Thanks for sharing your experience. I understand what you are saying. I sometimes worry about families that have a very rigid attitude about a schooling choice and regardless of how it is working for them will not look at other options because they are convinced by the people they hang out with or a theology they have embraced that there is only one way. That includes all of us, public, private, homeschooling, we all need to be fleixible and consider other options when we see our kids, family, marriage are not thriving.

We are in public school now but would consider Catholic or homeschooling if we need to. Evaluating our choice is an ongoing process for us. I used to be very fundamentalist and rigid in my thinking myself. I see things differently now and I find that very helpful. I also find that I learn alot from families who homeschool/Catholic school and I enjoy that connection.

Congratulations on expecting your first. Anticipating the arrival of a child is a very exciting time.

It looks as if I grew up in a home similar to those of anon111′s relatives. At one point when I was in my teens, my mother decided we could no longer talk with our neighbor (one of the most innocent Catholic girls you’d ever meet) because she went to public school. The homeschooled teenagers at church were all boys, so I was very lonely. I was the teen who would walk by people I knew without saying hello because it was easier to be rude than to try to talk with someone outside my family. I kept my faith, but only through the grace of God.

For college, I went to a very good state university. I graduated with high honors in music with a minor in Latin. The following year, I married another Catholic and we are expecting our first child. For the most part, I am your “poster alumna” for Catholic homeschooling.

My sister did not fare as well as I did. She lost her faith in her early teens. When she was 18, she had only finished 9th grade, despite the fact that she is very bright. She is now a teen mother, working a entry level job and studying for her GED.

My family is not the only family where both faith and education suffered because of homeschooling pride. It breaks my heart to see parents working so hard and yet refusing to open their eyes to the fact that homeschooling is not working for their family. Oddly enough, neither my sister nor I have ruled out homeschooling. I pray that if one or both of us chooses that route, we keep our children’s best interests in mind and don’t let our pride get in the way if it is in their best interest to send them to school.

I also had some great teachers in high school that influenced me. Maybe sometimes people have a limited view of what public school is or maybe they live in an area where the schools are really rough. I can understand that.

However, sometimes the need to validate our own choices can be at the heart of why we choose to tear down any form of schooling that is not our own whether it is public, private, Catholic or homeschooling.
I try to keep that in mind when I hear comments from individuals with negative views of schooling choices.

Thank you for posting your thoughts. I agree! For me, home was my source of strength in a confusing outside world. As much as I loved going to school (and I did, I was a social butterfly), there was nothing better than knowing that my parents and my siblings were there for me when I returned home each afternoon.

So peer pressure can be bad, we all know. But it can be good as well. I put the peddle to the metal in AP History and English because I wanted to prove to my teachers that I wasn’t just another dumb blond. My hard work paid off, I passed my AP exams with the highest marks and I was able to get full college credit for those courses. I learned those years that no matter what color your skin was, or how great of an athlete you were, or how much money your family had, if you worked hard and kept at it, chances are that you would suceed.

Which brings me to another point: good teachers. I had a teacher who changed my life when I was fourteen. She taught Art History and applied arts. I knew then and there that I was going to study in New York (just like her) and work in a gallery (just like her), that there was more to life than the sleepy bedroom community that I was born and raised in. My French teacher inspired me to study abroad (which I did later). I ended up going to school in Manhattan and have a degree in art history. I worked in a gallery on Madison Ave.

There’s so much negative talk about school on this board. Honestly, I never considered my public high school education to be lacking, or the peer pressure to be so overwhelmingly horrible. Yes, teenagers can be stupid and mean, but so be it. Old people can be selfish and crotchety. Should we write them off because they are in a bad stage of their lives? Should we not hang out with our grandparents and parents because they are a little too “set in their ways”? I had my feelings hurt in high school by other girls, but you know what? I got over it. I soldiered on. A little bruised, but wiser in the end. What mattered most to me, and will always, was my family. That was permanent. High school was simply stepping stone to college.

Someone mentioned how if you did a study comparing homeschoolers and public schoolers, the public scholers would be the ones with the pregnancy, abortion, drug use etc.
Well, why not do a study comparing apples to apples, that is students from homes that carry the values we uphold, our faith, morals, family time etc. I’m sure you would find the results would show that public school kids from faithfilled families do just as well as HS kids from faithfilled families.

Just as HS families tire of people telling them that their kids are not getting socialization I tire of hearing the HS’ers stereotype all public school kids.

I have great admiration for homeschoolers. I sometimes wish I could give my kids the education they get at a public school at home. I really can’t match it but I do give credit to families that can.

As for college, I left a small Catholic college my freshman year and found my faith at one of the most liberal universities in the country. God works in many ways.

Think about it: isn’t it strange that – usually – the HSing moms go for the Catholic colleges and say that you need the Catholic college for the great liberal arts/Catholic ed? Well, if HSing works to give the foundations of a great Catholic education, wouldn’t you think that it’s possible to continue to “HS” ourselves in the liberal arts and catholic faith in our later teen/adult years?

Funny this conversation is happening now b/c last night on EWTN there was an ad for Christendom, promoting the idea that the real reason for higher education is not vocational, but to be really educated, liberal arts, etc. I can agree with that idea, but there is no reason that you can’t do the great books while you are getting that more practical degree in something that’s going to pay you a lot more. (And my problem with the orthodox Catholic colleges is that some of them are notoriously lax in their academic standards in fields other than theology, etc.)

Also, there are exceptions, e.g. if your passion is philosophy then by all means go to one of the Catholic schools and prepare to get your PhD in phil. and then you can be a professor. OR if you really think Catholic liberal arts and debt is the way to go, with no real idea about practical employability, please do feel free to choose that, but what is never mentioned is you are also choosing a life of financial worry.

Some people handle that better than I do, I guess. But when I see other threads that worry about job security, medical benefits, cars that die, washing machines that must be replaced, I get all itchy. I remember how panicky that life was. Now? All those stresses are gone. An appliance dies? I get a new one. And probably upgrade. Another kid needs braces? No sweat. Credit card debt? Unheard of; paid in full each month. Also, our financial situation helps out other families that didn’t make the same choices we did and can’t manage to pay their bills. We give a lot to our church, to religious orders, worthy charities, etc. So don’t think it’s all about me going to get my teeth bleached or go to a spa for the weekend. Which I also do; my husband loves it when I take care of myself. But hey, we earned it.

This is not for braggings’ sake I do this; I am anonymous after all. I do this to point out how very different my life is now from how it used to be. We have almost no stress in our lives regarding the material things, but that sense of “no anxiety” definitely spills over into other areas of our lives, no question. And I can only point to the right degree/career path that did that. More power to you if those things are easy for you to handle. I couldn’t, so I didn’t.

–This happened to the kids ( and son in law) of a good friend of mine. There is no disputing they enjoyed their time at the Catholic College, but unfortunately, once they were done, they had to go on to a regular university and almost completely *start over* to get into a field that would produce a sustainable income.

And, while I’m at it , I’d like to mention that it is possible to understand and appreciate/understand literature, philosophy, science and the arts without attending a small private Catholic college at $25k a year. Some of this attitude comes off to me as a form of “elitist Catholic royalty”. To be in the club you have to have had over 4 kids, home schooled and send your kids to the “right” Catholic colleges. Give me a break!

Elaine: Loved your post!