• The baby is doing his best to eat an eraser. It looks pretty inviting, actually — turquoise blue, soft, and chewable. I confiscate.
• The 4 year old is crafting. With lots of glue and little supervision. A grammar worksheet finds itself affixed to the table. Tears are shed. I clean and comfort.
• The kindergartener is standing in his chair, waving wild arms over his work and singing, “Octopuses don’t wear shoes — Octopuses don’t wear shoes — ” I am mildly interested in where he picked up this little ditty but determined not to encourage him. I redirect.
• The oldest declares her circumstances ridiculous and wonders aloud how anyone in the world can possibly expect her to perform “seventh grade math in a preschool classroom.” I remove, admonish, relocate, and totally agree. Especially with the “ridiculous” part.

But also,

• The 9-year-old sneaks away with his math work — the very stuff that brought him to the brink of frustration-induced madness just yesterday morning — and returns triumphant. The dragons of lowest common multiples and mixed number subtraction have been forever slain. I congratulate.
• The kindergartener recognizes the word “surprise” when he sees it. No prompting from mom, no whispers from his precocious baby sister, no hesitation whatsoever when he sees this word we’ve read and re-read dozens of times and yet never before now have managed to install in his young mind. Today he reads “surprise.” By himself. I glow.
• The 11-year-old takes a break from his history reading to make a paper airplane for the whiny 3-year-old who is sitting next to him on the couch. The little boy beams and the big boy smiles before returning to his book. I melt.
• The oldest announces how very glad she is that we are going to be able to attend a matinée of Prince Caspian on the day that it opens, even if it will be a school day. I ignore that fact that no one has made any such promise to her, and totally agree. Especially with the “very glad” part.

(as he gazed gloomily out the window)

Boy: Being stuck inside wouldn’t be so bad if only I had some fake blood to work with.

Good morning! I’m serving baked custards this morning as a sneaky means of giving my children nutritious egg and dairy under the guise of “special dessert for breakfast.” But I’ll be having toast with coffee — Dunkin Donuts brand which is now available in the grocery aisle. We are a spoiled nation of caffeine consumers.

Pour yourself a cup and let’s chat. What’s on your minds today?

Perhaps your kids are as wild with anticipation as mine are for the May 16 release of the latest Narnia movie — Prince Caspian?

Besides reading the book together, there are other things you can do to prepare to enjoy the movie and learn from the experience. Walden Media offers free lesson plans for school teachers and homeschoolers. See here for details.

Now that I have your attention, find a participating store near you and get yourself some. Free cones all day Tuesday, April 29.

Dream job opportunity. Don’t let it slip away.

I took some video of Daniel in the tub last night. I couldn’t help it. He is just so animated in there — splashing, laughing, screeching, and playing. He loves his bath.

His brothers, however, were righteously protective of his dignity.

“How could you do that to him?” they wanted to know.

Many mothers do not know this, but apparently, for the sake of decency, there should be no naked baby videos. Not even if a certain little someone has a certain little birthmark on a certain little part of his body that is normally covered up by his diaper. Not even if the certain little birthmark is unbelievably cute. That was none of my business, Daniel’s brothers told me. And it certainly wasn’t going to be the business of future generations or girlfriends who might see this video.

So I stopped taping. But Danny played on. What struck me about his playing was that even if he takes a bath every single night before bed, even if it’s always the same tub, the same bubbles, and the same toys, he never gets bored or complains. To him, it’s always new. Every bath is the best ever bath. The best ever. And he plays his little heart out in there.

Please God, teach me to do the same.

being sick on the couch and having your little sister carefully and quietly create an impressive arrangement of “Get Well” cards to greet you when you wake up.

(upon hearing a description of dial-up internet service)

Spoiled Child: You mean, you can’t be on the phone and on the computer at the same time? … What do people do?