Kateri has never been and never will be the kind of little girl I once was. Here’s our latest example: Little girls are supposed to love dollhouses, right? They are supposed to spend hour upon hour arranging the furniture and posing the mommy at the breakfast table and the baby in his highchair, right? I know I did.

But what does my 11 year old do when she gets her hands on a dollhouse? She helps her hermit crabs move in, of course.

Meet Hermitta, who likes to lounge by the windows and scurry across the bedroom floors. And Henry, who is so confident in his masculinity he wears a pink shell and prefers to sleep late… in his bed, naturally.

Glorious Saint Joseph, you are the patron of all who work. Obtain for me, please, the grace to work conscientiously and to put devotion to duty before my selfish inclinations. Help me to labor in thankfulness and joy, for it is an honor to employ and to develop by my labor the gifts I have received from almighty God. Grant that I may work in orderliness, peace, moderation and patience without shrinking from weariness and difficulties. I offer my fatigue and perplexities as reparation for sin. I shall work, above all, with a pure intention and with detachment from self, having always before my eyes the hour of death and the accounting which I must then render of time ill-spent, of talents unemployed, of good undone, and of empty pride in success, which is so fatal to the work of God. For Jesus through Mary, all in imitation of you, good Saint Joseph. This shall be my motto in life and in death. Amen.

I’m a little late getting to this, as last week was TV Turnoff Week, but better late than never:

A Reader’s Question
What is your family’s perspective on television? Do you let your kids watch it? Is it hard to set rules?

My Response
When it comes to television, our family has pretty much done it all and tried it all through the years. For the first year of our marriage, Dan and I had a large television with a cable connection and we watched TV every night. Then, when we moved to a house farther from the city, we decided we could not afford to pay for cable. Without cable in our new location, we received no channels and so that decided it for us. We packed our television into the closet and made great use of the local library. I have such happy memories of our family during that time—we had just two small children and we always had plenty to keep us occupied. Although I know Dan suffered from a lack of sports exposure, I don’t recall missing television at all during that time.

Then one day, our landlord came by to do some work on the house and asked where our TV was. When we told him we didn’t use a television, he almost fell to the floor. He felt so terribly bad for us, I remember him saying. And he had no idea that we were living like that. He was such a very nice and sympathetic guy that, despite our protests that we were perfectly content without television, he rummaged through the basement until he found a gigantic antenna. He then spent the rest of the afternoon installing it on the roof and hooking it up to the television he insisted we pull out of the closet. By the time he left, we received several local channels. As I recall, Dan immediately turned on a football game and settled on the couch. In the following couple of years, he got his weekly dose of sports and I got addicted to ER. Not so bad.

Then, when at last we moved here to our own house, we felt confident enough to pack up the television set and return it to a closet. We had a few more kids and they were getting older, though. On few different occasions (in the midst of stomach viruses and long weeks of blizzards) I did think, “Gee, a Winnie the Pooh video would sure come in handy.” Eventually, I stopped just thinking that and started saying it out loud. To my husband. And he listened. We got a VCR and started a library of our own family friendly videos. We had gotten it for the kids, but as it turned out Dan and I really started to enjoy renting movies together and having “grown up” down time the evening several times a week. That was not so bad, either.

Eventually, however, my poor deprived husband complained. He truly was sports deprived, he told me. He wanted to watch football games with his sons, just as he used to watch with his father. Keeping up with professional sports was an innocent pleasure he had long been denied. I took pity on him and okayed getting a satellite connection.

That was five years ago and we still have the satellite. We get local channels and some specialized channels and tons of channels we would never watch. We allow the kids restricted, supervised access to PBS, some cartoon channels, and some DVDs. We don’t have a set time limit in hours per week or anything like that because I don’t feel like we need to. The kids don’t watch every day. In fact, during the warmer weather when they can be outdoors, weeks can go by without anyone even asking for television.

Dan watches sporting events. And sports news. And sports talk shows. And sports game shows (Stump the Schwab anyone?). Are you picking up on the theme here? I am not so into sports but we do watch some shows together, like 24, Lost, and MythBusters.

The bottom line is, I see TV not as something intrinsically evil, but as a tool. One that can be used for good, but also one that can rather easily be abused. I surely don’t rely on TV or movies for educational purposes, but they can be a great source of family entertainment. And entertainment has its place.

I think, like so many things, there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to television and its use by families. I know of no-TV families, DVD-only families, all-kinds-of-TV families, and everything in between. They all have their reasons for using (or not using) television as they do and they all have made careful decisions based on what they deem best for their families.

Do I ever feel like we are watching too much? Yes. But that’s what the off button is for. Do I ever feel offended by something we inadvertently hear or witness on the television? Absolutely. But since we turn off or at least mute most commercials, it doesn’t happen very often. Do I sometimes worry that perhaps we are not handling TV exactly the way we should? Sure. But we parents are always second-guessing important decisions we make for our families, and then re-adjusting them as necessary. That’s our job. With God’s help and guidance, may we all do it well.

(By the way, for family friendly television and movie reviews and recommendations, check out Common Sense Media.)

And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do questionings rise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself; handle me, and see; for a spirit has not flesh and bones as you see that I have.” And while they still disbelieved for joy, and wondered, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate before them.
Luke 23:38-43

Lord, help us to see that You are with us and believe in You always.