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Danielle Bean

Catholic Writer and Speaker

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40

June 8, 2012 by Danielle Filed Under: Special Days 17 Comments

Yup, it’s true. Today I turn 40. It’s supposed to be a milestone, I guess, but I’ve been thinking of myself as a “grown up” for so long now that this new old age fails to impress me.

I distinctly remember turning 30, though, and how the largeness of that number burdened me. I could not be 30. Inside, I still felt 23. And now that I am 40, I still feel 23.

Well, I don’t quite feel the same physically. 23-year-old me wore her favorite (verysmallsize) jeans home from the maternity ward with a day-old baby in tow. At 40, I need to eat a lot of salad and do a lot of Kenpo Karate to maintain a healthy body size.

But it’s not so bad. I like salad. And I like Kenpo Karate.

me, many birthdays ago


And I certainly don’t feel the same emotionally. 23-year-old me hemmed and hawed, weighed the consequences, and took a poll before she changed a baby’s diaper. At 40, I have learned so much about myself, marriage, parenthood, and human relationships that I make many important decisions with confidence. I have learned to trust myself and my instincts, especially as a mom, but also as a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. Instincts, especially when they’ve been prayerfully and sometimes painfully developed through real-life experience, are a gift from God. There’s just no way of knowing that at 23.

I have been blessed to do much of my grown-up “growing up” in a marriage to a strong, faith-filled man while surrounded by the blessings of our family. I am blessed to have family and friends who know me. They know me well because they have been right here by my side me, even while I was getting to know myself. I am known, and loved despite the knowing. That’s something I couldn’t have had at 23.

So now that I think of it, I guess I don’t feel very 23 after all.

I once heard the joke that the key to aging gracefully is to pick an age you like and stick with it, and 23 might still be tempting in its own wrinkle-free way.

But today? Today I pick 40.

Comments

  1. Celeste Behe says

    June 8, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Danielle, I pick 53. But, regardless of the numbers we choose, we always end up winning the jackpot! Being “known, and loved despite the knowing,” is indeed what makes these years precious. Happy birthday!

  2. jen ambrose says

    June 8, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Happy birthday! I’m looking forward to 40 (seriously; it is only a few months away).

  3. Elizabeth says

    June 8, 2012 at 11:27 am

    Danielle, I can’t believe you’re only 40 with all that you’ve accomplished!

  4. Jen Raiche says

    June 8, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day!

  5. Dawn Farias says

    June 8, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    Beautiful, Danielle – Happy birthday!

  6. Catherine Post says

    June 8, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    Happy Birthday Danielle!

    You have it so right: going ‘up’ in years brings ‘views’, in 3D wealth as from an airplane, that just cannot be had at age 23. Relationships deepen, connections grow more complex, and rich in love & tenderness. The ‘view’, spiritually, becomes ever more profound and open, yet committed & dedicated too, as one ‘ascends’ in years to the point where Heaven not only appears closer, but God IS closer.

    Keep being the deeply inspiring, wonderful, faith-filled woman that you are! You will still ‘feel 23’ inside, even as you keep up that Kenpo Karate… 😉

  7. Brianna Heldt says

    June 8, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    Love this! Happy Birthday Danielle!

  8. Marie says

    June 8, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Happy Birthday Danielle! May God bless you immensely this coming year!

    I’ll be 50 in a week, and have been having sort of a hard time with this one.
    I’ve always felt 23 for some reason also ;). Thank you for your insight into aging.
    (and thank you Catherine I also liked how you put it also.”Relationships deepen, connections grow more complex, and rich in love & tenderness. The ‘view’, spiritually, becomes ever more profound and open”)
    Yes I know so much more now than I could ever at 23. And I would not change that view for anything 🙂

  9. PamL says

    June 8, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    So well written and stated, Danielle! I turned 40 in January and I keep telling myself that I just cannot be that old! Aging is a funny thing….My oldest is 14 and sometimes I just ponder how that can be. How can I remember so distinctly his baby years? And now he’s almost as tall as I am. It just goes by so fast and I guess as a 23 or 26 year old, you just can’t fathom that. But I do agree that some huge growing has happened in those years and when I ponder those things, I know it is true and I am a better person for it! 🙂

  10. Michelle Reitemeyer says

    June 8, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    Happy birthday from one old lady to another. These are good years.

  11. Kelly @ In the Sheepfold says

    June 9, 2012 at 8:35 am

    Have a wonderful birthday!

  12. Charlotte says

    June 9, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    “Happy 40th Birthday Danielle!” May God shower you with His choicest blessings today, tomorrow and always! You are appreciated and loved…

  13. Ana says

    June 11, 2012 at 7:51 am

    Happy Birthday Danielle,Que Dios te bendiga siempre.

  14. Jeannine says

    June 11, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Happy Birthday, Danielle! I’m 40, too! Still getting used to it, though.

  15. Karen says

    June 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    Danielle
    Happy Birthday – 40 was one of my favorite years! I was nodding away with your post – I was so unsure in my 20’s and gained much confidence in my 30’s – my 40’s have been rockin’! looking forward to the 50’s in a few years.

    Blessings for a fantastic birthday and wonderful decade
    Karen

  16. Maryan VW says

    June 12, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Happy belated birthday!!! Hope you had a great day. Liking the 40s here. 🙂

  17. ViolinMama @ A Rosey Outlook says

    June 20, 2012 at 8:18 am

    Danielle! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

    I pray when forty comes my way I feel that confidence! I’m longing for it currently and linked to you about it. http://roseyoutlookdose.blogspot.com/2012/06/honor-thy-mother-and-father.html There is something about the number 40, and I’m so glad you have grabbed the graces that come with it. And I think you are about to enjoy an incredibly blessed decade! I always hear how wonderful the forties are!

    Blessed year to you, and it may it be a year of peace, simplicity, and great discovery!! Much love to you!!

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