My husband is going to laugh when he sees this post. And that reminds me: Gentlemen, please leave the room.
Okay ladies, now that we are alone we might as well go ahead and admit it. Feminine moods and emotions are a delicate balance of chemicals. A delicate balance that is not always so … balanced, am I right?
Between pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, menstruation, and menopause, it seems there is always some way that we women are being held hostage by hormones. It’s nice to aspire to lofty spiritual goals, but my own day in and day out experiences make me painfully aware that I am a physical creature too.
But that’s no excuse for behaving badly. We should never let our hormones control us so completely that we victimize our families with wild mood swings, severe depression, or terrifying anxiety. Some women need medical intervention in order to manage PMS or PPD, and we should support them in getting the help they need.
But then there are the rest of us. We might not need medication, but we do sometimes need a good cry. Or temper tantrum. Or giant bar of chocolate. Or girlfriend to call us up and make us laugh about the fact that we just threatened to sell the 2 year old to the UPS man if he made a half decent offer. Not that I did that.
Personally, I find that being honest about my lack of control in hormonal situations is very helpful. If I can say to my husband (or even just to myself) “This doesn’t make any sense, but I need to cry right now” or “This doesn’t make any sense, but I am getting angry and I need to leave the room right now” I have won the battle already. I might still feel the crazies, but they won’t control me. I can see past them, to my saner self. And I know I will be back there soon.
How do you deal? How do you handle your hormones?
Well – old age has it’s blessings !!! I read your comments, remember, then reflect on how great it is to be free of all that stuff. So cheer up ladies, this too shall pass.
For the commenter asking about the medication we take. I work with a Fertilitycare practitioner. I taking Naltrexone. For me it’s been a miracle medicine. You can read more about Pope Paul VI and PMS at this link. Scroll down towards the bottom of the page.
http://www.popepaulvi.com/ncfwh-evaltreat.htm#pms
I sometimes need to cry, too, but I can keep it at a minimum with a full dose of Optivite PMT daily during "that time of the month" and a little DARK CHOCOLATE (milk chocolate makes things worse – it has to be 70% cocoa or darker). If I eat right (avoiding sugar) I find I can better cope also.
Or perhaps you already know….there is also a disorder called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). It is a very severe form of PMS that some women experience.
Prior to being diagnosed and correctly treated for me the worst was being misdiagnosed as bipolar/psychotic. (A very bad mistake for a doctor to make)
It was thru my understanding of NFP that I recognized the post ovulatory changes that went way beyond what anyone would consider normal PMS. Although I didn’t find an NFP only doctor to be helpful I am sure some of them are.
Just keep looking for the right treatment and doctor to help it is out there.
I don’t deal… those around me need to learn how to deal with me. I can’t help that I am this way. I am a creation of God you know.
NFP – forwarned is forarmed.
Once you know, get out of Dodge.
oooh. what a great topic, thanks, Danielle.
To all those who emphasized what we put in our mouths… I just wanted to add: someone once told me, (and I think they’re onto something) that in places and times where people ate "close to the earth" i.e. not processed food and not a lot of refined sugar, PMS hardly exists. God knew what He was doing in the design of the earth. And we are a bit too busy to go back to it. But I, for one, wish I could afford to go to the Whole Foods market and shop/eat like that, you know, where it’s already done for me…just pick it up and go. So unfair that it is so expensive. I haven’t got TIME to eat "close to the earth."
Hmmm… I guess I’m the odd-one-out here since I’ve never had PMS in my life. I always thought the girls in high school faked cramps and other ailments to get out of classes.
I also haven’t had a period in four years due to pregnancy and/or lactation.
BUT, ever since my first pregnancy, I have had hormonal roller-coasters! DH is still confused about it all since I used to always be so calm, cool and collected. Now I’m just a mess. I can’t think straight if the baby starts crying or getting the I-need-you-now-and-only-you fusses.
How do I cope? Hah! Not so well… but I’m getting better, and nothing I could say hasn’t already been said. For me, the first step was recognizing that I do have problems.
First I tried an Herbal Suplement called St. John’s Wart. I hated it. I think it increased my feelings of anxiety. When I quit taking it I had a hysterical fit (lots of laughing and crying sort of simultaneously) and then felt normal again. It was such a relief. However, it is a natural remedy which works well for some people.
A few months later I started taking Prozac. My doctor recommended this option because the drug is so well researched at this point that it is a lot safer than some other options. The first week I felt a little nausiated (nothing compared to morning sickness!) and after that things just got better and better.
My husband was nervous about me taking Prozac because he thought it would change who I was and he loved me the way I was. I think he was also worried that it would change how I felt about him. It didn’t do any of those things. It decreased my anxiety and pretty much eliminated bouts of depression (which were generally timed around my period). I found myself more functional and happier. More me than I was before, because there weren’t interuptions.
Anyway, although some people take Prozac or other similar medications while pregnant, I have elected not to. I have WAY more ups and downs which is hard on me and my husband. He feels like he is failing if he can’t make me happy. That breaks my heart.
Two weeks ago I started therapy and I think it has already helped. I know some people are reluctant to start with a therapist becuase they are afraid of what they will find. And I know from personal experience that getting a doctor with whom you clash is very emotional. My recommendation is that if you like/trust your pcp ask him/her for recommendations. Also, do you have a family member or friend who has seen a therapist? maybe they have some recommendations.
I hope this is helpful. I know there are a lot of stigmas involved in seeking this kind of help. When I first started Prozac it was very emotional for me. I felt like I was giving in or giving up. Like I was admitting that I had a problem that my faith was not enough to get me through. Now I thank God for the extra help he has given me.
And I agree with those of you who said frequent confession. My husband and I both try to go once a week and it makes all the difference in the world.
sorry, really long comment…
Well, I can’t comment on the morning sickness or the PPD…I’m just working on emotional ups and downs of PMS. For a long time I’ve taken contraceptives to manage my period and also my acne, but I’ve realized how problematic those medications can be even if they’re not actually used for contraceptive purposes.
Ok. So, basically, I’m in my 20’s and just getting used to charting out my periods since I don’t have a set of pills to keep things organized for me. It is a strange thing, to get to know about this part of me. I am just starting to realize how I feel before and right before and after. I really liked Regina’s comment about marking off days during which nothing major should be decided. I think that even in nonromantic relationships, that mentality helps me no overreact or become reckless with peoples’ feelings. Keeping in mind that I will probably be unreasonable for the next two days, etc. helps me still feel incontrol even when my body seems to have its own agenda.
If you are not charting your cycle with Natural Family Planning, that is a great place to start. Natural progesterone is a TREMENDOUS help but you have to take it at the right time in your cycle (after ovulation) or it won’t help like it should. Go to an NFP only doctor and ask them to prescribe natural progesterone that you can only get from a compounding pharmacy. This is bio-chemically identical to what your body produces. Check out http://www.popepaulvi.com/ to find an NFP only doctor. If there isn’t one close to you, contact the Pope Paul VI Institute itself. Naltrexone is also a great medication (especially for anxiety/panic attacks…trust me I know!) if the hormone therapy doesn’t help. Also, getting enough exercise & taking a good vitamin (like Optivite PMT) helps as well…I see others have recommened Marilyn Shannon’s book, great resource! God bless!
A friend of mine has struggled with hormonal imbalances since the age of 12. She has suffered a lot over many years, and has tried exercise, diet, vitamins, hormonal creams,etc. along with prayer, novenas, pilgrimmages etc. etc. etc. Although some therapies initially showed signs of promise, nothing has ever really worked long term. She has not found a cure but told me once that the struggle has helped her better understand and appreciate the Mercy of God.