Mr. Camera Face and I are going to be offline through the weekend. One of the highlights of our trip is sure to be meeting Minnesota Mom live and in the flesh. Hmmmm, can she really be as sweet and funny as she comes across online? We’ll be back Monday with all the dirt.

Gabby: (when she fell off her bike) Oooohhh, I hate that!

Me: Ahem. You are not allowed to hate anything, Missy.

Gabby: Well, I think I can hate the devil and the Yankees. Papa says that’s okay.

I must be hungry. Here’s what I have to share today:

Eating on a Budget
Am I the only mom who has never before heard of the Hillbilly Housewife? Great common sense, recipes, and dollar-strecthing menus for families of all sizes!
(HT: reader Jamie)

Free Latte
Yes, we love Friendly’s. And here’s another reason to: Get over there today (Wednesday, May 30) and they’ll give you a free latte.

Cool Cows
Naturally low fat milk? Scientists in New Zealand claim to have bred cows with a genetic mutation which produces low fat milk.

Cocoa Boosts Memory
Have I not yet convinced you that chocolate, in all its various forms, is totally good for you? I’m sure that the “especially when combined with exercise” part is a minor detail.

To chase down the boy who failed to complete one last bit of his mathwork this morning and is now wandering through the field, shirtlessly chasing dragonflies with a butterfly net … or to just leave it till tomorrow?

Daniel has been eating a weensy bit of “real food” recently and, as a result, has been nursing a weensy bit less. Emphasis on weensy. This should not be a major upheaval by any means.

But try telling that to my nursing mother hormones. Lately, my quite reasonable brain cells have been awash in an imbalance of these crazy chemicals. As a result, I find myself thinking quite sensible thoughts: “I hate my life! I love my life! Homeschooling is a cinch! Homeschooling is impossible and I am single-handedly destroying my children’s futures! Nobody appreciates me around here! My husband is unbelievably patient and generous with me! I am raising selfish monsters! My kids are just the sweetest little darlings in the whole wide world!”

What’s that? Those thoughts don’t sound sensible to you? You think some of them might even be contradictory? Well, I think that perhaps you need to reconsider your position while I stare you down with my narrowed, hormonally-crazed eyes and hiss at you from behind clenched teeth. Or perhaps you’ll see things more clearly if I collapse into a weeping, pathetic puddle of estrogen before your very eyes. Which would you prefer?

That’s what I thought. Glad I could talk some sense into you.

What an honor and a pleasure it was recently to be interviewed by great mom and great writer Melissa Wiley at Here in the Bonny Glen. Go read!

Gabby: I’m grape sick.

Me: What do you mean?

Gabby: The kind of sick that needs grape medicine.

I have dozens of potential Your Turn topics saved up, but each of them requires some careful thought and response on my part. Today I have neither the time nor the brain for such endeavors, so instead we shall continue the theme of toddler antics started by my dear Raphael (see “Of course he does this on Memorial Day” below).

Many of you have emailed already, so I know these stories are out there. Spill it. Tell us what crazy thing your toddler shoved up his nose, or into his ear, or smeared on the dog. And (for our own future reference, of course) tell us how you got it out.

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