Hooray for the Good Guys!
“Five men old enough to qualify for senior-citizen discountsfoiled an armed robber and his accomplice yesterday during the 8 a.m.Mass … “ Read the whole story.

Carnival of Homeschooling
at the Palm Tree Pundit this week.

A Calorie is a Calorie
Yes! You can skip exercise and still lose weight. As long as you skip dessert too.

House Art Journal
I have quietly added her to my sidebar, but in case you didn’t notice: Regina Doman has a blog! It’s beautiful. And I love her blog philosophy of finding the beauty in her everyday life at home.

I placed my purchases on the counter, realized that I forgot one item, and ran to grab it from a shelf.

“Whoa,” the clerk said when I returned. “You must have company.”

“Huh?” I blinked back at him.

“Company,” he said again, and gestured toward the counter.

I looked at the things I was buying: 2 gallons of milk, a jug ofcranberry juice, a carton of orange juice, and a couple of 2-literbottles of diet soda … you know, enough beverage to last my family about 36 hours. If we weren’t too thirsty. I was just hoping these things would hold us over until my next grocery run.

“Oh yes, I’ve got company,” I told the man behind the counter. “Lots of it.”

And the very best kind.

You can hear me interviewed on this guy’s show on The Catholic Channel at about 4:40 (EST) this afternoon.

A woman approached me after Mass one recent weekend. “You are such a perfectmother,” she said as she shifted her own toddler from one hip to the other. “I was watching you with your baby and you are just so patient. How do you do that?”

Well now. That’s silly, isn’t it? Or maybe it’s sad, because I am pretty sure that while in her own mind this mother was raising me to lofty heights, she was also busy putting herself down. Way, way down.

Come on! I was in church! Of course I wasn’t going to discipline a2 year old with shouting or sarcasm in the middle of the Mass. But that doesn’t mean I never have.

It’s the myth of other mothers’ perfection. And I think blogs do a fair share of perpetuating it. I love reading about other Catholic families, but let’s be real: Most of us aren’t going to be airing our dirty laundry here. And of course that’s how it should be. At least to some extent.

But there’s something to be said for “keeping it real.” Never have I received so many relieved and grateful responses as I did last spring when I confessed that I don’t iron.And never have I felt weirder than when a perfect stranger emailed totell me that when she has a difficult moment with her kids she asks herself, “What would Danielle do?”

Ugh. That’s a lot of pressure. And, ummmmm … just between you andme and all of cyberspace … sometimes what Danielle would do is exactly the wrong thing. Better to ask “What would Mary do?” Or “What would Saint Anne do?” Leave poor Danielle out of it.

So let’s keep it real. Today I’m asking my fellow perfect mothers to come clean. Go on. Scandalize us. Have you ever fed your children candy for breakfast? Used the television as a babysitter? Is the inside of your refrigerator really immaculate? Spill it.

on sale!

by Raphael Bean

1. Gum is some of the best stuff on the planet, and thereare a few different ways to enjoy it. Once you have a chewed piece inyour mouth, you can take it out and squeeze it between your fingers.You can mash it in your fist. You can rub it on the dog, on the floor,or on the underside of the toilet before putting it back in your mouth.Then you can take it out again and leave it on a pillow to surprisesomeone later. Or you can just swallow it, race back to the source ofthe gum, demand another piece, and then do the same thing over again. Icall it Gum-fest.

2. If you play around with them for long enough, mostdoorknobs will eventually open for you. Then you can surprise yourmother by getting up from your nap and coming downstairs all byyourself … five minutes after she left you there.

3. Ladder-climbing is another skill worth perfecting. Onceyou get good at it, you can make your way up into your siblings’ topbunks. This, you will soon discover, is where they keep the good stuff.Like prize baseball cards, seashell collections, and markers. Andsometimes even gum. Did somebody say Gum-fest?

4. A dancing mother can be a scary sight. If yours puts onmusic and tries to get away with any kind of this foolishness, do notstand for it. Capture her attention with a stern stare and tell her“No” like you mean it.

5. Condiments are the very best kind of food. French fries,carrot sticks, and cucumber slices are all very handy condiment“holders.” Using these, an innovative diner can make a meal of ketchup,mustard, and ranch dressing alone.

6. My father is God. He made the world, he keeps it spinning, and he can walk on water. Don’t even try to tell me otherwise.

7. Baby brothers are peculiar things. They are rather wetand squawky, but kind of sweet and warm too. If you have one, I reallyrecommend kissing it gently on the head and bringing it some of yourold toys to play with. Your parents will praise you for a week.

8. Diaper changes are for babies. I may not have outgrown wearingdiapers yet, but I definitely am way too grown up for all that changingnonsense. If you know my mother, could you please explain this to her?I have tried, but she keeps chasing me with the wipes anyway.

9. If your mother tries to put a stop to your fun by saying“No more gum” right smack dab in the middle of a perfectly innocentgood ole’ Gum-fest, throw yourself on the floor and screech as loudlyas possible. Kick your feet and flail your arms until your mother picksyou up and puts you in a different room. She might say something aboutbeing allowed to come out when you stop screaming, but do not let herwords distract you from your goal. Stay in that room alternatelyscreeching uncontrollably and sobbing pathetically until one of yourolder siblings comes in, feels sorry for you, and offers you a piece ofgum. The Gum-fest goes on …

Child #1: What’s the temperature today?

Child #2: 10 degrees.

Child #1: Oooooh, it’s warm!

“When they heard this, all in the synagogue were filled with wrath.And they rose up and put him out of the city, and led him to the browof the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw himdown headlong. But passing through the midst of them he went away.”
Luke 4:28-30

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