Her: The baby has been sleeping really well lately.
Him: (without taking eyes off ESPN) Uh huh.
Her: He’s on a pretty regular schedule, you know?
Him: (eyes still on TV) Mmmm … hmmmm …
Her: I’m leaving you and the children. I’m addicted to crack and I’ve fallen in love with my dealer.
Him: (finally looking up from the TV) Can you believe Bill Cowher is retiring?