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Have you all been watching the WYD news coming out of Sydney these days? What else is new with you? What would you like to talk about today?
[tags]catholic family life, coffee talk, catholic moms[/tags]
Sharon,
How funny !!!!v I love the tip. I no longer have small children in strollers but hope to have grandchildren some day and would probably be just the person to try this lol Thanks for sharing
Carolyn & School Uniforms. . . .
You might check out Sears Kidvantage program. I know for sure with jeans whenever they “wear out” you can take them back and they will give you a new pair free. This is with their brand pants, but they will do it with Levis IF YOU HAVE YOUR RECEIPT! You might call your local Sears and check with them to see what that program entails, it may be for all pants.
Good luck!
Abigail –
Thanks for the tip! I’m horrible with patience and I’m sure this is God’s way to get me to grow in virtue! I don’t personally know this woman, but I feel drawn to her for some reason. They are a family in our Parish.
God bless all of you!
Marie,
I will keep you and your family in my prayers today.
Theresia,
We recently stayed in a Disney hotel in Orlando. There is an online grocery store – gardengrocer.com – that will deliver directly to the hotel. You can go online ahead of time to order everything. It is a bit more expensive than usual, but a huge savings compared to Disney prices. I hope you have a wonderful vacation 🙂
Hello and Blessings from Canada
Just in need of some advice and support. I will be having my fourth baby in Nov. while homeschooling grade 3 and grade 1, any suggestions on how to homeschool through this transition. I know lots of you ladies have done this and I was just interested in what you did , only core subjects, took time off and made it up over the summer? I have been praying and discerning what it is that I really need to teach this year. I have two boys and we used CHC last year and it was good, but I just don’t know if it’s possible to do this again, with a newborn. I have been putting off ordering because I really wanted to hear the wisdom of those who’ve done this and still want to homeschool afterwards, (:, anyway looking forward to hearing any suggestions. Thanks and hope that you are enjoying your summer vacations ladies.
Theresia,
RE: Trip to Florida
We got color coded t-shirts to wear each day. It was a great way to find the kids and the kids could find us; and the good samaritan could easily see where a kid belonged. Got cheap t-shirts at Michaels – green for day one; orange day two; bright yellow – you got the idea.
Enjoy the fun! Memories for everyone!
I have a question to ask all you holy ladies. What do you do when you have lost your physical attraction to your DH? I love mine dearly, more so than when I married him, but he has gained at least 50 pounds (maybe more) since then. I have definitely told him that I wish he would lose weight, but he has never been able to stick to any kind of program or exercise. Also, he refuses to go to a formal weight loss center or anything.
Furthermore, he is going to school in the evenings and working full time during the day — he’s incredibly busy. Even if he had the will to join a fitness club or something he doesn’t have the time. So the question is, how to handle this? I am actually a little bit repulsed by his body, although I know that it shouldn’t matter exactly.
I know how sensitive this is for anyone who struggles with being overweight, but at the same time, I find myself — pretending– when he wants to be close.
Any advice for a mom who is newly pregnant with #4 and just can’t seem to get excited about it? I am sure that I’ll feel differently when I am no longer nauseous. But I am worried about how I’ll handle 4, especially since I have no extended family support and many of my fellow parishioners think having more than 2 kids is weird – and if you were foolish enough to do it, you shouldn’t expect any help.
This seems stupid, because I know people have real problems and this doesn’t really count as one. Does anyone else have experience with this? Did you get excited once the morning sickness passed?
Confused Mommy:
Could it be that the 4 year old cousin just doesn’t know how to play with your 2 year old? IIrc, 2 year olds aren’t really ready to play *with* other children. Instead, they engage in “parallel play”. I imagine this could really annoy a 4 year old who doesn’t understand that the 2 year old just isn’t capable of playing the way he/she expects. If you want them to play well together, you may have to teach them how to play together. If that doesn’t go over well with the 4 year old’s parents, you may just have to keep them separate.
Kamala from Canada:
I’m expecting my first in a few weeks, so I’m not a homeschooling mom. I was homeschooled k-12, though.
Based on what I’ve seen work for growing families, I would suggest you order your books and start NOW. If you push, you should be able to get the first semester finished by the time Baby arrives. This gives you until the New Year for either a complete break or a very relaxed schedule. I would not suggest planning to go into next summer because, in my experience, morale will drop and you will be lucky if you finish before the next school year begins.
Just my 0.02.
anonymousWow this is a tough one. My husband and I have both gained quite a bit of weight through the years and I would be crushed to find out that he no longer finds me attractive. I can honestly say that I still find him as attractive as the day that I met him.The cold reality of life is that people change and sometimes not for the better. It sounds as though you really do love him and don’t want to feel this way but you just do. I notice that your post sounds to me as though you want help getting him to loose the weight but don’t ask for any on accepting him how he is. My guess would be that the key would be to try to focus on things that are still the same like maybe he has always had beautiful eyes. Or possibly focusing on his personality or the goodness inside him or the sweet way that he does things. Sort of trying to change you instead of him. this ,in my opinion, may bring about better results . Especially since more changes are probably around the corner and even if he did loose the weight and get the perfect body back, what if he looses his hair? What if he starts to wrinkle? What if an illness or injury leaves him with bodily flaws? I would do some serious thinking on this one. If you push him too hard when he is already under the stress of the busy schedule that he has, things may not end as you picture. Everyone needs to know that they are loved unconditionally . Is fifty pounds worth loosing him over ? I would do some serious thinking and if necessary speak to a counselor. You may just need a little help in the priority department. Please understand that I feel for you and am not trying to put you down. This situation is near to my heart as I said I have but on quite a bit of weight myself and it is not always easy to just diet , work out , and take it off. I have seen a couple marriages ( one of my good friend) end over this very thing and it saddens me.
I’ve got to say, to anonymous worried about your husband’s weight gain – I think Diane has it right. You need to pray for help to accept him as he is. You can’t control his weight. Also, it sounds like a lot of what is keeping him too busy to work out or diet is actually because he’s working his tail off trying to support you and your family, by working full time and going to school part time (I’m assuming so he can get a better job to increase his earning power to support your family). It seems to me that you should work on appreciating all the wonderful things he’s doing for you and your family, rather than focusing on his weight gain, and letting that one thing repulse you. And pray for help with this. A man who works that hard for his wife and kids sounds pretty darn attractive to me.
To anon, not excited about baby #4:
Give yourself time. I was in your boat, and was terribly sick. It is hard to feel much of anything if you feel crummy all the time, and have other ones to take care of. Really I just gave myself time (and my kids watched a lot of TV when I was sick). I honestly waited to announce my pregnancy until I was through my all-day sickness (around 4 months). I didn’t want to tell people just to get sympathy from them (which I knew would be my motive)…and I just wasn’t that excited at all. Once I felt better, I started praying for God to give me acceptance of the pregnancy. And, it happened eventually. It did take time, and lots of prayer. And, now I get so much JOY from my first girl than I ever imagined I could get (after all boys). And, it has also helped me appreciate all the little souls He entrusted to me. God truly has blessed our lives with this precious bundle of pink, and we are so thankful for her. He has a plan for your family as well, just remember to trust in that. Also give yourself time, and pray everyday for God to give you peace.
I will remember you in my prayers this week!!
God Bless.
Hi, I don’t know if I’m too late to miss all the action, but as a new mother I have three questions.
1. I am wondering if there is anything out there that actually work on stretch marks. I know it probably sounds silly to you mothers of 6 or 8 or more, but I’m 23 and not crazy about the huge purple scars. I’m in two weddings this spring and I know that some of my strech marks are going to show above the neckline of my dress. I’d really appreciate some advice!
2. My baby is two months old and just got his two month immunizations. A guelling experience with THREE shots, after which he was groggy and feverish for two and a half days despite the tylenol. He has to go back for round 2 at 4 months and round 3 at 6 months and I’m really dreading it. Is there a way this can be easier?
3. Have any of you taught your baby sign language? I have heard it’s great and we are trying to start signing words like “please”, “thankyou”, “hungry”, and “I love you”. I found this website about it http://www.babies-and-sign-language.com/glossary-photos.html
but I’d love to hear what you have to say!
Thanks, and for those of you who have asked for prayers, I’m praying!
About your husband’s weight:
For some of us weight on our husband does not matter, but for others it does seem to. I think that you need to start praying about this issue and find things that you do find attractive about your husband. He sounds like he works hard for his family, so that is one attractive thing. What about his eyes, his voice, his caress? I’m sure that there are a bunch of things that you can find attractive and focus on those, pretty soon you will find ALL of him attractive whether he loses weight or not. We expect our husbands to find us attractive, even with our stretch marks, baby spit up, and maybe a little extra weight after a baby is born. Try to realize that even if he doesn;t lose weight there are other things about a person to find attractive.
Believe me, I’ve met many good looking men who are SO unattractive because of their attitude. They know they are good looking and flaunt it and feel so far above others that they are the least attractive people I’ve met. Sexiness is not all about looks, it is also about character and actions.
You may want to talk to a priest about this as I’m sure he can help you see other points and show you that looks are not at all important. What if your husband were to get burnt in a fire, or scarred in a crash? Or what if YOU were? You would hope that you or your spouse would still be attracted to you since it is still YOU, just a you that looks differently. Just pray that you will start to feel differently and sooner or later you should.
And it doesn’t hurt to encourage your husband to eat healthier and go for walks or hiking or swimming with your family. But encourage him to do it for his health, not his looks. He should always have unconditional love from his family.
It sounds like your baby didn’t have a very good reaction to his immunizations. Have you considered delaying them, or at least some, until his body is bigger and able to handle them better? If you do decide to wait, go into the doctor office at his appointment confident and tell, not ask them, that you are delaying some until later. If you go in unsure they may talk you into doing them that day. Remember that you have a right, as his parent, to decide what to do for him medically and there is nothing wrong with delaying them for a year or two or just deciding to have one with each visit. My children have not had any immunizations because I am waiting until they are older.
Anne. . .
Stretchmarks in your neckline? I haven’t heard of stretchmarks being up that high before 🙂
As far as immunizations, maybe you can tell your doctor you only want one at a time. They “cocktails” are the ones that usually cause issues for some babies. Usually, you don’t need to make an appointment to come back to get another immunization, the nurses do that.
I understand your feelings and have been there myself. It might help to consider this, though: The times in my life where I have felt NO DESIRE for my husband and even felt a bit repulsed by him, through no particular fault of his own, have been more about me than about him.
Hormone fluctuations can be awful things and feeling depressed or anxious can play into how interetsed we women are in sex. It IS physical, but it might be more about your physicality than your husband’s, even if he has put on weight.
The other ladies’ suggestions about focusing on his positive points are good, but I think you sound like a loving wife and you might already be doing that and it’s not working. Do you eat well? Exercise? I’m not asking this to know about your weight, but because these kinds of health considerations can play a big factor in determining a woman’s sex drive. Consider getting a check up for both your mental health and physical health. You are beng a good wife to be concerned about this and seeking help — sex really is an important part of marriage.
I can see how you would always LOVE your husband, but might find that he’s not as attractive to you because he’s gained weight. Maybe with all of the activities he’s involved in he just doesn’t have time to eat properly. My trainer said that 70% of weight loss is food based, only 30% is based on exercise…so this might be an opportunity to help your husband with his eating habits if he doesn’t have time for exercise. Perhaps it’s a matter of making healthier meals and snacks and encouraging him not to eat out, no matter how busy he is rushing from work to school.
Theresia,
If possible, you might want to request bulkhead seating with your younger kids. Your carry-on luggage will have to be stored overhead until after take-off. However, you will not spend the entire flight telling the younger ones to stop kicking the seat in front of you.
Another thought: It is not a sin to not feel attracted to your husband after his weight gain because after all, you can’t help how you feel. But you can try to change the way you think and realize that your husband is the man you married, with just a little more weight added on. You just need to try to work on the way you think about weight and realize that if you found his body attractive before he gained weight there are still many women who would find it attractive now with a little weight added on. You need to find a way to become one of those women!
If you’re nursing, please know you can nurse the baby WHILE he’s getting his shots. It really helps minimize their immediate discomfort. One study concludes it can reduce pain–or at least the baby’s expressions of pain–by over 80%! (http://www.llli.org/NB/NBJanFeb05p9a.html)
immunization woes —
I may not be the best one to give advice since I’ve chosen not to vaccinate my last four kids but I do know that you can ask for separate vaccines that can be given individually over a couple visits? Please ask about mercury content in the ones your office is using – do not assume that there isn’t any in it or that your nurse knows for certain that there is/isn’t – check the brochure. Also, I would be concerned about a child that reacts that strongly. Are you will ing to wait until the baby’s nervous system might be more mature? pick and choose what you feel VERY strongly about him NEEDING right now? This is a volatile subject with no easy answer but everyone should look into all the options and research and not just go along uninformed. It is scary and for me it is time to research again and see what changes have been made to make the immunizations safer in the past two years and also what options are available in vaccines not derived from aborted fetal tissue. Life is complicated.
Oh, and we LOVE Baby Signing time and had a great time teaching and actually learning along with our youngest. It was amazing to see her communicate like that!!
Wow. This is a toughie. The thing is, love is about the decisions we make. Deciding to love my spouse no matter what doesn’t mean I’m not going to be concerned when he’s engaging in unhealthy behavior. And that concern can spill over into how I react toward him, even intimately.
A man who is going to school and working and is overweight is a recipe for a serious health breakdown. A wife who begins to be less attracted to him isn’t necessarily less in love with him, but may be frustrated by several things.
1. Serious extra weight can (please: CAN not MUST!) give the message to one’s spouse that he/she doesn’t really care about himself/herself or the spouse. Some people have real difficulty controlling weight despite real effort. Others make excuses, but no real effort. Spouses need to work out what’s going on in love and patience.
2. Absense. It may not just be the weight, but the busy-ness that is causing some of the negative feelings. Couple that with the unhealthy habits our super-busy lives foster and it becomes an almost unbreakable cycle.
3. Listening/honesty. When do a couple really get to sit down and discuss an issue like this? No spouse is going to say, “Look sweetie, I love you, but till you drop the pounds, I’m afraid it’s the couch for you!” An already stressed situation isn’t the time for cruelty. But maybe there are ways to approach the subject. Offer real help in managing diet; real help for a spouse to find time for exercise; real understanding of your spouse’s limitations. Your spouse should understand that you care about his health first, and that he has a responsibility to his family to maintain it.
4. Prayer, of course. Weight and body and all that are so often seen as such modern concerns that we forget to take them to prayer and only take them to science. Husbands and wives have a duty to pray for one another and there are many saints to whom we can turn for help.
A personal note: My husband is heavier than when we started our married life together. Sometimes I’ve had to struggle with the fact that it bothered me. I’ve learned to accept that he does what he can in this area and be proud of the efforts he makes. It truly has made my love for him grow.
God bless you.
I have been married for close to ten years and we have never had a healthy sexual life. My husband seems to be able to go months without and it rarely asks for it and I’ve stopped asking because I’m tired of feeling rejected. I’ve asked him to go to the doctor but I honestly don’t think it is a physical thing, since I have realized that from the beginning he isn’t going long without sexual activity, just without it when it comes to me. Meaning the “M” word plays a big part of it. I have needs and he doesn’t seem to care and I feel like he has ruined our marriage because of how selfish and self-satisfying he has become. What is wrong? Has anyone gone through a time like this when the husband would prefer to be by himself then with his wife?
About immunizations,
I caution the average Mom against going into a doctor’s office and “telling “the doctor anything, let alone that she is delaying her child’s immunizations for a year or so. Discussing the pros and cons with your doctor is, in my opinion a much better option.It may work for one family to delay or not vaccinate a particular child but may be a very bad idea for another. We all live in different locations, have different genetics, are exposed to different people with different germs , etc.
As the parent you do have the final say but two days of fussiness and low fever compared to the mumps , or worse, suddenly doesn’t seem so bad. I would make an appointment before the next set of immunizations are due and talk to your doctor. this way you can ask your questions, get answers and recommendations, and then take it all home and think about and discuss with your spouse or whomever you wish what the best choice for your child might be. Then when the time comes either go in for the injections or call and inform the office that you want to wait.
To Anon with #4: Congratulations! I am pregnant with #4 too (although – thankfully – I am thru the 1st trimester and the nausea is finally gone). I didn’t really experience this with this child – but did with #3 – mainly because I didn’t plan the pregnancy (we weren’t Catholic yet and had just started not using any b/c due to my husbands convictions on the subject) anyway – I was very angry and had a hard time accepting it, as well as very scared how I would handle having 3 to take care of. I eventually got excited about my pregnancy – and I am now so thankful for our little blessing – he is the sweetest, cutest little baby and I love him so much. When I learned about our 4th being on its way, I was so excited because I knew what a blessing DS #3 was and knew it would be the same for this baby. I just read a quote on another blog that I frequent: “God gives us grace for our situation – not our imagination.” How true that is! And God has given me the grace I needed to get thru the pregnancy and afterwards, and I know that he will give it to me for this one too. I try to not “imagine” what it is going to be like or how I am going to handle it any more I just know that He would not give me these blessings and leave me stranded and alone. We don’t get a lot of help from family either, but it I am kinda glad we don’t. Because that way we don’t have that crutch there and we know that we can do it ourselves. As far as the other people in your parish – just think what an example you are setting for them in being open to life. You just might change some of their thinking on the subject! I know a good friend of mine at our parish has been a great inspiration to me – she just gave birth to her 8th child! Just knowing that others can and have done it – helps me. Wishing you the best and sending you lots of prayers!
To all of you requesting prayers today – I will be sure to pray for you all!
To Anon with overweight hubby – I watched Extreme Home Makeover Sunday night about a boy who was born without eyes. He said he was lucky because he gets to see people for who they really are inside and not be blinded by their outside appearance. That is hard for all of us to do. My hubby and I have both gained weight since we were married (me more than him) now I am pregnant again – I am so glad that he doesn’t look at me with disgust and is still attracted to me. I know that you are trying to help him but I would also be careful as Diane said above to not push him away. Sounds like he is in a really hard place right now and possibly under stress – which can make losing weight even harder. Is there anything you can do as far as cooking healthier for him? Doesn’t sound like he’s just laying around eating chips and watching tv. So maybe just cooking healthier for him would help. My mom helped my dad to lose weight just by making his lunches and cooking healthier for him. He would just eat what she made and it made a big difference to not have to eat out or buy snacks. You’ll both be in my prayers!
Traveling with Food to Picnics: A friend of mine told me about at 3-day cooler you can buy that is super thick and will keep food super cold (3 days supposedly) – she got hers at Wal-Mart. I don’t have one but am thinking about getting one since we travel a lot with food!
ps – sorry this is soooo long! :o)
immunizations:
More on headaches. My mom and I have done lots of research due to the years when Doctors told her it was all ‘in her head’– she loves puns.
Anyway:
Pain Meds containing caffeine can cause rebound headaches if you take them too often.
Prevention meds like anti depression pills or betablockers( Blood pressure meds) do the same if not taken at exactly the same everyday.
I love Imetrex, Maxalt etc. but you can’t take them if you have heart health issues.
Chiro can help if tension from the headaches has pulled your neck out of alignment to reduce the pain.
BioFeedback/self hypnosis is the newest method and requires only an investment of time and the quiet to meditate. So I haven’t learned it but my daughter can successfully interupt a migraine.
Hormone related migraine’s are the hardest to deal with– read Marilyn Shannon’s Nutrition and Natural Family Planning.
B vitamins, Magnesium, always taking D with your C, Flax seed oil all help your system run its best and solve deficits associated with migraine.
Sleep the same hours every night. Period.
Cut down sugar and caffeine.
Common food triggers: chocolate, red wine, MSG, nitrates in hot dogs, fermented cheese, certain white wines, kidneys.
Other Common triggers: stress, sudden lights, florescent lights, scents, dehydration, ovulating, period, intercourse.
Things for your headache journal:
where does it hurt (one side or both?)
Other symtoms like nausea, tingling, numbness.
Did it start with an aura: seeing spots, lights, tunnel vison, double vision? Aura can also be craving a trigger food, smelling a trigger food. (I smell Avon that isn’t really there)
What did you eat? crave?
Are you sensitive to light and sound?
During pregnancy most meds aren’t allowed. I did have some stop by getting IV fluids and something to control just the nausea. Pregnancy can end your headaches for a while but sometimes it brings them on.
More than 5 in a week or a increasing number each day is Cluster headaches. You must get a specialist who understands them! Before you get a week with 20 migraines.
Sorry for the long post but believe me I know how bad they get. Mine are finally easing up now that I am growing up (approaching menopause) my Mom can even enjoy wine now. Have a special intention ready to offer it up for. If you get glasses get transitions or a light gray tint.
Oh and keep a soft ice pack in the freezer.
My husband has also had times of stress when he didn’t seem to interested in being intimate with me . I am not sure wether he was into self satisfaction or not but I found that sometimes when I was in the mood, in the mornings when he was off and wanted to sleep in, he was just not feeling it at that time. But I found that at night when I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep, he was feeling the need for me but keeping it quiet because he knew that I would reject him. It was simply a matter of our internal clocks being unsynchronized. Maybe you should talk to your spouse and ask if perhaps a better time than when you have been requesting is available. I doubt that many guys would prefer themselves to their wives if nothing else stands in the way. Talk to him and find out what it is that is standing in the way
Thank you so much to all who have offered their thoughts on the problem of my dh who is overweight. I definitely do think that I need to pray more and work on gratitude. He is an awesome man in so many respects and I am the envy of my of my friends because he is so loving. It’s just hard because when it comes to being close, I want the relationship to be as easy as the rest of it, I guess. He really is pretty overweight (he was when we married, a bit) and I find myself dwelling on that rather than how much I love him and admire him in other ways.
Confused Mommy—- Follow your instincts regarding cousin play. 2 and 4 yr. olds NEED supervised play. Ditto the comment on teaching ‘how’ to play or play with the children yourself (dads are great for this). Everyone parents differently, do what you feel is best. Also, with regards to the baby and toddler, hold the baby and let the toddler ‘help hold’ also. You can even do this while nursing, just situate the toddler on one leg and let them ‘help’. Even if it was ten times in a row, I always encouraged this kind of contact and never had any sibling problems (we have 11 ). Teaching ‘gentle’ has also worked very well for me.
Homeschooling Mother-to-be—- I agree with Alice, start now and take a ‘baby’ break. Focus on reading after the baby is here and do some math if you can. A routine that works for all of you will fall into place. God bless.
Husband’s weight—-A high priority for me, was to make high-protien breakfasts for my husband, every day. These changes (that he didn’t have to make himself) have made a big difference in his over-all health (my reason for this). Also, making good snacks/lunches have paid off. (Using a mini-cooler full of good stuff that could last until the evening hours.on refreezable ice blocks). Mine is also very busy; he skipped meals constantly, drank a lot of sugared coffee and ate on-the-run, making it very difficult to do anything about his weight (which he was totally unaware of). Also, getting a few vitamins in him helped a lot too–omega’s, ‘E’ ,’C’, and ‘B’s’.(ziplock bag in lunches or at dinnertime, if he’ll be home) He’s still very busy, but makes it through his day much happier AND healthier. (Maybe this is a way you can ‘help’ him while you pray and look into the other posters suggestions.)
Immunizations can be a very touchy subject for some. Check out this website:
http://www.cogforlife.org
Just wanted to thank all of you for your prayers and concerns with my baby due any day!!
Also, Anne; immunizations; You may want to pick up a book I just finished reading called The Vaccine Book by Robert Sears. It is excellent. It goes over all the pros and cons of vaccinating and not vaccinating your children. My favorite part was an alternate vaccine schedule in the back of the book. It spreads vaccines out more so than the AAP does. It only has one shot containing aluminum at a time, and it delays shots that have more of a chance of illiciting a reaction from your child. It is a great resource. HTH.
IMMUNIZATIONS:
I am so on the fence regarding immunizations. I wish I was confident in my decision one way or another. None of my 7 kids have had all of them – but they have had most.
But, the real reason I am commenting
1. They seem to do better each time as they are older. So, a miserable 2 month old won’t necessarily be as miserable at 4 mo. However, it seems that some kids are more bothered by them than others and that follows through to the next round.
2. They will feel worse over the next few days if the don’t move. Learned that from experience, now I encourage playing, running, etc. as much as they feel they are able.
3. Although I don’t like the idea of “coctails” either, I am also not sure one at a time is better. Would they be getting more preservative (thimerosol, mercury, etc.)?
Like I said, I’m on the fence. Just wish I felt strongly in my decision one way or the other.
DAIRY ALLERGIES:
Been dealing with this one for years, as well as soy, and one who used to react to corn (may have one child with Celiac – still checking into that – but I think the wheat/gluten free will be much harder).
Just a few words of caution:
When reading lables: If it contains a CONTAINS: statement under the ingredients it is supposed to list any of the top 8 allergens that are in that food. (soy, egg, dairy, peanut, wheat I think, and I cannot remember the others). However, I have noticed that items will still contain soy (I have to avoid that too) and there will still be soy lecithin in the product.
For dairy stuff it’s often just buying a certain brand (but like I said – adding the wheat allergy makes it harder).
Beware of some brands of ‘alternative” milk. Some still contain dairy (often casein) which will be listed on the label. If you don’t like the taste start with the chocoloate versions if you like that.
We make a lot of our own food from scratch. There is a product called DariFree available from vancesfoods.com which is dairy free (pretty much everythnig free) powdered milk. Haven’t drank it but we use it in baking homemade bread and homemade cream soup for hotdishes (did ya catch that – hotishes – yep – I’m from Minnesota).
If any of you with wheat intolerance knows of a “poptart” that is wheat free could you please respond. My 5 year old is going to a specialist next week to get a 2nd opinion on celiac testing and he loves all things wheat, esp. poptarts.
Sorry – I already wrote so much but Kinikinik (sp?) has a lot of great mixes for cakes, etc. that are wheat free.
Re: Sign language with little ones:
In order for it to really take, I think, you have to be really consistent. Always sign “milk” when nursing or giving a bottle, etc. But even so, your child might not necessarily pick up on it. I did a lot with my daughter and between ages 1-2 should could sign “more” before she could say it. And once or twice she told me when she was doing/had to do No. 2 (signed “potty”/”toilet”) but it wasn’t like she ever told me every single thing that was going on in her mind. I didn’t do as much with my son; he signed “more” a couple of times, but that’s about it. He also picked up on some of the signs in Baby Einstein videos, but didn’t use them to communicate. However, now at 4 and 2, they’re both into the “Signing Time” videos (which I first heard about from Danielle — thanks for the tip!), especially my 4-year-old. She signs to me a lot now and asks “What’s the sign for” this or that. It helps that I’ve taken sign language classes before and my brother is hard of hearing and signs, though without using it all the time, I’ve forgotten a lot. So I guess I’d suggest you try it if you have the time, but don’t expect too much! Just try to have fun learning along with your child.
http://www.theglutenfreeguy.com/2008/02/gluten-free-guys-favorite.html
That is the link for a suggestion for homemade, gluten free Pop Tarts.
Since I am the only one in the family with the gluten issue, I dont’ make that many treats. I’m also carb sensitive, therefore I really don’t eat sandwiches. But the best brownies I have ever eaten are Namaste Brand made with a bag of chocolate chips and using coffee instead of water. Gives you a nice caffeine buzz. Not for youngsters though LOL.
To Anon about the M word: for most men with an addiction like that, it’s *not* about you, it’s about the struggle they have. So you are going to feel rejected and it is going to affect your marriage, but it really isn’t anything to do with your attractiveness or anything like that. I would suggest going to a good priest together (or he could go on his own) to discuss and get some suggestions from a third party on how he can work on the true meaning of human sexuality. Also, if he would be willing to read a book on Theology of the Body with you, that can really help open people’s eyes to the truth of what is communicated with our sexuality. I recommend Christopher West’s “Theology of the Body for Beginners” or “Good News about Sex and Marriage” as starting points. Or Christopher’s CD set which is excellent: either “Naked without Shame” or the talk that’s specifically for men (I forget what it’s called).
About baby sign language: we’ve used the “Baby Fingers” board books. Our dd really likes looking at the photos of other babies and imitating them. We expected her to sign fairly early but she didn’t really take off with it until she was 1 and I was ready to give up on it. 🙂 She’s 19 months now and still signs quite a bit along with talking.
I feel your pain. My husband would do the same thing. He would never go to the doctor either to see if there was anything physically wrong with him. What did help was me going to therapy, and because of that I was able to handle it better, and think of ways to get him to be “in the mood”. This is a very touchy subject to this day. I thought I was the only woman on earth with this issue, but evidently there are lots of women out there that are in the same situation as we are. My husband has many, many, childhood “issues” that he has never addressed. My therapist told me that this could be at the root of his “problem”. Maybe talking to a good, Catholic therapist could help you.
To Anne re: immunizations,
Look into just doing one vaccination per visit. Also, delay them some if you can. It is a good idea to talk to your doctor before the actual visit to make sure they will support you in this. (If they don’t, and you feel very strongly about it, you might want to look into changing doctors).
I felt very strongly about this, and was lucky that our sons’ doc was alright with my choice. However, I did have to stand up to the nurses in the office several times. Once the doctor walked in while I was once again explaining to the nurse that the CDC schedule that she was looking at was RECOMMENDED, not REQUIRED like she seemed to think. Thankfully the doctor (because we had already discussed it) just quickly said that it was fine and to only do one shot for the visit. They would say to make the appoinment for the next round in 6 weeks, but I would usually wait a few months to do it.
It really is a personal choice that has both pros and cons. It is also something that is very hard to get info about because people are usually very set one way or the other and not willing to discuss alternatives (this goes for many MDs as well). I believe the CDC website has alternative vaccination schedules. I also know that many people use the alternative schedule that Dr. Sears has written about. I will pray for you during your decision making process.
Well, I only titled it that because it rhymes; what you said is clinical obesity, not chubbiness! 🙂
I very much agree with the post above from “husband’s weight/ another view”, on all her points and esp. the one about him not being there. I am all for increasing the yearly salary, but at what expense? Does it mean he’ll be taking 5 nights of classes for the next 4 or 5 years? IMO, that’s too much time away from you and the family. Your kids need Dad home in the evenings more than that; too many people simply don’t understand how the gift of being present to those we love is one of the most important things we can ever do, for love.
On the other hand, if he’s in school 3 nights per week, then there’s nothing wrong with you AND him going for power-walks together. There’s a good option: do this together. Go over healthy menus together and suggest healthy alternatives for meals and snacks. What “Me” said is gold-star worthy: getting healthy is 70% diet, at least! But do not neglect the exercise; it’s what I was going to suggest to the headachy mom, too: unless a person exercises at least 20 mins 3x per week, no one can ever expect to be healthy in the long run. That’s a strong, but true, way of putting it. If exercise could be put in a pill, we’d be popping them all day! Along with the aforementioned sleep and nutrition, you need to move, sweat, get your heart beating fast and use your muscles against a resistance (i.e. lift weights). It should get to the point that we think it cannot be optional, just like eating. Or breathing.
From a Catholic perspective, I’m always surprised at how gluttony gets short shrift these days, as if a backlash against the cult of the body has made it almost acceptable. If God decided that the “tabernacle” of our eternal soul is to be our body, who are we to neglect it or not take care of it?
Also, your feelings are perfectly legitimate. To those who told her to just not mind so much, at what point do you stop doing that? 100 lbs? 200lbs? 50 lbs is a major health issue. And it’s quite different from balding or wrinkling; those are natural aspects of aging, becoming obese is not. That much fat will surely take some years off his life and cause him all kinds of joint, metabolic and cardio-respiratory problems, in one way or another.
But I think that the “us, together” approach is a good, loving way of tackling this.
Oh and once he starts to lose some weight, make sure you tell him – constantly and with lots of physical touch – how good he looks and how you can’t keep your hands off of him! Now THAT’S positive reinforcement that is guaranteed to work!
What you say makes a WHOLE lot of sense. You are right about 50 pounds being a big health issue. I just lost 50 pounds and am experiencing life the way I should be now. My problem stemmed from eating the wrong foods. I had no idea I had so many allergies! I took the “bad” foods out and the weight started dropping. I have also been exercising at least 5 times a week. Yoga 2 or 3 days and walking the rest of the time. I feel 15 years younger! My husband is a skinny minnie, he has the opposite problem I do. He cannot put on weight. He still wears the same size he did when I married him 27 years ago. He does however, have some issues that need addressing. I have been working on him gently, slowing for a few years now but have realized that he is the only one who is going to make himself change. Loving guidance is what we can give our spouses’. If they choose to listen, it’s great, if not, there is nothing we can do but pray for them.
First, stretch marks: Retin A has been proven to work, but you need a scrip from your MD. Use it exactly as you are instructed to and you will get results. Also, I think there have been some good results with the newer laser therapies, but they can be expensive. See a dermatologist for the latest info.
Second, vaccinations: Not that anyone here is advocating no vaccinations ever, but basic human history shows that infant mortality rates used to be many, many times more than they are now, even just as little as 70 years ago. My grandfather remembers the sight of little white coffins being pulled through the streets years ago; dying babies were much, much more common than they are now. And we have vaccinations to thank for that.
Also, please bear in mind that what you do now will impact your child later on in life. For example, if your HS or college age child gets a job, chances are that they will need to have a certain level of immunity or they will not be able to work or volunteer among certain populations. And if they do go to college, they expect student immunizations to be up to date. I know there are conscience-clauses, but as far as I can see, it means you don’t have to get the shots but they still have the right of not allowing your child to be part of their school/office/hospice/child care/camp/etc etc.
Re: Headaches
I have suffered from chronic headache & migraines for 15 years. For the first 10 years, I just used OTC medications to treat them, but after having kids, they got worse to the point where I was having about 3-4 migraines per week, and severe headaches the days I didn’t have migraines. I see a neurologist for my migraines and for some people, preventative prescription medication is the only way to treat these. I take amitriptilene & nadalol currently. Also, have you ever heard of rebound headaches? My neurologist told me about this. Basically, what happens is certain OTC pain medications actually make headaches worse (and reoccurring) when you take them too much. Other rebound medications include prescription migraine medicines such as Zomig and Imitrex. The only way I have found relief from my chronic headaches was by being under the care of a neurologist that specializes in headache & migraine. Good luck to you…I know how miserable these can be.
Headaches:
I get migraines at certain points of my menstrual cycle. When the hormone shifts take place–at the start of the cycle and again at ovulation–I get a migraine more often than not. My doctor prescribed Axert (expensive, but worth every penny) and the nasty, nasty migraine disappears within 1/2 hour. It’s amazing!
About the Wii:
We love it! So many fun things to play and do…like making your own characters. My 9 year old bought one of the mini-games you can purchase on the Wii (Wii Ware) for $10. He and my 6 year old son and 4 year old daughter all play it together.
There are lots of great family games for the Wii. If you get any video game system, the Wii is the best for sure!
Anne;
On immunizations: It is best to be fully informed before making any decision. This means reading and doing research on your own and discussing options/alternatives with your pediatrician. Children of God for Life is a great place to start and the Dr. Sears book on Immunizations is a wonderful resource.
Signing with Babies: We signed with our youngest and wished we had known about it when we had our older 5. It truly eliminated the frustration of not being able to communicate clearly for him. We used http://www.signingtime.com and ordered several of their videos. Choose simple signs you would use everyday and use them consistently while saying the word aloud for the sign. The combination of signing and speaking made his wants and needs very clear to us.
Headaches/ migraines: I haven’t read all entries so I apologize if this was mentioned already (sorry, bath time has arrived and I’m limited). I’ve suffered with migraines and headaches for most of my life and I’ve found many ways to avoid them. I avoid caffeine, red wine, some aged cheeses and chocolate (but I can have cocoa or cocoa processed with alkali which is used in most brownies and chocolate cake, thank God). If I have any of the trigger foods I get severe migraines. If I’m out on an extremely humid day for too long I’ll get one, if the barometric pressure or humidity level changes abruptly that will cause one and if I wait too long to eat I’ll get one.
I use Imitrex (when not nursing) and it works wonderfully, although it’s quite expensive depending on your insurance. Good luck to you.
I second the recommendation for Dr. Sears’ book on vaccinations. (It’s called The Vaccine Book and costs about $8 on Amazon.) It isn’t a pro- or anti-vaccine book. He devotes one chapter to each of the recommended immunizations, explaining what the disease is, the risks to an infant/toddler, how the vaccine is made, why some people choose not to use the vaccine, and how important he considers it. He avoids discussing the moral implications of using aborted fetus-derived vaccines, but he doesn’t hide this info, either. He also has two different vaccination schedules that he recommends — one for those who are extremely leery of vaccines, and a second for those who want to vaccinate but want a safer method to follow. (And if you choose not to accept every vaccination, there are some that you don’t even need to worry about once the child is over the age of 2.)
I’m expecting #6 in the next month and now feel much more informed about vaccines. (I actually know what HIB stands for after reading the book!) The most shocking thing I learned from the book is that nearly every vaccine contains aluminum, and no research has been done on how a healthy infant’s body processes this! Dr. Sears recommends limiting vaccinations to only one containing aluminum per doctor’s visit because of potential problems aluminum can cause.
The Children of God for Life website (cogforlife.org) is also an excellent source of information. Every Catholic parent should join their petition to encourage drug companies to create vaccines that do not use aborted fetal cell lines.
To Anon:
I can’t help but respond to your entry about baby #4. Not feeling well and taking care of three other children is difficult, very difficult. I just had my 4th a few months back and it’s amazing how consumed you become with the sickness, the worry, “how will I do this?”, etc. but rest assured, once you meet that baby, once you get to know the place he/she has in your family, you fall in love all over again and it all makes sense.
I am so in love with this little one after a long and difficult pregnancy and it was so worth it. You’ll be here too and you’ll forget a lot about your worries, reactions from others, and how you felt pregnant. You’ll just be in love all over again and nothing else will matter.
~ : ) Good luck to you.
Missy,
Check out glutenfreeda.com for gluten free recipes.