We began homeschooling as our local Catholic school increased tuition; we were moving away, anyway. Now we’re back and still homeschooling – $6500 is too much, high schook is $10K – and the elementary school is losing money because it has so many empty classroom seats. People can’t afford this tuition. For this one school, at least, salary parity has backfired. The pastor just announced a freeze in teachers’ salaries – now they can’t achieve either the parity goal or the full enrollment goal. Sad.

I, too, have an 8 yo son. Despite what others may or may not deem appropriate, he still comes in the restroom with me more often than not. In our small hometown, I am very comfortable letting him go in alone while I or one of his older sisters waits outside. However, when we travel, if my husband is not with us, I insist he come in with me after I check inside to make sure there are no ladies changing or in some other form of undress. He feels he is too old for this, but truck stop and “big city” restrooms are not the places I want him to assert his independence. The risk far outweighs the benefit in my mind. So far, I have never been chastised by a bathroom patron for bringing him in, in fact, most of the women nod in understanding at my choice, even while my son complains sadly that he’s being treated like a baby. I am interested in knowing at what age other mom’s allow their sons to use public restrooms alone.

My children go to an excellent private Catholic school that is both academically, theologically and philosophically rock-solid. Because of it being such a great school, it tends to draw from some large, Catholic homeschooled families. But because the expenses are through the roof (insurance, teacher salary, rent, utilities, etc) it costs well over $10,000 per child per year to make the school work. And it’s the smaller families that aren’t stretched to the financial limits that are subsidizing those large, working-class poor or lower-middle-class Catholic families. Yes, I have some financial flexibility because I don’t have 4 or 6 or more children, and so I pay more. They pay less, a lot less.

It’s a huge contribution – their kids would never get such an excellent educational experience that is available to them at our school – and it’s the smaller families that make that happen. And I’ve never seen anyone even mention this in any large family/small family discussion.

My heart goes out to you. The most powerful thing I can suggest is pour your heart out to God for his help. I will pray for you! But, don’t lose hope. The most difficult situations do change with God’s help.

In the meanwhile, can you contact your parish for assistance. Our parish has older couples to help in these situations and they have Retrouville – a retreat from troubled marriages that I have heard is very good. In the past, my husband and I have spoken w/ these couples and it is very good to have their support and prayers.

God bless!

This question and answer posting is awesome! I’ve gotten some great information and been able to give out some of my own advice, too. Thank you, Danielle, for giving us this opportunity to share with you!

1. What do you do about the kids sharing rooms? I’m assuming that they do and that your house doesn’t have nine bedrooms. Once our baby is out of our room some of the kids are going to have to share and we’re not sure the best arrangement. The oldest two are a boy and a girl and the best sleepers. Is it ok for them to share? And for how long?

2. Do you feel it’s necessary to protect your children from worldly influences? Since you homeschool, they’re not getting the same exposure to popular culture as their peers but what do you do if you need to go to the mall, or even the grocery store (with inappropriate magazine covers on display at child height)? I can’t keep my kids away from all this forever but at the same time I don’t want them thinking these things are the “norm” when they are at such an impressionable age. Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong generation! The clothing, music, tv shows out there are so horrible. A lot of people would say that you can’t protect them from all of that but that’s our job as parents…at least until they are old enough to discern between right and wrong. So what do we do? How can we be in the world but not of the world?

To all those who’ve posted with housekeeping issues…
What I’ve found to help, after about 5 years of being home, is to not expect the house to be entirely clean at once. I used to do whole house cleaning on one day but that’s not realistic with kids. Now I spread it out throughout the week and most of what I do is just maintenance. I keep cleaning supplies where they are used (up high in bathroom closets upstairs). And I use products that I never would have used before…Swiffers, Clorox wipes, Clorox toilet wand, etc. That way, if I notice the bathroom counter needs to be wiped down I just pull a wipe out and do it. No excuses and no waiting until cleaning day. I find this way I haven’t really had to do a major cleaning too often. Oh, and upon the recommendation from friends we bought a Roomba. I LOVE IT! It’s not as good as a regular vacuum cleaner but I can vacuum the upstairs bedrooms while I’m downstairs playing with the kids (or catching up with Danielle’s blog). Just like Danielle said about the brownies…it may not be the way we would like to do it, but it’s better than not at all.