A reader writes:
It would be nice to know that there are others out there who struggle with the conflict of truly being open to life and loving children and wanting a big family, but at the same time being overcome by the fear of the realities of a really big family and not knowing how to “slow down.” Because NFP isn’t as easy as everyone says it is and depending on one’s fertility signs, it doesn’t really always work. At least not for me.

Hmmmm, I do not want to get bogged down in the details of whether or not NFP “really works” here other than to mention that NFP methods test out at 98 point whatever percent effective, but what really counts for most people is “user effectiveness” which is a lower number. The simple fact is that using NFP to space or prevent pregnancy, particularly for some people, is not quite as simple as popping a pill. And that’s a good thing. Because we ought not to be using it the way some people pop a pill.

I think that with NFP, there wind up being many “accidental” pregnancies that are not truly “accidents” at all. Couples often know when they are bending or breaking particular rules or not paying close enough attention to fertility symptoms and lo and behold—a pregnancy results!

This might lead to a great deal of frustration with NFP, but as I said, I think it is a good thing. NFP is not fun. This fact likely encourages many couples to be more generous in planning their families than they would otherwise be. The seriousness with which most couples learn and use NFP is usually directly proportional to the seriousness of their reasons for using it. Personally speaking, if conception did not come easily for us and my husband and I had to actively plan every single pregnancy in the way people using artificial birth control do, we might have 3 or 4 children by now. We surely wouldn’t be expecting our eighth. We would be missing out and wouldn’t even know it.

All of which brings us to the heart of the emailer’s struggle. It can be hard—so very hard—to accept God’s plan for our families in place of our own. It is downright scary sometimes to turn something as powerful and potentially life-changing as our fertility over to God. And this works both ways. I know women struggling with infertility who want desperately to conceive and are unable to. These women too experience frustration, disillusionment, and fear in accepting God’s will for themselves and their families.

But our bodies and our fertility do belong to God. Sometimes the hardest words in the world to pray are “Thy will be done.” I know that when I pray it, my mind sometimes races through all the possibilities of what “God’s will” might be and I am tempted to add, “Oh, except for that! Thy will be done as long as it isn’t that!” Something to work on.

I don’t have any particular questions to pose on this topic, but there is a lot to think about here and I am pretty sure you all will have something to share. Thoughts?

This little Chinese boy with Down Syndrome is in need of finding interested adoptive parents by July 1. China does not usually allow for the adoption of children with Down Syndrome, but so many people advocated for this little guy that an exception has been allowed. A donor has offered to fund the adoption, but if willing parents cannot be found, James will be permanently institutionalized in China and no other babies with Down Syndrome will be eligible for adoption in the future.

Find out more through Barbara Curtis at Mommy Life and at A Helping Hand.

Somebody needs to wake me up. Maybe I really should try that coffee thing. If I didn’t know better, I would think that the two men we hired to do the drywall in our addition just pulled up in a truck, entered my house and began–get this– putting up drywall. I don’t know whether to faint with disbelief, squeal with joy, or break down sobbing. I’ll let you know what I decide later.

My dear brother David and I are moon twins, or Irish twins, as some people like to call it. This just means that we were born less than 1 year apart. When we were kids, I thought this was fabulous. It’s every younger sibling’s dream come true, isn’t it? For 18 glorious days out of each year, I caught up—actually caught up— to my older brother and we were the same age. Yes!

Well these days I don’t covet the privilege of growing older quite so much. In fact, today I am breathing a sigh of relief that I am once again David’s younger sister… for the next 347 days. Oh, I feel so youthful! Happy birthday, Old Man!

Ever watch that show Deadliest Catch, the Discovery Channel TV series that chronicles daily life on a boatful of Alaskan King Crab fishermen? It’s a favorite with Dan and the older kids so I see more than my fair share of drama, triumph, and tragedy at sea. Sometimes I am impressed. Sometimes I am horrified. And sometimes I am just plain grossed out. For example, in one recent episode, one of the fishermen, upon getting up to work after only a couple of hours’ sleep, poured coffee into his eyes to wake himself up. Coffee! In his eyes! My initial reaction was one of complete and total disgust. Eeeeeeeeew! Weird and gross, right?

Well this morning this groggy-eyed mother is no longer disgusted. Just intrigued. And curious. But not quite desperate enough to experiment.