Elizabeth Foss and I had the privilege of talking with some lovely podcasting women about Small Steps for Catholic Moms recently.

Lisa Hendey had us on Catholic Moments, where we talked about not just the book, but also the tricky business of balancing work and family life.

And Pat Gohn chatted with us on her popular podcast, Among Women. We read passages from the book and reflected on some of the entries togther.

It is always such a blessing to talk with Catholic women about these subjects that are close to all of our hearts. I hope you will take the time to check out these podcasts as well as other recordings by Lisa Hendey and Pat Gohn. The work of these two women has been such a blessing and encouragement to me as a Catholic mom, and I just know it will bless you too.

Coming …

… and going.

Know what I think?

I think little boys should not be allowed to turn four years old. Especially those little boys who happen to be their mother’s “baby.”

A mother’s heart is a crazy thing. Half of it wants our small children to hurry up and wean, hurry up and potty train, hurry up and gain some independence already. And yet the other half wants them to never do any of those things and to remain exactly as they are forever. When the inevitable happens and they do gain some self-sufficiency, our hearts ache just a little at what feels like the ultimate betrayal.

I remember one day years ago when a friend remarked that pretty soon my daughter would be old enough to baby sit her younger siblings and I would gain some freedom.

“No way!” I gasped. “No way!”

And yet in that same moment of denial some small part of me was scheming. I was plotting sippy cup-free excursions of all kinds. I was contemplating the pleasure of stepping into a car and buckling in only myself before turning the key in the ignition.

I was more than ready.

But I wake up on a day like today, Daniel’s fourth birthday, and I don’t feel ready for this growing up thing at all.

I want to freeze my little man and package him up tight. I want to preserve him, just as he is, forever. But I know I will just have to settle for remembering.

I want to remember his sandy hair, in wild blonde tufts that smells like the ocean at the end of a summer day. I want to remember his fat toes, his chubby, boyish hands, and the wild grin he gives me when he’s about to try out some naughty.

I want to remember the little boy who a few weeks ago bounded into my bedroom.

“Mama, dis is for you,” he announced solemnly.

He stood on one foot and spun. He held his arms out to the sides to keep his balance and then came to a sudden stop. He glanced at me shyly before bowing — one hand held elegantly to the side for dramatic effect.

For me, from him. I’ll take it.

(cross-posted at The Anchoress)

Daniel approached me with a copy of the Fall issue of Faith & Family magazine in hand.

“Will you roll this up for me,” he asked, “so that I can kill some flies?”

Tomorrow morning we start our homeschool year. I often choose the Nativity of Mary as a starting date because leaning on Our Lady a bit helps me fight off that choking feeling of panic that rises in my throat every year at the beginning of September.

So, here we go.

I have written before about my ambivalence about homeschooling (Darn that new Inside Catholic site — it’s very cool and all, but I can’t seem to make the links to my old columns work anymore). My husband and I have prayerfully determined that homeschooling is the best choice for us in our current circumstances, but I don’t at all pretend that homeschooling is the ideal or that it’s for everyone.

It simply isn’t. No system of education is.

My precious charts! Nobody touch my precious charts!

The truth is, I think I find homeschooling especially stressful because I have never been a “planner.” I am a “do-er.” I see homeschooling moms who oooh and ahhh over curricula, who have nifty little planners all filled out with liturgically-themed popsicle stick craft projects, state capitals poetry exercises, and recipes for Cooking Your Way Through Roman History, and I wonder at the vast variety of God’s creation.

Because I am not sure at all that we are of the same species.

It would appear that some of us are genetically pre-disposed to be homeschoolers. I am not.

There is something about the broad responsibility of homeschooling that makes me feel like, no matter what, I must be doing it wrong. Or not enough. Or I am using the wrong books, or I shouldn’t be using books, or my kids aren’t getting out enough, or they are getting out too much, or I have too rigid a schedule, or I have too loose a schedule, or I am doing too much housework at the expense of the kids’ educations, or I am educating the children at the expense of basic sanitation, or I am paying too much attention to the little kids and not enough to the big kids, or I am paying too much attention to the big kids and not enough to the little kids, or …

Well, maybe you get the idea.

The white board in our classroom.

Whether I am comfortable in my role as a homeschooler or not, I have to admit that God put me here, and that it is His will for our family to learn at home for yet another year.

Would I rather be dancing through the aisles like those parents in the Staples commercial? The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

Maybe.

But when I consider the idea of sending my kids to school, an entirely different kind of choking panic rises in my throat.

Which leaves me to think that it’s not homeschooling that is especially hard. It’s just plain parenting that is especially hard.

All parents, whether their kids learn at home or in a classroom, should lean hard on God’s grace. Because though our details might differ, God calls every one of us to sacrificial love through our family lives. And that’s not likely to come easy to any of us.

Perhaps it’s time to mom up. Perhaps the time for analyzing our schooling decisions for this year is done and what’s left to do is only work hard and pray harder — whatever it takes to live up to God’s particular call for me here in this particular family.

Hang on tight, kids. Here we go.

(cross-posted at The Anchoress)

Matthew Archbold wrote a pro-life blog post that was so awesome it got linked up at the Drudge Report.

Which has temporarily crashed the server for NCRegister.com and Faith & Family Live.

Let’s all say a little prayer to the patron saint of servers so that we can get back online quickly …

(Congrats, Matt!)

with a Brisingr Birthday