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Coffee Talk is meant to be an open, charitable conversation — a source of information and encouragement for Catholic families of all kinds. As always, be nice or be deleted.
[tags]catholic family life, coffee talk, catholic moms[/tags]
Thanks to everyone who gave input into telling my daughter about abortion. She definitely knows that life begins at conception. I just worry that the adoption issue will make it all too personal.
A quick story I think you’ll all enjoy. I had given her bits and pieces of the ‘birds and bees’ as she asked. When she was seven she asked “exactly how do the egg and the sperm get together?” So I told her … and she rolled on the floor in laughter. She asked “do you and Dad do that?” I assured her that we did. She asked “Why do you do it – you can’t get pregnant?” I muttered a quick prayer and explained that it made a husband and wife feel closer to each other and it felt good. She thought about that for a few seconds and said, “OK – I just hope you close the windows. I wouldn’t want the neighbors to know.” I promised that we hadn’t had any complaints!!
BTW I second the Faith and Life series for catechesis and we too have had great experiences with our public schools.
Beth
Joan et al re: whole day kindergarten –
I’ve been apprehensive about sending my 5-year-old to full-day kindergarten. Today I got the bus schedule – I’ll be sending him out the door at 7:24 a.m. and not getting him back until 4:00 p.m.! Am I just a clingy-mom or is there something wrong with this?
I realize all-day kindergarten is convenient for working parents, but I wonder whether it is best for our children? That’s as long as I was out of the house working a full-time job.
BTW – this is Catholic school. Our local public school actually has only half day programs.
Beth,
Your last post made me laugh. Our children have been told, from a very young age what abortion is (for a variety of reasons although without being graphic about it) but they have absolutely no idea about the birds and bees (with the exception of our 15 year old who has gradually been given talks over the last several years from Mother’s Little Helper and The Joyful Mysteries of Life). I don’t think my kiddos are naturally curious. It’s almost like they have an idea that they DON’T want to know 😉
Slingin’ People-
Love my Moby Wrap. My girlfriends got one for me as a shower gift and I plan on using it again with #6!
Was a Baby NoJo user prior to this:still have it around to use in case of fire (I know it sounds crazy but we keep it on a hook next to our fire escape ladder-we sleep three stories up). I’ll admit the Moby takes a couple of minutes to wrap and tie (it’s really just a loong piece of cotton) but it is so much more comfortable to wear a baby on the hip, front or back-very versatile. I have had many people comment on how hip it looks-very tribal chic and they come in a variety of prints and colors.
Also of note-you can discreetly nurse in one using the cross cradle position!
Are you all watching the Olympics? I feel the need to share my enthusiasm. How about that gold medal swimming relay? Do any of you care to share your favorite Olympic moments so far?
My son turned 18 and graduated this year, as well. He’s not going to college yet for a couple of reasons. One is that he doesn’t yet have enough money, another is that he’s not yet sure what he wants from college. He is homeschooled and was a good student, active in Scouts and made Eagle, and is working full time.
My husband and I would like him to go to college if that is what God wants for him. I’ve noticed that boys sometimes take longer than girls to mature and to discern a particular call for the future — why spend money persuing a goal only to have it change in a couple of years? I’ve known some young men change majors several times before finding their feet!
Additionally, college really isn’t necessary for everyone: I have a degree; my husband, who is way smarter than I am, does not. He loves his job and is a great provider for our fairly large family.
Talk to your son about his fears. Find out if he has some talent or dream he wants to pursue, or if he’s maybe just afraid of growing up. Consider some form of career testing that can help pinpoint talents and provide motivation for education.
God bless!
Off to College-
College wasn’t an option for my husband at age 18 so he joined the Navy and received technical training and life experiene there and met me-bonus! When he decided that 6 years was enough of serving-he waffled about temping at jobs, waiting tables and even worked at a gym as a personal trainer. He felt a calling to serve our community and applied for an opening at the county police academy. Initially he was intimidated by the amount of degreed candidates applying along side him and was astonished when he was one of the chosen 48 out of a couple thousand applicants. He’s been on the force now for three years and can’t imagine doing anything else. The pay is very competitive-to give you an idea I’m able to stay home with my 5 children and live comfortably in the DC metro area. Unless he wants to transfer to a federal postion (ex. FBI) a college degree does not effect his advancement nor his pay, although the force will pay for any courses he wants to take. He is well read and enjoys listening to talk radio while on patrol. College may not be for your son and is not the be all end all and is certainly not the only measure of intelligence. Relax, let your son dapple in some trades, enroll him in core curriculum courses at the local community college while he’s finding himself. We all have different callings and blossom at different speeds. Be patient with him and I’ll pray for his vocation too. Peace.
I have a question for the more worldly of you. Recently I began working evenings at a clothing store to help make ends meet for our large family. My co-workers are kind, friendly people for the most part. Last week I was chatting with one of my male co-workers and asked what his plans were for the weekend. He replied about something he and his husband were doing! I was floored and muttered some vague “thats nice” reply. I know that I missed a opportunity to share the faith, but nothing like this has ever struck me so personally and up close. How should I bring this up with the young man again? Should I just let it go?
to HELP – I had a similiar situation when I was pregnant with my son. I talked to our state health department and they were great with info to help us make a decision. One thing that is important is if it is over five years since your last booster or ten years. Also, there is a time frame after the injury that you have to receive the booster – I don’t remember how long the window is. We will pray for you to receive the inspiration of the Holy Spirit in your decision and for your and your baby’s health.
To Katy!
Watching Michael Phelps break his own record as well as the world record! AMAZING! He is so fast! I also really enjoying watching Misty May & Kerri Walsh play volleyball. They’re an amazing team!
Gosh, I could go on and on…I just love the U.S.A and the Olympics make me so Proud to be an American!
What has been your fav moment?
to Shocked:
If you want to avoid confrontation, I would just let it go…but remember that people learn from example. So, just be as open about your faith as he is with you about his sexuality. St. Francis said “to go out and preach, and only when you have to, use words.”
I remember, too, when I came across a same-sex couple…I was floored. But I just remembered what I was taught by my parents and that is to love everyone no matter their creed or lifestyle.
Good Luck!
Yes, I have been watching the events (even though when the site was announced years ago I personally thought our country should boycott them….still have mixed feelings over it all….) and I agree that men’s 4X100 relay was AWESOME! I swam in HS (I was very average) and I know how hard it is to actually overtake/pass someone swimming!
I enjoyed watching the men’s gymnastics last night, even though I much prefer the women’s events (ON TONIGHT!) (and even more the rhythmic gymnastics–again, amazing!)….I was getting tears and chills and these huge smiles time and again when this young team would “hit” their routines and their landings so well. The high bar scared the living daylights out of me, I don’t see how they don’t just fly right off and into the stands!
Go USA!
Shocked,
I too would let it go. Is “Sharing your faith” your way of telling him that homosexuality is a sin ? If this is what you were considering, I bet he has already heard it all ,probably many times. I would just befriend him , like you were doing before you got this shock, and who knows if it is in God’s plan, he will set up a time for you to share your faith and the Holy Spirit will give you the words. Too many times , it seems ” sharing the faith” comes off as rude judging and that only drives people away.
I , myself have had several homosexual friends and I know that they know the Catholic stand ( even though most are not Catholic) and have no need to hear me preach to them. Instead I treat them as the humans that they are and deserve to be treated as and I have found that some are the greatest people that I have ever met. I discovered a long time ago that evangelization is not just pointing out where others go against God or the Catholic faith but sometimes showing what a true Catholic is by accepting the sinner for who and where they are and being there for them without judging or preaching. Many times once a person feels acceptance and love, Other things fall into place
thinking of slinging,
I have a friend who makes great slings and they are gorgeous as well!
here’s her link;
http://www.polkadotpapoose.com/
Shocked: How awful to be “floored” like that. Why does that always happen? Makes you want to never ask people how they are-who knows what you’re going to get? I heard a priest tell this story about Mother Teresa’s nuns. In some awful city there were prostitutes walking the streets. The nuns would walk up, offer the girls Miraculous medals, say a prayer with them, etc. The prostitutes accepted their kindness day after day, but who knows if it affected them. One day a man walked up to one of the sisters and said “Sister, that isn’t a woman, it’s a man dressed as a woman acting as a prostitute.” He expected sister to fall apart in dismay, but she just walked over, gave “her” a medal and said a prayer with “her” and went on her way. We can’t always insert the right thing into a conversation when we’re confronted with abominable behavior. But smiling and being kinds is always the right thing to do.
I love, love, love the Olympics. Before we got married my husband told me he didn’t want us to watch TV. I said that was OK, except for the Olympics and he was fine with that. (Since then, I have also added coverage over a Pope’s death/ New Pope because that is really important, IMO.) Now he even enjoys watching them!
My favorite by far was the 400M relay. That was just incredible, and made even more sweeter by the gloating of the French. I also loved watching the men’s gymnastics last night. Jonathan Horton is amazing.
As for boycotting the Olympics, I am very glad we didn’t. I have always been disappointed that we boycotted the 1980 olympics because so many athletes who had worked there whole lives were punished. New athletes would be punished this time, and it would only serve to anger the Chinese and many, many Americans as well. The Olympics isn’t supposed to be about politics, it is about sportmanship. It may have been a poor decision by the IOC to choose China, but that doesn’t mean that every country which attends is condoning China’s behavior. This is just my 2 cents. I don’t want to start a debate.
For the son who was worried about college, my oldest son (ADHD and several cognitive learning disabilities) went and did not need to go. He is a few (4) courses away from a film degree, but his present job is excellent and was based on his talent as a graphic artist. He worked at several jobs in his field, building his reputation and skills with practical experience. He now has companies offering him positions based on his portfolio and what they have heard of his talents.
My middle son didn’t want college at all and now regrets it. He will hopefully realize his dream of college, but he is married with children now, and that dream takes a back seat to providing for his family. His I. Q. is extremely high, but school was not challenging and he thought he could make a good life without college. Now he is not so sure.
Give them time to find themselves and discover where their hearts lie.
Olympics:
Would anyone be willing and able to record the women’s gymnastics events for me? We do not have local television. My daughter just started gymnastics this summer, and I would love to show her how the big girls do it!!! I would be more than happy to pay you. The more coverage, the better!
Thanks!!!!!
Amy
You can contact me via my website (click on my name); just leave a comment.
I really miss being able to watch them, although the fact that they are in China has made missing them much easier. I am hoping the good old US beats the pants off of China with double the medals!!!
To Carolyn A.
That is a long day! Is there any possible way you can send him to the local Catholic school? I fee strongly that Kindergarten should still be half day, and agree with you that it is geared towards working parents.
Good Luck! I hope the teacher is wonderful! That helps.
Public School – We too have children in the public school. Like others have mentioned we work hard to create a very strong Catholic culture at home. We do the obvious things like praying before meals, saying a Hail Mary whenever we hear a siren, night prayers, frequent confession (our goal is every two weeks, but it averages monthly), weekday Mass when the schedule allows for it, infrequent rosaries (we’re working on that!) and service projects usually through our parish. I home school RE using Seton’s materials and have lots of saint books the kids enjoy reading. We also really, really like the “CatChat” audio shows for kids. We listen to those in the car.
A couple of other slightly different things we do, which the kids love, include hosting a decadent “Fat Tuesday” party the Tuesday evening before Ash Wednesday where the kids are allowed to invite a friend (this is huge hit with the kids, since they have the choice of 3-4 desserts on a school night no less!), hosting an “Angels & Saints” party for kids & adults in October where everyone comes dressed as an angel or saint, and being involved in Little Flowers and Blue Knights. Every September for 8 years we’ve attend as a family a pro-life fundraiser at a local amusement park our kids love. In the summer we have the kids attend more orthodox Catholic summer camps. All in all it seems to be working . . . but time will tell. I hope this helps and gives you some ideas.
to Shocked:
For a slightly different take:
When I’m confronted with a situation where I don’t know what to say/do, I say a quick prayer. I ask that if I’m supposed to say something, that I be given the opportunity and right words to say. I used this the other weekend at a parish we were visiting. The gospel was the Multiplication of the Loaves and Fishes, and the homily was, in short, heretical. I happened to be in back at the end of the Mass with my toddler and Father was processing out. I said my quick prayer and guess what happened? There was another man standing right there by the door, and Father went right to him to talk. OK, no opportunity=I’m not supposed to say anything. People aren’t always open.
I don’t have the same problem with all day kindergarten that some of you do. I went to pre-school part time for three years before kindergarten (age 2: two mornings per week; 3: three mornings; 4: five mornings) and enjoyed going to school. I am concerned about the limited amounts of recess that have been indicated and the long bus rides.
Carolyn A.: Is it possible for you to take your child to school instead of sending him on the bus? That might considerably shorten the day for both of you. I always relished the time spent doing errands with Mom after school before going home.
Could all of you wonderful Catholic women offer a prayer for me and my family when you have a moment? Since a terrible run of multiple deaths in our family, I’ve not kept up on life as I should and put on blinders to problems I should have dealt with. As a result of my own denial, we have financial and tax problems that I am praying for strength to address properly and fix for our family’s well being. My fear and humiliation have kept me back and make the obstacles even higher. I have never failed at anything so badly before and have been leaning on Divine help to guide and heal me. Any and all prayers are desperately needed.
To the Mom of the boy going to college who is suddenly unwilling- I think he is getting cold feet and is just nervous. I would explain to him that you understand his nervousness and that he has already committed to a semester of study. Just do this semester and see how it goes, how much you are learning and if you want to continue. Because his reaction is so recent I think he is just worried about not doing well and being in a new social situation.
To the wood floor Mom- have you tried a hot glue stripping gun? That might lift what is adhered but in the end I think you will have to sand- a very tough but rewarding job and you will be wondering why you waited even a day!
And if anyone wants to win a free subscription to Romantic Home you can go to my blog where I link the contest on another blog.
I love free stuff.
Mary Alexander
http://www.againstallheresies.blogspot.com
I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I will be praying for you and your family. Keep praying and don’t lose hope- keep leaning on Divine help.
Dina S.
Carolyn,
Your thoughts on all-day kindergarten is precisely why I won’t send my kids to school. My boy is 5, and even though I don’t think he’s ready anyway for that, 7:30-4 is just too long of a day for anyone, especially 5 yrs old. For someone who has never been away from home, that’s a really long time. So, for us, that’s just one of the many reasons that we will be homeschooling, one year at a time. When I went to K, it was only 1/2 days, and that still seemed long. 🙂
In need of prayers:
I will certainly keep you in my prayers. I had similar problems after my mother died a couple of years ago. Just so depressed I couldn’t face my problems. It does become humiliating when things have been put off so long they cause problems and then people ask why I’ve let it go so long. Just know that you are not alone and not the only one who has made this mistake.
Hi, It’s late in the day but I wanted to weigh in on the college thing from my own personal experience. I HIGHLY recommend encouraging your son to go to community college, even if he does want to take a year or two off (which is also a great choice). If he wants, he can take just one or two classes at a time while working a job, usually they have night classes. This is what I did. I had an abysmal high school experience and GPA (not because I wasn’t smart, but for other personal reasons I didn’t “apply myself”) and spent about 3 years messing around and taking a few classes in a community college until one year, I just suddenly did excellently in all my classes, found a passion for history, and then transferred to a four year school (had a choice and got into the honors programs in both), graduated from there and went on to get a full scholarship to a very good graduate program where I’ve gotten a master’s and am working on my Ph.D. Many people don’t know, but 4 year schools (even very prestigious ones) are generally VERY open to accepting students who’ve taken two years worth of credits from a community college and they don’t tend to care how long it takes.
In a life full of truly terrible decisions, going to community college and giving myself the time to explore college at my own pace was hands down the second best decision I’ve ever made (the first best decision was marrying my husband).
Hi, Ladies.
Sorry this is so late, but I thought you homeschooling mom’s might like to know that although I didn’t get to ask Senator McCain a question he himself brought up homeschooling.
As part of an answer to a question about elevating American education, Senator McCain stated that he feels it is essential that our kids are given greater opportunities – whether those opportunities be in public schools, charter schools or part of homeschooling. When what seemed to be a family hooted at that, he acknowledged their presence by saying something like, “Oh, good. It seems that we have homeschoolers here today.”
It was so obvious that McCain is cognizant of homeschooling and that he feels it to be a viable option that I had decided not to ask Tiffany’s question if picked (was instead going to bring up the Obama born alive issue just to put it in front of the media, but didn’t get the opportunity).
I’ll be posting pictures tomorrow on my blog – I’m beat now. Peace. ~~~mary
Thanks to the responses about all-day kindergarten. This IS at our parish school, not public school.
Not using the bus would shorten up the day somewhat although it would deprive our infant of every normalizing her nap routine.
We’ve gone back and forth about homeschooling all spring and summer. It’s starting to look more appealing to me again. Our pastor says he is “100 percent against it,” but would support whatever we do.
There are no homeschoolers in our parish that we are aware of although a neighboring parish has quite a few.
It’s been mentioned but I want to state that the book The Joyful Mysteries of Life is a very good introduction of the birds and bees for preteen children.
Does anyone else think there might be enhancement drugs, etc, used by any athletes at this years Olympics? It seems as though so many sports have been plagued by this problem. I’m finding it hard to believe this incredibly fast swimmer is breaking all these records, and winning all these Gold medals without any enhancements. Anyone else thought of that?
Dawn in Mississippi,
Our girls go to a very small Catholic school (100 kids preschool-6th grade) in our small town. They have a scheduled recess at 10am for 15 minutes and another 15 recess after lunch. The kids who arrive early also play on the playground (supervised, of course) until the first bell rings. They also get PE twice a week. I think I would bring it up with both the teacher and the principal. If things don’t change, bring it up with whatever “school board” governs your school. Good luck!
About the All-Day K. I still think that 1/2 day K is better for 5yr olds. And I don’t agree with the reasons that most schools now only offer full day. However, if you are not called to homeschool– and not all of us are— then you don’t have much choice. I was apprehensive about sending my oldest, but since homeschooling would not be a good fit for our family, we sent him. And he did great. It was a big adjustment for all of us, and he did come home very tired at the end of the day, but he really loved school! My daughter did great, too, and absolutely loves everything about school! As for shortening the day, I would look into driving him to/from school which not only will make his day shorter and less tiring, but you or your husband will really enjoy that time in the car together each day. When my kids rode the bus, The day seemed much longer, but since now i drive them, we get to spend 15 minutes each morning talking about the day (instead of just rushing around getting ready and trying not to miss the bus) and 15 minutes at the end of the day to talk about what happened that day (instead of them just walking in, asking for food, and then going off to do their own thing) I actually love driving them, and wouldn’t go back to busing, even though it is much more convenient!! As for the baby naps…. the baby will adjust, and either nap at a different time, or learn to nap in the car. My little ones tend to do both at different times, but somehow it all works out just fine. If you don’t really feel called to homeschool, then it is perfectly fine, and maybe even better to “away school” Homeschooling is NOT for everyone!!
RE: all day kindergarten
We have full day kindergarten, five days a week, at our school. I was skeptical at first but it really was fine. The kids do much of the core subjects in the morning (with a recess–see above post). The afternoons include classroom time but also incorporate PE twice a week, music twice a week, library, etc. Our school day is just under 6.5 hours so if we needed to use the bus, that would definitely make for a longer day. I really do see the benefits of having more classroom time. It makes me wonder how teachers fit everything in during a half day of school?
Thanks for the responses re:recess time. Joan at 12:09: yes, I did mean actual time outdoors. No half-days — recess was cancelled twice due to the heat and once (well, twice now including today) it rained. If you get a moment, I’d be interested to hear what you have to say as an educator: do you think it’s too short? Why has the amount of recess time decreased over the past couple decades? I remember a national debate on just this, but it was years ago before I had kids and wasn’t really on my radar screen — there must’ve been pressure for more classroom time. Because of standardized tests?
Slings: check out the adjustable fleece pouch at kangarookorner.com. The fleece material makes it really, really comfortable because it keeps the baby snug and close to your body. Much more comfortable than cotton slings. It’s great for cooler climates or indoors, but way too hot for summer wearing. I especially rely on on my slings for the first three months after baby’s arrival, and for getting dinner on the table!
Catholic Children’s Treasury books: we’ve really enjoyed these books. Do they offend any modern sensibilities, though? Like the blue-eyed blonde Jesus, and the devils sneaking around. Just wondering, we have gotten alot out them.
Natster,
Thanks for your suggestions! I’m hoping her school does PE *daily*. I hadn’t thought about that. If that’s the case, I’ll be more understanding about the recess time. I guess I need to sit back and give it a week or two. We’ve really liked the school so far otherwise, btw. (-:
Thinkin’ of Slingin’
Hi, my mom actually makes my slings for me. They are the type with the circular metal piece (well, at least mine are metal). I found a picture here to give you an idea.
http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az4.asp
There are pictures in Dr. Sears’ books on how to use it in different positions – if you get one get creative. My mom gets a chuckle because she says I use it backwards. I put the ring over my left shoulder and hold my baby sitting up near my right arm and tighten it up. Works for me.
I find them very comfortable and have used it to discretly nurse a baby as well as carry babies up to toddlers. In fact, my family took a long hike one day and we ended up with a toddler too tired to walk. My husband took the baby and I took the toddler and put him in the sling – he weighed more than the baby but the sling made his weight a non-issue. I think my husband was sore after our hike but I was fine!
It is quick and easy to use and I can put it on while standing and holding the baby and put him it without putting him down or needing someone else’s help. However, that did take some practice. The ring is helpful to snug up to be cozy or loosen if my little guy wakes up and wants more wiggle room.
I haven’t tried those other ones that people had mentioned. This is all I ever knew about and I love it. The other ones people mentioned looked quite nice as well.
Any chance someone you know would have one you could borrow to try out? Good luck and don’t give up – they are all different – wish I could say which is the best – for me mine is!
Re: Shocked
I’d like to add a related question.
We had 2 women and their daughter move in next door. They are very friendly. I don’t intend to explain the situation to my kids unless they ask. Although they always introduce the daughter as “theirs” – so I suspect it will come up.
I’ve read the above advice to help me – but what about my kids?
michelle:
I would only answer the questions that are directly asked and be as direct as possible.
IE
Do they live together? yes
Is that child theirs? it takes 1 man and 1 woman to *make* a baby, but anybody can adopt.
Did they adopt their child? I don’t know
Why do they live together? because they want to
Why doesn’t so and so have a Dad? she does have a Dad, but I don’t know who he is.
Why doesn’t he live with her? I don’t know
Why does so and so call both those ladies mom? because she wants to.
Eventually the child will get to the point on their own where she will accept that the stuff doesn’t make sense and decide that she just isn’t old enough to understand. I think the best thing is to answer questions honestly, but also with very short answers so you don’t ignite their curiosity and to prevent them getting more information than they are ready to digest.
Dawn,
Where are you getting the info about recess? If your child is coming home saying they had no recess ask further questions. Were they given any free time?
I’m not saying your child is not telling the truth, but when something is out of the ordinary, kids might leave out information. After all, they are five. Find out what the school’s policy is if there is no outdoor recess. Are children given free time inside? Sorry I’m so late with a response. I was at movie night with the girls. We do that every Tuesday night after our yoga class. It’s a fun thing to do!
To Shocked:
I had something very similar happen a few years ago, only the person who made their sexual orientation known was my brother. I struggle with this and find myself not wanting to be around him. I have no advice, but I know how you feel – x100.
To In need of prayers:
You are definitely in my prayers – I hope all of your financial problems get resolved and this burden is taken off your shoulders.
On leaving for college,
If this were May or June, I might think about looking at other options, but if he’s been OK with it up until now I wouldn’t change anything. I also started panicking before I left for school but letting my fears get the best of me would have been an awful decision. The fact that he’s blaming you for “forcing” him to go to college is probably also part of his separation anxiety — he’s subconsciously making it easier to move on by creating conflict at home. I would encourage him to participate in every single orientation program possible. Meet other freshman, go on the silly campus tours, sign up for clubs, fall in love with college life and be distracted from any homesickness…I would guess he’ll be find by October!
I agree with the other posters who said not to make too big of a point about it unless it just seems to come up and you get a “nudge” from the Holy Spirit. But I would choose your words carefully when just chatting, like referring to his partner by name so as to never refer to him as a “husband” which he isn’t. That avoids giving tacit agreement to what is going on, and also puts the focus on the person as such, rather than defining him by the sinful behavior/situation.
And to In Need of Prayers, I will be praying for you!
Anna
Hi everyone.
Late post. We have my Dad and his wife visiting and it’s been a busy, busy (but fun) day for my children. I’m online late but it’s a nice bit of me time.
So many posts. Prayers for all, especially the woman with the terminally ill relative.
To shocked – must second posts of those who are of the judge not lest ye be judged philosophy. And such nice ways to answer a child’s questions honestly. I feel we are called to love, not to judge and I always remember that Jesus sat with the outcasts in his day – from prostitutes to tax collectors. I have a cousin who is gay as well as several male friends from high school and university. Very loving and nice men that really have been blessings to me as family/friends. Love the sinner, not the sin is my thinking.
Thinking of slinging – I have used slings with my four and can’t say enough positives about them. I also had a Mayawrap, which I found really nice for a newborn – especially # 4 as I could chase the older ones, type handsfree and nurse, etc. Woo hoo! Baby settles so quickly in a sling. I also had a Jellybean baby sling, which I’ve heard aren’t being made any more. It was a favourite as my youngest was 6-12 months as I could nurse her and then gently take her off me and have her nap in a cot while I did what needed doing with the others.
I got the slings on loan, too, from mothers in La Leche League. I asked if anyone had slings I could try out, the leader sent out a query to local LLL members, and I had sooooo many offers come pouring in. It was really nice. I got to try a bunch and then borrow my favourites. And then I won a home-made fleece one that was LOVELY for both of us last winter in the rainy months.
I never used the car seat to tote around – I used my sling. Check out the mayawrap website for videos on different ways you can place baby in a sling and babywearing sites online are plentiful – even on Facebook.
Oh – my cousin referred me to a terrific French website for younger children. Mine loved it for quiet time and I found it, well, it sounds corny, but enchanting. Very fun to explore, very age appropriate, very artistic (not really any words – except one spot we found with English words when you click on one castle and French ones when you click on another), lovely musical bits….you may like to take a peek: http://www.poissonrouge.com (which is redfish). Let me know if you like it, too.
Pax,
Karen
p.s. to Help!
I would call your local public health unit/clinic – and ask if possible to speak with a communicable diseases nurse about the Tetanus vaccine. I’m Canadian – here you can check with the Hospital for Sick Kids in Toronto’s Motherrisk (not sure if I’ve got that spelled correctly – may be Motherisk??) from anywhere in Canada – so I’m sure you could as well from US or elsewhere – about contraindications for pregnant/nursing mothers – by phone or I think on email. I agree that medical advice like that would be best from medical personnel in the know who can help you make an informed care decision.
I’ve been interested to read about the recess times. I can’t imagine some of the energetic little people I’ve been teaching (I’m a relief teacher, just finishing up a block) coping with so much inside time.
Well, just for the purposes of comparison, our (Catholic primary) school hours include “recess” (“little lunch” “play lunch” “morning tea” – call it what you will) for 30 minutes at 11 am and lunch (“big lunch”) from 1.20 -2.00. Ten minutes of that is compulsory sitting down “eating time” but the kids don’t have to jump and run off if they haven’t finished eating. Bear in mind this is Australia – outdoor eating is the norm except in wet weather. School starts at 8.55 and concludes at 3.05 for K-6 although Kinder ease into full days in the first couple of weeks.
It would seem that even high school students here get a longer “recess” break (or two) than some of your kindergarten and primary children, although I’d have to grab my boys’ diaries to check actual times.
Daily fitness and once a week sport during class time too – playing in the playground at recess or lunch breaks is not consdiered part of that.
China,
We had this come up quite a few years ago when one of my husband’s and my fellow (female) member of management , her “wife” and son were transferred to our area. This woman was super nice to both my husband and I as well as our daughter.The kids were the same age and got along very well. We resisted the invitations to see them outside of work until the company started looking shakey and my husband didn’t have an updated resume. We didn’t have a computer at the time nor the money to have it done by a professional and were overjoyed when this very nice woman offered to do it free of charge. The offer also included dinner and a play date while the resume was being worked on. We needed the resume done so to avoid being rude we went. After the date, my daughter did in fact ask why Justin had two Mommies and no Daddy. I simply explained that everyone has a Dad and a Mom at the beginning but that sometimes things happen where either the Dad or the Mom doesn’t live with the family for a variety of reasons( I didn’t specifically mention homosexuality as my daughter was four) I went on to add that sometimes aunts , uncles, grandparents, and friends join in to help single parents and make families.Yes this was deceiving but still truthful as this can often be the case. A few years later, when our talks got deeper my daughter remembered the family , who we had lost touch with after they moved out of state, and she asked if these two women were a couple. I told her yes and her reply was wow, “gay” people can sure be nice. I assured her that there were good and bad in all.
Kindergarten: Our public school has half day and the Jewish and Catholic schools have full day in our town. It seems to me that most people would prefer to have full day kindergarten, as a majority of kids are transferred into public school after kindergarten for first grade, but the town can not afford it. My kids have done both full day and half day kindergarten, and as with anything else in life, it depends on the child. My oldest loved school from day one and would happily go to see his friends and play than stay home with his mother and three younger sisters. My second one preferred to be with me, so we sent her to public school kindergarten for a half day program. My third child repeated kindergarten (she is a late summer baby) and having the option of sending her to half day kindergarten and then full day kindergarten as a mini first grade was a great solution to the situation. My youngest did half day kindergarten and spent her mornings doing activities or having play dates before school. I’ve always been grateful to have the choice in education as each child has a different temperment and educational needs.
Dear Shocked:
The April 2008 of Fortunate Families had a very challenging set of articles. They are a ministry of Catholic parents of G, L, B, T trying to bridge the gaps in the churches ministry to their children. The quotes from JPII and Cardinal Ratzinger were particularly challenging to me.
All I can say is pray before you speak. Its about helping them Love the Lord where they are first. Then the Lord ‘may’ lead them elsewhere.
Peace,
Mary B