sense of accomplishment, I am throwing away the to-do list I had madeup for myself this morning and writing a new one to read as follows:
1. Light the advent wreath and let some small person blow itout. Light it again to let some other small person blow it out. Lightit a third time so that it might remain lit for some largerperson’s breakfasting pleasure. Intervene 12 times in the next 5minutes to prevent one of the previously-mentioned small persons fromblowing out the candle. (Nurse the baby.)
2. Thoroughly explain why we do not have dessert after breakfast. (Nurse the baby.)
3. Put a shirt on a toddler, find shirt in the stairs, putit back on toddler, find shirt under couch, put it back on toddler, andthen find shirt in wet spot on bathroom floor. Squeeze bare-chestedtoddler and put shirt in hamper. (Nurse the baby.)
4. Detect a dirty diaper and change it. (Nurse the baby.)
5. Clean the bathroom. (Nurse the baby.)
6. Five minutes later discover a 5 year old boy carrying adamp log through the living room. Interrogate the child until heconfesses to finding the log outside, deciding it was too dirty tobring in the house, and then washing said log in the bathroom sink.
7. Give him a look that means “Take that thing back outsideright now, Mister” and return to cleaned bathroom to find it litteredwith bark and moss.
8. Clean bathroom again. (Nurse the baby.)
9. Convince 7 year old daughter that she would like to vacuum and then start a load of laundry. (Nurse the baby.)
10. Detect another dirty diaper and change it. (Nurse the baby.)
11. Wipe down dining room table and sweep floor. Return toliving room to find your abandoned vacuum cleaner being dismantled by ashirtless toddler. Find a hose that was filled with dust and otherunmentionables now empty and its contents on the floor. Sweep this,pretend not to notice the hose is bent a bit and does not quite fitback into the spot where it belongs, and put away the vacuum cleaner.(Nurse the baby.)
12. Return to dining room to find important papers (No, these can’t be those papers?? How on earth did these get here??) scattered across the floor.
13. Pick up important papers, make your way through a pileof dress-up clothes in the stairs, and return papers to the folderhidden away on a high shelf where they are supposed to be. (Nurse thebaby.)
14. Notice that the kitchen sink is overflowing withbreakfast dishes, that the toddler has now removed his pants and isworking on the diaper, and that you still haven’t managed to take ashower just as you hear your husband’s car pull into the driveway. Heand the boys are home from morning basketball.
15. Rehearse the smile you will use if he dares to ask what you accomplished during his absence. (Oh, and nurse the baby.)