When I wrote “Do You Make Your Husband a Better Father?” I heard from more than a few moms demanding equal time. Far be it for me to shortchange the ladies! Today we’ll consider some ways men can encourage their wives in motherhood.

1. Lend a Hand

Even a strong mom has physical and emotional limitations. Pay attention to how your wife spends her time. While you relax at the end of the day, is she cleaning the kitchen, folding loads of laundry, and wrestling through bedtime routines with toddlers? Do what you can to make sure she gets some down time too.

Take over one of the evening chores, delegate jobs to the kids, hire some help, or agree together to save certain tasks for the weekend. Just because she’s not asking for a break doesn’t mean she doesn’t need one.

Ask yourself: Do I make sure my wife gets the rest she needs to be her best, or do I neglect her needs for sleep, socialization, creative outlets, and time alone?

2. Nurture Her Spiritually

Often, one of the first casualties of motherhood is a consistent spiritual life. Even if your wife is unable to spend hours at the adoration chapel, you can be a means of spiritual support for her. Help her find time for daily prayer, alone or with you. And don’t forget to pray for her. Ask God to shower her with the graces she needs in fulfilling her vocation to marriage and motherhood – and he will.

Ask yourself: Do I pray for my wife daily and support her spiritually or do I allow other family matters to take precedence over her spiritual needs?

3. Be on her side

If you disagree with any of your wife’s parenting decisions, make sure you talk about them privately – not in front of the kids, and definitely not in the heat of a family crisis. Children need to learn that you will always back up their mother’s authority.

If you treat your wife with love and respect – and insist that your children do the same – you set her up to be the most effective mother she can be. With your support, even toddlers can be taught to respect boundaries in ways your wife might not think about. Teach them not to take food from her plate, for example, and never tolerate teens who are disrespectful. Nothing gives a mom greater confidence in her authority and self worth than to hear her husband demand that unruly children show her respect.

Ask yourself: Do I protect my wife – even from our children when they disrespect her or abuse her goodwill – or do I let her fend for herself?

4. Say the words

You might think your wife knows you appreciate her, but hearing those words from you will renew her confidence and inspire her toward greater heights of motherly love. Be specific and let your children hear you praise her: “I think it’s amazing the way you are able to get up at night and care for a crying baby,” or “I know what a sacrifice it is for you to drive the kids to basketball. Thank you for doing it.”

Ask yourself: Do I verbalize admiration and appreciation for my wife’s efforts as a mother or do I assume she knows what I think already?

The joy your wife finds in motherhood has a ripple effect that can bless the entire family. One of the greatest gifts you can give your children (and yourself!) is a happy mother in the heart of your home. Make a commitment to give that priceless gift to your family – starting today.

Do you make your husband a better father? Here are some practical ways to encourage your husband in his fatherhood.

1. Take Notice

It’s very likely that your husband performs loving acts for your children all the time, whether it’s giving them hugs, making them lunch, driving them to soccer practice, or paying the tuition and dental bills. Taking notice and verbalizing your gratitude for these things will not only teach your children to appreciate their father, but will make your husband’s heart soar.

With small kids, you can say: “Did daddy pour you that drink? What a nice daddy you have!” Or with big kids: “I think it’s great that Dad makes time to help you with your math homework.”

Ask yourself: Do my words to and about my husband build him up as a father or tear him down?

2. Respect His Authority

This can be a tricky one, because our motherly pride sometimes gets in the way. Mothers are the ones who do the lion’s share of feeding, bathing, changing, carpooling, and kissing boo-boos better. Surely we know what’s best for our kids, don’t we?

Maybe not. We need to remember that God gave our kids a mother and a father for a reason. Your husband wants what’s best for your kids too – he just might have a different way of getting there. So he doesn’t recognize the importance of the baby’s socks matching his shirt. Or he lets older kids watch more television than you would. These are probably not battles that need to be fought. Let go of that pressing need for control and bite your tongue!

Ask yourself: Do I respect my husband’s authority as a father or do I discount his perspective, usurp his authority, and belittle his opinions … even if only in my own mind?

3. Criticize Carefully

Of course there will be times when you might notice that your husband could improve in some important way. Recognizing his good intentions and his particular challenges first will make him more receptive to hearing your concerns.

For example, if you think your husband should cut back his work hours and spend more time at home, do not say, “Your job is more important to you than we are!” or “If you keep up this schedule, the kids won’t even know you anymore!”

Try a positive, encouraging approach instead: “I appreciate how hard you work at your job and the money you earn for the family, but we really miss you around here! Is there something I can do to make it easier for you to come home a little earlier this week?”

Ask yourself: Do my words to my husband make him want to be a better father or make him want to stop trying altogether?

4. Give Him a Break

In the end, working to help your husband fulfill his vocation as a father will bless you and your children and bring all of you closer to heaven.

A good wife knows when her husband is near his breaking point. Whether it’s frustration with toddlers or teens, when you see the telltale signs of a raised voice, a twitching eye or a clenched jaw, it’s time to intervene – just as you would have him do for you in your weaker moments.

Blessed are the peacemakers! Separate your husband from the source of his frustration and, without judgment or demands, encourage him to take a break. Then everyone can regroup without Dad having to blow his top first. Part of being a good parent is knowing your limitations. Part of being a good wife is knowing your husband’s limitations, and helping the family to navigate them.

Ask yourself: Do I do everything I can to ensure my husband’s time with the children is a pleasant time?

Finally, let’s never forget the power of prayer. Ask God to build up your husband in his fatherhood. Ask St. Joseph to guide him and Mary to watch over him in his family life. In the end, working to help your husband fulfill his vocation as a father will bless you and your children and bring all of you closer to heaven.

Related: Do You Make Your Wife a Better Mother?