September 26th, 2012

I place my trust in Thee

If it weren’t for 4:00 am, I might have only a superficial relationship with Jesus.

When I find myself awake at 4:00 am, though, I take a deep a breath and wait for the anxiety to begin. Though I am not generally an anxious person, at that hour, anxiety never does disappoint. It rushes to fill the silence inside my head. It says things like:

“That deadline! How are you ever going to meet that deadline?”

“Those children! How will you ever feed, clothe, educate, entertain, and transport those children while protecting their precious souls?”

“That paycheck! How will it ever be enough to provide for your needs?”

“This life! How are you not a miserable failure at everything … EVERYTHING!?”

And other helpful things …

I know these are lies and distractions, but I never feel more helpless and alone in the face of lies and distractions than I do at 4:00 am. Even with my beloved husband fast asleep beside me.

So that’s when I get real close to Jesus. Over and over again, I pray, Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in Thee. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in Thee. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in Thee.

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I give voice to trust until I feel it.

I don’t lie awake every night, but I have come to appreciate these pockets of prayer whenever God sees fit to wake me for them.

Teach me to see you, to feel you, and to know you in the peace and stillness of this night. Touch my heart and show me where you lie patiently waiting for me — beneath the noise and chaos, in every moment of every day. Amen.

8 comments to I place my trust in Thee

  • Mary L.

    So, so true! Those after midnight hours…. Jesus, I take refuge in you!

  • You hit the nail on the head, Danielle! I’ve had a long string of those early waking times and anxious thoughts and prayer is a miraculous help at those times! I also find some nice religious music on my ipod helps at times. Or Catholic podcasts / homilies, etc. Either helpful learning something or calming …

    But your note is great – I have also thought of those times as great prayer times!

  • Jesus’ Sacred Heart is calling out to me right now. It’s a long story – the short version is my husband and I are being called to complete a total consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary and Sacred Heart of Jesus. Probably sounds weird to many. Heck, sounds strange to me not really knowing what’s in store. But … it’s where we are being led. And I’m hopeful that one day I’ll be able to confidently say at 4:00 in the morning, “Jesus, I trust in you” and truly embody it.

    Thanks for sharing. A timely message for me.

  • pam

    “Blood and water that gushes forth from the heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy for us, I trust in you”-Divine Mercy. My all hours of the night ejaculation.
    @Lisa, just completed my 21st yearly consecration the Louis De Montfort way. Prayers being sent your way.

  • Misty

    Having lain awake from 2 to 4 am just last night this is a most welcome post to read this morning. I also hear those “helpful” promptings at that time of night and often reach out to the nightstand for my rosary and begin to pray. I know that works because in the morning I have to search for the rosary beads that fell from my hand as the prayers lulled me back to sleep!

  • A favorite of mine at those moments too. Added to my worries these days is the election and the general mess the world is in.

  • Patty Sargent

    My go to when I’m awake when I shouldn’t be is the rosary.

  • PamL

    It’s so true–the worries of a mother never end. I find the same prayer also gets me back to sleep and helps me feel more peaceful. Good luck, Danielle!