Sometimes it’s nice to have a blog simply because you can edit your life.

For example, I was not planning to mention the fact that Raphaeltook a Thanksgiving evening trip down the stairs and ended up in the ERto stitch in his lower lip. I was not planning to mention the fact thatthe very next day he tripped over absolutely nothing and crashed histoddler skull into a wooden beam in the living room resulting in aterrific goose egg on his forehead and a bruising pattern which amusesand amazes us with its ever-changing color scheme. But then last nightwhen he fell from a tall chair onto the wooden floor and somehow in theprocess managed to scrape his leg, I could hold back no more. The truthmust be told.

I think most toddlers go through a stage like this one, where everyday brings new bodily evidence to cause strangers in the grocery storeto suspect child abuse. As toddlers’ desires to do grown up thingsexceed their physical capabilities, they wind up bumped, bruised,swollen, and scraped. Ouch. This doesn’t mix well with a mother’sprotective nature.

“Don’t do anything,” I instructed Raphael after one of hisrecent injurious escapades. I wasn’t kidding. I really did want him tosit perfectly still for the rest of the day. But no such luck.

“Maybe we should get Raphael a catcher’s mask,” Kateri observed last night as I gasped and saved him from a fall from the couch.

I considered it briefly.

“Maybe he just needs to wear a mouth guard,” another child suggested.

Not a bad idea either. Personally, I’m leaning toward tied-onfeather pillows or some kind of inflatable bubble suit. But my Googlesearches for those items only turned up weirdness.

In the end, I suppose that a mother must accept the inevitable. Notonly do our babies grow up faster than we are ready for them to, theygrow up faster than even they are ready for them to. Lifehurts. We can’t protect them from every pain and nor should we.Sometimes the best we can do is teach them how to handle hurt. The bestwe can do is pick them up when they fall, hug them when they hurt, andstitch them back together.

The best we can do is love them. And that much is easy – we’re already doing it. So much it hurts.

to tell you all that we had our Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room. Yes that dining room.Dan put the final coat of finish on just in time. Not bad, eh? For allyou wood geeks out there, my husband tells me that this is variablewidth, face-nailed, wide pine flooring sealed with a tung oil finish.All I know is that I like it. And since I love the beams, I’ll sharethose too. They’re rafter beams from a 150 year old barn that oncestood in Tamworth, NH. Dan spent one summer about 8 years agodismantling it all by himself. And I thought all those long hot days Ispent alone with babies by the kiddie pool would never pay off for me!

Oh, and dinner was lovely. I am so grateful for family members thatare our closest friends too. And (because my email tells me you care) Istuffed the turkey with pre-heated stuffing, I used a meat thermometerto ensure safety from food-borne bacteria, and I cooked somemore stuffing alongside the bird in a casserole dish. I mixed bothtogether afterwards and all was well. Maybe even delicious.

To my sweet girl who is

always ready to hold the baby,

always ready to pitch in with a vacuum, duster, and broom,

always ready to forgive and forget

always ready to practice hair-dos, play dolls, and share a cup of tea

and always ready with a smile (even when Thanksgiving postpones your birthday party).

You are a bright spot of sunshine in our days. God bless you on your birthday and always. We love you!

Juliette’s Birthday Cake

Girl Cousins

Boy Cousins

A watch for a birthday girl

Room to play

An aunt who does hair

And dishwashers

First of all, I apologize for my lack of response to many emails thisweek. I am not trying to be rude, but some weeks are just like that…Please forgive a busy mother.

Carnival of Homeschooling
This week’s Carnival of Homeschooling is here.

Nurse-in
Here’s a story of the reaction to a woman being asked to leave a Delta flight because she was nursing.Maybe I’m weird, but though I fully support breastfeeding, I do thinkit’s a little strange to attend a “nurse-in” and use your child as aprotest prop.

Father Augustine
And finally, I have a short homily from Father Augustine attachedat the bottom of this post. I can’t quite post as many of these as Iwould like to because of space considerations. I am attempting to helphim set up podcasting blog of his own where he can post his homilies.If you have expertise in this area and have any advice to offer, pleaseemail me.

Attached file: Click here

My sister is coming! And she’s bringing her charming husband as well asmy adorable nephew and niece. Since I’ll be busy preparing for theirvisit and baking today, I thought I’d share our menu:

For dinner:
Roasted turkey with sage stuffing(I still haven’t decided– in the bird or not), mashed potatoes,cranberry sauce (homemade whole berry sauce for me, canned jelly stufffor everyone else), squash, peas, and corn.

In the bread basket:
Banana Bread, Pumpkin Bread, corn bread, and Cranberry Nut Bread with honey butter.

For dessert:
Kentucky Derby Pie (long-time Bean family Thanksgiving tradition), Apple Pies, and Best Ever Pumpkin Pie (brought by my sister).

Happy Baking Day!

A reader asks:
Do you have any advice for curbing one’s temper? I’m a stay athome mom of an almost 2 year-old very good little boy. I sometimes feellike “NO!” and “STOP!” are all I say. My husband is terrificallysupportive and understanding, but works pretty long hours. Some days Ifeel like I’ve morphed into the Wicked Witch by bedtime. How do Idevelop the virtue of meekness, when, as a Mom, I shouldn’t always bemeek? How does a virtuous mother avoid anger & cultivate meekness?I read your last post about learning patience and thought, “Holy cow, Iwould have been yelling my head off at all of those interruptions!”

Though we all have different temperaments and some of us willnaturally have shorter fuses than others, nothing has the power tobring out the worst in the best of us quite like parenting toddlersdoes. Those little people can be so darned demanding and unreasonable.Mix that with possible sleep deprivation and long hours spent alone andyou have a recipe for some full blown grown up tantrums too.

While I am not at all perfect at controlling my temper with mylittle ones, I do think it gets easier with time and experience. Thefirst time a 2 year old shouts “No!” and kicks you in the face whileyou are trying to change his diaper is devastating and infuriating.Once you have experienced this same scene (or something similar to it)hundreds of times over, you do gain some perspective.

While you are waiting for that perspective, however, I would suggest you try some of the following:

1. Count to ten (or as high as you need to) before responding to behavior that is angering you.
Breathe deep. Say a Hail Mary asking for her help. Or say prayer toyour child’s guardian angel asking him to protect your child from youranger and frustration.

2. Use a quiet, calm voice to get your child’s attention.
Easier said than done? I used to think so, but when I tried it afew times, I discovered that it actually worked. A misbehaving childwill even cross the room sometimes to hear what I am saying if I lookhim in the eye and speak very quietly. Even when it doesn’t work, usinga calm voice gives me a sense of peaceful control of the situation.

3. If you feel out of control (or close to it) separate yourself from your child for a few minutes while you calm down.
Put him in his crib or another safe place. Lock yourself in thebathroom and take the time you need to feel controlled again. It’s okayto do this. Knowing your limits and respecting them is part of being agood parent.

4. When you are tempted to yell, pretend someone is watching and listening.
For our own sakes, most of us manage to control our tempers withour children in public situations. Pretend that nasty old judgmentalcashier from the supermarket is standing in the next room just waitingto criticize your parenting techniques. See if that doesn’t motivateyou to use a time out instead of a shout-out.

5. Get a blog.
Okay, I am only partly serious about this one, but I must say thatdaily writing has been good for my parenting. It forces me to step backon a regular basis in order to see the big picture. It helps me keep mylife and my relationship with my children in perspective. There havebeen many times where in the throes of an unbelievably frustratingsituation, I see through the frustration to the funny and I think tomyself, “Won’t this make a great column/post?” Keeping ajournal or just making a mental note of “funny afterwards” stories toshare with your husband or girlfriends could accomplish the same thing.

So what do the rest of you wise women think? What advice can you all offer to help struggling mothers control their tempers?

***Bonus Question: Do you cook your Thanksgiving stuffing inthe bird or not? I have always been an old fashioned in-the-bird kindof girl, but since I am cooking an extra large turkey this year, I’mleaning toward out-of-the-bird just so I don’t need to cook it quite solong. But I did note that Martha Stewart stuffs her turkey.

I think there must be some misunderstanding. You see, when I pray andask you for things like patience or a more generous heart, what Ireally mean is that I want you to just give me those things. You know, like magic. Instant virtue! I’m not really looking to learn patience and generosity— and especially not the hard way.

So when I am accomplishing something like early baking forThanksgiving, please do not send me a quite small person who issupposed to be napping who will instead climb the counter and usechubby fingers to snatch cranberries from the bowls and a tiny tongueto slurp on my measuring spoons. As I smile through gritted teeth andpersevere in my work, do not give me a 3 year old who has a pottyaccident… on my bed. Do not give me a dog that eats the garbage…and litters the deck with his leftovers. Do not arrange things so thatonly once I have measured and mixed all of the other ingredients forthe cranberry bread and preheated the oven I will discover that I am ½cup short of sugar. Then, as I am sneaker-ing small feet and bundlingbodies into coats in order to go to the store, do not allow my phone toring. And certainly do not let it be my oldest daughter calling fromthe church to tell me that she just threw up all over herself and herfather is busy teaching a CCD class and so can I please come pick herup… right now.

None of this is what I was looking for. But then again, you knew that, didn’t you?