forward to them and sleep too but… if you evaluate if you (and your husband!) really want to sleep at night, then to rid the naps and wear out your child to the max, this might help out too.
I have not yet read all the comments so this may be repetitive advice. I have 5 young children and the letting go of naps was the worst…. but in the end, worked out. Mine do not sleep perfectly either, but it is MUCH better, thank GOD! Keep praying and pray hard!!!
GKC quote (I love it!):
“..When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery…the difficulty arises from the double meaning of the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home — as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small improt to the soul, then as I say, I give up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whitely in a certain area, providing toys, books, cakes, and boots; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene, I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”
Re: Early Childhood Caries (baby bottlemouth), you might check the LLL site to see if the article in New Beginnings is there– studies indicate that breastmilk alone does not lead to carious growth, but if *any* refined sugar is there, caries can grow. So if you have brushed/rinsed out *all* the non-breastmilk sugars, the middle-night nursings will not encourage caries. Also, Early Childhood Caries present on the smooth sides of front teeth–molar caries are something else, and may be linked to raisins, etc. Early Childhood Caries are caused mainly by a specific bacteria, usually seems to be passed mother-child (sigh–more mommy guilt, right?), and may be linked to a particular developmental stage prenatally, something about developing strong dentin or not? I’ve dealt with it with one child, and so far seem to be avoiding it with #2… For anyone dealing with it now, you might also look at Xylitol (a kind of sugar) and the studies indicating that it slows the bacteria’s growth–they make dental gum with it and such.
For weaning, I’d recommend the book “Nursing Mother’s Guide to weaning” and parts of “Mothering your Nursing Toddler”. Also give some thought to what battles you are/aren’t prepared to fight. You may have a child who is still hungry in the middle of the night even when mother’s milk is no longer an option–I remember hearing a story from a mother whose son was so hungry mid-night that they would make him a sandwich and leave it in his crib/bed corner, and she said he still got up to have a snack even as a young adult 🙂 For night weaning specifically, it can help to pick a week or two when nothing especially stressful is going on in the rest of your life, as you (and your dh) may not be getting as much sleep as you’d like for the short-term. The rest of the day, you can often get away with putting it off for a bit/distracting/substituting, but nighttime can be hard.
Praying for all those mourning. And thanking God for my not-interested in-laws who would really rather not know, let alone ask 😉
For Jennifer – Our family doctor once told us about our organs having cycles and how 3am relates to the liver. His advice was to eat most of our protein in the early part of the day and not so much at dinner., as this could cause sleeplessness. I know this may not be what’s keeping you up at night, but it’s an easy non medical thing to try – just eating a light supper and not eating too much close to bedtime. I would definitely not go to bed later – maybe even earlier?
God bless you and good luck.
When your “baby” is 21 months, you can start talking to her about when it’s time to nurse. My second is a dedicated nurser with whom I’ve started to cut back — she’s 25 months and I’m pregnant with #3 — and even if she doesn’t take it too well sometimes, I have decided on the times that I’m willing to nurse her (within reason, of course) and the times that I’m not. I’ll tell her, “Oh, it’s not time,” when she asks. I offer stories, snacks, snuggles, time outside, distractions, whatever. It becomes easier to explain the ground rules for nursing, since they can understand a good deal of what we’re saying at this point.
The nighttime stuff is *much* more difficult, because it takes more effort in the short run, but is really worth it in the long run. Recently our daughter started waking up only 1 time per night, and it’s made a huge impact on my feeling rested. I would suggest the book The No Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley — there’s one for babies and one for toddlers — because she has lots of good, gentle suggestions for nursers and non-nursers alike.
The dental considerations I think vary a lot from child to child, as it seems in the above discussions. Keep an eye on your child’s teeth, but if you’re nursing for not too long one or two times a night, it probably won’t be too big a deal, at least for a little while.
Don’t feel too bad about the homeschooling/spring fever. We have it as well, but I tell you my way of dealing with it is a bit wimpy. I cut out anything we absolutely do not have to do, basically leaving the “Three R’s”. Then I bribe. The first one done gets to pick a movie/computer time/what dessert for dinner.
It’s not pretty, but it should get us through the next 8 weeks.
For Michelle: Frequent confession is a great idea to help your 9 year old, especially if you know of a priest who is good with children. You might also be able to channel that creativity in a positive direction by asking your child to write stories for your or any siblings’ entertainment!
Re: kids’ sleep problems. I have been reading this blog for several months. I love much of what I read here and find inspiration and support regularly. However, I am surprised (and saddened) at the number of moms who are exhausted and frustrated because of sleep deprivation. I know for myself that I am more patient, more energetic and happier when I am rested, and so are my husband and kids. Here’s our routine: From day one, I put my newborns to bed in their cribs in their room (not a swing, bouncy chair, my bed or in my room) for naps and bedtime, drowsy but awake, swaddled in a blanket, and without props (props are pacifiers, music, nursing to put them to sleep, a lovie, and anything else they become dependent on to fall sleep). The point of doing this from the beginning is to allow them to learn to fall asleep on their own. Yes, this did involve letting them cry sometimes, but I never let them cry for more than 10 minutes at a time without checking on them, and within a few weeks they stopped crying at bedtime nearly completely. All three of my children slept through the night (8-12 hours) within two months. I have breastfed all of them, though I don’t demand feed – our routine is to allow at least three hours between feedings to avoid “snacking” and encourage them to take full meals, which also helps with the sleeping issues. My sister and a few friends have the same routine, all with similar results. Others ask me how I do it and when I tell them, they reply that they can’t stand to let the baby cry, etc. But I ask them, is a little crying at naptime and bedtime for a couple of months any worse than a little (or a lot) of crying before sleeping for a couple of years? And isn’t a good night’s sleep good for everyone? Of course, this is just my way and I realize everyone has to figure out what works for them. It just makes me sad that so many women are exhausted and overburdened with the demands of their infants and toddlers. I’ve met moms before who think that a breastfed baby isn’t physically capable of going more than an hour or two without a feeding or sleeping for more than an hour or two at a time. In my experience, that just isn’t true for the great majority of babies. Best of luck to all moms dealing with these issues. May God bless you and your families.
I forgot to mention – though my comment above dealt primarily with infants, even toddlers can be taught better sleep habits. I have known moms to change their kids’ sleep routines at 18 months of age or older with success, and all the books I have read that support these types of routines give suggestions for how to implement them with a child that is already dependent on sleep props, bedtime bottles, etc.
Mary L. says
re: Night Terrors…We had 3 or 4 children have these around 2 years of age…unexplained screaming, panicked children, but still so out-of-it that they couldn’t be reasoned with..i.e. figure out what the cause was. With our first one who did this for many nights and after many prayers, I found a very simple solution. It has worked with the others also. Try this: comfort the child, and say ” Oh I’m so sorry,… was it a scary lion???… Did a lion scare you??? Oh you poor baby!!!”… Usually they can’t put a finger on what the terror is–so you supply it. They usually acknowledge the lion, relax completely, and go back to sleep quickly. I hope this helps.
We also had a hungry toddler, and kept an unpeeled banana in the windowsill to feed her at night, she ate and we all went back to sleep.
Also, the toddler not sleeping, could it be too much t.v. time ? Some children relax SO much for that 1/2 hr. or longer, that it IS their rest time…My SIL had a terrible time, but found it was the 3 hours of t.v. and many bottles of sugared juices that were thr root of her child not sleeping for “naps” or at all!!! God’s blessings to you all.
One idea for night terrors: holy water. We sometimes have nightmares in littles, and definitely before they receive “first” sacraments. guess who likes to scare children? Sometimes when my children are out playing I tour the house with my holy water bottle. In closets, under beds and even in the shower! Talk to St. Michael while you’re at it! I also love blessed salt for places that you can’t use water.
Thanks for the helpful advice re: lying. You are a wonderful bunch of ladies!
Thank you to all who replied! Now I need to use some of the good advice…
Spring fever??? I have it, too! I wish the cold weather would change so we could be outside more….
You know what I could use right now?
A little *Global Warming*!!!
Allison in AK says
Does anyone do online surveys for pay ( not coupons )? I’m afraid to send in any money to join, not knowing reputations. A little unbudgeted fast food dollars would be nice !
There are already a lot of good suggestions for Carol and her toddler who won’t sleep well. The thing is that we can each only offer ideas based on OUR experiences — but some of it might just apply. It never hurts to consider the possibilities. My daughter didn’t sleep well until after she was 2 as well. Part of it was that she had reflux. My son had had it very badly from birth through age 2 too (with constant vomiting) but we didn’t think my daughter had it because she didn’t vomit. But there is something called “silent reflux” and she actually ended up with issues because we discovered it later. Try a very gentle raising of her mattress (a couple folded towels underneath) so gravity helps and just a little water before bed. If it is reflux, a little Mylanta or Malox can help (and is safe even in infants).
Thank you all and God bless!
I haven’t read all of the e-mails, but, I just wanted to chime in here. We co-sleep with our babies and I get TONS of sleep. I have 5 children, 7 and under, and keeping our babies close at night has not taken away from our sleep, love life, etc. I just want to encourage people to trust their instincts, pray, and discover what is best for YOUR family. Each family is different! God bless you all… you awesome mothers, you!!!!
A conversation after reading yesterday’s post…
Me: How insane is that Danielle Bean?
My wife: Pretty “insane, thank you for noticing.” She must be starved for adventure.
Me: Starved for sanity, more like it.
Ah, but we said it with affection, Danielle! 12 hours in one day — what’s your secret? Anyone else have any road trip secrets to share?
I am looking for a series of bible stories for children ages 5-8. When I was little we had a set of books with nice illustrations and the stories were very kid friendly. Unfortunately, my parents gave the books away and don’t remember the name of the series. Does any one have a suggestion?
We, also, have a 2 year old suffering with sleep issues and our pediatrician told us that we need to ‘cure’ this ASAP because they could have other problems later on when they get older. He said it could interfere with their ability to learn later.
So, we’re still, after months of this, ‘diagnosing’ the problem. We keep a sleep chart and are searching for a ‘pattern’ of wakeup which could help figure out what the problem is. Ours isn’t night terrors but could be similar to them, just not as bad. The goal is for us to stay in our room and let the 2 year old put himself back to sleep. Sometimes that’s easier said than done though! Occasionally, we let him cry it out. Though he has been known to awake and talk and play in the crib from 3-5am! At least it’s not screaming. We seem to go in spurts though because for the last several weeks, he hasn’t been waking much throughout the night. On occasion he’ll make a loud cry and rock a little in the crib, not completely awake though, and then be quietly back asleep within a few minutes WITHOUT either of us going in to cover him or check on him.
Oh, and one more thing… we had his iron levels checked and he was on an iron supplement and multivitamin for a few months and now he’s just on the multivitamin. Apparently kids with sleep issues can have low iron levels and correcting the iron sometimes helps the sleep issues. Ask your pediatrician about that. Ours said many families will try everything and end up taking their child to a sleep institute and spend around $5000 out of pocket to be told their child had a low iron level. Checking iron levels is apparently common for people with sleep issues. Anyway, from experience I would recommend keeping a sleep chart and checking the iron levels. Hope that helps! : )
For those who asked how to vote for the College Fund:
Just a quick reminder to vote! Thank you so very much for your help in
1. Go to: http://www.upromise.com/tuitiontales
2. Enter your email address
3. (If first time) Fill out form (name, address, etc.) and click “Submit”.
4. Our video is the one labeled “Our Coll…” (short for “Our College
Fund”). Click on the “Vote” button under it and click “Yes” to confirm
That’s all there is to it. UPromise has told me they will not use your
personal information for marketing. You also can then optionally play a
“Instant Win Game” to win a $50 gift card to “Bed, Bath and Beyond”. If
you win, you’ll need to become a member of UPromise to get the gift card.
— Christopher Kocmoud
Road trip advise? As a frequent car traveler, I would say do not let your children drink juice, soda or too much water in the car lest you want to have to stop frequently to go to the bathroom. We also pack the car the night before and get up and go the first thing in the morning. I’d rather put in a few hours before 9 am, then stop for a quick breakfast. DVD players are great, so are Ipods and Gameboys, but for some of my children, crayons and coloring books are just fine. I also have the children clean out the car at every stop.
Lisa: Can you provide any reference for the idea that 3am is Satan’s hour? I’ve never hear that and am curious. Thanks.
oops. I just noticed that I wrote “e-mails” when these are obviously “COMMENTS!” There goes my credibility… 😛 🙂
So, people, do our brain cells ever regenerate after they fall out with the placentas???? I’m serious. Do I look like I’m kidding?
Please do not take an esophageal reflux lightly. A baby or toddler that has this needs medical care. Over time, the erosion of the esophagus can lead to cancer. Get medical advice and be persistant with your child’s care. God bless!
It’s wonderful to hear your success with co-sleeping. Is there a book you can recommend for a friend of mine who is having her first baby in May and wants to try co-sleeping but is afraid of all the negative things she hears from other moms who tell her they hardly ever sleep and their love life is nonexistent? She needs some practical “how-to” advice and you sound like someone who might know where to get that. Thanks!
My copy of Dr. William Sears’ “The Baby Book” is falling apart because I used it as my “what do I do with this first baby??” reference. I checked Amazon and found that you can take a peek at the contents on-line there. I hope this is helpful! Thanks, Jan!
COSLEEPING: Well, Jan, I’m not Shivaun, but if you want a good text on cosleeping, try looking for a book by Dr. James McKenna. I believe it came out within the last few months. This gentleman has written articles for a number of years in defense of cosleeping. He has a mother-infant sleep lab at the University of Notre Dame, and has conducted extensive research. My husband and I are committed cosleepers despite the naysayers in our circle of friends and family, with all four of our children. (Not all four at once!) This had not been our plan with our first baby, but we just fell into it. Baby number 1 was a big spitter-upper, and crazed first time mom that I was, I felt certain that she’d spit up in the middle of the night in her crib, aspirate, and die. So, I kept her close to me, to be able to monitor her during the night, and on her side so she wouldn’t aspirate. That was how I discovered the convenience of having a baby in bed with me.
I love having our babies right next to me all night, knowing that they are safe, warm, and inches from nursing, if need be. Cosleeping can be done safely and successfully, but there are some practical safety considerations. If I recall from prior reading, cosleeping can be risky for those who are addicted to alcohol, consciousness-altering drugs, or who are morbidly obese, as these factors can contribute to “over-laying” your baby. McKenna’s or another’s text will probably delineate these and other precautions.
Another decent book is by Tine Thinevin (spelling?), and I think its title is The Family Bed. LaLecheLeague’s website at llli.org probably has it. It’s been years since I looked at this book, but if I recall correctly, it is more of a text on the benefits of cosleeping, instead of a “how-to” manual.
3 A.M. WAKING: Whenever I wake up at that time of night, I pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Sometimes I discern for whom to pray the Chaplet, but other times, I just tell God to use my prayer for whoever’s soul needs it most. If 3 p.m. is the hour of great mercy during the day, then perhaps its counterpart in the night can be used in the same way. Or if 3 a.m. is Satan’s hour, as someone in this string suggested, how better to counter him than with prayer?
MOURNING: Amen to what Therese had so say. God has a plan, and we must submit ourselves to it, and cooperate, no matter how nonsensical and painful it may be to our mortal selves. We can’t ask those “why” questions of God, and that’s so frustrating, especially for those of us who seek to know Him more fully. Sometimes it helps me to keep in mind Mary’s unconditional fiat, her absolute submission to God’s will, and just think of what she endured watching Jesus’ passion. God bless you and your family, Joan.
Thanks for all the advice! I really feel like I had coffee with a bunch of other mom’s and talked about mom stuff!
We currently live in the UK so it is already morning for us and last night went better. I took a few ideas (like making sure she was dry all night. She tends to drink so much she gets very wet so, rather than wait until she leaks or something, I just changed her diaper as soon as she woke. I also gave her a bottle of mile in the middle of the night on the hunch that she was hungry. She did sleep better only up two times around 10pm and 1:30 and only needed a little soothing to get back to sleep. So, I will keep looking at the allergies, though I don’t think it is milk, we tried cutting that out a year ago. She only drinks goat milk or lactose free so lactose intollerance is unlikely.
I will also look out for other allergies….the iron thing is interesting, I should check that out.
Anyway, thanks again!
Marie M says
Hi ladies, I’m a little late to the discussion, but here’s a great book on after-death appearances. My brother gave me this book for Christmas many years ago, and I love reading it! It is filled with not only examples of how many saints (and regular joes too) visited people after their death, but also gives many of the stories behind the miracles that are required for a saint’s canonization. The book is called “Messengers: After Death Appearances of Saints and Mystics” and is written by Patricia Treece.
Jan, I applaud you. First you tell us how you have successfully gotten your babies to sleep on their own using techniques that may be considered controversial to some. Then you ask a mom who posted about co-sleeping if she could give you advice on a book for a friend of yours who wants to co-sleep. I sense in you a true spirit of charity toward the methods others choose to use, while not feeling threatened by them. What is more, you are willing to go find out info for your friend who wants to raise her baby in a different way from you! I think that is called humility. God bless you!
Have a great day ladies!
Ashlyn ~ Well, hmmm, don’t know if I can provide any references right off the top of my head, though I guess I could google it. Our priest told us about this. The devil uses this hour to mock the time that Christ died. I’ve also heard that it’s a mockery of the Blessed Trinity. Certainly, the devil can use wakings at this hour to torment people. And some may be called upon to pray against evil in the world at this time. I don’t think it’s a thing that can be either proven or disproved. But, I think you’ll find that priests who have had dealings with exorcisms and combatting the occult will verify that 3 am is a very active time.
Marie M says
I looked up the Satan’s hour idea and here’s what I found from Yahoo answers (not a very reliable source):
“This common myth comes from the 2005 film The Exorcism of Emily Rose, the witching hour is referred to as occurring at 3 A.M., as opposed to midnight. In the film it is said that this is the hour each night when demons mock the Holy Trinity, and also that it is the opposite of three o’clock in the afternoon, the hour when Jesus Christ is traditionally believed to have died during the crucifixion. However this is just pure superstition.”
They purport it as a “myth” or “superstition” but I’d be interested to hear what an expert on exorcism (someone from the Catholic Church) would say. I certainly would never doubt that the devil is alive an active. It is not something to be fearful about (that’s what the devil wants) but for those of us who wake at 3 am (for me it’s usually a baby), this “3 am” thought gives me more fuel for prayer at that hour!
Ashlyn, re: the 3:00 am hour – I have mostly heard about this on Relevant Radio (Drew Mariano has had guests who’ve discussed it). Our tradition (?) is that Christ died at 3:00 pm – our hour of salvation. The opposite is 3:00 am which I, too, have heard is a time for evil (black masses, etc.). I, too, went through a period when I woke almost nightly between 2:58- 3:02 am. It’s quite alarming initially. It doesn’t happen too much anymore but when it does, I look at it as an opportunity to pray for whoever is in great need at the time.
THis 3am thing is interesting because for about a month when I was first pregnant I would wake up several times a week at exactly 3am. Strange!
Shivaun, Peggy and Marie M,
Thanks for the book recommendations – I will definitely pass them along to my friend. Marie, I appreciate your compliments, but they imagine me to be much better than I really am. Being open-minded and supportive of others’ choices (especially when they are markedly different from my own) is often difficult for me. I try to remind myself that there are many ways to get from point A to point B, and though they are different, they all get you there in the end. Many of us prefer different routes for different reasons. But it doesn’t help to argue about whose route is right or condemn those that are different from the one you’ve chosen for yourself. The best we can do is to share our own experiences and encourage those beginning the journey to read and talk to people and discern which way is best for them. Easier said than done, but definitely something to aspire to. And who knows, maybe sometimes in the process we learn something we didn’t know before and gain new respect for those different than us or even change our own minds.
In case you’re interested (you’re probably not, but I’ll tell you anyway!) most recent “conversion” came after a new friend that I met in our homeschooling group told me she uses cloth diapers. I think my mouth actually gaped open. I had never met anyone before who cloth diapered (except my mom, whose shared memories of cloth diapering aren’t exactly inspiring). Well, I found out that cloth diapering today is nothing like that of our mothers’ time, and am now using them with our third child. It is so much easier than I expected, and good for the budget and the environment too. I only wish I had been more informed so I could have done it with my first two children.
Finally, I really appreciate that this is a forum where all are seekers of what is true and good, ideas are discussed without judgment and support abounds for moms in all situations. A microcosm of what the world should be! Wouldn’t that be heaven on earth?
Donna — Breastfeeding is NOT linked to tooth decay! A great article on this can be found at http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/tooth-decay.html. Unfortunately most pediatricians don’t know much about breastfeeding because it isn’t taught in medical schools, so bad advice is commonplace. If you want advice on weaning a toddler, I’d contact your local La Leche League Leader or its toll-free hotline for 24-hour help.
Diane – It’s so interesting that you mention ghosts, because my MIL has told my husband that she has had visions of her mother after she passed away. We were skeptical because my MIL tends to exaggerate everything, but when we were visiting my husband’s grandfather, we both noticed that items were misplaced on shelves and also one night we heard footsteps downstairs, very distinctly. I love what someone said about praying for the repose of these souls – that should seem obvious, and yet it’s something we haven’t done. Thanks for the suggestion!
Carol – our oldest son had night waking at around that age. At 23 months we simply brought him to bed with us. That stopped his night wakings. He has such a vivid imagination, we believe he was having nightmares, as he would be scared of “bears” and “monsters” (thanks Veggie Tales!) in the dark. He also learned the “God is bigger than the boogie man” song from Where’s God When I’m Scared, which seemed to help! If you don’t like the idea of a family bed at this age, perhaps you could set up a little bed somewhere in your room and let him sleep in there?
Jan – I love and highly recommend Dr. Popcak’s book on parenting, as well as all of those by Dr. Sears; they’re both Christian (Popcak is Catholic and his basis is Theology of the Body). And glad to hear you’re a fellow cloth diaper lover now! ?
Just a quickie note on the breastfeeding -tooth decay topic: Some children, most notably preemies, can be born with deficient calcium on their teeth. Two of my babies had this problem, and had very early carries, though they had to be bottle fed (with no bad habits, either, actually) I don’t know this for a fact, but I would hazard a guess that this condition could cause even breastmilk to have a detrimental effect if baby’s habits cause the milk to “sit” on its teeth. It might warrant asking your dentist about.
Anonymous for today says
RE: Breastfeeding does NOT cause cavities.
My youngest had dental caries when he was less than 2 and was exclusively breastfed for over a year. The dentist told me that his enamel was weak and no matter what I did he would have gotten them. So, even though breastfeeding does not “cause” cavities, babies who are breastfed “can” get cavities at a young age. IT depends on the strength of the enamel on the teeth. BTW he was my only child who had that problem. The other 4 never had cavities and they were also breastfed to age 3 just like their brother.
Carol, my eldest son (now 19) would wake up screaming when he was a toddler. As he become more verbal, he could tell us that “his leg hurt” – he was having leg cramps. When he was four he began having dental problems. The leg cramps and tooth decay (and later insomnia) all pointed to a malabsorption of calcium and magnesium. Once we started mineral supplements and goat’s milk, his health improved greatly and he began sleeping better. My 5yo was also a poor sleeper for the first 3 years (my husband called him “Mr. NFP”) and ground his teeth at night. Calcium supplementation also helped him.