Aug 12 2008
Coffee Talk Tuesday
If you are new here, welcome!
Coffee Talk is meant to be an open, charitable conversation — a source of information and encouragement for Catholic families of all kinds. As always, be nice or be deleted.
Technorati Tags: catholic family life, coffee talk, catholic moms
How much recess does your young student get at school?
My first-grade daughter has had zero minutes of recess the first three days of Catholic school. The normal schedule is 15min/day with 40min on Friday. I think that’s too little already, and my concern is that it’s cut out entirely if things get too busy, it’s too cold or hot . . .
This is our first experience with full-day school. I’d like to know what other schools/states do as a comparison. Thanks!
Does anyone have any advice on how to encourage young daughters to be feminine without focusing too much on materialism or how they look?
My four year old is just now getting into the stage of princesses, ribbons and frilly dresses. I think dress up clothes and the occasional nail polish on the toes is a normal part of every little girl’s childhood. But where do you draw the line? I want to encourage her to be feminine, but not focused on all the “stuff”. We were at the store the other day getting a birthday present for a little friend and she was enthralled by all the plastic high heels, tiaras, boas and dress up clothes, especially the Fancy Nancy stuff.
Any recommendations?
My son will be starting all-day kindergarten (yuck) and I think there is 20 min. recess daily after lunch. I think it’s way too short.
Good Morning Ladies!
I just want to offer this to any stay at home mom, any person wanting to go into business for themselves, or any person wanting an additional income, an opportunity to work at home. If interested, please visit this website http://www.unfranchise.com/. If you are interested, please feel free to contact me via email for more information.
mary.walther@yahoo.com.
I also want to thank all of you who responded to my question regarding the different types of methods for NFP. It was very useful information and I am reading about the different types and trying to decide on which one I will use.
Does anyone know if a low carbohydrate diet is unhealthy while nursing my 5 month old? I’m finding a lot of different opinions online. I’ve used this method to lose weight in the past and it works best for me but I wasn’t nursing at the time.
I was wondering what discipline techniques you use with your preschoolers. Timeout and taking toys away are getting boring (for me) and seem to be loosing their effectiveness. I am not that creative and don’t think well on my toes so I thought some of you other mothers would be able to help me out. Also, what do you do when a child screams and yells in time out, or tries to hit you when you put him in time out?
Dear Danielle– God love you, I can’t get over that you trust us week after week.
Dear Jennifer,
For a while you my want to play preschool. Box all the toys by theme. Schedule the day very strictly .
The other thing we learned: when taking a toy away, blame the toy! ” oh my this bear caused a fight! It must be sick. This truck hurt someone it must be broken. ” And let them run out of toys. You only need to pull this once (per kid) When you are ready they can earn back the toys– boring ones first.
Mary W. I am curious about work at home but whenever I click on them I get spam for a month. Could you tell us what the job is? Most sites have 3 pages about earning money if you buy a kit but never tell you what the kit helps you do. (even the one that ran an ad on Faith and Family)
Peace, Mary B
Thanks
Jennifer-
If one of my kids is yelling in time out they don’t come out of time out until they are quiet. That usually makes them stop. If they are carrying on in time out yelling, screaming and won’t stop they go up to their room (after a warning of course).
Good luck.
Any cute children’s book suggestions for a family with three boys that just welcomed its first daughter?
How about other “must-haves” for a young Catholic family’s library?
Thanks!
Caroline,
My 3 year old is the same way. I let her play as much as she wants with her dress up clothes; she has an incredible imagination and if this helps her be creative, then why not? She gets all the tiaras, plastic heels, boas, etc. as gifts; but she knows mom and dad do not buy them for her.
I also do not let her pick out which clothes we buy for her to wear. I make sure her clothing attire is simple, yet modest and what she should be wearing for her age.
I have learned also that if I am into fashion too much then she picks up on that; so I have to be careful not to make a big deal about what I am wearing or asking my husband if something looks nice.
When we are in the grocery store or if she sees a magazine cover with an immodestly dressed women, I do comment and I tell her that isn’t how we should dress. I try to emphasize that that isn’t what Blessed Mother would wear. This has a huge impact on her.
I hope this helps.
Jennifer D.
I am also in the same boat as you regarding disciplining techniques. What I have found that works is removing her from the situation by putting her in a separate room to cool down. If she is screaming I say I am leaving and shutting the door. She hates the door shut, so when she tells me no, then I tell her that she has to stop screaming or the door will be closed. It works every-time! Timeouts didn’t work for her either. But after I read a parenting article on the internet, the cool down room seemed easy and after we tried it, it was very effective in modifying her behavior.
Jennifer,
I really like the methods in “Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years” by Jim and Charles Fay. It’s about 150 pages of very quick reading (large print) (It took me a half day to read it the first time, and I re-read parts of it about every 6 months.) It gives some very easy and practical tools for disciplining this age group. I thought some of them were a little silly at first, but when I started using the techniques, I got immediate results! It’s focus, too, is on helping your child learn personal responsibility and accountability, even at this young age, which I like, because kids are quick to want to blame someone or something else for their own mistakes.
CHILDREN’S BOOKS: check out Elizabeth Foss’ ABC list on the left sidebar…she always has some of our favorites. http://ebeth.typepad.com/serendipity/2008/07/a-is-for-anthem.html
To the mom of the anti-shoe 15 month old – I sent you some empathetic good vibes a few weeks ago when you posted. My 16 month old at that point was hollering and crying whenever I would get a shoe even near her foot.
I had been leaving her shoes out so she could play with them, and she kind of started to mess with the velcro and walk around with them. Several days later, she’d try to put them on her own feet. I took that opportunity to go ahead and put them on and let her (clumsily) walk around in them for a while. I don’t try to put them on her often, but she has let me put them on a few times.
So, have patience! Hopefully things will turn around before it gets cold and shoes are a must.
Mary B,
you won’t get spam sent to your email. It is just a web page that explains the business and you don’t have to put in any email or name. The name of the business is called Market America. It is the “UnFranchise Business.” A cross between direct sales or network marketing and franchising. It is more similar to a franchise than anything else because of the systemization, standardization and the required way of doing things. It is based statistically on what the average person can actually and realistically accomplish.
Good Morning All,
I have read Coffee Talk for a while but this is my first post. I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on how to explain what abortion is to my eleven year old daughter. I pre-viewed her sixth grade religion book and it is mentioned. (We teach her at home for PSR so my husband I will be the one’s explaining.)
Now to complicate matters a bit. Both our children are adopted.
Our daughter is from Korea and our son has Down Syndrome. I’m pretty sure my daughter will figure out that babies with Down are often aborted. She was horrified when she realized that her brother was placed for adoption because he has Down Syndrome. We emphasized how blessed we are to have him but she was still upset that his birth parents did that. Any thoughts? How did you explain it to your children? Thanks and God Bless.
Beth
I’m looking for some advice. My mother-in-law has terminal brain cancer and will be moving into a hospice center later this week. My main concern is how we explain what is happening to our 3 1/2 year old daughter. She was very close to her Nana and I’m worried that she will be confused and scared about what is going on. I don’t want to keep her away, but I don’t want scare her either.
Beth –
I come from a family with five adopted siblings. My mother was very pragmatic in her approach. She instructed us first in what God says and what the Church says about the sanctity of life (sounds like your little one is already aware!), and then she presented the ‘abortion issue’ in very medical terms, with pictures.
It helped that we’d had the ‘where do I come from’ talk at age 5, right before my siblings were adopted. So I understood about birth and adoption prior.
Yes, it was graphic, but it made a huge impression and definitely helped form my beliefs and values on the sanctity of life. I was 12 when my mom had this discussion with me, and I think I went to my first pro-life march the very next weekend!
Good luck – and God Bless!
Leaving within 15 minutes for a McCain townhall meeting — anyone have a good question for the candidate?
Any advise for getting sweat stains out of my DH’s white dress shirts? They are REALLY bad!
Question for McCain:
With the recent lower court rulings trying to make it hard for parents to homeschool their kids (California, D.C) what is McCain’s stance on it and will he work with Congress to protect a parent’s right to educate their own children?
Good morning, Ladies! Our parish is hosting a free family movie night featuring Horton Hears A Who (the new version that was recently in theatres). Is there anything scary in it? Is it okay for preschool age children? Thanks!
Kat- Love the new Spray n Wash with Resolve, works great!
Kat: Oxiclean is great for removing stains.
Here is also a handy site about different stains:
http://www.chemistry.co.nz/stain_frame.htm
Hey Ladies,
I”m new here, but I love Danielle’s blog. My husband and I are recent converts to catholicism. I was wondering, how do I start to incorporate the catholic lifestyle into our lives. How can I start to set a godly example before my children, teach the faith, and live the faith….
Aisha
Aisha,
I am a big believer in the concept of domestic church. First off I suggest that you incorporate Religious symbols, artwork, etc in your home. Have reminders of the Faith on your walls. Pray together as a couple and as a family.
http://www.domestic-church.com/index.htm is a great website.
Hi all,
I’m writing from Belgium (but am Australian), so it’s the afternoon here. Normally I wouldn’t have the chance to write for Tuesday coffee, but my husband is working today, so I’m here at the computer while my daughter sleeps. We trade her between us – both working jobs with weird hours that make it possible to avoid daycare.
We’re expecting our second child and I’m really interested to get one of those slings you can wrap around yourself and have the baby with you. My husband is afraid they’ll hurt my back and maybe the baby’s, but I think they’re a great idea.
Have you had any experience with these?
Beth,
I explained it to my children by giving them the facts. I told them that women didn’t want the babies and so they had the doctors kill them. We were scheduled to pray for 40 days for Life. I didn’t show them any pictures or anything since they’re young (they were 9, 6, 4, and 2 at the time). They understood perfectly.
I just thought of something else – do you have any suggestions for a prayer before bedtime routine for a very aware 14-month-old?
Books: Trout! Trout! Trout! by April Pulley Sayre (GREAT illustrations)
Dearly, Nearly, Insincerely:What is an adverb? by Brian P. Gable (One of a series of 8 for the parts of speech – super cute way to help kids learn grammar).
Philadelphia Chickens by Sandra Boynton (book & CD). She actually has 4 family CDs & books. They are a lot of fun, for kids and parents.
Aisha,
First off Congrats on Entering the church. I am also a convert and joined Easter 2007. Here is a really good website on the Domestic Church: http://www.domestic-church.com
How old are your children?
MKRL –
Given the controversy about low-carb, you’re bound to hear different opinions. I’m convinced that it’s the most healthy way to eat in general, whether you’re nursing or not.
I think there’s a growing amount of agreement out there that refined carbs (sugar, white flour, etc.) are harmful. There’s less agreement as to whether it’s necessary to eat a bunch of whole grains and avoid dietary fat.
If you’re interested in some thoroughly science-based reading on the subject, I recommend Gary Taubes’ recent book.
Related (radio interviews):
http://www.cbc.ca/quirks/archives/07-08/nov17.html
http://www.sciencefriday.com/program/archives/200711024
Thinking of slinging – I love my ergo and my back is terrible. The weight distribution is amazing. For a little one, you wrap them in a piece that is sold separately. I used it more than my Over the Shoulder Baby Holder, and I later made a faux moby wrap that I didn’t use a whole lot because I thought the ergo was easier. In the US, I ordered mine used (although it hardly was, I think) through http://www.myfavoritebabycarrier.com because they have a 90 day money back guarantee. Not sure if they ship internationally, though.
Lenetta – this is really great to know. Thanks! There seem to be so many models out there; it’s good to have a place to start. I’m actually coming to the States in a couple of months to visit family and friends (my mother is American, although she’s been in Australia for 30 years – basically, we’re from everywhere and we move everywhere in my family!), so I may order one there and have it sent to my aunt to bring back. Thanks again for the tip!
Has anyone used any like these?: http://www.theslingconnection.com/Site/Home.html
fyi, don’t click on my name posted above. I added a d to the end of unfranchise, it should not be there. Sorry!
It is correct now!
MKRL —
One other thing my wife mentioned — it might not be good to try to lose weight *rapidly* while breastfeeding, so perhaps you shouldn’t switch to an extremely low-carb diet. But in general, a strong argument can be made that a restricted-carb diet is a healthy one.
To Thinkin’ of Slingin’: I would second the recommendation of the Ergo. I know it’s pricey but I love it. I just bought it recently for my fourth child because she won’t let me put her down. I’ve used the Baby Bjorn and the Maya Wrap but the Ergo is the best. And you can wear the baby on your front, back, or hip (unlike the baby bjorn). I bought mine from a chiropractor who explained that other front carriers but pressure on the baby’s spine which can do damage (and they’re not good for the baby wearer either!).
Anyone have any pointers on how to deal with a 20 month old that undresses himself EVERY time he goes down for a nap or bedtime? Snaps aren’t working. He can easily undo them.
He’s also urinating- after he’s undressed himself.
(No #2…yet!)
Also, this is going to sound gross, but this same little boy is coming to his mom everyday with poop on his finger when he’s gone #2!!! Amazingly, he’s not taking off his diaper, even though he does this in his crib. He’s just coming to show her that he’s got a mess, but the bad part is that he’s putting his finger in it!
This mom is a close friend of mine. She’s also got a 4 year old and a 4 week old baby. She’s at her wits end. I don’t have any advice for her really b/c my kids didn’t do this. I figured with all of the moms that read the coffee talk, someone may have some advice. Thanks in advance.
Good morning ladies,
First – thanks for the advice last week on my 4 yr old staying dry at night, I did get some cloth trainers for him to wear in case he has an accident.
Question – for those of you out there with 1 to 2 yr olds with not a lot of teeth – what do you feed them on a typical day? I am concerned that I am not feeding my 16 mo. old a very nutritional diet sometimes and that he eats too many sweet things (like fruity stuff) and too many snacky type things like crackers. He doesn’t have any molars yet so it’s not like he can just have anything to munch on (although he does very well with most things). I always chop up what we are eating for meals and offer it to him and then I supplement it with baby yogurt and baby food mixed with protein powder (since most baby foods don’t have much protein).
Slings – I love my Maya wrap. It is so very easy to put on and my baby loved it (and actually still loves it). I also purchased a Moby wrap, but found it to be too hard to just slip on when going to town and kind of hot for here in the south. My baby also didn’t like the confinement of it, so that’s when I switched to the Maya. I never had any problems with it hurting my back at all.
Horton Hears a Who? I don’t remember any scary parts really except that my kids thought the Kangaroo was quite mean… and couldn’t figure out why she was so out to get Horton…. so maybe that could be scary – from what I remember it was a pretty cute movie with a very life affirming message – “A person is a person, no matter how small” (I think is how it goes). But it has been a while and I was taking care of my little one most of the movie.
)
Low Carb while Nursing – I’m not an expert but I did try this myself since I always lose well on low carb, but I wasn’t able to do it very well while nursing. I just got too cranky and irritable and it wasn’t worth it to me to lose the weight and be that way all the time to my family. Hope you have a better experience!
Peace, Kristi
Kim F., thanks for that. The fact that a chirophractor recommends Ergo is helpful to know.
Lil –
Duct tape. Seriously! Just wrap a piece of duct tape around your son’s waist, taping down the diaper fasteners.
This Morning I ask for prayers for my eighteen year old daughter. She is having all four wisdom teeth removed. All four are impacted .Two are not so bad but two will require the removal of part of the bone which they are impacted into. Usually this would be done with general anesthetic, but due to her Pseudo cholinesterase deficiency (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudocholinesterase_deficiency)
and the fact that this surgery with general anesthetic has a very good chance of causing her vocal cords to go into spasm which requires the paralytic Succedocholine to be administered to paralyze the vocal cords and stop the spasm from causing permanent damage, we have obviously decided that her life is not worth taking the chance so she is having the whole procedure done with Novocain. Please pray that she has no more than minimal pain and no complications. Please also pray for a quick recovery . Thank you all in advance for your prayers !
I have a question for all of you homeschoolers out there. I am in the midwest, and am unaware of any homeschoolers that come into the library where I work. I do know that there are many Christian homeschoolers, but don’t know how many Catholic ones there are.
Questions:
How do you use your public library?
What are some resources you have used? which did you like or not?
what would you like to see at your public library to help with curriculum, etc.?
Would you use a special collection?
What are your favorite web resources that compliment your curriculum?
Thanks for your input.
Hi–I am one of the authors of the Serendipity web site mentioned above along with Elizabeth Foss. We wanted you all to know there is a new way to access the information there, a lovely new web page:
http://www.elizabethfoss.com/elizabethfoss/serendipity/
If you click on a subject area, you’ll find the link to the blog posts. The Alphabet path page will allow you to link to the book lists, the lesson plans, and the original story book for each letter of the Alphabet.
In addition, there are pages for math (Gnomes and Gnumbers) and language arts (Lively Language Lessons) and geography.
New plans for this year are American history, art, music, and poetry.
Plans provide read-aloud selections for each age group in the family. Hope you enjoy! You’ll find our e-mail addresses in the sidebar if you have questions.
Thinkin’ of Slingin’
I have used a sling for each of my last 6 kids and have no back problems (lots during pregnancy – so I know what it feels like!)
And, my chiropractor’s wife just borrowed one of my slings and he is very adament about people not wearing flip flops since they are bad for your back. I would think if slings were a problem that he wouldn’t want his wife using one.
I would say try it, there are many different positions, do what is comfortable. Remember that your child may need to get used to it in progressively longer periods of time – but maybe not. And, if something hurts, stop for awhile.
Congratulations!
MKRL,
You are right to be concerned as many low carb diets have been found severely unhealthy. The key is to keep good carbs ( foods that are high in dietary fiber, such as green leafy vegetables, celery, cauliflower) I suggest reading the Curves guide to carb sensitivity. even if you don’t attend curves, the diet is great. I have taken the classes( the same as reading the book) three times and healthily lost a lot of weight.
Kat,
I use fast orange hand cleaner. I work it in to the stain on a dry shirt then add water and scrub with an old tooth brush. I then let it set an hour or so and throw into the washer with a normal load. It works great
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for that. Flip flops are a big no-no with me. How do people walk in those things anyhow?! Have you used something like Ergo, or do you have one of those wraps I’ve seen? A friend of mine with severe back problems (3 herniated discs) has used a wrap, but I’m curious as to other people’s experiences. I’m like you – no back problems really except when I’m pregnant, so I’d be interested to hear what you think. Thanks!
Nursing and Dieting–
With a Five Month old, a DIET isn’t really the best thing… he still needs a LOT of nutrition and has a major growth spurt looming at 6 months…
I’ve found the best approach isn’t any sort of a diet, but just healthy eating…
So try not to eat junk food, but feel free to hit the potatoes and whole grain bread.
I HAVE noticed that when I’m nursing I tend to sor of go low-card in that I’m so incredibly hungry that I need to depend on hamburgers/eggs/milk and cheese
Also, low-carb WOULD be healthier than low-fat for your baby at this point, since he needs the cholesterol too…..
But really, 5 months old is a bit early to be dieting…. just try to avoid empty calories (soda and cookies and whatnot) and hang in there till he’s a bit older….. like nine months or so…
Also, remember that “weight loss” isn;t the best guide right now… Nursing chests add alot of pounds, and you’re probably building muscle in your arms from lugging a chuibby baby around!
That all said, you might want to just try adding in some crunches and a long walk with baby every day— you really do need to be careful with dieting while nursing…. at the moment baby’s nutrition is more important than what your scale says….
I need help with two questions. Any advice is appreciated.
1. Our two daughters will be beginning public school this fall. The Catholic school was very weak on academics. Now we must decide on religious education. We are new to the parish, and I am not sure about the strength of the RE there. I am interested in possibly doing Religion Ed. at home, but do not have a clue as to how to start. My girls are entering 4th and 1st. Has anyone used any online source? Or any textbook series that we can purchase?
2. My oldest daughter will be 10 this fall. She has very very few times inquired about “the birds and bees” and being my first, I have little experience in explaining. Plus, I can’t remember what my Mom told me, and I was the youngest, so I learned roughly from my older siblings. Are there any good Catholic perspective books out there that explains this. Plus, in the public school, I believe they begin the Health Education at this time, and I want to be armed with good information.
Any resources would be great. Has anyone used Colleen Kelly Mast’s curriculum on this?
Tiffany,
Thank-you so much! My baby girl is about to turn one, but I want to start now, so she is used to it, by the time she gets older. If you know what I mean
Aisha
Hi Claudia,
Sorry I don’t have any answers, but I just wanted to say I too am interested in any responses to #2. This culture is so saturated with horrible messages about the birds and the bees that I want to give my kids the tools they’ll need from the beginning to be grounded in what’s good for them, but I don’t want to take the approach my mother did (pace Mum!).
To Claudia:
If I were you I’d contact your DRE at your parish and find out if you can homeschool your daughters using the parish’s curriculum. That is what I do with my four children who attend public school. My DRE is very accomodating to religious ed “homeschoolers” and provides the midterm & final exams for us and all the materials, provided that we register our children in the program and pay the fee.
About explaining the birds and bees, I too have three daughters and my oldest daughter is 11. I try to keep things pretty simple. My parents went a little overboard on explaining things to me at a young age and it kind of freaked me out. So I decided to just take it as a “wait and see approach”. If she asks me a question about her body, I’ll answer it. But I try not to make too much of a deal about it.
Also, in my state (NJ), a parent has the right to examine the state’s health curriculum (actually all subjects are open) for the upcoming school year. Visit your principal and ask them if you can view the materials. If I remember correctly fourth grade was hygiene and fifth grade is menstruation and puberty. We had to sign a permission slip to allow our children to participate in the class, they don’t just “spring” it on them without advance notice.
Good luck!
Regina,
I have been thinking of you since your post last week. I have also been remembering you before the Blessed Sacrament and asking St. Monica’s intercession for you, your dh and couples in similar situations.
Marital issues of this nature are so private that it is sometimes the case that we cannot tell anyone, even a priest. I am guessing that this is probably your case (it is mine). Having other people out there who know and care can sometimes be the only consolation. And knowing there are saints who have gone through the same thing.
Thanks, Danielle; this is why I love Tuesdays.
Hi Jennifer – that sounds like a really healthy approach.
To Thinkin’ of Slingin’ and others looking for advice about baby carriers. Just wanted to clarify that the Maya wrap never hurt my back…I just never felt comfortable wearing it. When my babies were very little (1-3 months old) I could use it but as they got bigger and started squirming around I felt like they were going to fall out.
Thanks Kim F. Mayan wrap has one strike against it then!
No teeth baby – my 16 month old has exactly four teeth, and I do about exactly what you do – I seem to be heavy on fruits as well. I’ve been trying to give her more bits of meat, and eggs for breakfast although she doesn’t seem wild about them. (I’m still nursing 4-6 times per day, too.) She’s pretty healthy so far, but I worry that she’ll turn out picky like me if I don’t get a better variety of foods in her.
This is for Michelle, the woman whose mother-in-law has terminal brain cancer. I work in the Spiritual Care department at a Catholic hospital and have some good little pamphlets that might help in explaining the situation to your daughter. I would be happy to mail them to you. I do not want to post my work e-mail address or expect you to post your mailing address. What I will do is e-mail Danielle my contact information. If you are interested, you do the same (top of the page under “Contact”) and hopefully Danielle can forward your information to me.
(Danielle – I hope this isn’t asking too much of you!)
On another note, I sure would appreciate if you all would say a little prayer for me in dealing with a difficult family situation. Thanks!
Gee explaining abortion to my kids. That is not one I am looking forward to; one of the things I would rather they never had to know about. But, my younger brothers are all staunchly prolife, even if not all of them make it to Mass every Sunday. With them I remember they were upset. I guess it is just a matter of waiting until you think they are old enough to deal with being upset. My mother just said, ‘well some people dont want their babies, so they kill them’. Followed by, ‘Yes they could give them to us instead, but they dont want to and I don’t know why.’ Photos etc were not really necessary at this point, and we often went to rallies and got the rest of the details eventually at school.
Because my mum was pregnant (often-ish) and we had animals there wasn’t really the same birds and bees thing, but there was never any doubt that whatever was inside was a baby person (or cow or sheep).
I know abortion is a ‘complicated issue’ and as we got older we came to understand outside pressure and everything else, and we were always involved in collecting baby stuff for the various RTL groups, but I dont think there is any way of hiding the awfulness of what it is in a normal family.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my slings!!! I got one with my 4th, and wouldn’t go without one after that. I got my 1st and 2nd from Dr. Sears and my mom made my last one from a pattern we purchased online (fit for larger moms). I wear it to the grocery store, church, park…it eases your ability to nurse discreetly and, for little babies- keeps strangers at a better distance…(You know, those people who touch, kiss the babiy’s hands/face without asking!!!)
MKRL: I ditto the remark about dieting too soon…I found if I exercised too much or didn’t take in as many calories…a breast infection resulted soon after. I just cut out the junk, eat lots of protien and veggies with nuts and low glycemic fruit and the weight comes off slowly, while baby is very happy AND healthy. God bless.
My boys go to public school in TX. Weather permitting, they have 20 minutes recess every day.
MKRL, Tiffany & Diane:
Thanx for the suggestions. That web site looks awesome! Its so bad I think I might try all of these at once
Oops, I meant to address my comment “to NFP Help” but instead I wrote “to Regina”. I am sorry, my memory is not spectacular, obviously.
Diane,
I worked for an oral surgeon for years and had bony, impacted wisdom teeth removed myself with only Novacaine. There was no pain during surgery and the recovery went very well. Just make sure she follows all recovery instructions after the surgery and she should do just fine.
Off to College
Our second oldest son recently turned 18 and graduated high school. He is accepted and registered at a 4 year university about an hour away (he will be commuting). It is the same school his older brother just graduated from. Our son is having “second thoughts”, to put it mildly. He is extremely upset and says now that he does not want to go to a university, we are making him go. School has always been hard for him but he has worked hard.
How do we know if his fears are normal, or if he truly does not want to attend college? Should we consider letting him try the local junior college until he is certain? My husband and I both have college degrees and really believe it is he best advantage we can give him…but is college for everyone?
Any advice at all is welcome…and your prayers will help, too.
Claudia: We’re going to try Family Formation (http://www.familyformation.net/) this year for home-based catechesis. There was some buzz about it on other Catholic mom blogs (I think Karen Edmisten), and so we are going to give it a go.
You receive a monthly packet of materials. The lessons follow the liturgical year and the lectionary cycles.
Re: SLINGS
I love my ERGO! My sling and my baby bjorn hurt my back after 15 minutes, but I can wear the ERGO for hours without suffering from it. Both my baby and my 3 year old love being carried in it, and my husband loves it too – he always chooses to wear the babies in the ergo rather than bring a stroller when we are on a family outing. The sling was always a mystery to him. I’m only disappointed that I didn’t discover this product until I had my fourth child, it’s easily my favorite baby product.
Thinkin’ of Slingin’
I am a mother of four and I use/make/sell wrap slings with an instructional video for significanly lower price than the Moby brand. I LOVE the wrap for its comfort and versatility. My two year old practically lived in it for the first year of his life and now my 4 month old is in it all. the. time! Feel free to email me for more info! antoniosarah@msn.com
To midwest librarian: I think it’s wonderful that you are concerned about catering to your Catholic homeschooling patrons! There are so many great resources. My personal wishlist includes a lot of the titles from Bethlehem Books, much of which is historical fiction. Saint books, of course. For other ideas, you could look at the book lists for Mother of Divine Grace homeschool curriculum and RChistory.com (they put out a Catholic mullti-age level history curriculum). Also love2learn.net, which is a Catholic homeschool curriculum review site, and hillsideeducation.com, which focuses on literature. Catholic Heritage Curricula carries a few great items that are exclusive to them, such as Devotional Stories for Little Folks. Thanks again for asking! Blessings, Lynn in VA
Re: off to college
I personally don’t think college is for everyone. There are many things that one can do and make a good living and/or contribute to society without having a college degree. The world needs all types of people who do all types of work. No job is really beneath another because all are needed. Think of it, where would we be without the garbage man, street layer, construction worker, auto mechanic. Junior college may be the way to go or even a Vocational Technical School. If he is happy doing whatever job he feels passion for it is a great thing. We live in a country where we can choose that which we want to do and pursue it any way we want. Blessings to you and yours.
Sometimes I feel like the only mom who comes here who sends her children to public school. Have any of you others made this particular choice? Are you at peace with it? How do you help your kids stay focused on the Lord and grow in their Catholicism when they are surrounded by superficiality, disrespectfulness, and downright sinfulness 7 hours a day? My son is entering junior high in a couple of weeks- and I fear my last sentence is not much of an exaggeration! Thank you!
Regarding teaching about abortion: we prayed at Planned Parenthoods during the 40 Days for Life and have prayed outside abortion clinics with our young kids. From early on, we have simply said that we are praying for moms who don’t want to have babies in their tummies. We told them that God wants all mommies to want their babies, but sometimes some mommies have a difficult time because of certain circumstances. That explanation was good for several years and now my 8 and 10 year olds both know what abortion is without needing the specific details of the process. We answer questions when asked, but don’t volunteer extra information. Even from an early age, all children should be encouraged to pray for life.
Re: low carb while nursing
My friend and I both have PCOS (an insulin resistance based condition), so we have to low carb for the sake of our health, reproductive and otherwise. Her endocrinologist said low carbing while nursing was not only a good idea but necessary to keep her hormone levels up–and keep up her milk supply. BUT he did not want her going so low carb so as to be in ketosis–definitely not good for the baby. So go for the good carbs (green veggies) and stay strong with protein! And don’t forget your daily multivit and some extra calcium!
Just an aside, my friend and I both got pregnant (me for the first time in my life, she for her second pregnancy) after 6 months on the Atkins diet… definitely a thought for any of you struggling with infertility due to PCOS… I know that Atkins isn’t terribly healthy on the face of it–I don’t mean to start a debate on this. Please keep in mind that I’m recommending a modified version for those of us in particular circumstances. If you have severe insulin resistance problems, low carbing is often just what you need.
Praised be Jesus Christ!
now and forever!
Dear web family…
I just ripped the carpets out of my
living room/ dining room/ stairway..
I have intact hardwood floors
that are completely covered with a
“70′s” yucky purple
basket-weave,
gummy-
glue-
hardened
clay-like
gunk
firmly one with the oak floor..
YIKES!
I have tried
vinegar,
water,
Murphy’s Oil Soap,
vegetable oil..
and lots of
elbow grease ….
scraping with putty /paint scrapers.
I think I may be at this for weeks,
and
I do not want to use any harsh chemicals…
I have children,
a cute Bichon Frise,
and a lovely Yellow Canary,
…I do not want to fumigate anyone..by the way, Loosening it with water, oil, or vinegar works a bit, but there is still the scraping and then the clean up and scrubbing with a stiff scrub brush, and Murphy’s..
The oil worked, but
posed a particular challenge ,
because the dog started licking it off the floor!
YUK!
any time saving ideas that are non toxic?
Thank you in advance,
Ellen from Buffalo,NY
Kerri at 10:32
You are not alone. We too are sending our girls to public school after years in Catholic school. I struggled with the decision, but academics are very important to DH and me, and the public schools are great. We moved to this area last year and our second daughter struggled in Kindergarten at the Catholic school, but blossomed during summer school at the public school. That helped me know that we made the right decision to switch.
As for battling the culture, we just emphasize our Catholic values as often as possible. Plus, every Sunday, they see the other public schooled kids at church, and that helps. Both my husband and I were public schooled, and we turned out fine. It is the home environment that really is the influence. You must remember that we are in charge.
Peace, Claudia
Aisha,
I completely know what you mean. Our son is 4months old and we area already exposing him to the Faith. He goes to Mass with us and we bless him. We take him up to be blessed during Holy Communion. (It is the cutest thing everytime a priest blesses him he gets a huge smile on his face if he is awake). We include him in our family prayer time. If you want feel free to email me at trghigliotti at gmail dot com. I am very interested in the concept of the domestic church and have done quite a bit of research into it and how to implement it.
To “Oops” Thank you for your prayers. You are right, there are so many things which are way too private, and since I am a private person by nature anyway, that makes it even more difficult to share. I have shared some with a very close friend, but I mostly feel that I am suffering alone and in silence. I was very uplifted this morning to think that you have been praying for us to the Blessed Sacrament. It really means a lot. So Thank you!
Pro-life curriculum:
http://www.goodshephsv.org/pro_life_mi.htm
I have not read the entire thing, but it has been highly recommended by trusted people. You may find some good ideas for introducing the subject of abortion.
Many parents fear their children will be horrified when you explain abortion to them. Remember, THEY SHOULD BE! Pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
Claudia,
I highly recommend “Faith and Life” by Ignatius Press, as well as religious titles available through Catholic Heritage Curriculum. You also can’t go wrong with the old Baltimore Catechisms!
Thinking of Slinging-
I have used just about everything! A ring sling, pocket sling, wrap, and ergo. So, here’s my thoughts: I love the pocket or ring sling for when babies are brand new. Nothing easier to slip them into when you’re out doing errands and will be in and out of the car. In fact, you just leave the sling on while you drive (like a sash), and baby pops in in less than 20 seconds. Baby can be held cradle-style while young, which is really good for their spines. And then as they grow, they can be put in facing you, or facing out, or on your hip. But when they get to be about 15-20 pounds (depending on you…), these can start to cause some back or shoulder fatigue if you plan on wearing a child for more than about 20 minutes. I really like the wrap myself when I’m going to wear a young baby for extended periods (rather than quick in-and-out errands), but because it does take some practice, it can seem intimidating to use, and my husband won’t touch it (but he will use a sling). The ergo is wonderful for when they get to be older and heavier (8-9 months or so). We used ours until baby was almost 2, when I was too pregnant to continue. In my opinion, it is too bulky to comfortably wear in the front or hip position–the slings and wrap are much nicer for those. (In winter, I like to put baby in the wrap and wear them zipped up inside my coat with me. When we lived in Alaska, this ensured baby stayed warm, even when it was 40 below outside!). But for babies who are 20 ounds or so, the ergo is the most comfortable option for wearing on the back, and my husband was a big fan as well. I hope this is helpful. (I know the ergo comes with a separate infant insert, but I would honestly recommend skipping that and spending that money on a sling of some sort to use for those early days. my opinion…)
Dani, this is great – thank you. Wish I could say more but it’s dinner-time this side of the Atlantic. Have a great day everyone!
I have a mei tai – an asian style baby carrier – that I just love. I bought it with my third because I need a truly hands-free carrier. I could rave on and on, but you can check it out yourself at babyhawk.com .
To Ellen,
I would try a citrus solvent, like “Goo Gone.” It works very well, but it does say on the bottle to keep it away from pets and children. And it makes the floors very oily, so you have to wash well with soap and water when you’re done.
There are non-toxic citrus solvents too. Check out this website:
http://www.citrusdepot.net/
We took up our 70′s era shag carpet five years ago, but all we had to deal with was 1 billion or so staples! Good luck!
Wood floors—the only non-toxic thing we did with our old ballroom oak floors was sand them down to real wood then refinish….Lots of work, yes. But so gorgeous when we got the old glue finish off of it. Then we finished it with a water-based seal. You could always wax it like 50 years ago, but I don’t know how well that wears in a busy household. Good luck!
Slings—I used the Nojo sling with great success—it took me a little bit to get used to it with my first, but it was the quickest thing to take on and off. Plus, each of my babies loved to sit in it cross-legged and look where we were going–kind of like a kangaroo. Ebay is a great place to find them for a good price.
I have tried to use the wrap/huge-fabric-slings-with-the-material- that-never-ends but I always feel as though I am wrapped up like a mummy. Not my favorite.
A new types of sling that I used with my last baby was called the “Sleepy Wrap” and “Baby Nest” carrier. They were both SO COMFORTABLE, and very easy to take on and off. Because the fabric is stretchy, I could work around the house and it distributed the weight evenly when my back felt delicate.
Hope that helps a little
Re Recess:
I am a (Full Day, I hear you loud and clear Mom with the Kindergartener, I dont’ like it either!) Kindergarten teacher in a Catholic School in a NYC suburb. When referring to recess, are you talking about actual time outside in the school yard? My class usually gets 20 minutes outside after 20 minutes of eating lunch inside. Plus, my class gets free play for about 20 minutes every day in the classroom. When we have bad weather the class stays in the classroom during recess and plays or watches a movie. We also have a 15 minute rest period every day.
If your First grader hasn’t had “recess”, is it because she has had half days this week?
has anyone ever purchased (or received) a “Soft Saint” for one of their children? I ask children typically receive about $100 on their birthdays, and I am looking for a way to buy them one nice thing as opposed to a bunch of garbage toys. I am especially interested in these dolls because they actually offer my children’s patron Saints (Jeanne d’arc, Kateri, Joseph, Maximilian, and Rose of Lima). I hate to spend that much on a doll, but perhaps they are worth it? What do you all think?
http://www.softsaints.com
Dear Kerri,
You aren’t odd man out. I homeschooled but my teens used the public High School.
Slings- If you’re broke or just want to try its just 3 yards of material and a knot. I used that for #4 bt I’m so short most slings and backpacks left me top heavy. I just sat them on my hip and live one handed.
Librarian— BLESS YOU! Collections of Saint books would be great. Our kids can read them all and we can just buy them the ones special to them. I’d also suggest the resource books: Harp and Laurel Wreath and A Catholic Homeschool treasury (Catholic Homeschool Companion? ) Sorry mine isn’t on the shelf!
Regarding Children’s Books:
The Catholic Children’s Treasure Box Books are excellent! I am using them with my two older sons (4 and 3) as we homeschool our first preschool year. There are plenty of stories in there for girls and boys alike (which is fortunate since I am in the same position as you–our first daughter arrives next month).
To Thinkin’ of Slingin’ –
I agree w/ Dani. I love the ring sling for when the babies are little, but also found that once they get around 15-20 lbs my shoulder starts to hurt after a few minutes. I just bought an ergo and love it! I did feel guilty at first dropping $100 on a baby carrier, but felt reassured after trying it out. I was able to carry my 30 lb. two year old son on my back comfortably on a 25 minute hike! I also have one of those baby backpack carriers w/a metal frame, and my shoulders were killing me within minutes! Just to give you a comparison…
I did buy the infant insert for smaller babies but have yet to use it, since #3 won’t be here til January. My ring sling only cost $18, so you might want to invest in both. Good luck!
To Kerri:
You are not the only one on this board who sends your children to public school! We do, and we’ve had a very positive experience with our public school, after a not so great experience at our parochial school. I too was very concerned that my children would turn into little heathens and be exposed to “bad” children and relativisitic teachers. But the truth is, there is no guarantee that anyone’s children will grow in the faith and become good holy Christians and remain that way throughout adulthood. I think it’s a mistake to believe that there is a “magic bullet”: if only we do this, than this will happen. It’s also a mistake to think that everyone else’s children are really good or really awful. You just don’t know. Jesus had a huge issue with the Pharisees and their outwardly show of religious fervor and false piety. As parents, all we can really do is live a good life, expose our children to the faith as best as we can, and be good examples of what it is to be a Catholic family. The rest is up to God.
I have tons of different kinds of wraps, slings, carriers. I have found http://www.thebabywearer.com to be extremely helpful. That site has reviews of carriers, tips and tricks and explains the pros and cons of all the differnt types. You have to register, just your e-mail and password and they never contact you.
I have also found http://www.mamatoto.org to be helpful when I was starting out and confused about certain positions.
I have two Maya ring slings, and I used those the least, the rings irritated me after awhile and I disliked having so much extra fabric flowing for the hip carry. I used it in the beginning. I did like the pocket so I could pop my keys in there and wallet and be ready to go. I have 2 Hotslings and my husband has two. We like those. Super easy for early months and hip carries. I also have a Didymos that I reallly, REALLY, like and a Moby Wrap that my husband insists is a must to any parent. He loves that thing.
I also used the Asian Baby Carrier called a Mei Tai a lot. I bought mine from a WAHM and I cannot say how helpful it is while vacuuming or cleaning up the kitchen!
I hope you find what you like.
Jeannie
Concerning sharing the birds and the bees,
I listened to a great talk (on CD) by Mary Flo Ridley called Shaping your Child’s Sexual Character. I think it has a great approach to picturing this “birds and bees talk” as an unveiling many layers a piece at a time; there shouldn’t just be ONE talk because by then it’ll be too late. You need to shape your child and share a little bit more each time you broach the subject….beginning with what kids are naturally curious about and already asking questions about.
Check it out at:
http://www.justsayyes.org/provider/mary_flo_ridley/shaping_child
to “thinking of college”
I highly suggest sending your son to college. Yes we need skilled trade workers but times have changed and it is very difficult to rely on work. My Dad was a laborer for 40 years (without a degree)and his company paid him well and took care of retirement. Companies simply are not doing that anymore. I am a Director in a placement firm and work with dozens of very big compaies throughout the US. When we talk with a candidate without a degree we tell them almost immediately that we will not be able to help them. You and I know very well that a degree after 15 years experience is simply a piece of paper hanging on the wall, but companies still like to hire those who have degrees. I have even worked with companies that are looking for Skilled Trades workers with degrees!
Good Luck!
Hi everyone, I just thought I would post today and let you know that I made a delicious cake. I am new to this whole grown-up, kitchen, baking, home-owning thing, so I am pretty impressed with myself that I have a recipe that works and pleases everyone and is versatile.
I named it the Birthday Breakfast Cake because I sincerely believe, deep down in my heart that everyone should get a lot of cake on her birthday. So you ought to make this cake for the morning and then, you know, some delicious chocolate creation for after dinner, or before dinner, or um…for dinner : )
The original recipe, the one I use, is gluten free, but if you’re one of those lucky people who can eat wheat flour, you can use that instead of rice flour. Also, I’ve used a gluten free baking mix purchased from “Gluten Free Naturals” instead of brown rice flour.
I was going to type up this big, long recipe (they don’t seem long until you try to type them), but my friend is visiting me and it is her birthday so we have some serious celebrating to do. I’ll post the recipe later, I promise!
Claudia:
A great source for “sex talks” is One More Soul, http://www.omsoul.com
Lots of products, including several just for teens.
I stepped on a rusty nail late Saturday. It left a tiny puncture where you can see the spot it went it. I am overdue for my next tetanus shot, but I am 3months pregnant. After doing some research on it online, the government agencies that make the vaccination of course promote it and say it’s completely safe. Other sites tell stories of women who repeatedly miscarried after recieving the shot, or women who got the shot at 3mo pregnant delivered a child with cerebral palsy.
Has anyone received this shot in pregnancy and not had any adverse reactions to it, either by you or your child?
Any advice? I am hoping to avoid getting it if I can, and maybe see if there is a blood test they can do to see if I have tetanus first….
Regarding public school:
Please remember that there are good influences at public school, too, although the best influence in a child’s life is his or her parents and THEIR values regarding faith, the culture and education itself.
We have had a good experience overall and while I have considered full-time homeschooling, I truly felt like my best role is to supplement my kids’ public school education with those things that only I (and my husband) can teach them–our faith, our love for literature and history, our belief system, our values.
These “subjects” are the ones I feel confident to teach. It’s the algebra and biology that I’m not competent to tackle
Another consideration: I actually don’t mind my kids getting other viewpoints, particularly regarding academics. They can thrive in that environment — as long as a parent’s hand is on the rudder.
I would recommend that you contact an OB, family doctor, or nurse who you trust and ask their advice. Medical advice cannot reasonably be obtained from anecdotes. And I would presume that most stories found on-line would convey bad outcomes and not the good/neutral ones. You never hear on the evening news about that thousands of children who go to school and come home daily without incident, only the ones who are harmed/abducted.
Good luck and God bless.
public school:
)
I was at one time a public school teacher and also a Catholic school teacher (both elementary level). Both had value, both had down sides, not the least of which is that sin problem we all have. I also know many families doing all sorts of schooling: home, Catholic, non-Catholic Christian, public. One of the most impressive families I have known (in terms of family unity, faith, obvious love for each other) had kids ranging in age from early elementary through high school and all the kids were in public school. I asked the mom how she did it and she said that they worked on developing a strong family culture…”this is the way WE do things because we are Catholic and we value these things”…and by being open an honest with them about how others do not share those values. This was done not in a self righeous way, but a way that helped the kids see that they were so blessed to have their faith and inspired them to pray for teachers, classmates, etc.
And to be blunt, and hopefully not offend anyone, some Catholic schools are more of a danger to our kids’ faith than the public school. Someone once said that it is better to fight for ones faith in an unfriendly environment, than to have it stolen in an apparently friendly one. (or something to that effect
going to college: I second the opinion that college is important. That doesn’t mean that it is not okay to take up a trade. Going to college, jr or university, proves to your future employer that you can learn, want to learn, and can work hard, among other things. This is what gets you in the door. Then you learn the skills that make you good at your chosen career, whatever it may be.
To midwest librarian,
I am also from the midwest, very small town midwest with a small library. There are not a lot of home school families in my area, and even fewer are Catholic home schoolers, one local family is my own. Our librarian is not Catholic, and there are very few Catholic books in our library I’m afraid. However, our librarian, a retired school teacher, is very pro-home schooling and very supportive of us. The way I use our library is to ask for materials through interlibrary loan. She will get anything for me I ask that she is able to get in our state. During the school year we are given the same kinds of *perks* schools are given, no fees for books on loan, for example. Another thing nice thing our librarian does for us is allows us to keep resources that come from our library for as long as we need them without due dates and penalties.
I suppose all these things can be done easier in a small town library, but they sure do help our family! It is just so nice to know that your librarian supports what you’re doing. Your concern shows that beautifully. Thank you for that for all the families you will be helping in the future.
Thanks to everyone who gave input into telling my daughter about abortion. She definitely knows that life begins at conception. I just worry that the adoption issue will make it all too personal.
A quick story I think you’ll all enjoy. I had given her bits and pieces of the ‘birds and bees’ as she asked. When she was seven she asked “exactly how do the egg and the sperm get together?” So I told her … and she rolled on the floor in laughter. She asked “do you and Dad do that?” I assured her that we did. She asked “Why do you do it – you can’t get pregnant?” I muttered a quick prayer and explained that it made a husband and wife feel closer to each other and it felt good. She thought about that for a few seconds and said, “OK – I just hope you close the windows. I wouldn’t want the neighbors to know.” I promised that we hadn’t had any complaints!!
BTW I second the Faith and Life series for catechesis and we too have had great experiences with our public schools.
Beth
Joan et al re: whole day kindergarten -
I’ve been apprehensive about sending my 5-year-old to full-day kindergarten. Today I got the bus schedule – I’ll be sending him out the door at 7:24 a.m. and not getting him back until 4:00 p.m.! Am I just a clingy-mom or is there something wrong with this?
I realize all-day kindergarten is convenient for working parents, but I wonder whether it is best for our children? That’s as long as I was out of the house working a full-time job.
BTW – this is Catholic school. Our local public school actually has only half day programs.
Beth,
Your last post made me laugh. Our children have been told, from a very young age what abortion is (for a variety of reasons although without being graphic about it) but they have absolutely no idea about the birds and bees (with the exception of our 15 year old who has gradually been given talks over the last several years from Mother’s Little Helper and The Joyful Mysteries of Life). I don’t think my kiddos are naturally curious. It’s almost like they have an idea that they DON’T want to know
Slingin’ People-
Love my Moby Wrap. My girlfriends got one for me as a shower gift and I plan on using it again with #6!
Was a Baby NoJo user prior to this:still have it around to use in case of fire (I know it sounds crazy but we keep it on a hook next to our fire escape ladder-we sleep three stories up). I’ll admit the Moby takes a couple of minutes to wrap and tie (it’s really just a loong piece of cotton) but it is so much more comfortable to wear a baby on the hip, front or back-very versatile. I have had many people comment on how hip it looks-very tribal chic and they come in a variety of prints and colors.
Also of note-you can discreetly nurse in one using the cross cradle position!
Are you all watching the Olympics? I feel the need to share my enthusiasm. How about that gold medal swimming relay? Do any of you care to share your favorite Olympic moments so far?
My son turned 18 and graduated this year, as well. He’s not going to college yet for a couple of reasons. One is that he doesn’t yet have enough money, another is that he’s not yet sure what he wants from college. He is homeschooled and was a good student, active in Scouts and made Eagle, and is working full time.
My husband and I would like him to go to college if that is what God wants for him. I’ve noticed that boys sometimes take longer than girls to mature and to discern a particular call for the future — why spend money persuing a goal only to have it change in a couple of years? I’ve known some young men change majors several times before finding their feet!
Additionally, college really isn’t necessary for everyone: I have a degree; my husband, who is way smarter than I am, does not. He loves his job and is a great provider for our fairly large family.
Talk to your son about his fears. Find out if he has some talent or dream he wants to pursue, or if he’s maybe just afraid of growing up. Consider some form of career testing that can help pinpoint talents and provide motivation for education.
God bless!
Off to College-
College wasn’t an option for my husband at age 18 so he joined the Navy and received technical training and life experiene there and met me-bonus! When he decided that 6 years was enough of serving-he waffled about temping at jobs, waiting tables and even worked at a gym as a personal trainer. He felt a calling to serve our community and applied for an opening at the county police academy. Initially he was intimidated by the amount of degreed candidates applying along side him and was astonished when he was one of the chosen 48 out of a couple thousand applicants. He’s been on the force now for three years and can’t imagine doing anything else. The pay is very competitive-to give you an idea I’m able to stay home with my 5 children and live comfortably in the DC metro area. Unless he wants to transfer to a federal postion (ex. FBI) a college degree does not effect his advancement nor his pay, although the force will pay for any courses he wants to take. He is well read and enjoys listening to talk radio while on patrol. College may not be for your son and is not the be all end all and is certainly not the only measure of intelligence. Relax, let your son dapple in some trades, enroll him in core curriculum courses at the local community college while he’s finding himself. We all have different callings and blossom at different speeds. Be patient with him and I’ll pray for his vocation too. Peace.
I have a question for the more worldly of you. Recently I began working evenings at a clothing store to help make ends meet for our large family. My co-workers are kind, friendly people for the most part. Last week I was chatting with one of my male co-workers and asked what his plans were for the weekend. He replied about something he and his husband were doing! I was floored and muttered some vague “thats nice” reply. I know that I missed a opportunity to share the faith, but nothing like this has ever struck me so personally and up close. How should I bring this up with the young man again? Should I just let it go?
to HELP – I had a similiar situation when I was pregnant with my son. I talked to our state health department and they were great with info to help us make a decision. One thing that is important is if it is over five years since your last booster or ten years. Also, there is a time frame after the injury that you have to receive the booster – I don’t remember how long the window is. We will pray for you to receive the inspiration of the Holy Spirit in your decision and for your and your baby’s health.
To Katy!
Watching Michael Phelps break his own record as well as the world record! AMAZING! He is so fast! I also really enjoying watching Misty May & Kerri Walsh play volleyball. They’re an amazing team!
Gosh, I could go on and on…I just love the U.S.A and the Olympics make me so Proud to be an American!
What has been your fav moment?
to Shocked:
If you want to avoid confrontation, I would just let it go…but remember that people learn from example. So, just be as open about your faith as he is with you about his sexuality. St. Francis said “to go out and preach, and only when you have to, use words.”
I remember, too, when I came across a same-sex couple…I was floored. But I just remembered what I was taught by my parents and that is to love everyone no matter their creed or lifestyle.
Good Luck!
Yes, I have been watching the events (even though when the site was announced years ago I personally thought our country should boycott them….still have mixed feelings over it all….) and I agree that men’s 4X100 relay was AWESOME! I swam in HS (I was very average) and I know how hard it is to actually overtake/pass someone swimming!
I enjoyed watching the men’s gymnastics last night, even though I much prefer the women’s events (ON TONIGHT!) (and even more the rhythmic gymnastics–again, amazing!)….I was getting tears and chills and these huge smiles time and again when this young team would “hit” their routines and their landings so well. The high bar scared the living daylights out of me, I don’t see how they don’t just fly right off and into the stands!
Go USA!
Shocked,
I too would let it go. Is “Sharing your faith” your way of telling him that homosexuality is a sin ? If this is what you were considering, I bet he has already heard it all ,probably many times. I would just befriend him , like you were doing before you got this shock, and who knows if it is in God’s plan, he will set up a time for you to share your faith and the Holy Spirit will give you the words. Too many times , it seems ” sharing the faith” comes off as rude judging and that only drives people away.
I , myself have had several homosexual friends and I know that they know the Catholic stand ( even though most are not Catholic) and have no need to hear me preach to them. Instead I treat them as the humans that they are and deserve to be treated as and I have found that some are the greatest people that I have ever met. I discovered a long time ago that evangelization is not just pointing out where others go against God or the Catholic faith but sometimes showing what a true Catholic is by accepting the sinner for who and where they are and being there for them without judging or preaching. Many times once a person feels acceptance and love, Other things fall into place
thinking of slinging,
I have a friend who makes great slings and they are gorgeous as well!
here’s her link;
http://www.polkadotpapoose.com/
Shocked: How awful to be “floored” like that. Why does that always happen? Makes you want to never ask people how they are-who knows what you’re going to get? I heard a priest tell this story about Mother Teresa’s nuns. In some awful city there were prostitutes walking the streets. The nuns would walk up, offer the girls Miraculous medals, say a prayer with them, etc. The prostitutes accepted their kindness day after day, but who knows if it affected them. One day a man walked up to one of the sisters and said “Sister, that isn’t a woman, it’s a man dressed as a woman acting as a prostitute.” He expected sister to fall apart in dismay, but she just walked over, gave “her” a medal and said a prayer with “her” and went on her way. We can’t always insert the right thing into a conversation when we’re confronted with abominable behavior. But smiling and being kinds is always the right thing to do.
I love, love, love the Olympics. Before we got married my husband told me he didn’t want us to watch TV. I said that was OK, except for the Olympics and he was fine with that. (Since then, I have also added coverage over a Pope’s death/ New Pope because that is really important, IMO.) Now he even enjoys watching them!
My favorite by far was the 400M relay. That was just incredible, and made even more sweeter by the gloating of the French. I also loved watching the men’s gymnastics last night. Jonathan Horton is amazing.
As for boycotting the Olympics, I am very glad we didn’t. I have always been disappointed that we boycotted the 1980 olympics because so many athletes who had worked there whole lives were punished. New athletes would be punished this time, and it would only serve to anger the Chinese and many, many Americans as well. The Olympics isn’t supposed to be about politics, it is about sportmanship. It may have been a poor decision by the IOC to choose China, but that doesn’t mean that every country which attends is condoning China’s behavior. This is just my 2 cents. I don’t want to start a debate.
For the son who was worried about college, my oldest son (ADHD and several cognitive learning disabilities) went and did not need to go. He is a few (4) courses away from a film degree, but his present job is excellent and was based on his talent as a graphic artist. He worked at several jobs in his field, building his reputation and skills with practical experience. He now has companies offering him positions based on his portfolio and what they have heard of his talents.
My middle son didn’t want college at all and now regrets it. He will hopefully realize his dream of college, but he is married with children now, and that dream takes a back seat to providing for his family. His I. Q. is extremely high, but school was not challenging and he thought he could make a good life without college. Now he is not so sure.
Give them time to find themselves and discover where their hearts lie.
Olympics:
Would anyone be willing and able to record the women’s gymnastics events for me? We do not have local television. My daughter just started gymnastics this summer, and I would love to show her how the big girls do it!!! I would be more than happy to pay you. The more coverage, the better!
Thanks!!!!!
Amy
You can contact me via my website (click on my name); just leave a comment.
I really miss being able to watch them, although the fact that they are in China has made missing them much easier. I am hoping the good old US beats the pants off of China with double the medals!!!
To Carolyn A.
That is a long day! Is there any possible way you can send him to the local Catholic school? I fee strongly that Kindergarten should still be half day, and agree with you that it is geared towards working parents.
Good Luck! I hope the teacher is wonderful! That helps.
Public School – We too have children in the public school. Like others have mentioned we work hard to create a very strong Catholic culture at home. We do the obvious things like praying before meals, saying a Hail Mary whenever we hear a siren, night prayers, frequent confession (our goal is every two weeks, but it averages monthly), weekday Mass when the schedule allows for it, infrequent rosaries (we’re working on that!) and service projects usually through our parish. I home school RE using Seton’s materials and have lots of saint books the kids enjoy reading. We also really, really like the “CatChat” audio shows for kids. We listen to those in the car.
A couple of other slightly different things we do, which the kids love, include hosting a decadent “Fat Tuesday” party the Tuesday evening before Ash Wednesday where the kids are allowed to invite a friend (this is huge hit with the kids, since they have the choice of 3-4 desserts on a school night no less!), hosting an “Angels & Saints” party for kids & adults in October where everyone comes dressed as an angel or saint, and being involved in Little Flowers and Blue Knights. Every September for 8 years we’ve attend as a family a pro-life fundraiser at a local amusement park our kids love. In the summer we have the kids attend more orthodox Catholic summer camps. All in all it seems to be working . . . but time will tell. I hope this helps and gives you some ideas.
to Shocked:
For a slightly different take:
When I’m confronted with a situation where I don’t know what to say/do, I say a quick prayer. I ask that if I’m supposed to say something, that I be given the opportunity and right words to say. I used this the other weekend at a parish we were visiting. The gospel was the Multiplication of the Loaves and Fishes, and the homily was, in short, heretical. I happened to be in back at the end of the Mass with my toddler and Father was processing out. I said my quick prayer and guess what happened? There was another man standing right there by the door, and Father went right to him to talk. OK, no opportunity=I’m not supposed to say anything. People aren’t always open.
I don’t have the same problem with all day kindergarten that some of you do. I went to pre-school part time for three years before kindergarten (age 2: two mornings per week; 3: three mornings; 4: five mornings) and enjoyed going to school. I am concerned about the limited amounts of recess that have been indicated and the long bus rides.
Carolyn A.: Is it possible for you to take your child to school instead of sending him on the bus? That might considerably shorten the day for both of you. I always relished the time spent doing errands with Mom after school before going home.
Could all of you wonderful Catholic women offer a prayer for me and my family when you have a moment? Since a terrible run of multiple deaths in our family, I’ve not kept up on life as I should and put on blinders to problems I should have dealt with. As a result of my own denial, we have financial and tax problems that I am praying for strength to address properly and fix for our family’s well being. My fear and humiliation have kept me back and make the obstacles even higher. I have never failed at anything so badly before and have been leaning on Divine help to guide and heal me. Any and all prayers are desperately needed.
To the Mom of the boy going to college who is suddenly unwilling- I think he is getting cold feet and is just nervous. I would explain to him that you understand his nervousness and that he has already committed to a semester of study. Just do this semester and see how it goes, how much you are learning and if you want to continue. Because his reaction is so recent I think he is just worried about not doing well and being in a new social situation.
To the wood floor Mom- have you tried a hot glue stripping gun? That might lift what is adhered but in the end I think you will have to sand- a very tough but rewarding job and you will be wondering why you waited even a day!
And if anyone wants to win a free subscription to Romantic Home you can go to my blog where I link the contest on another blog.
I love free stuff.
Mary Alexander
http://www.againstallheresies.blogspot.com
I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I will be praying for you and your family. Keep praying and don’t lose hope- keep leaning on Divine help.
Dina S.
Carolyn,
Your thoughts on all-day kindergarten is precisely why I won’t send my kids to school. My boy is 5, and even though I don’t think he’s ready anyway for that, 7:30-4 is just too long of a day for anyone, especially 5 yrs old. For someone who has never been away from home, that’s a really long time. So, for us, that’s just one of the many reasons that we will be homeschooling, one year at a time. When I went to K, it was only 1/2 days, and that still seemed long.
In need of prayers:
I will certainly keep you in my prayers. I had similar problems after my mother died a couple of years ago. Just so depressed I couldn’t face my problems. It does become humiliating when things have been put off so long they cause problems and then people ask why I’ve let it go so long. Just know that you are not alone and not the only one who has made this mistake.
Hi, It’s late in the day but I wanted to weigh in on the college thing from my own personal experience. I HIGHLY recommend encouraging your son to go to community college, even if he does want to take a year or two off (which is also a great choice). If he wants, he can take just one or two classes at a time while working a job, usually they have night classes. This is what I did. I had an abysmal high school experience and GPA (not because I wasn’t smart, but for other personal reasons I didn’t “apply myself”) and spent about 3 years messing around and taking a few classes in a community college until one year, I just suddenly did excellently in all my classes, found a passion for history, and then transferred to a four year school (had a choice and got into the honors programs in both), graduated from there and went on to get a full scholarship to a very good graduate program where I’ve gotten a master’s and am working on my Ph.D. Many people don’t know, but 4 year schools (even very prestigious ones) are generally VERY open to accepting students who’ve taken two years worth of credits from a community college and they don’t tend to care how long it takes.
In a life full of truly terrible decisions, going to community college and giving myself the time to explore college at my own pace was hands down the second best decision I’ve ever made (the first best decision was marrying my husband).
Hi, Ladies.
Sorry this is so late, but I thought you homeschooling mom’s might like to know that although I didn’t get to ask Senator McCain a question he himself brought up homeschooling.
As part of an answer to a question about elevating American education, Senator McCain stated that he feels it is essential that our kids are given greater opportunities – whether those opportunities be in public schools, charter schools or part of homeschooling. When what seemed to be a family hooted at that, he acknowledged their presence by saying something like, “Oh, good. It seems that we have homeschoolers here today.”
It was so obvious that McCain is cognizant of homeschooling and that he feels it to be a viable option that I had decided not to ask Tiffany’s question if picked (was instead going to bring up the Obama born alive issue just to put it in front of the media, but didn’t get the opportunity).
I’ll be posting pictures tomorrow on my blog – I’m beat now. Peace. ~~~mary
Thanks to the responses about all-day kindergarten. This IS at our parish school, not public school.
Not using the bus would shorten up the day somewhat although it would deprive our infant of every normalizing her nap routine.
We’ve gone back and forth about homeschooling all spring and summer. It’s starting to look more appealing to me again. Our pastor says he is “100 percent against it,” but would support whatever we do.
There are no homeschoolers in our parish that we are aware of although a neighboring parish has quite a few.
It’s been mentioned but I want to state that the book The Joyful Mysteries of Life is a very good introduction of the birds and bees for preteen children.
Does anyone else think there might be enhancement drugs, etc, used by any athletes at this years Olympics? It seems as though so many sports have been plagued by this problem. I’m finding it hard to believe this incredibly fast swimmer is breaking all these records, and winning all these Gold medals without any enhancements. Anyone else thought of that?
Dawn in Mississippi,
Our girls go to a very small Catholic school (100 kids preschool-6th grade) in our small town. They have a scheduled recess at 10am for 15 minutes and another 15 recess after lunch. The kids who arrive early also play on the playground (supervised, of course) until the first bell rings. They also get PE twice a week. I think I would bring it up with both the teacher and the principal. If things don’t change, bring it up with whatever “school board” governs your school. Good luck!
About the All-Day K. I still think that 1/2 day K is better for 5yr olds. And I don’t agree with the reasons that most schools now only offer full day. However, if you are not called to homeschool– and not all of us are— then you don’t have much choice. I was apprehensive about sending my oldest, but since homeschooling would not be a good fit for our family, we sent him. And he did great. It was a big adjustment for all of us, and he did come home very tired at the end of the day, but he really loved school! My daughter did great, too, and absolutely loves everything about school! As for shortening the day, I would look into driving him to/from school which not only will make his day shorter and less tiring, but you or your husband will really enjoy that time in the car together each day. When my kids rode the bus, The day seemed much longer, but since now i drive them, we get to spend 15 minutes each morning talking about the day (instead of just rushing around getting ready and trying not to miss the bus) and 15 minutes at the end of the day to talk about what happened that day (instead of them just walking in, asking for food, and then going off to do their own thing) I actually love driving them, and wouldn’t go back to busing, even though it is much more convenient!! As for the baby naps…. the baby will adjust, and either nap at a different time, or learn to nap in the car. My little ones tend to do both at different times, but somehow it all works out just fine. If you don’t really feel called to homeschool, then it is perfectly fine, and maybe even better to “away school” Homeschooling is NOT for everyone!!
RE: all day kindergarten
We have full day kindergarten, five days a week, at our school. I was skeptical at first but it really was fine. The kids do much of the core subjects in the morning (with a recess–see above post). The afternoons include classroom time but also incorporate PE twice a week, music twice a week, library, etc. Our school day is just under 6.5 hours so if we needed to use the bus, that would definitely make for a longer day. I really do see the benefits of having more classroom time. It makes me wonder how teachers fit everything in during a half day of school?
Thanks for the responses re:recess time. Joan at 12:09: yes, I did mean actual time outdoors. No half-days — recess was cancelled twice due to the heat and once (well, twice now including today) it rained. If you get a moment, I’d be interested to hear what you have to say as an educator: do you think it’s too short? Why has the amount of recess time decreased over the past couple decades? I remember a national debate on just this, but it was years ago before I had kids and wasn’t really on my radar screen — there must’ve been pressure for more classroom time. Because of standardized tests?
Slings: check out the adjustable fleece pouch at kangarookorner.com. The fleece material makes it really, really comfortable because it keeps the baby snug and close to your body. Much more comfortable than cotton slings. It’s great for cooler climates or indoors, but way too hot for summer wearing. I especially rely on on my slings for the first three months after baby’s arrival, and for getting dinner on the table!
Catholic Children’s Treasury books: we’ve really enjoyed these books. Do they offend any modern sensibilities, though? Like the blue-eyed blonde Jesus, and the devils sneaking around. Just wondering, we have gotten alot out them.
Natster,
Thanks for your suggestions! I’m hoping her school does PE *daily*. I hadn’t thought about that. If that’s the case, I’ll be more understanding about the recess time. I guess I need to sit back and give it a week or two. We’ve really liked the school so far otherwise, btw. (-:
Thinkin’ of Slingin’
Hi, my mom actually makes my slings for me. They are the type with the circular metal piece (well, at least mine are metal). I found a picture here to give you an idea.
http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az4.asp
There are pictures in Dr. Sears’ books on how to use it in different positions – if you get one get creative. My mom gets a chuckle because she says I use it backwards. I put the ring over my left shoulder and hold my baby sitting up near my right arm and tighten it up. Works for me.
I find them very comfortable and have used it to discretly nurse a baby as well as carry babies up to toddlers. In fact, my family took a long hike one day and we ended up with a toddler too tired to walk. My husband took the baby and I took the toddler and put him in the sling – he weighed more than the baby but the sling made his weight a non-issue. I think my husband was sore after our hike but I was fine!
It is quick and easy to use and I can put it on while standing and holding the baby and put him it without putting him down or needing someone else’s help. However, that did take some practice. The ring is helpful to snug up to be cozy or loosen if my little guy wakes up and wants more wiggle room.
I haven’t tried those other ones that people had mentioned. This is all I ever knew about and I love it. The other ones people mentioned looked quite nice as well.
Any chance someone you know would have one you could borrow to try out? Good luck and don’t give up – they are all different – wish I could say which is the best – for me mine is!
Re: Shocked
I’d like to add a related question.
We had 2 women and their daughter move in next door. They are very friendly. I don’t intend to explain the situation to my kids unless they ask. Although they always introduce the daughter as “theirs” – so I suspect it will come up.
I’ve read the above advice to help me – but what about my kids?
michelle:
I would only answer the questions that are directly asked and be as direct as possible.
IE
Do they live together? yes
Is that child theirs? it takes 1 man and 1 woman to *make* a baby, but anybody can adopt.
Did they adopt their child? I don’t know
Why do they live together? because they want to
Why doesn’t so and so have a Dad? she does have a Dad, but I don’t know who he is.
Why doesn’t he live with her? I don’t know
Why does so and so call both those ladies mom? because she wants to.
Eventually the child will get to the point on their own where she will accept that the stuff doesn’t make sense and decide that she just isn’t old enough to understand. I think the best thing is to answer questions honestly, but also with very short answers so you don’t ignite their curiosity and to prevent them getting more information than they are ready to digest.
Dawn,
Where are you getting the info about recess? If your child is coming home saying they had no recess ask further questions. Were they given any free time?
I’m not saying your child is not telling the truth, but when something is out of the ordinary, kids might leave out information. After all, they are five. Find out what the school’s policy is if there is no outdoor recess. Are children given free time inside? Sorry I’m so late with a response. I was at movie night with the girls. We do that every Tuesday night after our yoga class. It’s a fun thing to do!
To Shocked:
I had something very similar happen a few years ago, only the person who made their sexual orientation known was my brother. I struggle with this and find myself not wanting to be around him. I have no advice, but I know how you feel – x100.
To In need of prayers:
You are definitely in my prayers – I hope all of your financial problems get resolved and this burden is taken off your shoulders.
On leaving for college,
If this were May or June, I might think about looking at other options, but if he’s been OK with it up until now I wouldn’t change anything. I also started panicking before I left for school but letting my fears get the best of me would have been an awful decision. The fact that he’s blaming you for “forcing” him to go to college is probably also part of his separation anxiety — he’s subconsciously making it easier to move on by creating conflict at home. I would encourage him to participate in every single orientation program possible. Meet other freshman, go on the silly campus tours, sign up for clubs, fall in love with college life and be distracted from any homesickness…I would guess he’ll be find by October!
I agree with the other posters who said not to make too big of a point about it unless it just seems to come up and you get a “nudge” from the Holy Spirit. But I would choose your words carefully when just chatting, like referring to his partner by name so as to never refer to him as a “husband” which he isn’t. That avoids giving tacit agreement to what is going on, and also puts the focus on the person as such, rather than defining him by the sinful behavior/situation.
And to In Need of Prayers, I will be praying for you!
Anna
Hi everyone.
Late post. We have my Dad and his wife visiting and it’s been a busy, busy (but fun) day for my children. I’m online late but it’s a nice bit of me time.
So many posts. Prayers for all, especially the woman with the terminally ill relative.
To shocked – must second posts of those who are of the judge not lest ye be judged philosophy. And such nice ways to answer a child’s questions honestly. I feel we are called to love, not to judge and I always remember that Jesus sat with the outcasts in his day – from prostitutes to tax collectors. I have a cousin who is gay as well as several male friends from high school and university. Very loving and nice men that really have been blessings to me as family/friends. Love the sinner, not the sin is my thinking.
Thinking of slinging – I have used slings with my four and can’t say enough positives about them. I also had a Mayawrap, which I found really nice for a newborn – especially # 4 as I could chase the older ones, type handsfree and nurse, etc. Woo hoo! Baby settles so quickly in a sling. I also had a Jellybean baby sling, which I’ve heard aren’t being made any more. It was a favourite as my youngest was 6-12 months as I could nurse her and then gently take her off me and have her nap in a cot while I did what needed doing with the others.
I got the slings on loan, too, from mothers in La Leche League. I asked if anyone had slings I could try out, the leader sent out a query to local LLL members, and I had sooooo many offers come pouring in. It was really nice. I got to try a bunch and then borrow my favourites. And then I won a home-made fleece one that was LOVELY for both of us last winter in the rainy months.
I never used the car seat to tote around – I used my sling. Check out the mayawrap website for videos on different ways you can place baby in a sling and babywearing sites online are plentiful – even on Facebook.
Oh – my cousin referred me to a terrific French website for younger children. Mine loved it for quiet time and I found it, well, it sounds corny, but enchanting. Very fun to explore, very age appropriate, very artistic (not really any words – except one spot we found with English words when you click on one castle and French ones when you click on another), lovely musical bits….you may like to take a peek: http://www.poissonrouge.com (which is redfish). Let me know if you like it, too.
Pax,
Karen
p.s. to Help!
I would call your local public health unit/clinic – and ask if possible to speak with a communicable diseases nurse about the Tetanus vaccine. I’m Canadian – here you can check with the Hospital for Sick Kids in Toronto’s Motherrisk (not sure if I’ve got that spelled correctly – may be Motherisk??) from anywhere in Canada – so I’m sure you could as well from US or elsewhere – about contraindications for pregnant/nursing mothers – by phone or I think on email. I agree that medical advice like that would be best from medical personnel in the know who can help you make an informed care decision.
I’ve been interested to read about the recess times. I can’t imagine some of the energetic little people I’ve been teaching (I’m a relief teacher, just finishing up a block) coping with so much inside time.
Well, just for the purposes of comparison, our (Catholic primary) school hours include “recess” (“little lunch” “play lunch” “morning tea” – call it what you will) for 30 minutes at 11 am and lunch (“big lunch”) from 1.20 -2.00. Ten minutes of that is compulsory sitting down “eating time” but the kids don’t have to jump and run off if they haven’t finished eating. Bear in mind this is Australia – outdoor eating is the norm except in wet weather. School starts at 8.55 and concludes at 3.05 for K-6 although Kinder ease into full days in the first couple of weeks.
It would seem that even high school students here get a longer “recess” break (or two) than some of your kindergarten and primary children, although I’d have to grab my boys’ diaries to check actual times.
Daily fitness and once a week sport during class time too – playing in the playground at recess or lunch breaks is not consdiered part of that.
China,
We had this come up quite a few years ago when one of my husband’s and my fellow (female) member of management , her “wife” and son were transferred to our area. This woman was super nice to both my husband and I as well as our daughter.The kids were the same age and got along very well. We resisted the invitations to see them outside of work until the company started looking shakey and my husband didn’t have an updated resume. We didn’t have a computer at the time nor the money to have it done by a professional and were overjoyed when this very nice woman offered to do it free of charge. The offer also included dinner and a play date while the resume was being worked on. We needed the resume done so to avoid being rude we went. After the date, my daughter did in fact ask why Justin had two Mommies and no Daddy. I simply explained that everyone has a Dad and a Mom at the beginning but that sometimes things happen where either the Dad or the Mom doesn’t live with the family for a variety of reasons( I didn’t specifically mention homosexuality as my daughter was four) I went on to add that sometimes aunts , uncles, grandparents, and friends join in to help single parents and make families.Yes this was deceiving but still truthful as this can often be the case. A few years later, when our talks got deeper my daughter remembered the family , who we had lost touch with after they moved out of state, and she asked if these two women were a couple. I told her yes and her reply was wow, “gay” people can sure be nice. I assured her that there were good and bad in all.
Kindergarten: Our public school has half day and the Jewish and Catholic schools have full day in our town. It seems to me that most people would prefer to have full day kindergarten, as a majority of kids are transferred into public school after kindergarten for first grade, but the town can not afford it. My kids have done both full day and half day kindergarten, and as with anything else in life, it depends on the child. My oldest loved school from day one and would happily go to see his friends and play than stay home with his mother and three younger sisters. My second one preferred to be with me, so we sent her to public school kindergarten for a half day program. My third child repeated kindergarten (she is a late summer baby) and having the option of sending her to half day kindergarten and then full day kindergarten as a mini first grade was a great solution to the situation. My youngest did half day kindergarten and spent her mornings doing activities or having play dates before school. I’ve always been grateful to have the choice in education as each child has a different temperment and educational needs.
Dear Shocked:
The April 2008 of Fortunate Families had a very challenging set of articles. They are a ministry of Catholic parents of G, L, B, T trying to bridge the gaps in the churches ministry to their children. The quotes from JPII and Cardinal Ratzinger were particularly challenging to me.
All I can say is pray before you speak. Its about helping them Love the Lord where they are first. Then the Lord ‘may’ lead them elsewhere.
Peace,
Mary B
to Schooler: I hope that you weren’t offended by the long school days as one of our reasons to homeschool. I didn’t mean to imply that everyone should homeschool if you felt school days were long or anything like that. I was simply stating that as a reason that our family has chosen to school at home for now. Believe me, I’ve struggled back and forth with our decision, since our kids are very spirited kids so the challenge may be exponential but for us, it’s the best decision we could make.
Ellen
I did a similar project, a heat gun with a tough scraper (not a flexible paint scraper) really helped. Plenty of elbow grease too.
Good luck!
China –
My sister “came out” to me a few years ago. She thought I would be the most understanding family member, but I did not handle it well in her opinion. (She failed to note that she shared this info on my anniversary while I was busy taking care of 3 sick kids….) Nevertheless, I have made it a point to always stay in contact with her. My other sister and I both spoke to priests who wisely advised us to continue to show Christ’s love to her. Since my sister shared with me, I felt I could discuss her lifestyle one time with her. We had one discussion about our different beliefs, but no longer bring it up. She knows what the church teaches and what I believe, so there is no need to rehash the issue.
Instead, my focus is showing Christ’s love which is true love. As Catholics we have hope for change and Christ’s mercy. St. Monica is a good saint for this. I pray that God will put someone in her life who can minister to her because it seems most difficult for family members to do so. She has always been respectful of our differences and does not require we we share in her private life. So, continue to reach out to your brother. I try to call her weekly so she can never use the excuse that her family members abandoned her. I love her and have hope that Christ’s love will call her back to the faith. I also have shared this story with a few close friends and it is surprising to learn that most everyone has a close family member struggling with homosexuality. In this fight, we are not alone. We can all pray for one another.
Regarding drug enhancement in the Olympics…at this time I am going to just believe that Michael Phelps has been blessed with a great measure of talent. I’m hoping that someone who is center stage in the athletic world would know that his accomplishments would be scrutinized and he would be drug tested. Watching him swim is just too much fun for me. My 10 year old and I are really into watching the Olympics.
Michael Phelps is an incredible athlete who is benefiting from amazing technological advancements.
Regarding the drug enhancement question:
I watched a segment on Fox News either during or before the olympics games began. Anyway, it was about how many of the athletes in the Olympics this year, are voluntarily urinating everyday and giving it to officials to be tested, as well as doing regular blood tests. Michael Phelps is one of the athletes volunteering. Just wanted to let those of you hoping the athletes were all talent and no drugs =)
Children’s Books: Michael O’Brien’s book A Landscape With Dragons has an excellent section (it’s nearly half the book!) dedicated to listing good literature for various ages. The book itself is very good. I recommend it! http://books.google.com/books?id=Qje-jDI1FzgC&dq=a+landscape+with+dragons&pg=PP1&ots=9268K1326U&sig=2xpUYQVmK_UUFk_DlBlgaaDlLRA&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=1&ct=result
Thinkin’ of Slingin’, I had a Baby Bjorn carrier for my daughter and loved it! I also had a sling (an adjustable one with two metal rings) which I used every Sunday during Mass, but I found it hard to maneuver without the help of my husband. I’ve also heard great things about Maya wraps–they’re just looong pieces of fabric that you wrap around you and put the baby in. You can use them in various ways. Next time around, I plan to get one of those!
I would also recommend community college if your son doesn’t feel ready for the big four year school. There are numerous advantages to that route. First of all, even if he goes full time to community college it will almost certainly cost less than the four year school so it’s less money wasted if it turns out that college really isn’t for him. Secondly, community college is far more career focused than most 4 year colleges. The community college offers the basic gen ed classes, but it also offers tracks that will get you into a career after only 2 years. Not only does it save money all the way around, but you are actually employable. It is a myth that just having a college degree will land you a high paying job. My daughter graduated magna cum laude and is currently working for under $13 an hour after several years of experience. I know numerous young adults (some with education degrees) who simply can’t find anything other than service industry jobs or low level office jobs. Meanwhile one young man in our homeschool group became a journeyman electrician and is currently supporting a family of 3 and has his own home.
Community college may not look as prestigious to you as parents, but it can be a far better choice for a young person who doesn’t have a specific direction. Also he wouldn’t be wasting 2 hours a day of study time in his commute. I would really recommend that you listen to what your son is really saying. He may have good reasons for not wanting to do the 4 year college thing at this time.
My nephew did community college before going to the University of Missouri. He had had a spotty high school record and his parents wanted to make sure he was mature enough to handle the 4 year college. He did community college part time and worked part time. He transferred to the University as a sophomore and ended up graduating with a B average. He’s now teaching English in Japan. The community college experience was vital in his maturing process, yet he was nearly 19 when he graduated from high school.
Trust your son and your own heart, and remember that other than degrees that prepare for a specific field (such as nursing or engineering) a college education doesn’t necessarily train you for a job. Even the degrees that do train for a specific job can’t prevent gluts from happening where there are too many of a certain profession. It’s happened to teachers, it’s happened to engineers, it’s happened to MBA’s. College is only one route to a successful adult life. You could take the money that would go to college and set him up in a business and he might actually be further ahead in 4 years than his contemporaries who spent their time in the classroom. We know a young man who now has his own woodworking business (very successful) who never spent a day in a college classroom. It all depends on what your son’s passion is.